The Origin Point

Mind of Steel (鉄の心), Heart of Iron (鋼の意志)

Or, more accurately,

Heart of Iron (鉄の心), Will of Steel (鋼の意志): " A True Hero of Justice ("Emiya Kiritsugu") "

Tetsu-no-Kokoro, Hagane-no-Ishi


Heaven's Feel, Day 9 - After Shirou chooses not to stop Tohsaka Rin from killing Sakura ("Hero of Justice" Ending)

He hadn't stopped Tohsaka.

He had no right to.

Tohsaka was correct. As a puppet of Zouken, Sakura had to be put down in order to save the innocent people of Fuyuki City, and prevent any unreasonable tragedies from occurring again.

Emiya Shirou could not deny that.

No, the ideal known as "Emiya Shirou" could not deny that.

...But Sakura had over heard them, and she had run away.

And once he knew that, the person known as Emiya Shirou chased after her.

He embraced her, he hugged her, and he apologized, for everything.

He was sorry that he didn't stop Rin. He was sorry that he was going to let her be killed. And most off all, he was sorry for denying her, for never noticing or understand her pain, and suffering.

He cried. And so did she. They stood together, in the rain, weeping in each others' arms.

"Senpai..." Sakura asked, "If I became a bad person, would you punish me?"

"Yeah. I'll punish you. As many times as it takes."

Sakura smiled, warmly, with tears down her cheeks.

"...But, Sakura. Even if you become a bad person, even if nobody else in this world will accept you, or forgive you..."

Shirou embrace Sakura even more tightly.

"At the very least, I will."

Shirou looked Sakura in they eyes, holding himself to that promise. Sakura looked back, tears welling up with in her again.

"Senpai..."

Shirou embraced her, and kissed her, deeply.

And so, they went home.

[]

Days passed in the blink of an eye, and the Holy Grail War progressed on further. The shadow had only spread its reach and grown more ad more voracious.

Shirou came back from his meeting with Zouken.

He felt sick, to a degree he'd never felt before.

He knew Sakura was the shadow. But he wanted to deny it, to pretend it wasn't true.

But he couldn't keep it up any longer.

Sakura was the shadow. That much was undeniable now.

Shirou felt like he was going to throw up.

He couldn't deny it any longer. The more he waited, the more he delayed, the greater the number of innocent victims would.

His mind flashed back to that fire. The screams, the helplessness, the terror.

Emiya Shirou felt sick.

But it was time to make a decision.

[]

Night had fallen, and he had come to Sakura's room.

Knife in his hands, his will was still wavering, unsure of himself.

Once again, the image of the fire from 10 years ago suddenly came to him. That horrible, dark, terrifying fire.

The crying, the screaming, the helplessness.

It was too much for him to bear.

He couldn't let something like that happen again...

He couldn't!

The existence known as Emiya Shirou could never allow for something that to happen again.

...Even if it meant killing the person he treasured the most.

Once again, Shirou could bile building up in the back his throat.

...But he suppressed it, and pushed on.

He hardened his heart (鉄の心), and reforged his resolve (鋼の意志).

He entered Sakura's room.

She was looked like she sleeping. But both of them knew she wasn't.

He approached her...

And gripped his knife, tightly.

He raised it above his head, prepared to swing down.

And he swung.

...

...But he couldn't bring himself to do it. His knife stopped just before it could stab into Sakura.

That was what the ideal known as "Emiya Shirou" should do, but the person known as "Emiya Shirou" couldn't bring himself to do it.

He felt tears coming up on his face, but he pushed them down.

"Sakura..." He breathed, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"Senpai..."

Sakura's eyes flittered open, no more need for either of them to pretend any more.

She shook her head.

"It's not your fault, Senpai. I've become a bad person, Senpai..."

Tears were starting to fall down her face, as well.

"You need to stop me, Senpai. Before I hurt even more people."

"Sakura..." His voice was wavering, "But, I..."

Sakura shook her head again. "Senpai, you've come here to do what you need to do."

She looked at him, her eyes pleading him.

"Please, senpai. Put an end to me."

He took one last look at her.

"Sakura..."

He caressed her cheek, gently and warmly.

"Senpai, I believe that you can do it. That you can become a hero of justice. So, please..."

Her voice was quivering and her body was shaking.

But even, so placed her own hands around Shirou's, and placed them over her neck.

"Please, senpai..."

Shirou's heart felt like it was breaking, and his face and grit teeth reflected his pain.

But, he did. He gripped. And gripped. And gripped.

"I'm so sorry, Sakura."

He couldn't help the tears from falling down his face now.

He could still vaguely hear her voice.

"I...forgive you...Senpai..."

His tears wouldn't stop.

"...And...no matter what..."

With his hands, he could feel her running out of breath.

"...I'll always...love you..."

His could hear the last of her life leaving her.

"...Senpai..."

She had gone completely cold and limp.

It was done.

Sakura Matou was dead.

Emiya Shirou had no crossed a line that he would never be able to come back from.

He had killed his heart, and steeled his mind (will).

(鉄の心, 鋼の意志)

No longer a human, but a living ideal. A living (dead) testament to Kiritsugu's ideals.

A killing machine with a Mind of Steel (鉄心) and a will of iron (鋼意志).

He was no longer Emiya Shirou.

He had become his father.

He had become Emiya Kiritsugu.

...

He killed Matou Zouken.

He killed Kotomine Kirei.

He killed Ilya von Einzbern.

He killed Tohsaka Rin.

He won the Holy Grail War, and destroyed the Corrupted Grail.

...

And he continued to kill, and to kill, and to kill, and to kill.

Killing without end. Killing without pause.

If it was for the sake of Humanity, for the Human Order, there was nothing he could not and would not kill.

And so, he killed.

And he killed.

And he killed.

And he killed.

At some point, he contracted with the World, and become a Guardian. But even then, what he did after death was no different.

He fought, and killed, and killed, and killed.

There was no end to it. He found no pleasure in it. But it was the only thing he knew how to do. It was the only thing he could remember how to do. No, it was the only thing left that he could bring himself to do.

It was the only ideal now left to EMIYA Shirou. He knew no other.

And so, he continued to kill.

Without end.

Without pause.

Without hope.

Without love.

And so, he continued on, down a road without salvation. Walking endlessly down The Path of Heretics (魔道)...


鉄の心, 鋼の意志

Mind of Steel, Will of Iron (鉄の心, 鋼の意志): EMIYA Shirou ALTER

END


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Author's Notes:

If you don't remember the context for this, go through a bit of Heaven's Feel again. Particularly, the amazingly animated second ufotable movie is really good, if you can't be bothered to go through the visual novel again.

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Important Translation Notes:

Also, just fyi, 鉄の心 is mistranslated as "Mind of Steel", but more accurately, it's "Heart of Iron".

鉄 is Iron, not Steel. Likewise, 鋼 is not Iron, but Steel.

"心" is obviously Heart, not Mind (though you could argue otherwise, but it's "Heart" in both the literal and metaphorical sense in Japanese, similar to how it is in English.

Translating it as "Mind" actually doesn't make much sense, as the Japanese language has its own words to refer specifically to the mind.

Going along with the mistranslation, though,

鉄の心, 鋼の意志 = Mind of Steel, Heart of Iron

But more accurately,

鉄の心, 鋼の意志 = Heart of Iron, Will of Steel

(Also, though a person's will is more strongly associated with their mind in English, note that in Japanese, a person's will is more strongly associated with their heart.)

The word for "will" () in Japanese, literally has the word for "heart" () as it's bottom half.

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So, the True Title is more like:

Heart of Iron, Will of Steel (鉄の心, 鋼の意志)

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Symbolically, it's also a fitting title, since He Forges his Will of Steel out of his Heart of Iron, creating his Steel Will (Sword) out of his Iron Heart (Unlimited Blade Works, his Internal World and his blacksmith's forge).