"You're gonna fly with every dream you chase
You're gonna cry, but know that that's okay
Sometimes life's not fair, but if you just hang in there
You're gonna see that sometimes bad is good
We just have to believe things work out like they should
Life has no guarantees, but always loved by me
You're gonna be
Someone's everything
You're gonna see
Just what you are to me
You're gonna fly with every dream you chase
We just have to believe things work out like they should
Life has no guarantees, but always loved by me
You're gonna be, always loved by me"
-Reba McEntire- You're Gonna Be
Beyond sat amongst a multitude of cardboard boxes with all different labels on them. Pulling a nearing box in between his legs he popped it open cavalierly. The side of the box read "Wedding." Staring dully at each photo as he flicked them into the garbage that sat at the end of his right foot. Crimson eyes blinked rapidly when he stumbled across a certificate of marriage. 'Johnathan Andrews and Sharon Wammy.' "A relative?"
His eyes darted from the page as he was already starting to stand. "Sharon… I've seen that name…" Beyond half heartedly flipped boxes around the room in search of the familiar name. Arching both eyebrows as a satisfied smirk came across his lips. "Gotcha!"
He reached for the box slowly and tenderly placed his fingers along the top. 'Wammy? Like Quillish?' Pinching a loose end to the packing tape, he gently pulled the aged plastic back. He cautiously flipped each side of the top of the cardboard box open. Vermilion eyes peered over the edge, wide with curiosity, and landed on a photo of a woman with brilliant amber eyes and long shimmering onyx hair.
Pulling the picture from its early and shallow grave of cardboard, Beyond blew the dust from the frame and ran the tip of his thumb along the porcelain face in the photo. Flicking his eyes to a journal, he laid the framed memory next to him.
Red leather bound textured pages, where an elegant script handwriting sprawled across the pages. "February, 18th: 1970. This is my first day at the orphanage for gifted children. I don't understand how I could be gifted. Because I'm good at puzzles and math? That doesn't mean I deserve to be here. There is a man who visits here, who I guess donates a lot of money, he's very nice, he goes away a lot but he always comes to play with me and Lizzy, oh! I just started you, so you don't know how Lizzy is. She's an amazing girl whom I've come to call my best friend. I lost my last journal you see, and when Quillish heard I loved to write to catalogue my events, he got me you. Today is my tenth birthday. The matron here told us all to imagine and draw where we want to be in ten years. I'm not so good at drawing, but I still want to participate, I'd like to think, I'd be married, maybe in an upstanding college… I don't know what I'd be going for, but I suppose that will come to me in time. I hope that my husband and I could have a lot of beautiful children. Lizzy thinks I'm crazy, but I do… I hope to have many children."
Beyond smirked as he ran his finger along the pages as he flipped through them, following the life of a woman he never knew. "December, 24th: 1973. I'm glad Lizzy is my friend… The other kids seem to avoid me. We stay up late and talk, even after mother has told us to lay down, tonight she crawled into my bed with a flashlight and we talked until she fell asleep, nearly eleven o'clock I think, or so the grandfather clock chimed. I hear the others whisper about me and my eyes…" Beyond glanced up at the photo again and sighed. "I think they're beautiful, Sharon."
"May, 6th: 1975. Oh journal! A wondrous thing has happened to me! Lizzy's father came home! And she threw a tantrum and told him she was going nowhere without me! I'm getting adopted!" Beyond could feel a small smile tug at the corners of his lips, after reading through her life, to see a grandiose moment of happiness. She always seemed to be alone with the exception of Lizzy. He knew that loneliness all too well. Turning the page, a picture fell out of two girls and a man, dressed in what seemed to be the finest. He smiled softly at Sharon, then inspected the girl next to her. Another sun starved young woman, with shoulder length raven hair and eyes dark as night. The man in the middle of them hand a gentle hand on each of their shoulders. Turning the picture over he observed another's handwriting. "My beautiful daughters, one of my late wife's body, and the other from her soul, I'm sure. Elizabeth and Sharon." Sharon wore a blinding smile, while Elizabeth only gave a sideways smirk. One that seemed familiar.
The entries seemed to have slowed down until they only seemed to be charting big events in her life. "September, 27th: 1978. Growing up with Lizzy has been a dream come true, I've completed all the homeschooling father has set before me and he has enrolled me into Cambridge of all places! I won't let him down! I am going to be a respected lawyer one day!"
"June 9th: 1979. As you know, the schooling hasn't been easy, the extracurricular activities are time consuming. But, I met a wonderful man, his name is Johnathan. Johnathan Andrews. He's tall, blonde hair and green eyes. They're so dreamy and easy to get lost in."
"November 17th: 1980. He proposed! We're to be married this spring. Quillish thinks it's too soon. But I know in my heart, he's the one." Beyond lifted his eyes towards the box that spelled "wedding" along the side and cracked a tiny smile as his hair fell into his resplendent eyes.
"January 20th: 1982. I'm writing to you in the midst of a dreadful labor and delivery. My first born. I'm writing in between contractions. However, the doctor says my baby should be here either tonight or tomorrow in the morning. My beautiful baby. I can't wait to see you."
"January 21st: 1982. My beautiful baby boy was born this morning around nine in the morning. I'm not entirely sure of the time, I am worried though, he never cried. He's been gasping, but not a single wail. He'll be strong. Not even afraid of the world that is brand new to him, no tears from you, my beautiful baby boy. Please open your eyes."
"January 22nd: 1982. He finally opened his eyes! And tried to lift his head, the poor babe. But still no cries, coughed a bit last night and had a small fuss, but no cries to be heard. Johnathan has turned his back, said he had the eyes of the devil, but he's no devil, he's my beautiful baby boy. Even with eyes as red as blood, he will always be my beautiful baby boy. His skin as fair as the snow itself, hair that makes even the darkest raven envious. Eyes of fearlessness and passion is all I see. All I see… Is my beautiful baby boy." Beyond felt his breath hitch and a knot form in his throat.
A note fell out of the back of the book, ink stained in circular motions around beautiful script handwriting. "To the son I could never name, not a single name of this world could ever describe your being. I always called you, my baby, my boy, my beautiful baby boy. I guess the letter B was always fitting for you. I didn't abandon you. I loved you with ever fiber of my being, every intangible string of my soul. You'll grow up one day, you'll be strong, handsome, intelligent and cunning, I'm sure. I left you in the care of Quillish, my adoptive father, because I knew he'd love you beyond your eyes and see the beauty of your mind. I wish I could have stayed with you here… longer… but I have to run, so he doesn't find you. I love you my beautiful baby boy. My B."
Beyond could feel a sting from behind his nose as his eyes silently filled with tears. He released a soft shuddered breath as a solitary tear fell. His throat began to hurt as he reached further into the box to find old a VHS tape and a VHS player.
After a few minutes of jimmy-rigging the VHS player to the television mounted to the wall above the fireplace. Beyond took a sharp breath and slid the tape in while hanging his head, his hand pressed against the wall propping himself up. The screen flickered and showed some static before clearing and showing a woman holding a baby in a rocking chair singing softly to it. Beyond took a coarse breath and swallowed hard as his tear filled eyes lifted to the screen to see the image. His voice at a loss for all its power, a quiet trembled whisper escaped his lips, "Mom…"
She looked up and let a broken smile loose towards the camera. Beyond recognized the room she was rocking him in. The very room he grew up in. The screen went dark and lit up again, Sharon was sitting at the piano playing and singing while the baby sat in a small rocking chair while being held by a toddler who was gently rubbing his head and hugging him softly on occasion.
Beyond could feel his lower lip quiver as he silently stepped back to the couch, grabbing one of the throws and hugging it tightly as silent tears fell. Sharon stopped playing and took the baby from the toddler with messy onyx hair and eyes as dark as the night sky. She lifted him towards the ceiling and gave a grand smile, "My beautiful baby boy…"
The screen went dark again and flickered to a staticky picture before clearing, it was Sharon bathing the baby, who looked to be a few years older. "I love you… my little B."
The screen went dark as crickets chirped outside filling the room with a comfortable darkness. Holding the pillow tightly, Beyond finally stirred after a few minutes of silently sobbing into the fabric. He let his feet carry him to the box once again. He knelt down to a small leather box, seemingly uninteresting in features but held the unknown.
He picked up the box and creaked it open. "I hope I have the answers you need…" He lifted a picture of him and Sharon next to Lizzy and her son. He set the picture down and found a torn scrap paper that had written in beautiful script hand writing, "I'm afraid you'll have to suffer through some of my mistakes." Below it was a newsletter announcing the discovery of the body of Sharon Wammy, found dead with strangulation marks around her neck, faced down in a shallow river outside of Sheffield.
Furrowing his eyebrows and hanging his head as he released another shuddered sigh. He removed the article from the box and found another scrap paper. "Cause anything worth doing is worth doing all the way. Just know you'll have to live with all the choices that you make. So make sure you're always giving way more than you're taking." He moved the scrap paper to find a blanket with the letter B sewn into it and a picture of his mother stitching on the very same blanket next to his crib as he slept. He scooped the blanket up and held onto it closely. Another note was spotted as it drifted down from the blanket, "You're going to be, always loved by me."
Beyond looked up towards the walls and spotted the perfect spot. He dug through the drawers in the utility closet before pulling a hammer and nails from the drawer. He then set his sights on the empty spot and hammered a nail into the wall and bent over gently lifting the picture off the floor and tenderly rested it on the nail in the wall. "I love you too… Mom."
The microphones queued and a familiar monotoned voice was heard muttering, "B… what are you doing now?"
Beyond smirked and sighed happily, "Making peace with my past."
