What REALLY happens when they say "I'll be there."


Ram was up and about, diligently working.

On not working.

She had just sent Petra on an errand to fetch some cleaning supplies in the second floor storage closet.

Right as she was about to fix herself a snack, the communication mirror in her pocket began to glow.

It was Barusu. She scoffed. Apparently, his 'good timing' didn't extend to metia messages.

[Ram]: "Yes, filthy Barusu."

{Subaru}: "Hey, Ram. You're coming to this get-together, right?"

[Ram]: "For the final time Barusu, I will be there. How insolent of you to doubt me."

She added some cheese to her ham sandwich.

{Subaru}: "But for real this time. The last time you were a no-show it was really awkward to explain to Reinhardt why he had to piggy-back me home."

[Ram]: "Don't worry over nothing, Barusu. I will definitely be there."

{Subaru}: "Seriously, just let me know if you aren't gonna go. I really don't wanna wind up asking Julius or something."

[Ram]: "I am one-hundred percent going to be there Barusu. In fact, I'm already preparing the carriage. Your ground dragon misses you dearly."

She took a bite of her sandwich. Delish!

{Subaru}: "Alright. Y-You're my ride home."

[Ram]: "I get it, Barusu."

{Subaru}: "Okay, okay. I just need you there, and say 'hey' to Patrasche for me."

[Ram]: "Yes, of course. Goodbye Barusu."

{Subaru}: "Alright bye."

She closed the communication metia.

A snicker escaped her lips. She had just thought of something funny.

[Ram]: "Heh."

That snicker turned into a giggle. Here's a thought: What if she just… didn't go?

[Ram]: "Ha!"

That giggle morphed into a laugh. Wouldn't that be hilarious?

[Ram]: "Pfft. HaHAHa!"

Sandwich in hand, the madwoman began to cackle as she made her way back to her quarters.

[Ram]: "MuHaAHaHaAA! HAHAahHa!"

Whether up the stairs.

Or through the hallways.

Her laughter did not halt for even a moment.

[Ram]: "Fufufu! FuHaHeHahHAh!"

Petra, who was hiding in the storage closet, didn't make a peep. She didn't want to cross paths with whatever was in that hallway.

The oni woman made it to her lair.

Licking the crumbs off her fingers, Ram set the communication mirror onto her desk. As she prepared to go to bed, her constant chortling made it harder for her to get into her nightgown.

Her laugh was one that could put Betelguese to shame.

As she climbed into bed, she pictured the look on Barusu's face when he'd realize she wouldn't be coming. How long would it take? Who would he piggy-back with this time? She was practically crying tears.

In that moment she had truly felt…

Fanatical like a demon.


It was cold out.

It was past midnight now.

Where the hell was she?

Subaru was standing out in the frigid cold, waiting for someone who would never come. He didn't end up asking Julius for help; he still had his pride to hold on to. After losing his dignity he still wanted to keep something for himself.

He tried his communication mirror for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

{Metia Tech Support}: "Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system. For additional information, seek–"

Subaru threw the device to the ground.

Dammit Ram!