Skit: Sound Pillow


Petra was busy cleaning out a hard to reach section of a nook in the mansion. It was difficult work due to her short stature, but if she wanted to make Frederica proud she would have to work her best. This was just one step towards her ultimate goal of becoming a modiste in the capital.

Just as she was getting the last of the dust out of that nook, she heard something that made her heart quiver.

It was the whimpering of a dog, potentially a puppy. Along with it, came the grunting of someone.

[Petra]: "Is that a dog?"

W-Was someone hurting it?

Petra couldn't just sit by and let something so cruel continue, so off she went. She had a puppy to rescue!

Once she had located the room the noises were coming from, she steeled her resolve. No matter what she saw, she had to stay strong; no animal deserves to be hurt like that. She barged through the door.

[Petra]: "Stop it! What are you doing?"

The person she found was none other than Meili Portroute attacking a poor defenseless

…pillow?

The pillow squealed. Why did it sound like that? And why was she hitting it so hard?

[Meili]: "Huh? Hey, Petra. This is the new sound pillow. You hit it and it makes sounds."

To demonstrate, she smacked it against the bed.

"Swquaa!"

It wailed like a dying mabeast.

[Meili]: "It's supposed to relieve stress or something. I think it was invented in Kararagi."

She breathed a sigh of relief. At least it wasn't a real dog. But of all sounds, why that one?

[Petra]: "S-So, you chose the one that had the dog sound?"

If what that was insinuating was true, Meili and her might not be able to be friends.

[Meili]: "I mean, well, this is just one of the default sounds. I could change it, but I'd have to ask the creepy clown-san to do some magic on it, and I really don't want to have to do that. Anyways, you wanna try it?"

Thank goodness. Their friendship was stable, for now.

[Petra]: "I mean… I guess."

[Meili]: "I've got another one around here somewhere."

The orange-haired girl glanced over the room. Hmm. If she were a pillow, where would she be?

Under the desk? Nope.

In the closet? Nuh-uh.

A-hah!

She spied a pillow lying beside a dresser. It was worth a shot, she supposed.

[Petra]: "You said it's supposed to relieve stress, right?"

[Meili]: "Uh yeah. It's for stress relief. I can find it somewhere."

Petra took another look at the sound pillow. Stress, huh? Well, she did feel a little frustrated that Subaru still hadn't returned her feelings. She had nothing against Emilia, but this was a competition for romance. Love is no game; it's war! Maybe getting rid of a little strain would allow her to act more proper as a maid. Once Subaru saw how mature she was, he wouldn't be able to deny her charm. It was the perfect plan!

Taking a bat that Meili had in her room for some reason, she lifted it over her head.

[Meili]: "Alright, here we go."

Underneath the blankets and bundles of dolls Subaru had sewn for her, the ex-assassin pinpointed the object of her desire.

Just as she reached to pick it up, Petra swung down her bat on the pillow in front of her.

"Arf! Sqwaaaahhh!"

It wailed like a dying mabeast.

[Meili]: "Hey, here– aye, no, no! NO! No, there's a real dog in there!"

Because it was a dying mabeast!

[Petra]: "WHAT! No!"

She dropped the bat like it was on fire.

[Meili]: "A real dog's in there!"

Both of the girls looked over to the pillow.

[Meili]: "Scruffles, no! Wah!"

Sticking out from under the pillowcase, was Scruffles' hind legs, her guiltylowe in puppy form. His favorite place to sleep was in pillowcases. And he was just so cute that she couldn't resist. It was like a mini sleeping bag. Just picture it!

Anyway, back to the screaming.

[Meili]: "Ahh! Why'd you hit him?! AhHh!"

[Petra]: "AhhhHH! I thought that was the pillow! AHHHH!"

Petra was terrified; she had become an abuser. Now her life was going to spiral into crime and no one would ever love her.

[Meili]: "My dog! My dog! Scruffles!"

[Meili/Petra]: "WahAAAAaaaa!"


A/N: Don't worry, the dog's fine. It's a freakin' mabeast