Skit: You've just been born and your parents do this
The communication mirror at her side began to glow. Who could that be?
[Emilia]: "Hello?"
{Felix}: "Yes, hello Emilia-sama. So, uh. It looks like you left your child here at the hospital."
[Emilia]: "Oh yeah. They said they were going to deliver him, actually. So yeah, we're already home and we're just waiting on that."
Nyani? There must've been some sort of interference on the line.
{Felix}: "Huh? No, the child has already been delivered. When nyou went home you just–"
[Emilia]: "Already delivered? Excuse me for a moment."
She set the metia down. It's not like it had a pause or mute button or anything so Felix could still hear her.
[Emilia]: "Hey, Subaru!"
[Subaru]: "Yes, Emilia-tan!"
[Emilia-tan]: "Is the baby in there with you?"
[Subaru]: "No. They said they were going to deliver him."
On the other side of the line, Felix was very confused. This had to be a prank. Emilia's naivete was believable, but Subaru? Mr. "I-love-you-Emilia-tan" Subaru? No way.
{Emilia}: "That's what I said."
She sat down and brought her attention back to the device.
{Emilia}: "Yeah, we never got him."
She was joking, wasn't she? He wished he had Lady Crusch's divine protection right about now. Would it even work through a metia?
Technical questions aside, this wasn't much of a laughing matter. His tail had started to swing quite impatiently in response, so he grabbed it before he knocked something over.
[Emilia]: "I'm afraid he was never delivered here, and I didn't get a confirmation message so…"
Were they crazy enough to leave their baby for a joke?
…
…
Oh no. They weren't joking!
{Felix}: "Nyo, Emilia. He was delivered. He was born here, at the hospital." He spoke slowly and deliberately in order to make sure Emilia would hear everything he said.
[Emilia]: "Yes, I know. I was there. Can you find the address that he was delivered to so we can fix this."
What was she not understanding?
{Felix}: "To deliver is to assist a woman in giving birth! To a baby. I helped you deliver the child, Emilia. I was there! Your son is very cute but y'all weren't supposed to leave after that. You take him home! We don't deliver babies anywhere."
Emilia looks at Ferris through the conversation mirror. Her face was tilted, displaying a canvas of confusion.
…
[Emilia]: "I have never heard that word used like that in my entire life."
[Felix]: "Are you serious?!"
[Emilia]: "I am dead serious."
There was no way anyone could be this sheltered. She gave birth but didn't know about this?
[Felix]: 'Deliver'? Literally every hospital uses that terminology!"
[Emilia]: "W-Well, the Hoshin Trading Company does too, so I got a little confused. I had no clue they helped a woman birth all those packages."
He almost knocked over a table.
[Felix]: "Wh- how- That's not the same thing!"
Forgoing his feline accent, he struck the root of the issue.
Emilia was starting to panic. Had she messed up? Was she doomed to be a terrible parent? Not good! She didn't want to disappoint Subaru or their child.
[Emilia]: "W-W-Well, you see where there could be some c-confusion, right?" Her face was flushed and her ears had turned bright pink.
[Felix]: "NO!"
Felix was very concerned for the future of this family.
A/N: Finally managed to put Emilia into one of these. No character is safe from the power of parodies.
