Skit: How they show strong swordsmen in anime.


A sparring battle was taking place in the courtyard of the Astrea manor. After the subjugation of the White Whale and Sloth, Subaru had taken interest in becoming stronger so he could protect those he cared for, so Wilhelm decided to train him.

Wilhelm admired Subaru's drive, and with a little convincing, got Reinhardt and an old colleague of his, Alfred, to spar.

[Wilhelm]: "Subaru-dono, I want you to watch and learn. These are two of the greatest swordsmen in the kingdom, if not the world, and they're about to go at it. Be aware that this could get ugly quick."

[Subaru's inner thoughts]: "I should try my best to pay attention then if I really want to get better."

Alfred and Reinhardt took their stances.

And clashed!

But, they hadn't moved.

[Wilhelm]: "Incredible! That reaction time!"

[Subaru]: "What? What do you mean? All the guy did was draw at his weapon."

[Wilhelm]: "No, Subaru-dono. In only a fraction of a second, Alfred-san unsheathed his blade while simultaneously attacking. But the sword saint managed to perfectly block that lightning quick strike just in time. These two are at a completely different level than any other professional. I don't even think Julius-san could keep up."

[Subaru's inner thoughts]: "Wait. All that happened within a fraction of a second?"

[Alfred]: "Okay, so you really are as skilled as they say you are. I'd say it's safe to fight at my best then."

Reinhardt smiled. He didn't often get to spar like this.

{[Reinhardt]}: "You should always fight your best from the start."

The battle continued, or at least Subaru thought it did. They weren't moving.

[Subaru]: "Why aren't they…"

[Wilhelm]: "WOOOHHH! Never in my days have I seen that! Wow. Oh my goodness. Did you see that, Subaru-dono!" Wilhelm was clapping and motioning over to where the battle took place.

[Subaru]: "No. See what? What are you talking about? They're just standing there."

[Wilhelm]: "You don't see it? You really do need to just sit down and watch and learn then."

His patience was running thin. What was there to learn?

[Subaru]: "Ah- Watch what? They're sitting still! Are you out of your mind?"

[Wilhelm]: "No, you're wrong. Right now, they're moving faster than light itself. They're only moving back to their original positions ever so often to touch the ground. Which is why it still looks like the light is still bouncing off of their bodies back into our eyes."

All things considered, that was incredible, but that didn't help his situation.

[Subaru]: "O-Okay, how do I see them? H-How do you see them? How do they see themselves?"

[Wilhelm]: "What! OOH! OOHH! WOW!"

Wilhelm could see the pure passion put into their swordplay. The way Alfred curved his blade and put his back into his swings was magical. Reinhardt parried at perfect intervals, not breaking a sweat.

Subaru looked back; if he was fast enough maybe his could still catch some of the–

They hadn't moved. Or he didn't see any movement.

[Subaru]: "Man, tell me what you see! I can't– I don't see nothing!"

Wilhelm was laughing. Subaru had never seen him this joyful, even when he avenged his wife. He was missing out, dammit!

Suddenly, Wilhelm gasped.

[Subaru]: "What? What?!"

[Wilhelm]: "Oh no."

[Subaru]: "What is it?"

[Wilhelm]: "I'm gonna level with you here, Subaru-dono. I just saw them do some shit I didn't even know existed. Now mind you, I can also move faster than the speed of light–"

HE COULD! Since when? Why didn't he do that against the whale?

[Wilhelm]: "I'm losing track of them."

[Subaru]: "So what? They're good, right? That's what I came to see, right?"

Wilhelm couldn't hold it in any longer. The situation had gone from bad to worse.

[Wilhelm]: "You are in an unbelievable amount of danger right now."

[Subaru]: "What? No!"

The black-haired youth put his hands to his head. Was he gonna die? Where was his last checkpoint, again?

[Wilhelm]: "I should have never brought you here. I'm sorry."

[Subaru]: "But you're the Sword Demon! Y-You can't protect me, in danger?"

[Wilhelm]: "They are both here and not here all at once."

Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.

[Subaru]: "W-Wilhelm you can protect m-me right?"

His chances were not looking good, and were decreasing by the millisecond.

[Wilhelm]: "I'm pretty sure they just jumped through time, and made the universe. I'm so confused. I don't know what's going on."

[Subaru]: "Stop telling me stuff they're doing now!" He didn't want to know.

[Wilhelm]: "Yeah. I put you in grave danger today. I am so sorry. I am both extremely surprised and grateful that I can sense what these two are doing right now."

[Subaru]: "Well, what does that mean for me? What does it mean?"

[Wilhelm]: "Okay. It's really dangerous right now, you should just go."

[Subaru]: "Alright. I-I'll just–"

[Wilhelm]: "DON'T MOVE!"

A chill colder than ice went up his spine. Where was the danger? He couldn't see it!

[Wilhelm]: They're fighting all around us right now. At the speed they're going, I'm sure that they could destroy–"

SLICE


Meanwhile in Sloth IF, a much older Subaru was going through similar training in hopes of protecting his family. He couldn't let Rem do all the heavy lifting.

[Halibel]: "-destroy multiple realities… What was that?"

[Subaru]: "What was what?"

Reinhardt and Reginald were still visible. They hadn't formed or destroyed any galaxies yet, and Reinhardt didn't fight the sun.

A tall man wearing a strange outfit is the next to enter the area.

[Aldebaran]: "Hey, I'm here for the interview."

Despite wearing a helmet, he projects his voice fairly well.

Al gets diced and sliced from every conceivable direction. His authority is rendered ineffective, because in a fight with the sword saint the only one with any authority was Reinhardt.

Al is erased from this mortal plane.


A/N: The mental image of the stoic Wilhelm going "WOHH!" and losing his shit over a sword bout since he's such a sword nerd was my prime inspiration for writing this chapter.

Now without further ado, GEETT OOUU~UT!