A/N: After rewatching TheSlap video, Cat's Random Thoughts: Swivel Chair, I literally couldn't help but think that she was so baked LOL
It was also clearly filmed by someone else, and like, come on- who else would she be smoking with? So anyway, here's a one-shot in which Cat and Jade get blasted and build a chair.
Disclaimer: If I owned Victorious, it'd be more like Skins: The Musical
2nd Disclaimer: I am not promoting underage smoking/drinking! Please wait until you can legally smoke/drink before you actually try it. But coming from someone who is of age and, um, well, *experienced*, this is how I think the gang would've been if the show originated on like, TeenNick or something.
"No, you don't understand. It's the coolest chair I've ever seen! It spins for however long you want it to! I could just get dizzy whenever I want!" Cat informed Jade with the widest smile as they sat beside each other, waiting for class to begin. While it was only a chair, Cat had been raving about it to her friends for weeks, ever since she ordered it from IKEA. Jade couldn't really empathize, but she did understand the girl's enthusiasm. She'd been using some random old dining chair for the desk in her room for years.
"You're always dizzy," Jade replied without missing a beat. Jade thought that if she kept rolling her eyes at this rate, they'd never stop. Cat's face fell.
"Rude," she remarked. Jade knew she was only pretending to be offended- at least mostly anyway. Changing the subject, as she could sense Jade's growing exhaustion from so much chair talk, Cat asked, "Are you still coming over this weekend?" They'd been hanging out more frequently ever since Beck and Jade split a few months prior.
"I mean, yeah. Do you still want me to?" the raven-haired girl asked hesitantly. In a similar fashion to Cat raving about her new chair, Jade had been raving about her new bong. It was a huge solid black glass bong (about as tall as the length of Cat's arm) with very faint, almost invisible outlines of butterflies all over it. In the dark, however, they glowed blood red. Jade had convinced Cat weeks ago to try it out with her after it arrived, to which she agreed pretty easily.
"Yeah defo!" she answered enthusiastically. Cat assumed that most people she knew would be shocked to find out that she smoked weed (even though it was only every now and again), and it was a correct assumption. But she didn't understand why it was so surprising. People were weird. They'd either insult her (however unintentionally) by telling her she looked and acted high while she was sober, or they'd insult her (usually intentionally) after finding out, saying something along the lines of, "Man, you're so stupid normally, I'd pay money to see you stoned." That'd usually be followed up with, "We should totally hang out and smoke together sometime," as if she'd be interested in being high with someone calling her dumb the entire time. People were so weird.
She only ever smoked with Jade really, and rarely at that. Sometimes she would with Beck, Andre, and the rest of the group too, but usually, it was just her and Jade. That was when she felt the comfiest in her altered state of mind. She remembered when Tori first found out around a year ago, and how caught off guard she was.
4/20/2012
outside
- Jade
kk! coming!
- Cat
The redhead looked at herself in the mirror and applied the finishing touches to her makeup. Satisfied, she grabbed her bag and rushed as fast as she could downstairs, out the front door, and into Jade's car.
"You excited?" Jade asked with an abnormally genuine smile. She couldn't help it, she loved smoking with Cat. Not just because it amused her how the girl was able to become even ditzier, but because the higher Jade became, the more Cat's ramblings made sense. She also had a higher "Cat tolerance" when she was under the influence in general. She didn't mind all the hugs, cuddles, or anything else Cat did that would normally piss her off.
"Yeah!" Cat answered enthusiastically, then continued in a less confident tone, "Well, kind of. I don't know. I don't like it when people make fun of me."
"No one's going to make fun of you, it's just our friends. Well... and Trina," Jade reassured. No one wanted to invite Trina, but she was the only one able to provide the group with alcohol, due to her blackmailing a college student into buying her Tequila. This was, of course, in exchange for her no longer lying to people about dating him.
Around twenty-five minutes later, they reached Beck's house. His parents were conveniently out of town for the weekend, so they were able to party in his parents' basement (which his dad referred to as his "man cave") all night long. Everyone other than the Vega sisters had arrived, and Andre and Beck were already sitting next to each other on the couch, sharing a joint when the two best friends walked in. Robbie (who was sitting in a recliner to the left of Andre) didn't smoke, but still had a big goofy smile on his face upon seeing Cat. This probably meant that whatever edible(s) he texted her about taking earlier had already kicked in.
"Heyyy Little Red!" Andre gave her his signature greeting with his usual warm, friendly smile. Jade and Beck waved at each other before she walked over to him and sat on his lap.
"I love when you call me that!" giggled Cat.
As to not be outdone by Andre, Robbie greeted, "Cat Attack! Glad you made it," trying to sound as confident, enthusiastic, laid back, and cool as he possibly could.
Cat smiled back at him, almost sympathetically. "Oh, Robbie. That's not the same thing," she said while walking towards the awkward boy to sit next to him on the floor.
"Okay so... We're all here, so like, pass it," Jade said irately, eyeing the half-smoked joint in between Andre's fingers.
"Trina's not here..." Andre started.
"Neither is Tori," Beck finished matter-of-factly.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Jade began sarcastically, glaring at her boyfriend. "I didn't realize you missed her so much. Maybe we should wait for her to get here before we-"
"Here," Beck said with an eye-roll, passing her the joint, "You seem like you could use this right now." Jade took a drag.
"Right now? Ha, more like all the time," the dread-head chuckled. "'Cause you be freaking out like all the time, girl, I mean like all the time. And all the time I just think to myself, like, 'Man, Jade should smoke more so that she'd stop snapping all the time,' And then all the time Beck tells me-"
"Say 'all the time' again so that I can have an excuse to drown your keyboard," Jade growled in between hits. Cat chuckled while Andre uncomfortably squirmed in his seat, trying to position his head further back behind Beck's to avoid Jade's icy glare. Jade then passed the joint to Cat.
By the time Tori and Trina walked downstairs (Beck had left the front door unlocked ahead of time, as he knew that he'd be too glued to the couch to let them in later), Cat was coughing like crazy as the smoke struggled to make its way out of her lungs. After catching her breath, she managed to sing, "Hiii," while giggling.
Unphased by Cat, Trina walked past everyone and began pulling bottles out of her backpack, placing them on the table. Tori, however, stood on the final step with the most melodramatic (as Jade would put it) expression on her face, staring at Cat with her mouth wide open.
"Hey, Cat... watchya doin' there...?" Tori asked almost condescendingly.
"Ugh," Jade groaned, "It's like you've never been to a party before. Who invited her?"
"Hey, chill out," Beck said calmly with a dumb grin that he couldn't shake. "You're harshing my mellow."
"You're always mellow and I'm always harsh. You'll survive," she retorted.
Exasperatedly, Tori defended, "Geez, I'm sorry. I just never pictured Cat smoking... anything. Is she... okay?" Cat rolled her eyes as Jade and Tori had the same exchange that Jade had with everyone when they found out about Cat's "extracurricular activities."
"Christ, Vega she's fine. She's not seven years old and she knows how to handle herself. Just, like, sit down and try to do something that doesn't involve irritating me. Big ask I know." Jade shut down the situation as quickly as she could, and Tori sat down on the loveseat next to Robbie, confused as to why the redhead chose to sit on the floor. Cat appreciated it and flashed Jade a little smile. She always hated how her classmates made such a big fuss whenever she did the same things that her friends did without them batting an eye. She found it embarrassing, annoying, and most of all, not fair. She just couldn't stand how everyone treated her like some delicate, innocent child.
"Ugh, Cat, I don't want to build a chair, I want to watch you figure out how to use a bong," Jade groaned, dramatically rolling her eyes as her bubbly friend kept looking over the comically large piece of paper containing the instructions for her new chair. Of course, Cat's chair and Jade's bong just had to arrive on the same day. So, while Cat tried to make sense of the directions, Jade sat next to her, crisscrossed on the floor, pouting with her brand new, yet to be broken-in bong in-between her legs. She stared exasperatedly at the random pieces of metal nothings on the ground that were supposedly going to end up as one piece of functioning furniture, somehow.
"This is impossible!" Cat frustratedly cried out, completely ignoring Jade's statement, which she had probably never heard in the first place. She'd gotten used to tuning out her friend's constant complaining years ago.
"Wow! It's almost as if we should stop trying to do this and start smoking!" Jade suggested with a big, sarcastic grin on her face.
"Noooo," Cat whined, "I want to finish this tonight because I tweeted earlier that I'd upload a video showing it off on TheSlap later."
"Why would you do that?" Jade asked, somehow even more annoyed than she was five seconds before.
"Because I didn't know it had to be put together!" Cat justified.
Jade sighed, holding the bridge of her nose as if she was afraid to catch the airborne illogical ideas constantly emitting from Cat. "I-Did you think you would get a fully built desk chair from IKEA when you ordered it online?"
"Why else would it take them so long to send it if they weren't building it?!" Cat justified further, causing Jade to sigh yet again.
"Hey, I have an idea," Jade said with a devious grin, choosing not to engage with the nonsensical explanation provided by her friend.
"Ooh, whatty?" Cat asked with wide eyes, intrigued.
"Let's smoke first, and then build the chair," she suggested.
"That's a terrible idea," Cat protested and became immediately disappointed. "Then it's gonna take all night!" she pouted.
"Possibly, but I'll be less pissy about it and you'll be less frustrated when you don't understand what you're supposed to do next," the impatient girl explained.
"Yeah, but- well... actually that doesn't sound too bad," Cat agreed, smiling at the thought.
"Yeah, it'd probably make this whole thing somewhat bearable," Jade responded satisfied, knowing that she had won the argument.
Sighing in defeat, and grinning in excitement, Cat asked her best friend, "So, how do you use this again?"
