I miss the years that were erased

I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face

I miss all the little things I never thought that they'd mean everything to me

Yeah, I miss you

And I wish you were here

I feel the beating of your heart

I see the shadows of your face

Just know that wherever you are

Yeah, I miss you

And I wish you were here

-From Where You Are – Lifehouse-


Then…

Caspian timidly pushed the slightly cracked door open. "Hey, are you here?" Stepping through the doorway fully his sapphire eyes landed on a couple pieces of paper left out on the counter next to his watch. Caspian frantically searched his pockets as a plunging feeling hit his stomach. "No."

Biting his lower plush lip, he stepped closer in trepidation. "You're a smooth criminal Beyond… stole my watch…" His voice trailed as he gently touched his lips with his fingertips, he could feel his throat growing in ache as his voice cracked out. "And my heart…"

He looked down at the papers, he knew the folded one well, a description of Beyond in full detail, including even his shoe size. But the other. Beautiful script handwriting scrawled across the page, 'I had hoped. If you're reading this… I know. I figured something was off about you… I guess it was a futile hope and dream. Fleeting as it was, I enjoyed our time together… I wish we could have met earlier, before you were a killer by contract and I, a killer of desperation. There is a young woman in the apartment next door, please release her. I promised no harm would come to her. Do not make a liar of me, or you'll fear every dark shadow from here back to L.'

Caspian shifted his gaze around the apartment as he grabbed his belongings, including the note from Beyond. He then walked to the door, gave the apartment one last sad glance before walking out.


Now…

"Come on, Caspy! You've been down in the dumps for years! You never do anything anymore!" A chestnut haired detective with olive green eyes called to the blonde. Caspian stared at his computer in silence, not even removing his gaze. The detective leaned against Caspian's desk, "Someone really did a number on you. Shit, I remember back in the day, you always got your man, then partied harder than college kids."

Caspian stared dully at his computer as the brunette reminisced. "It's not the ones I get that haunt me… It's the one that got away." Caspian stood and glared sharply at the young male, "If you're quite done, I have research to do." The younger male sighed and bounced off the desk, leaving silently.

Caspian watched him and pulled the map behind him down and released, it flew up revealing a trail map with details, many crossed out in red sharpie. "Apprehended with first degree burns. Follow up, FBI agent Naomi." Another detail below, "Aided a special agent "N" in the Kira killings. No follow up details." "Detainment moved from Los Angeles Penitentiary to Compton. No released information."

Caspian smirked as he wrote in black sharpie below the previous details. "Custody released from Compton; a detective "L" is custodial guardian. Sources reveal transport to England." He glanced his hardened blue eyes towards the last known photo of "Beyond". He felt his eyes lose some of their intensity when staring at the photograph. He let out a low growl as he punched the wall, puncturing it, dropping pieces drywall to the floor. 'Why can't I hate you… You're the only one I let get away… Why?'


Beyond stared into the mirror with saddened eyes. He leaned against the bathroom counter, supporting himself up on his arms as he hung his head. The speakers drawled a humming sound as L's voice came over them. "What's on your mind?"

Beyond looked up to the mirror and drew in a deep breath, "Ever meet someone… And even though they meant you harm… You couldn't get them out of your head?"

A distinct humming sound was heard, "Yes. I have met two people like that in my life. Enigmatic."

Beyond cracked the tiniest of smiles, finally, him and L had true common ground. "What were they like?" He lit a cigarette as he turned towards a camera.

L betrayed a small chuckle, "Well. I'll describe them, but I'll save the best for last. One, he was brilliant, dare I say just as cunning as the first, maybe not as deviant, but definitely highly intelligent. Sometimes I find myself thinking, how great they could have become, how much good they could have done. But then. I find myself thinking, maybe they were only as great as their limitations would let them be… That person… Probably wouldn't have been very good at being good. They pretended to be good, but they weren't. And they knew that I knew they weren't. That's why I was a threat, because I could see behind their mask of insecurities and faults. I saw him for what he really was. A scared boy who was a coward. I truly believe, were he not doing wrong… He would have been nothing more than average, he would have let the mundane drag him to the grave of normalcy."

Beyond nodded and took a long drag of his smoke as L continued monotonously. "And the other…" His voice seemed to draw out the R sound, "The other is you. You've been on my mind since the day you left. It's impractical, but I fixated on you, worried about you, lost countless hours of sleep over you. It's just always been you. Even though others were around me. They weren't you. And to this day, I still don't know why. I shouldn't care, Near says I should have left you alone. But I can't. I do care. I always did. I never stopped."

Beyond dropped his cigarette and stared in astonishment at a camera, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open slightly. He shook his head and hid his face behind his bangs. "I should… Get some sleep. Uh… Night, L."

Leaving the bathroom he shut the light off, leaving the cigarette abandoned in the porcelain sink. He slowly crawled into bed and curled himself into the fetal position and hid under the blankets as he silently sobbed. 'Why? Why me? Why am I so special to you, L? What did I ever do?'