Skit: When you REALLY need to sell that house.


Time was money, and nobody believed that philosophy more than Anastasia Hoshin.

In order to expand her influence with the Hoshin Trading Company, she had begun to dip her hand into the real estate market. There was money to be made and with her knack for business she had no doubt that she could flourish on the housing stage.

She was a greedy gal, after all. Maybe improving the housing conditions of the nearby area could help her gain sway in the election.

Speaking of which, she had a client today.

A man wearing all green stepped down from a dragon carriage. He was a traveling merchant in need of somewhere to settle down for a while now. He looked fairly timid on first inspection. He should be an easy one to persuade.

Putting on her business-face, Anastasia was ready to work her magic, metaphorically speaking.

[Ana]: "Yeah, if ya liked the outside, I can't wait to show ya everything else. It's already been furnished, but we can clear everything out if ya prefer."

[Otto]: "Yeah, I can't wait, miss Hoshin. I was looking at some of the houses earlier, around in this neighborhood and–"

"̵̨͎̫͔̞̦̱̰̯̣͔̓̏̃̉̍̈́̔͋T̸̛̛̖̙u̴̡̲͉͙̜̩͈͙̜Ŕ̷̩̜͊̀̊N ̴̜̎̊̀̇̒̈́̿B̷̻̯a̷̳̞̖̼̰͉̺̮͉͐͌̆́̔Ç̵̨̛̣̪͇̩̞̖̬͍͇̯̗̤͍̅̈̂͋̀͛̎K"̶̧̛͔͙͔̰̼̭̑́̅̈́̉́̀̂͠

Anastasia gripped her clipboard. Why now, dammit!?

"̶̡̛͓̞̝͍̾ͅT̵̡͍̰̻͇̰̥͇̒̊͑UȒ̴̜̮̱̮̞̰̉̐́͐̏̔ņ̶̯̺̟̻̤̬̯͖͖̅̓̽́́ ̵̨͔̙̮͓̝̰B̶̧̟̞̬͇AC̵̭̥̣̃̉̅͌͐̽̆̓̄͘k̵̡̡̯̩̞͙̀ ̷͍N̵̛̼͖͉͈̟̘̾̍̿̽OW̸̖̺̠̹̭͑͂̆̿̃͂̎̈̀̚͝!̴̱̦͙̝͔͖̗͇̎̍͆̔̔̃͂"̷̨̲͇̻͓

She could still sell this. Just play it off like it never happened.

[Ana]: "So… wanna take a gander upstairs?"

[Otto]: "Alright." Nope, this wasn't the place. He turned to leave. He had seen enough. Him and danger did not mix.

[Ana]: "Waitwaitwaitwait! You haven't even seen the whole house yet."

Leaning against the door, blocking her customers' escape, the purple-haired trader used her merchant charms to dissuade him of his early exit.

[Otto]: "Ah, yes, of course. You weren't there. I was politely given a choice, in a clear and concise manner to turn back. Is this not back?"

Otto may have been timid, but he wasn't stupid. He was a merchant too, after all, so these tricks wouldn't work on him. Ghouls were not on the lease agreement.

[Ana]: "Nah man. That was the wind blowing against the house. You can't let that stop ya."

Otto just stared at her. Wind, huh?

[Ana]: "Look, I work in this neighborhood a lot, y-yer not gonna find a better deal than this house."

No greater lie was spoken that day.

"̴̟̊̆̄͘ͅD̵̻̫̖͈̾̚͝ẻ̸̹̘̠͈̲͎͓̮̣Aẗ̶̨̡͖̲̳̝̬͗̄̍̌̀͗h̸̢͍̲̲̦̥̳̺͔̓͌.̶̧̗͔̰͉̰̲̼͕"̶̧͕̹̥̠

Could she get a break?!

Anastasia knew that there was something in this house, but that wasn't her problem. She had tried calling a priest to solve the issue, but whatever hollow living in this house was a tough customer. Nevertheless, all he needed was a change of perspective; just think of it as a feature exclusive to this house.

"̴̟̊̆̄͘ͅD̵̻̫̖͈̾̚͝ẻ̸̹̘̠͈̲a̷̻̔͌̄̆͌̾͘͘ẗ̶̨̡͖̲̳̝̬͗̄̍̌̀͗̑h̸̢͍̲̲̦̥̳̺͔̓͌̈̌̎͂͛̓̈.̶̧̗͔̰"̶̧͕̹̥̠̿̄̎̈́́͆̾́͊̽́͋̄͠

[Otto]: "Huh. You must have some very articulate wind."

Otto tried to pry her hands off the doorknob, but her grip strength was inhuman.

[Ana]: "Now, now. Hold on. Hold on." She put a hand on his shoulder to calm him.

[Otto]: "Get off, miss! Look! Is that a body on the ground right there? That's a body. That's a body on the ground. Right there. Ain't it?"

Anastasia looked over. Ricardo was supposed to clean that up yesterday. She'd make sure to talk to him about that one.

Speaking of the body, they had some sort of strange clothing on. Definitely not from anywhere nearby. Just who was that guy? Anyway, back on topic, she had to play it off no matter what.

[Ana]: "…No."

[Otto]: "Look! Look!"

[Ana]: "It's not."

[Otto]: "It's– that's his spirit! Was he a dancer?"

Some translucent specter with nasty eyes and black hair can be seen breakdancing by the body. He had some good moves, too.

[Ana]: "The lights, the way the lights uh–"

[Otto]: "I've never seen lights like that. Explain yourself! What crystals are these?"

The candidate for the kingdom could only stutter. This had not gone as well as she hoped.

[Otto]: "It says 'I loved to dance' written in blood on the wall."

Julius was supposed to get rid of that…

[Ana]: "When they were painting the house, t-they…"

[Ana]: "We should go to another house…"

[Otto]: "Yeah."

That house was not sold. Ever.


A/N: Welcome to volume three! This one's gonna be the best one yet. I can feel it in my bones.