On Today's Episode: It's chaos in Beverly Hills as Macker and Snit unleash their trump card on Beverly Hills, and naturally, the spies have to stop it before it can wreck their city. Problem is, this big ol' bot has a few tricks up its non-existent sleeves. Can the spies take down the marauding machine and save Beverly Hills?
Act 3: Duplicitous Disguise Demon
7:47 P.M. – Beverly Hills
The spy team were making a break for wherever Macker and Eugene's trump card was. They had changed from the UPWATIs (with Alex avoiding the punch line) to their catsuits. Deep down, Sam, Mat, and Clover were thankful Alex backed off on the punch line again.
"Anybody see that trump card anywhere?" Nozomi wondered.
"I don't see it anywhere," Nick stated. "At least not yet."
"But we should be close," Blaine remarked.
"Okay, where is that big ol' demon bot?" Melissa wondered.
"I'm hoping it's not far away," Sam replied.
The spies got their answer when people began screaming nearly fifty yards away.
"Just follow the screaming people and we should be gold," Siren chuckled.
"I'll bet it's off to the west," Haruka deduced.
They indeed went off to the west and found the Disguise Dealer. That's where Macker and Eugene were as well.
"All right, you knuckleheads, did you honestly think we were just gonna let you waltz around and wreck our city?!" May shouted.
"Well, obviously, if you knew what was good for you," Macker taunted.
"Okay, we're going there, aren't we?" Bridget sighed.
"What's good for us is seeing the both of you taking your final breaths!" Clover proclaimed.
"You would have a better chance of winning the lottery than us taking our last breaths," Snit taunted.
"But you got a zero percent chance at succeeding your god-forsaken mission," Dawn remarked.
"What they said," Alex replied. "And don't think for two seconds that you're getting away with the things you said either!"
"Yeah, let's just trash this thing and be done with it..." Mat added. "Especially these two doofuses!"
"Oh, we'll see about that!" Snit sneered. "You've taken your last breaths, after all..."
"Is that supposed to intimidate us, you shmucks?!" May exclaimed.
"Maybe not, but this will!" Snit laughed as the Disguise Dealer swiped two of its front legs down, having seemingly transformed into buzzsaws thanks to Snit's disguise technology.
Nick raised a psychic barrier to stop the attack cold before flying upwards to fire a Final Shine Attack into the machine's head, pushing it back slightly.
While this was happening, though, its middle legs moved upwards and snatched Melissa and Dawn up while they tried to flank it.
"I told you that you'd be taking your last breaths, you meddlesome wretches," Macker laughed.
"You're only getting one warning, Snit," Nick growled, his aura flaring around her. "Let them go this instant, or you won't like the consequences."
"Empty threats, boy, but nothing more," Macker responded. "Now you can just sit there while I squeeze the life out of these little twits."
Nick's response was to fly forward and fire a Final Shine Attack into the leg holding Melissa, snapping it off of the Disguise Dealer, then flying over to the one holding Dawn and blasting that arm off as well.
"You were saying, Macker?" Nick laughed.
Melissa and Dawn flew higher up and rushed down Macker and Snit before they could react, slamming both villains into each other before tossing them right out of the cockpit.
"That was for using us as stress balls, jerks!" Melissa shouted.
As Macker and Snit fell down, Nick raised his hands to encase them both in a psychic bubble before flicking his hand upwards to send them off to containment.
"And that's for everything else you've already pulled!" Dawn exclaimed.
"And now, all that's left is mister big bad bot over here," Nick quipped.
The Disguise Dealer started marching towards them, its weapons shifting appearance into futuristic flamethrowers as it did so.
"Guess they programmed an auto-pilot function into it," Mat groaned.
"Let's see how this beast likes a little purchasing power!" Clover exclaimed as she juked to the right to avoid another leg swipe, then threw a Platinum Credit Card to sever that leg from the machine.
Meanwhile, Bridget had transformed into Sonic Mode and started running around the Disguise Dealer to keep its attention on her while the rest of the spies continued to attack the mech.
The Disguise Dealer brought down another one of its legs, only for May to bash it aside with her anchor, giving Nick the opportunity to blast that leg off as well.
With only for legs remaining, the Disguise Dealer suddenly stood up on its hind legs, its disguise fading momentarily.
"I'm almost afraid to ask, but..." Britney quipped.
The Disguise Dealer's front legs reconfigured themselves into arms instead, allowing the machine to more closely resemble a typical giant robot. After that, the machine reactivated its disguise tech, this time changing into a kind of Gundam.
"W-wait, isn't that the Burning Gundam, from Mobile Fighter G Gundam?!" May gasped. "Man, they're really covering all of their bases with this disguise crap, huh?"
"Makes me wonder if Snit's secretly an anime fan or something," Alex quipped.
"Let's just cut this thing down to size before we have any more problems to deal with," Nick responded.
The Disguise Dealer answered by leaping into the air and coming down with a punch that shook the ground around them, forcing the spies into the air. Siren had jumped onto Nick's back as they ascended.
"Okay, that definitely wasn't nice!" Haruka exclaimed.
Siren quickly noticed something, notably that the Disguise Dealer's disguise had flickered slightly after that punch before re-establishing itself.
"You got something, Siren?" Nick wondered.
"It looks like can't hold the disguise for a few seconds after a big attack," Siren responded. "That'd probably be your best bet to get in a finishing blow."
"Sounds like a plan to me," Sam proclaimed.
The Disguise Dealer marched towards Sam in an attempt to punch her out of the sky, but she surrounded herself with an All-Weather Umbrella to deflect the punch, and this caused the machine's disguise to flicker for a second.
"There!" Melissa shouted, firing an Electromagnetic Curling Iron into the Disguise Dealer before it could re-establish its disguise, knocking the machine over onto its back.
"Quickly, everyone, we need to blast it before it can get back up!" Sam exclaimed. "I think you know what I'm suggesting."
"Oh, heck yes I am!" Alex laughed. "Let's put 'em together!"
May moved in and started bashing at the Disguise Dealer with her anchor, doing her best to keep the machine in its spot.
Sam started first, producing an Electromagnetic Curling Iron and tossing it to Nick. Alex followed up with a Laser Lipstick and a Wind Tunnel 9000. Nick connected the Laser Lipstick right above the barrel of the Electromagnetic Curling Iron, and the Wind Tunnel 9000 on top of the ECM, just behind the control panel. Clover finished by throwing Nick a Helicopter Hand Fan and a pair of wings from a spare Jetpack Backpack. Nick attached the Helicopter Hand Fan to the underside of the ECM's barrel, then placed the wings on either side of the ECM.
The combination weapon now complete, Sam, Alex, and Clover joined Nick to hold the weapon, Sam and Alex holding the jetpack wings, Clover grasping the side handle and Nick holding the main handle, his finger on the firing trigger.
"I love using this thing on giant robots," Alex admitted. "It fits so well."
"All right, everyone, let's bust this bot for good!" Nick shouted.
"Ready?!" Clover shouted.
"FIRE!" the four of them shouted together as Nick pulled the firing trigger. May made sure to back off to a safe distance after hitting the Disguise Dealer in its "lower deck".
The blades of the Helicopter Hand Fan extended outward and started spinning rapidly. Nick pulled the trigger again, and the Electromagnetic Curling Iron, the Laser Lipstick, and the Wind Tunnel 9000 all fired their payload into the spinning blades. Two seconds later, the Vortex Blaster unleashed a massive four-way blast consisting of a large electromagnetic beam surrounded by a spiraling wind blast and a barrage of laser bolts.
The blast screamed downwards and swiftly collided with the Disguise Dealer before exploding violently and tearing the machine apart.
"And that's how you take down a big ol' robot," Haruka laughed.
"Boy, am I glad that's finally over," Dawn sighed in relief.
"And here's hoping that Snit will learn his lesson about toxic gossip," Nozomi stated. "Though given our rogues' gallery, I doubt that."
"Well, I should probably head back to the island," Siren stated. "I'm sure the other animals there are worried about why I've been gone for so long, heh."
"I'll provide the express transport, then," Nick quipped as he raised his right hand to surround himself and Siren with a psychic bubble, so that he could guide it out towards Siren Island. "I'll meet you guys at W.O.O.H.P!"
The other spies nodded and turned around to dash off towards W.O.O.H.P. Headquarters even as a couple choppers came flying in to corral the wreckage of the Disguise Dealer.
10:03 P.M. – W.O.O.H.P. Headquarters
Jerry's Office
As expected, Nick was the last one to arrive at W.O.O.H.P.
"Siren made it," Nick replied immediately.
"Of course," May chuckled.
"Marvelous performance in the meantime," Jerry commended.
"Thanks, Jer," Mat remarked.
"Eugene Snit and Macker the Safecracker are right where they need to be," RiCO added.
"We actually were not aware that Macker had escaped ourselves," Jerry added.
"Glad to be of service then, Jerry," Haruka quipped.
Before long, the spies were then WOOHPed out of Jerry's office.
9:59 A.M. – Mali-U Beach
The Next Day
After a night's sleep and light breakfast, some of the spies chose to detox on the Mali-U beach – save for Clover because she had her Surf-ology class.
Simultaneously, Sam had returned with a smoothie for herself and a bottle of diet soda for Mat.
"Now that is gonna hit the spot," Mat quipped as Sam sat with him in her red and white tie-on bikini.
The two of them shared a kiss, and Mat noticed Sam had her engagement ring on.
As for the others, Blaine, Haruka, Britney, and Nozomi were engaged in two-on-two beach volleyball while the others were in the water; Nick and May were not among them because they were prepping for their Smash Bros. tournament.
Haruka was partnering with Blaine while Britney and Nozomi made up team two.
"Who you got?" Mat asked Sam from the sidelines.
"Probably Blaine and Haruka," Sam giggled. "You think we'd make a good team?" she asked Mat.
"Mmm... maybe," Mat answered. "I'm not well-versed on volleyball as I am with basketball, though."
"Keep your eye on the birdie!" Haruka shouted as she spiked the ball back to the other side, expecting an easy point...
...only for Nozomi to return the ball with an epic diving save.
"You were saying, Haruka?" Britney teased.
"Oh, it is on now!" Haruka exclaimed as she and Blaine bunted the ball back and forth between them for a couple seconds before both of them whacked the ball back.
Nozomi couldn't react to this one in time, sadly, a point going to Haruka and Blaine.
Meanwhile, Alex, Melissa, Bridget, and Dawn had popped out of the ocean.
"You're something else, Bridget," Melissa laughed.
"I think the water polo team has certainly helped me out for sure," Bridget laughed.
"Anyway, glad that Eugene Snit's where he really belongs," Alex told the others. "And Macker, too."
"Oh, no doubt about it," Dawn stated.
"Nothing like putting someone who's not entitled to love where he truly belongs," Melissa commented.
Bridget looked back to see Sam taking off her engagement ring and storing it safely; she and Mat were running into the water together and swimming near them.
"Anyway, we were going to see May and Nick at their tourney, right?" Britney wondered.
"Totally," Alex replied. "I know I am."
"But we've got time before we go," Sam happily agreed as she and Mat reached the group.
"Am I the only one surprised that Nick and May aren't here on the beach with us?" Bridget quipped. "I mean, I know their Smash tournament is tonight, but you'd feel like they'd wanna relax after everything Snit tried to pull on us..."
"You know it's hard to pull May away from Smash when she gets serious," Nozomi chuckled.
"True, true," Melissa giggled, only to sputter when she was suddenly splashed by someone. "All right, who's the wise guy?!"
All Melissa saw was a glimpse of Bridget's green hair before diving underwater after her. However, Bridget was too fast for Melissa, swiftly dodging every attempt Melissa made to grab her, even waving her finger like a certain famous hedgehog before darting off.
"Look at Bridget go," Nozomi laughed.
"Melissa seriously has no chance of out-foxing one of the best swimmers in our circle," Dawn chuckled.
"Oh, I'm sure that won't stop her from trying," Alex quipped.
6:54 P.M. – Malibu University
Starfall Theater
"Wait, why is everyone here singing in Latin?" Alex wondered as the crowd began to sing. It was the final match of the Smash Bros. tournament, the Mali-U Smash Fest, and most of the crowd were suddenly singing in Latin.
"It's the main theme of the game," May answered as she rejoined the rest of the spies. She had been defeated in the semi-finals after a spectacular battle between herself and Nick that Nick had just barely won, so that meant Nick would be going up against, of all people, Mandy for the final match of the tournament. "They decided to make it a vocal theme for once and give it Latin lyrics."
"It slaps harder than a fighting game song really has any right to," Bridget chuckled.
"On to the topic at hand, how do you think Nick's gonna do?" Haruka asked. "I know Nick's really good at Smash, but as we clearly just saw, Mandy's no pushover, either."
"Guess all we can do is wait and see," Clover stated.
"All right, everyone, we've had quite the rollercoaster of a tournament, but it has all come down to this," the tournament's announcer proclaimed. "We have a battle of the speedsters for this final showdown, with Mandy playing as Captain Falcon and Nick playing as newcomer Sonic!"
"Why am I not surprised it came down to that?" Nick quipped.
"Well, then, shall we see who's truly the fastest?" Mandy proclaimed.
"Oh, we definitely shall," Nick answered. "Let's do this."
"Fighters, are you ready?!" the announcer proclaimed as Nick and Mandy prepared themselves. "Three... two... one... FIGHT!"
Naturally, Mandy was the first to go on the offensive, throwing a Falcon Kick at Sonic to offset the hedgehog's instant charge. Nick, however, simply dodged out of the way.
"You could stand still, maybe?" Mandy quipped.
"You're not gonna hit me with that kind of move," Nick shot right back, completely unfazed by Mandy's taunting. "So, try something different!"
Mandy huffed, redoubling her attack, knocking Sonic into the air with a Raptor Boost, only for Sonic to quickly recover and Spin Dash into her.
"Keep trying!" Nick laughed.
Captain Falcon landed on the ground, and seeing that Sonic was approaching, charged up a Falcon Punch. Just as Sonic reached him, the attack erupted, sending Sonic a good distance away.
"Yeah, chew on that!" Mandy shouted.
Nick didn't seem discouraged, however, righting himself in time to Spring Jump back to the stage and using a Homing Attack to zero in on Captain Falcon.
"What was that?" Nick laughed. "Come on, keep it up!"
"Ooh, you're asking for it, little dude," Mandy growled, though both she and Nick knew that their "trash talk" was just harmless teasing in the heat of an epic final match.
That was when Mandy noticed that the Smash Ball had just appeared.
Almost as if acting on primal instinct, Mandy immediately stopped attacking to go after the Smash Ball, knowing what would happen if Nick got it.
"Yeah! Suck on the Blue Falcon!" Mandy exclaimed after breaking the Smash Ball and sending Nick flying with Captain Falcon's Final Smash, the Blue Falcon. That gave Mandy the advantage...
...or so she thought, as Sonic came back from the recovery platform with a powerful back roundhouse to send Captain Falcon to his defeat as well.
"Oops," Nick taunted.
"...oh, you'll pay for that," Mandy proclaimed.
The battle between Nick and Mandy kept on heating up, with Mandy putting extra effort into Captain Falcon simply to destroy Nick, who kept up his constant taunting.
"Am I glad Mandy's not actually getting mad anymore when it comes to that," Haruka stated.
"Yeah, Mandy's competitive, like a lot of Smash players here at Mali-U, but she knows when it's just harmless taunting," May responded.
Sonic came down from the air with a flying kick to knock Captain Falcon up into the air, then almost immediately performed an up aerial to send Captain Falcon flying further.
"All right, playtime's over!" Mandy exclaimed as Captain Falcon caught Sonic in a Falcon Dive, exploding the blue hedgehog and sending him flying, only for Nick to Spin Dash to keep herself in the game. "Oh, crapbaskets, I thought I had you!"
"And that's game over!" Nick proclaimed as he performed an up smash followed by a Homing Attack, and that was it for Captain Falcon.
The crowd erupted into cheers for both players for putting up a masterful performance.
"I was so close, too," Mandy sighed even as she couldn't help but smile.
"Hey, I'm willing to bet that if I had even a little more percentage on me, that Falcon Dive would have been my doom," Nick admitted. "Regardless, way to keep me on my toes for most of that."
"And we have our winner, everybody!" the announcer exclaimed as he brought out the trophy. The base was decorated with the personal symbols of many of the characters, and at the top of the trophy was a silvery metal recreation of the Smash Ball, with curved steel pieces winding around it to evoke the energy radiated by it. "What a show everyone put on for us today!"
As the announcer handed Nick the trophy (which meant that both Nick and May had won a tournament here at Mali-U), he glanced at Mandy, who was smiling.
"I'll get you in the next tournament," Mandy proclaimed.
"I look forward to it," Nick responded as he and Mandy high-fived each other to the applause of the crowd around them.
Totally Spies: He's Full of Snit
~The End~
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Final Author's Notes from Mat49324: With that, that's it for He's Full of Snit. I really enjoyed this project for sure with the female wannabe-magnet Eugene Snit coming back as well. So, with that being said, I hope you liked this one yourselves, and that you'll stay tuned for our next project, Heavy Metal Queens, where we'll be dealing with a new villain NOT from the TV series. In addition, we have two particular members from Idol Opportunity returning, too if that makes for other surprises. For now, here's The Blue Time Ranger for his final thoughts.
Final Author's Notes from The Blue Time Ranger: And that's a wrap! This one was interesting to write, considering the circumstances of Snit's plans. Rumors can be devastating at times, especially when you have a crowd that tend to believe the rumor mill over the truth, as we demonstrated way back in Starting a Snit Storm.
With that out of the way, the next episode of Totally Spies: The New Adventures is also gonna be interesting, since it involves, sit down for this one, an ORIGINAL VILLAIN! Yeah, we're not limiting original villains to the season finales or the movies outside of the occasional Professor Genesis. We've got a new villain that likes her weapons how she likes her music, heavy AND metal, next time on Heavy Metal Queens, which will be posted by me. So, until next time, have a fantastic day, don't listen to the screeching moron, enjoy this preview of Heavy Metal Queens, and we'll see you next mission!
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She slowly waved her hands across the keyboard in front of her, hoping like always that she could muster up some motivation to continue playing her unfinished song.
But, just like every time she tried, it fell flat due to her bitterness.
She was almost on top of the music world, ready to cement her place as the best in her craft...
...until they showed up.
Those bunches of no-talent punks and their alternative genres of music taking all of the fame and leaving musicians like her in the dust...
Well, she was officially fed up with taking that.
She looked around at everything she'd assembled for the plan she'd been cultivating for so long, sure that she would finally taste her richly deserved revenge after losing everything that mattered to her in the world of music.
Because if they wanted to kick her to the curb and leave her music in the dust, then she would do the same to them.
Eye for an eye, after all.
She typed something in on her keyboard and stood up to walk out of her secret place, ready to show the world the true meaning of heavy metal.
To be continued in Totally Spies: Heavy Metal Queens...
