Skit: Basically ANY main character in a detective anime.


This case was a hard one. Good thing Detective Subaru and his partner-slash-Great Spirit Beatrice were on the job.

[Subaru]: "So this is the scene of the crime."

In walked Subaru, his partner close at hand. The boy was wearing a sherlock-holmes style hat, and so was the small girl beside him.

The Greatest Knight, Julius Euclius, followed close behind. He was in charge of the debriefing on behalf of the knights. He had heard of Subaru's exploits of defeating two of the great calamities, something that couldn't be done for four centuries, and figured he could use his help.

[Julius]: "That's right. They said the robbery happened just last night. Fifth one this week."

It sure was. It seemed that there was a serial larcenist on the loose. Their kleptomania had to be stopped once and for all.

As he finished his statement, he closed the door behind him.

The pair stopped in their tracks. Subaru gave Beatrice a look, and she nodded.

[Julius]: "Honestly, I don't know how we haven't apprehended the guy. He doesn't leave behind any–"

[Beatrice]: "Stop, in fact."

Julius complied.

[Subaru]: "Close that door again."

Not understanding, but willing to cooperate, Julius opened and closed the door once again. Its creaking made Subaru confirm his hypothesis.

Beatrice smirked. She heard it too.

Resigning his hands into his tracksuit's pockets, Subaru stated with confidence:

[Subaru]: "This isn't the place."

[Beatrice]: "It is not, in fact."

[Julius]: "What do you mean?" Was it the door? What had he missed?

[Beatrice]: "This is just to throw us off. Knock on that door three times."

Julius was attempting to put the puzzle pieces together. He knocked on the door.

knock knock knock

[Subaru]: "Now tap it three times with your finger tips."

tap tap tap

[Beatrice]: "Once with your elbow."

thud

[Subaru]: "Now lick it."

[Julius]: "Eh? Really?"

[Subaru]: "I need you to lick the door."

Against his better judgment, he followed the order.

Lick

Subaru chuckled internally, he didn't really need to lick the door. Beatrice didn't comment on it.

[Julius]: "Mind explaining why? What happens now?"

Not explaining why, the detective continued.

[Subaru]: "I see. It's an older model. Whistle."

Julius whistled a tune with meager enthusiasm.

A door shifted behind them.

[Julius]: "Hey. W-What was that?"

[Subaru]: "That's what we're looking for. It's a secret passage."

[Julius]: "Well, I'm not so sure about 'secret.' This door has been here the whole time."

[Subaru]: "Well, you're not wrong. It would appear that this door is just a door that leads to another room, but with the right touch... After you, partner."

Beatrice taps on the door in a very specific way that no one without their eye for crime would be able to discern.

[Subaru]: "Now look."

[Julius]: "Wait! That's the room we're in right now."

Breaking his knightly character for a moment, Julius lets his surprise be known. If he was doubting Subaru's ability before, he sure didn't now.

[Beatrice]: "No, it's the room we thought we were in."

Julius was bamboozled, and by the looks of it his spirits were too.

[Subaru]: "We haven't wasted too much time. Now we can start the real investigation."

[Julius]: "Hold on, be quiet. Give me a minute."

Julius was doing a lot of self-reflection as of late.

[Subaru]: "Just follow me, Julius."

The fellow spirit knight had no other choice but to comply.

Walking into the new-old room, the detective duo scanned all around in search of clues.

[Beako]: "There, I suppose."

Beatrice spotted something critical.

[Julius]: "What is it, great spirit-sama?"

[Beako]: "That stack of books and papers."

[Julius]: "What about them?"

What was so odd about this seemingly normal stack of books?

[Beako]: "They weren't like that before. In the first room we walked into, the decoy room, that top book was straighter than this one. Meaning that on his way out he had to walk through the decoy room and tripped over something, in fact. Landing directly on that stack of books and papers, thus ruining it. He then laid there in agony for a short while, and then stood up."

Julius' mind was going a hundred miles an hour. He couldn't keep up.

[Big Brain Beako]: "In an effort to make it look like he was never here, he fixed it. However, he didn't know that this stack, the original stack, wasn't perfectly stacked, in fact. So, in his effort to make it look like he was never here, we now know for a fact that he was, I suppose."

[Subaru]: "That's my Beako! Couldn't have said it better myself!"

[Beako]: "Yes. Praise me more, in fact. Hooligans shall fear me."

When it came to books, no one was better than Beatrice. She hadn't spent four centuries in a library for nothing. Without even touching the evidence, she noticed the slight difference in the book's position and tied it back to the perpetrator's actions. Could he ask for a better partner?

[Julius]: "So, you got all the information from that?"

This was a bit much, even for him.

[Julius]: "You're reaching, with all do respect. These are two separate rooms after all, so why should everything be the same. It just doesn't make any sense."

Something in Julius' pocket began to glow.

It was the communication mirror he'd given to Felix. He told him to contact him if any new data regarding the case came to light.

Flipping open the mirror, he listened in.

{Felix}: "Heya, Jyulis. We managed to recover a metia that the escape artist tried to destroy. Seems like it captured him in the act, I can see why he tried to get rid of it. Anyway, it looks like he fell over some books or something. Hurt his leg. You guys might want to check this out nya~"

Beatrice simply nodded, not a doubt present in her mind.

Julius was borderline speechless, but he had to keep his composure. He could freak out later.

Subaru wasn't just doing nothing this whole time, however. He's been thinking.

[Subaru]: "My deduction is that the suspect is twenty years old, five foot eleven inches, in school, and heading towards the Healing Institute right–"

[Beako]: "As–"

[Subaru]: "We-"

[Beako]: "Speak."

Finishing each other's sentences like good partners do, the duo officially closed the case. Another job well done.

Julius was starting to freak out now.

[Julius]: "The Healing Institute?!"

[Subaru]: "You might want to catch him."

[Julius]: "Fine, fine. Very well. Felix, send a knight platoon to the Healing Institute right now."

{Felix}: "Got it. Right away."

And with that, the order was done.

[Julius]: "I hope you know what you're talking about, Subaru."

His communication mirror began to glow again. He picked up.

[Julius]: "Yes?"

{Felix}: "Jyulis! You're not going to believe this. We got him! We got him; we got him at the Institute! We got him! Right away! How did you knyow? How did you knyow?! Tell me nya~"

Subaru and Beatrice casually walked away from the crime scene. The half-elf's knight readjusted his cap to hide his eyes, smirking all the while.

Julius was left flabbergasted.