Skit: Strangers at the gas station at 1 AM
"Take care."
Those were the last words his mom said to him before he left to go to the convenience store. He should've said something back. What if he were to get randomly isekai'd one day, they'd be worried sick.
Nah, that would never happen.
Subaru entered the convenience store, squinting as the light hit his eyes and the music filled his ears. He was only here on a snack run, maybe some ramen, maybe some candy.
But before that, he took a look at the manga section. It was only window-shopping, a way to kill time.
[Subaru]: "Ah, I see. This is where they suck you in."
He was skimming over some romance story. Through the window, he spied a guy walking a girl home. Lucky bastard.
He dragged himself over to the food. He was hungry, but what type of cup noodles should he get? So many choices. Maybe udon, or something spicy?
He ultimately decided to get the natto-style ramen over the miso. It went down easier. He made sure to get some potato chips too.
Satisfied with his choice of foods, the black-haired boy made his way to the cash register.
But… there was some weird guy standing off to the side. He was staring at him and muttering something strange. Was that a towel over his head?
[Subaru]: "Uh. Are you talking to me?" He squinted.
The man showed no visible reaction.
[Cashier]: "You need help with anything?" The cashier piped up after he saw Subaru hesitate.
[Subaru]: "Yeah uh.. Could I get some of these–"
[Stalker/Subaru]: "-noodles. Some chips. And um…"
Subaru glanced over to the weird guy. He wanted to test something.
[Subaru]: "Could you put–"
[Stalker/Subaru]: "Twenty.."
Subaru's heart skipped a beat.
[Subaru]: "-on pump…"
Of course, Subaru didn't have a car despite what his name would suggest, but nevermind that. He was pretty sure that guy was copying what he was saying. Freaky!
He leaned over to the cashier, maybe he did need some assistance. He held up a hand to whisper.
[Subaru]: "Is he saying what I'm saying right now?"
The cashier glanced over to the man in the back.
[Cashier]: "What?"
[Subaru]: "That guy, right there. Is he literally quoting what I'm saying in real time?"
The cashier looked him over again. He was strange, but he didn't like to judge others due to his own past, but that was a tale for a different time.
[Cashier]: "I'm sorry sir, I wasn't– I wasn't really paying attention, so I don't know."
[Subaru]: "Bro, how long has he been here?"
He had been coming to this particular store for just about forever and he had never seen this man a day in his life. Was he a local? Maybe his dad would know. His dad knew everybody.
[Cashier]: "Well, I actually just clocked in. I don't know. He was here when I got here. At least like ten minutes, maybe more."
[Subaru]: "Alright, now uh… yeah, could I get this and…"
He stared at the guy.
The guy stared back.
One last test.
[Weirdo/Subaru]: "Twenty on…"
[Subaru]: "See he is doing it!"
The man was staring straight into his soul. He didn't stop speaking either. His lip movements were perfect imitations of his own down to the accent.
[Escaped Criminal/Subaru]: "Why's he doing that?! How's he doing that?!"
[Subaru]: "He's saying the same stuff– Look! Look at what he's doing! He's doing it right now!"
The cashier wanted no part of this. He just clocked in and he could already tell it was going to be a long shift.
Subaru, on the other hand, was busy worrying for his safety. It was dark out. He might not be making it home, and it wasn't going to be from some isekai mishap.
There's no way. How did he know what he was thinking? Was this some prank his dad put the guy up to? That still wouldn't make sense. Who was this dude?
[Subaru]: "AHH! Apple jack!"
[Potential Serial Killer]: "AHH! Apple jack!"
Random words didn't work.
[Subaru]: "Blah! Blelele! Blaleah!"
[Wanted Fugitive]: "Blah! Blelele! Blaleah!"
Even gibberish failed.
He needed to get out of here!
The problem with that, however, was that the man was between him and the door.
When in situations like this he remembered something his mom had told him. From her experience, it had worked in weirding out pushy guys that tried to hit on her before she met his dad. He didn't think he'd ever have to do it, but here goes nothing.
Subaru began to dance. It was a pitiful jig, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
The man followed in perfect synchronization.
As Subaru popped and locked, the cashier was frozen in shock. Just who would win this live-action 'Just Dance' reenactment?
Subaru began to mix in some footwork into his dance routine, but it made no difference. There's no way someone without dance experience could mimic him this well! This guy wasn't just a creep, he was a talented creep.
Alright, screw that idea. Time for Plan B:
Run like hell.
Subaru ran down one of the aisles. Maybe if he could get around and confuse him..
The guy rounded the corner just as he did. Retreat!
Subaru ran back.
And there he followed, without even breaking a sweat. Despite being on two different sides of the aisle, he still couldn't shake him.
Fuck.
The cashier did absolutely nothing to help. He'd be sure to report that guy later.
Subaru attempted to juke the weirdo, and almost succeeded in breaking the guy's ankles. He chuckled. This guy was skilled but he wasn't omniscient. He just might make it home in one piece after all; he just needed to break his flow.
With inhuman speed Subaru spun around on the balls of his feet. To the left! To the right! He jumped! He ducked! In this battle of attrition, Subaru was determined to be the winner. His determination was one of his best traits after all.
While he was contemplating doing a backflip, his phone began to ring. Yes! Maybe his parents could pick him up and–
The man's phone….. was also ringing.
He even had the same ringtone.
His hope crumbled.
It might be a while before he got back home.
