This is a Sly Cooper Fanfiction of how the fourth game SHOULD have gone; in my opinion at least.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own the rights to the Sly Cooper Franchise and do not claim to.
Sly Cooper is copyrighted to Suckerpunch Productions and Sanzaru Games.
Please enjoy!
After taking the night to recuperate, the Cooper Gang was back in business. Tennessee had made full recovery and was itching to take it to Toothpick. At the moment, Bentley was making another slideshow presentation to illustrate how they would steal back the gold and put Toothpick in the slammer.
"Okay, Bentley;" said Sly, "You've got our attention. What's the plan?"
"We're going to need to move fast if we're going to recover the gold and set things right with history;" said Bentley, "So we'll need to pull the next phase of the operation on two different fronts at the same time. Objective one; get Tennessee's six-shooter back."
"Thank ye kindle, Bentley;" said Tennessee, "I'd just finished turnin' that thing into a cane-ended gun when that son of a rattlesnake Toothpick done took it from me!"
"Well, I've got good news and bad news regarding that;" said Bentley, "The good news is that during her aerial reconnaissance sweep, Penelope was able to locate Toothpick at an abandoned gold mine. That's got to be where he's stashed the gold and Tennessee's gun."
"And the bad news?" asked Sly.
"He's got the mine sealed up pretty tight;" said Bentley, "So Murray and the Panda King will have to go along to get the entrance opened. Once they do, it'll be up to Sly and Tennessee to work their magic on the inside."
"You can count on us;" said Sly, "Nothing better than two Coopers working together."
"You boys want me along?" asked Neyla, "Just in case?"
"I'm afraid that's impossible;" aid Bentley, "I'll need you to join me, Penelope, Dimitri, and the Guru for objective two; finding out what Toothpick has planned for the gold."
"Okay then;" said Neyla, "What do you have in mind?"
"Toothpick's office is above Cotton Mouth's saloon and casino;" said Bentley, "And we're going to have to get past a LOT of ornery guards in order to reach it. So, to start things off, I'll enter the saloon in disguise and take up a position at the bar. With any luck, the super-sweet sarsaparilla that Penelope and I developed back home should keep most of them busy."
"What about the others?" asked Penelope.
"The rest can probably be soothed with music and song." said Bentley. "Neyla, you can play the piano, right?"
"Sure;" said Neyla, "I took lessons when I was in finishing school."
"Excellent!" said Bentley, "You'll play the piano while Dimitri goes on stage and sings. The Guru will cast a spell that will make Dimitri's singing somewhat hypnotic, and the guards will be so entranced, they won't notice anything!"
"Sounds good to me, Bro!" said Dimitri, "Dimitri will leave them all entranced!"
"And finally," said Bentley, "This will give Penelope the window she needs to launch her RC car into the vent system. From there, she'll drive to Toothpick's office and listen in on what he has planned for the gold."
"That's perfect, Bentley!" said Penelope.
"So…" said Bentley, "Everyone knows what they're doing?" Everyone nodded. "Good!" said Bentley, "Then let's get going!"
Sly, Tennessee, Murray, and the Panda King followed the directions that Penelope had provided them out of town. Soon, they reached the mine.
"Yowza!" said Murray, "Look at all the security on that thing." Indeed, there was a massive door in the side of a cliff. Huge electric locks held the door in place, and there were guard posts on both sides of it.
"It's a tough nut, to be sure;" said Sly, "But I'm sure we can crack it."
"I have constructed very strong fireworks for this;" said the Panda King, "However, I will need time to aim and launch them, properly."
"And once the guards see that something's up, they're sure to come running;" said Sly, "Panda King, Murray and I can keep the guards off you. You just focus on getting your fireworks on target."
"Of course." said the Panda King.
"Alright!" said Tennessee, "Sounds like it's time for a hoedown throwdown!" The four of them ran into the area just before a guard sounded the alarm. Several coyote and jackrabbit guards came running in to stop them.
"Keep them off me while I aim my fireworks!" ordered the Panda King. Sly dashed to the right while Murray went left. Sly bashed a coyote with his cane before jumping and diving onto a jackrabbit. Murray, on the other hand, picked up a jackrabbit and threw him right into a coyote, knocking them both out. "Launching firework now!" said the Panda King. He let go and his firework blasted one of the electric locks on the door. Sensing the intruders were getting closer to breaking in, the guards started coming in, heavy.
"C'mon, Chumps!" said Murray, "There's no way you can knock down The Murray!" He uppercut a coyote before backhanding a jackrabbit.
"Nice work, Murray!" said Sly, whacking a jackrabbit, "We're almost there!"
"Almost there… Now!" shouted the Panda King. He released his second firework and blasted the second lock.
"Hoo-wee!" said Tennessee, "You folks sure know how to handle things."
"Comes with a lot of experience;" said Sly, "We're pretty used to this."
"Okay, Sly;" said Murray, "I'll get that door open so you and Tennessee can get inside."
"Thanks, Murray;" said Sly, "Once we're in, you and the Panda King better head back to the hideout. There's a chance more guards could be on the way."
"Okay." said Murray. With that, he grabbed the bottom of the door and lifted it up as best he could. "Gosh…!" he exclaimed, "This thing's… heavy…!" Once the door was open just a bit, Sly said,
"C'mon, Tennessee, let's roll!" The two raccoons ran towards the door, then somersaulted under it. Murray finally allowed the door to come down. Then he turned to the Panda King and said,
"Let's hit the bricks! We don't wanna be out here when more guards show up,"
"Agreed." said the Panda King. And the two of them made their exit.
Over in town, everyone was in position for the infiltration of Toothpick's office. Bentley (wearing a phony mustache) entered the saloon and made his way over to the bar.
"Um… Hello there, patrons…!" he said, "Would any of you be interested in some of my home-brewed sarsaparilla? The guards all looked at each other, then all nodded and grunted in agreement. Bentley slipped behind the counter and started pouring drinks. The guards, once served, started chugging the soda down, and getting a little high on sugar. While this was going on, Neyla slipped into the saloon (dressed as an organ grinder). Since Bentley had most of the guards distracted, she was able to reach the piano without too many people noticing her.
"Right…" she said, "Let's see if I remember how to hit the right notes…" She sat down and ran her fingers over the keys. After a quick warm-up, she gained some confidence and tapped her earpiece. "Okay, Dimitri… You're on!" Behind the curtain, Dimitri (dressed as a barbershop singer) pulled the curtain lever.
"Time to keep it smooth, Baby!" he said to the Guru.
"Of course." said the Guru, and he hopped on Dimitri's back. The iguana waltzed onto the stage and began signing in French as Neyla started playing the piano. Once all the remaining guards were aware of what was going on onstage, the Guru began to wave his moonstone. As Dimitri sang, his voice began to hold the audience in it's sway. They all smiled and settled down to enjoy the song. Then, Penelope peeked in through the door. She looked over at Bentley and flashed her glasses to signal him, Bentley flashed his glasses in return, and the mouse entered the saloon. The guards were either sugared up from sarsaparilla or distracted by Dimitri's singing; so they didn't notice Penelope at all as she made her way to the air vent at the back of the room. When she was sure no one was watching, she placed her RC car inside the vent and headed back outside.
"This is Penelope…" she said into her hidden mic, "I'm rolling the RC car out now."
"Roger that…" said Bentley, "We'll keep things going a bit longer, then get out of here." Penelope activated her remote's camera screen and began moving the sticks. The images on the camera showed the RC car moving through the vents. Despite running into a few spiders and having to dodge a few spinning fans, Penelope made short work of getting her car to the duct that led to Toothpick's office.
"I've got a bead on Toothpick…" she said, "Let's see if I can hear what they're saying." She listened, intently.
"Okay, listen up-a, you stupid goons!" she heard Toothpick say, "I've just-a heard from the big boss. He's got a little package he's-a gonna deliver for… insurance purposes. We're-a gonna use-a this to make-a sure Cooper and his miserable pack of varmints don't-a screw up the operation no more!"
"What's he talking about…?" Penelope asked herself.
"Then…" said Toothpick, "We're-a gonna load the rest of-a the gold on the train, and make like-a the wind outta here! You'll get-a your cut, and I'll-a go back-a to the present, and live like-a the czar!" Suddenly, he checked his phone. "Good news!" he said, "The package, she's-a been-a dropped! Go out-a to the mine and make-a sure she's-a… taken care of…!"
"Sure thing, Boss!" said one of the steers in the room, "We'll make sure she's-a dealt with!" He paused for a minute, then said, "Aw dangit…! Now ya got me talkin like you!"
"This package sounds important…" said Penelope, "Better recall the RC car." She drove the car back through the vents until she reached the exit. Once there, Dimitri was waiting to carry the car back outside. Soon, Bentley, Dimitri, Neyla, and the Guru exited the building and regrouped with Penelope.
"Excellent work, my RC Queen;" said Bentley, "Did you find out anything?"
"I sure did;" said Penelope, "Toothpick's just had some kind of package delivered for insurance. I don't know what it is, but it can't be anything good."
"Insurance…?" said Neyla, "That probable means something or someone he can use against us."
"Well, he said the package was out at the mine;" said Penelope, "Maybe we can find out what it is."
"Good idea, Penelope;" said Bentley, "Let's regroup with Murray and The Panda King. We might catch them on the way back from the mine!"
Deep inside the old gold mine, Sly and Tennessee were sneaking their way past several steer guards. Upon getting to the top of a rocky pillar, the two of them wan along a rope that was tied to a wooden wall on the other side of the room and dropped behind it to a secret holding compartment.
"Gotta say, Sly;" said Tennessee, "I'm impressed with how quickly you picked up on my rail walk technique."
"I learned everything from the Thievius Racoonus;" said Sly, "I gotta say, I'm really grateful that you and my other ancestors put all their thieving tactics in that book. Heck, my father even came up with a way to rail slide on lasers."
"Say what…?" asked Tennessee, "What in the name of the Pecos are lasers?"
"Beams of light that can be used to burn things or trip alarms." Sly explained. He then looked behind him and saw a long-barreled pistol with a handle that looked exactly like the end of his cane. "Hey…" he said, "Is that…?"
"My gun!" Tennessee cried for joy. He ran over and snatched the firearm up. "Oh, Blue… I missed ya!"
"Great!" said Sly, "Now that you've got your gun, what say we get out of here?"
"Sounds good to me, Partner!" said Tennessee.
"Partner…" said Sly, "I like that; makes me feel like a real cowboy." Tennessee loaded his gun, aimed it at the lock on the door, and fired! With the lock blown off, the door swung open. Unfortunately, the noise alerted the guards to their presence. Sly was nervous, but Tennessee focused on five of the guards, raised his gun, and took them all down in two seconds!
"You lose, Greenhorns!" Tennessee said, "Ain't nobody gets past my crackshot technique!"
"Wow!" said Sly, "That was… amazing!"
"Shucks…" said Tennessee, "Twern't nuthin!" Suddenly, more steer guards came running in. "I think we best make our exit!" said Tennessee, "Follow me!" He and Sly leaped onto sone minecart tracks and slid down them at amazing speed. "YEEEE-HAAA!" Tennessee hollered as they slid.
"WOO-HOOO!" Sly added. This was an incredible experience for him. The tracks spiraled and curved, then went up and down. Sly couldn't quit the huge smile he had. Finally, the tracks and tunnel ended at a discharge point. Sly and Tennessee jumped off the rails and landed safely, on the other side of the river.
"Hoo-wee!" said Tennessee, "That was more fun than a mud bath in a rainstorm!"
"I'll say!": said Sly, "Getting to rail slide with my ancestor… It was a blast!"
"Yeah…" said Tennessee, "It's really been some fun getting to do all of this with my great-great-great somethin' or other grandson."
"Thanks;" said Sly, "You know… With everything that's been going on, I'm really happy that I'm finally having the chance to meet my ancestors in person. I've read so much about them and learned so much. It's… great to get a chance to run with them for real."
"Aw shucks…" said Tennessee, "Don't sell yourself short, Sly. I think you're a fine example of a Cooper. And… I wanna thank you for two things."
"What?" asked Sly.
"Saving me from the gallows for one;" said Tennessee, "And letting me know that I'll get married for another!" He and Sly both laughed. Then, Sly became a little somber. "Say…" said Tennessee, "What's the matter…?"
"It's nothing, really…" said Sly, "It's just… there's this woman I like. Okay, REALLY like; and I'd really like the chance to be with her. Now… I'm not sure I'll ever have that chance again."
"Aw… why not?" asked Tennessee. Suddenly, there was a shout.
"What was that…?" asked Sly. He and Tennessee climbed up a small hill and overlooked a scene before them.
"Huh…" said Tennessee, "That ain't good; looks like ol' Toothpick went and shanghaied himself a purdy lady!" Indeed, Toothpick and one of his steer guards were tying a beautiful vixen to the back of a stagecoach.
"NO…!" Sly cried out, "It's Carmelita!"
"You know her…?" asked Tennessee.
"She's the girl I was telling you about!" said Sly, "How did she get here?"
"I ain't got no clue!" said Tennessee, "But we can't let Toothpick get away with her." Sly quickly got on his binocucom and said,
"Bentley! We've got a situation here! Toothpick's got Carmelita and he's taking her somewhere in a stagecoach!"
"Hopping horned-toads!" Bentley cried, "Hold tight, Sly! We'll be there with the truck in a few minutes!"
"You wait for 'em, Sly!" said Tennessee, "I'll tail 'em on foot and see what I can do to stop 'em!"
"Good luck, Tennessee!" said Sly. With that, Tennessee took off, following the stagecoach.
After tailing the stagecoach for a few miles, Tennessee held his position as the coach came to a stop at the road leading to Devil's Creek. He could see Toothpick saying something to Carmelita as the steer guard held her back. He could also see that she was tied up and unable to do anything. After a minute of conversation that he could see but couldn't hear, Tennessee saw the steer toss Carmelita in the stagecoach and release the brake!
"Dagnabbit…" he cursed, "Looks like it's all up to me! I'm coming, Miss Carmelita!" Tennessee jumped on the railroad running on the opposite side of the creek and began sliding after the runaway stagecoach. He knew the fence would keep the coach on the road until it reached the level crossing at the bridge. After that, it would plummet into the swirling waters of Devil's Creek. Tennessee looked to check the coach's progress and was shocked to see some jackrabbit guards on the coach; and they were launching stick of dynamite at him! "Tarnation!" he said, "Looks like it's time for some speed-shooting!" Drawing his gun, he shot down the sticks of dynamite, then took out one guard at a time. It was challenging, but he soon got them all. Once he had dispatched the last guard, Tennessee realized he was approaching the rail bridge that led to the other side and crouched down to gain some speed. Upon reaching the other side, he leaped onto the stagecoach and climbed into the window.
"GET ME OUT OF HERE…!" Carmelita screamed.
"My pleasure, Ma'am!" said Tennessee. He picked her up and leaped off of the coach just before it plummeted into the river; breaking up upon splashdown. "Whew!" said Tennessee, "Cut that one closer than a bush south of the border!"
"Let go of me, you creep!" Carmelita snarled. Shocked, Tennessee put her down and set about untying her binds.
"Whoa now…" he said, "Sorry about that. Just that I didn't want you to be smashed to pieces or drowned in the river. Anyways, I'm… OW!" He received a slap to the face.
"Don't tell me!" Carmelita said, angrily, "You're a Cooper!"
"Uh… that's right…!" said Tennessee, rubbing his cheek, "Tennessee Kid Cooper at your service, Miss Carmelita."
"Ugh…!" Carmelita groaned as she finished untying herself, "As if one Cooper wasn't enough!"
"Uh… Okay;" said Tennessee, "Well, the good news is we won't be out here much longer. If Sly and his gang…"
"WHAT?" Carmelita shouted, grabbing Tennessee, "Sly's here too?"
"I sure am!" said a voice. Carmelita and Tennessee looked up to see the truck approaching. Sly was waving, nervously, from the passenger seat. "Uh… Hi there, Carmelita…" he said.
"COOPER!" Carmelita screamed, "WAIT 'TIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU LYING, CONIVING BASTARDO…!
"Wait…!" said Sly, "I can… Urk…!" He was interrupted as Carmelita grabbed him by the neck and threw him to the ground.
"YOU LIED TO ME…!" Carmelita roared, "You made me believe you had amnesia just so I wouldn't send you to prison!"
"Okay, I admit it!" Sly said, frantically, "I lied! I lied because I love you, and I just wanted to be with you!" He rolled out of the way just before Carmelita stomped on his face.
"If you loved me so much…" said Carmelita, "Why couldn't you just tell me the truth?"
"Because I was afraid you wouldn't believe me, that's why!" said Sly.
"I thought you did…" said Carmelita, "But you just wanted to get out of paying for the numerous crimes you've committed your whole life long!"
"Okay… there is that…!" Sly admitted, "I thought we could put our professional differences aside and see if we could make it work!"
"Work out THIS!" Carmelita shouted as she drew her shock pistol. Suddenly, a whip cracked and wrapped around Carmelita's wrists before yanking her to the ground. Upon regaining herself, Carmelita looked up to see Neyla and the rest of the Cooper Gang looking down at her.
"I don't think so, Old Ironsides…" said Neyla, "No one threatens my brother and walks away."
"Neyla…?" Carmelita asked; her voice dripping with venom. "This raccoon… is… your brother…?" She was stunned and angered at the same time.
"Um… yeah…" said Sly, rubbing the back of his neck, "Turns out Neyla and I are half-siblings. Which makes the whole Clockwerk affair pretty awkward."
"Look, Inspector Fox…" said Bentley, "I know you must be pretty shocked at everything that's happened right now. Why don't you just… take a few deep breaths and try to center your thoughts…?"
"My thoughts are centered…" said Carmelita, "On taking you all in!" She rolled to the side and grabbed her shock pistol. But when she drew it, she was faced with Bentley aiming his dart gun, Murray pounding his fists, Neyla cracking her whip, Dimitri aiming his spear gun, and the Panda King aiming his fireworks launcher; all at her. Carmelita couldn't deny it; she was outnumbered and outgunned. "Fine…" she said, as she lowered her pistol, "You've got me…"
"Well…" said Bentley, a bit more firmly this time, "Now that that's settled, why don't you just tell us what happened." Carmelita sighed and said,
"After I failed to catch the no-good, lying raccoon, I went back to my original mission. I've been following the trading of artwork and artifacts on the black market for a month now; and when I least expected it, I walked right into the lion's den."
"You found the guys who were behind it?" asked Sly, "Right at the museum?"
"Yes…" said Carmelita, "It was Cyrille Le Paradox."
"The museum's curator…?" asked Sly, "No way!"
"Quit interrupting, Ringtail!" Carmelita snapped, "Anyway… he was unloading a cargo of precious artifacts that had been reported stolen from the Brazil's national gallery the previous week! I was in shock; sure the guy had done some time in his youth, but he'd been clean ever since; and Interpol had never even considered him a suspect."
"Boy…" said Murray, "No wonder you Interpol cops never get anything done." Caught with a fact, Carmelita sighed and said,
"Well… there were rumors about the source of his wealth, but nothing had ever been proven."
"Okay…" said Bentley, "So what happened next?"
"Well," said Carmelita, "I had my pistol at the ready, but I choked; and then his goons had me covered!" She paused; hanging her head in shame before continuing, "The next thing I knew, I was thrown into some big machine and landed in this dustbowl!"
"Yeah, about that…" said Sly, "This is… kinda why I stole from the museum."
"Oh, really…?" asked Carmelita, turning to face Sly. "Alright then, Ringtail… enlighten me." Sly took a deep breath and said,
"Just a week ago, Bentley and Penelope came to me with an urgent message. See… my ancestors wrote down all their greatest accomplishments and skills in our family book. But they had discovered that the writings were literally vanishing right off the pages."
"Something like that could only be created by a disturbance in the space/time continuum;" Penelope explained, "If we were going to fix the damage that had been done, we would need to go back to the time of the writings in order to set them… well, right."
"It was just sheer luck that I had been working on a time machine;" said Bentley, "But… since I had to get it ready in a hurry, I had to take a few engineering shortcuts."
"Fine…" said Carmelita, "But what does that have to do with stealing from the museum?"
"Everything, actually;" said Sly, "The time machine needed a physical object from the time we wanted to travel to; otherwise, it just wouldn't work." He sighed, and rubbed his shoulder, uncomfortably. "Carmelita…" he said, "I NEVER wanted to go back to thieving. I NEVER wanted to ruin things with you. But… If I didn't steal that dagger to activate the machine, I might have vanished from existence." For a full minute, there was silence. Then, Carmelita spoke.
"Cooper…" she said, "As much as I hate to admit it, your half-baked alibi actually makes sense. But that still doesn't change the fact that you lied to me for over a year."
"I know…" said Sly, "And I'm sorry I did. I should have just told you the truth." Bentley then interrupted and said,
"Look, this is big, and everyone's got some issues to work out. But for now, I think we should get back to the hideout and plan our next move."
"I think that's a right smart idea, Bentley;" said Tennessee, "The chow's on me tonight!" Most of the team got back in the truck, but Carmelita stayed for a moment. Sly turned back to her and said,
"Look, Carmelita; like it or not, we're all in this together now. If this Le Paradox guy sent you here, he's not just stealing treasure. He's intent on wiping me and my family off the pages of history." He walked back over and took her hand. "Help us to save my ancestors, and we'll help you take down Le Paradox." Carmelita looked up at Sly, then groaned and said,
"Just my luck… having to run with a bunch of thieves to catch another thief." before getting in the truck.
"Hey;" said Sly, smiling, "You know the old saying." He climbed back in the truck as well, and the whole gang headed back to Cottom Mouth Bluf.
Carmelita's been rescued and is now on the team…!
But can the gang stop Toothpick from erasing Tennessee's legacy…?
Answers incoming… in Chapter 7!
