Author's Note: This was a hard chapter to write. In the canon and in the 2004 mini-series, it is my opinion that Hannah Thornton was overprotective of John, especially his age of 31. Life is not without risks, and we never learn the valuable lessons from painful experiences if we close our hearts to avoid ever feeling that pain again. John bravely did not close his heart, and it is one of his most endearing qualities. Hannah's dependence on her son for her own happiness is a source of angst for both mother and son once John fell in love with his Margaret. It is a conflict that must be resolved in my story, and hence, this chapter.

Thank you for reading my story, and we are getting near to the end, with four more chapters to go.

Chapter Twelve: Milton and a Necessary Conversation

After church services on Sunday, John ate lunch with his mother. With all the problems at the mill, he needed to work on the ledgers, but he decided to finally have the talk with his mother that he had been putting off.

Margaret's letters to him have given him hope that he might win her hand, and he needed his mother to accept his love for Margaret.

"Mother, I need to talk to you about Miss Hale."

Hannah looked up at him, "What is there to talk about? She has moved to Spain, and we will most likely never see her again."

"It is true that she has moved to Spain, but I certainly hope we will see her again, and in fact, I have hope she and I will be married."

Mrs. Thornton did not understand, "How could that be? She left Milton weeks ago, and I heard Mr. Bell say that he was taking her and that impertinent servant of hers to live with her family in Spain. Are you in communication with her?"

"Yes, but Mother, I think it might help you to understand things better if I tell you when things changed between Miss Hale and I."

Hannah nodded and said, "Please do, John."

"The day before Mr. Hale's funeral, Mr. Bell came to see me. He revealed something to me, and it put the whole Outwood Station incident in a much different light. I cannot break the confidence I was trusted with, but Miss Hale does not have a lover. When I think back on the situation, I should have believed Miss Hale when she told me things were not as they appeared. Instead, in my jealousy, I judged her harshly and treated her badly. You cannot know how much I have hurt her, Mother."

"Miss Hale and I had a chance to talk about our past misunderstanding while we were in Oxford. She has forgiven me, Mother, and I have hope that one day, I will earn her love. I want to marry her more than ever."

Hannah was quite curious as to who the man at Outwood Station was. "Why can't you tell me who she was with, John? Surely it is not important to keep her secret now that she is gone from Milton."

'Mother, she trusts me, and I will never betray that trust. It is not important that you or anyone else for that matter knows the details. I know the truth, and I want you to trust me when I tell you Miss Hale is a virtuous woman."

Hannah was skeptical, but she would not anger her son by saying so. "John, I do not understand why you think there is hope you will marry her. How are you able to communicate with her? You have not seen her since she left Milton. Did you come to an understanding before she left? I know she asked to speak to you privately when she came to say her farewells."

"No, we did not come to an understanding at that time, and she has not agreed to marry me yet. She needs time to grieve, and when she is feeling better, I will ask for her hand. As far as how we are communicating, we are exchanging letters. I sent another letter to her with Mr. Bell when he was here."

Hannah thought for a moment, "John, there have been no letters delivered to the house. I do not understand."

John knew he needed to choose his next words with care. "I asked her to send her letters to the mill, Mother. Knowing how you feel about her, I worried you might not give her letters to me."

Hannah knew that in her efforts to protect her son from any more pain, his words were true. She might have kept them from him. It hurt nonetheless that John did not trust her.

"What about the Lennox fellow? Margaret is quite familiar with his family, and they addressed each other by their Christian names. She called Mrs. Lennox, Mother Lennox."

"Henry is my rival for Margaret's heart, Mother. He asked for her hand right before she moved to Milton. He loves her, too. She refused his hand once before, just as she refused me."

John continued, "Henry and I met in London at the Great Exhibition with Miss Hale and her family. I instantly disliked him because he was arrogant, but I have come to respect him, Mother. He did not treat Margaret badly because she refused him, instead, he continued to show her the kind of man he is. He accepted that she was not ready to love him or marry him. Margaret was just 18 at that time, and only 19 when I asked her to marry me. She only twenty now, and still very young."

"Henry's mother is a great ally in his pursuit for Margaret's hand. She loves Margaret as a daughter and has for a long time. You know what I find remarkable? Mrs. Lennox knows that Margaret refused Henry, and yet she loves her anyway. Mrs. Lennox told Margaret that while she was disappointed for Henry, she did not consider the matter any of her business."

Hannah scoffed at that; she did not know how Mrs. Lennox could possibly feel that way. A mother feels her child's pain, no matter how old that child is.

"Henry came to see me at the mill some weeks ago. We had a conversation about Margaret. He is a good man, Mother, and if we weren't competing for Margaret's hand, I might call him friend."

Hannah was surprised to hear that Mr. Lennox had been to the mill, but the thought of John having to compete for the girl's hand was outrageous to her. It made her angry, "Competing for her hand? The girl is unworthy of you, Son."

John came and sat next to his Mother, "Before I met Miss Hale, I felt a restlessness I could not name, and there was an emptiness that no amount of success would fill. When I met Miss Hale, I felt like a young man again and full of hope for a richer life, a more fulfilling life. Her beauty attracted me of course, but it was her compassion, her intelligence, and her fiery spirit that captivated me. She has no equal, Mother. Even if she does not accept me, it is important to me that you let go of your disdain for her."

Hannah said, "I cannot forget how she hurt you, John. Any other girl in Milton would have accepted you, but she thought she was too good for you."

John tried his best to be patient, "Mother, she was right to refuse me because she did not love me. I would not have been happy with such an unequal relationship. And you are wrong, Margaret does not feel she is too good for me. I know her, Mother, and you must own that you do not, and frankly, you have not wanted to know her. From the beginning of my growing attachment to her, you dismissed her because her father was in reduced circumstances. I remember your words, Mother, "Be careful you do not get caught by a penniless girl, John."

John stood up and turned to his mother. "I think you dislike Margaret because you fear she will take your place in my life. I love you both. Nobody can replace you as my mother, and nobody can take her place as the woman I want to share my life with. I know the two of you could grow to care for one another if you would just try."

"Mother, please understand and trust me to know what I need for my own happiness. Do you remember what you said to me after I came home from Crampton the day she refused me? You said that you would give your life's blood to see me happy."

"Margaret is my happiness, and if I win her heart, my happiness could only be complete if the two of you could get along."

John continued, "She wrote to me about her decision to go to Spain. In that letter, she told me what her definition of home is. Margaret defined home as a place where everyone who resides within loves and is loved. It is a safe shelter from life's storms."

"I may not win her in the end, but I need you to be my ally, just as Mrs. Lennox is for Henry. I need to be able to offer her a true home."

When Hannah did not say anything else, John kissed her cheek, and left to go to the mill.

She sat there for a long time in her chair. She thought about all he had said, and she felt a wave of sadness wash over her. She had wounded her son deeply, and she was sorry for it. She loved him with all her heart, and it would not do to continue to think badly of Miss Hale.

There was much truth to his words.

Now, how was she to make amends when the woman her son loved so dearly lived so far away?

Hannah rang for Jane to bring down the basket of handkerchief cotton. From the basket, she chose the very best squares of cloth, and began to make her amends in the best way she knew how. The next letter John sent to Miss Hale would include her small gift. Now, would the girl like yellow or pink roses for the embroidery, Hannah wondered.