Author's Notes: Ahoy, all! Here's another chapter of the best Persona 3 fanfic on the net, fresh out of the oven. In the event that I'm not able to get the next chapter out in December, I wish all my awesome readers a terrific Christmas and a happy New Year. It's no exaggeration that my fan base is fantastic, and I thank all of you for the continued interest as we start to tie this baby up – 2020's the year this fic will conclude, with the fitting, well-deserved ending. And if I can get the next chapter out in December, you'll all get well wishes twice. Bonus!
But, no chapter would be complete without some replies to my awesome reviewers. Thanks again to my reviewers, and I'd love to know which part you all liked most in this one: Mitsuru or Ryoji.
emoprotagonist: Not at all, thank you very much for reading and reviewing. Things between Minato and Mitsuru have become a fair bit of fun to write, and I admit that the "collecting data" concept was odd even for me. But it was what the character wanted, and I'm quite happy with how it turned out. Data collection, after all, involves many iterations and variations, so... And Ken's arc was a joy to write, bringing everything together. Now I have to work at it so I don't lose my edge just because I've hit a high point, right? Thanks again for the review and the well wishes, and enjoy!
B1ackAshes: Thanks for the kind words. Making characters human feels like the core responsibility of a writer: if I can't do that, then why am I even here? Working through Ken's issues was a blast, right from the first point when I knew his problems were going to need more than a pep talk from Akihiko to get through. Tying it all together and bringing it here has been one of my favourite moments so far (though I already know what my #1 favourite part is, shame I can't share it yet), so I'm glad it's been so well received. As to the others, well, Ryoji's here front and centre so we can expect some fun with him. I hope you like the chapter, and good to hear from you!
Ramix: Thanks for the review! Ken's arc being tied up was a blast, leading up to the moment and tying everything together. And yep, Ryoji's here so things're gonna start heating up. How, you ask? Take a read and see. And no worries on the previous review; I'd much rather have passionate profanity thrown at me than apathy. Enjoy the chapter!
Without further delay, read on!
Chapter 21 – Esquive
Mitsuru shifted in her seat, watching the scenery fly by. The ride to Kyoto was as noisy as one would expect of a train full of high school students. Upcoming exams, the Lost, grades and assignments stopped being factors in the lives of her classmates. Instead they talked about landmarks to visit, places to spend money, and antics to get up to – usually involving members of the opposite sex. She was glad she wasn't chaperoning the trip, or she'd be spending all her time trying to rein them in. When there was a rare lull in the conversation, she could hear the rumble of discussion from the car where the younger students were, and she glanced back.
"Worried about Arisato?" Akihiko asked from his seat across from her.
Technically, there hadn't been assigned seating for the trip, so the odds were as high she'd be with him as with anyone else. In practice, no one was going to get in his way when he said he wanted to sit with her. She was grateful for that. Her absence from school had made her realize how little she related to the students in her own year. She'd always preferred to keep her social circle small – having a Persona and fighting Shadows practically required that she did – but after so much time spent with Takeba and the others, being around her classmates felt like she was even more of an outsider. She missed the careless enthusiasm of the younger students, the focus on dating and friendships rather than the dread of graduating and entering the workforce, or the intense drive for achievement and scholarships, that surrounded her right now. The youthful energy the others had was refreshing, and she'd grown accustomed to being around her friends in recent months.
Or maybe, as Akihiko was insinuating, she just missed her boyfriend after so much time with him.
Mitsuru hadn't planned on being on this trip to Kyoto. Minato-kun had won the others over and they were going with their respective classes, but Mitsuru had intended to stay behind and put a dent in her work with the Kirijo Group. But Abe-san learned of the trip (probably from Minato-kun) and suggested, in language as polite as he could manage, that she get away from Tatsumi Port Island for a while. When she said there was too much she had to do and tried to pull rank on him, the boot came down. "You're going, young lady, even if I have to pack your bags myself. Go, have fun, and don't even think of calling in until you get back." So here she was.
She shifted in her seat again, and Akihiko chuckled. "He'll be fine. If he hasn't killed Mochizuki yet, we should be in the clear."
Her boyfriend was in good company, both among SEES and his own friends. But his antipathy toward the newest transfer student was noteworthy. "I wasn't concerned about him," she began, turning to him, "but since you bring it up, I haven't seen him dislike someone so quickly before. Not since we met Aigis."
"Some people just rub you the wrong way, and I can see where that applies here. Mochizuki's loud and annoying, and that 'Onii-chan' stuff is getting old even to me. He can't seem to take a hint and he keeps going back to Arisato, which would wind anyone up. If he hadn't made friends with Iori, dodging him would be a lot easier." Akihiko smirked. "Besides, Mochizuki's chasing you pretty hard. Of course Arisato's going to take it badly."
True enough. The day she and Arisato went back to school, Mochizuki had found her on lunch break and tried to get her number. Mitsuru had firmly declined and brushed him off, but he was persistent: four rejections since then, each one more strongly worded, still hadn't dissuaded him. Arisato had resembled a thundercloud when he heard about it, and the times she'd seen Mochizuki near him, the air vibrated dangerously. "He shouldn't let that get to him. Mochizuki's an irritation more than anything, and it's not like I'll fall for flattery."
"It's a guy thing. Or maybe a thing for people in relationships. You don't like it when other girls hang around him, right?"
"That's different." She was allowed to be around her boyfriend and talk to him – propriety practically demanded it – but those other girls, short skirts and makeup and heavy perfume, "accidentally" brushing up against him and conveniently asking for help with homework, they had no right to the same privileges. "It's not the same thing at all."
Akihiko smirked harder. "Of course. Anyway, don't worry about Arisato. He's tough. Something this normal won't get to him."
"You're probably right." The thought of their destination crossed her mind. Kyoto was known for its retreats and tourist attractions. There were plenty of places where they could spend their time, and the notion of making some new memories with her boyfriend brought an unfiltered smile to her lips.
Akihiko glanced over, then looked out the train window. "It's good you can smile like that. Seems he's doing something right."
"We're doing fine."
"Good. I'd thought..." He shook his head. "Never mind."
"Go on," she prompted, leaning closer. This was the first chance they'd had to really talk recently, and she wouldn't pass it up.
He took a few seconds to respond. "I was worried it wasn't going to be enough. You know, with the fight and the door. It was the best I could do, but I had no idea if I was even going in the right direction. The last couple months... they were nothing like when we were doing this ourselves, were they?"
She knew what he meant. "No, they haven't been. When we first started, I don't think we understood how much we didn't know. And it doesn't feel like we're much further ahead now, does it?"
"One problem after another, no idea what we're doing," he noted. "It hasn't been a good look, that we're as surprised by some of this stuff as the new guys. Hell, we'd still be chasing our tails without Arisato. And we've lost a lot more than I figured we would."
That was an understatement. "Yes. We all have."
He let out a breath. "I guess my point is that it's easy to lose perspective. When it all goes sideways, how're you supposed to know what's right anymore? How do you know which direction the finish line's in when the rules get broken and the entire game has changed? We learned it's all way bigger than us, but the only thing we can do is just keep going. Will that be enough or not? Has it been enough up to now? How would we know, and who gets to decide?"
"It's frustrating." She'd thought over the same subjects as him, chewed on the same questions until they'd lost any form or substance at all, and she had nothing to show for it but sleepless nights.
"So what it comes down to is, after all that... Thanks. Thanks for coming back and getting better. When I took Arisato on, I didn't know what was going to happen. I was fighting blind and hoping for the best, and it didn't seem like things could get any worse, but they could've. They really could've, whether I did something or not, and that wasn't easy to deal with. But that was still all I could do, if that makes sense."
She knew he was being discreet because of the students around them. She also knew there were things he hadn't told them. He'd ridden the wave of victory when he'd come back from Tartarus, told his tale of Caesar and fighting Thanatos, but she knew there were points missing. His description of awakening his new Persona had the right details she expected, and was missing parts that she knew were being omitted. He was keeping something to himself, probably something personal, and she felt like it had to do with her and the others. It was what prompted him to push her and Minato-kun together, despite how he otherwise ignored anything romantic or emotional. He played that up as just being her annoying best friend and partner, but he was smart enough to let people believe that while he watched, and oftentimes suffered, from the sidelines.
She hated that she didn't know what he was hiding, but she knew better than to push him. Whatever awakening Caesar had involved, it was personal. More than that, she got the feeling something had scared him enough to fight Thanatos on his own, and that was a great fear indeed. She wanted to alleviate that fear, but Akihiko didn't operate like that. He knew she'd help him if he asked, and that was why he didn't ask. He'd fight through it on his own and come out on top, assuming he hadn't already. As aggravating as he was through the years, that's just how he was, and she wouldn't trade that for anything.
Mitsuru smiled and patted his hand. "I understand. Thanks for the push, and thank you for having my back. Then and now."
He looked over and smiled back. "Just don't let it backslide. I told Arisato I'd kick his ass if you got worse."
"Not necessary, thank you; we're doing just fine," she told him primly. They locked eyes for a moment and laughed.
She knew there were things they could talk about, even around normal students. The Shadows and the Dark Hour, Amada's new Persona and whether they could expect the others to become stronger (she wondered if Penthesilea could grow into something more. She couldn't imagine it, but then again, neither had Akihiko about Polydeuces), about Igor and Elizabeth-san and their convenient absence from the Velvet Room, or just the goings-on of the Kirijo Group.
But she decided to take Abe-san's advice. She was on a school trip with her friends, going to a city she hadn't been able to enjoy as a tourist before. She had the opportunity to be on vacation for a change, to let things move along as they would and to trust those around her to help her if something happened.
She looked out the window and watched the scenery go by, enjoying the sun and the silence with her friend.
Minato stretched and threw the ball again, and Koro bounded after it. They were in a lull in the school program, the tours of the first full day concluded. The students were making the most of their time in Kyoto: hitting up what shops they could, chatting with the locals, and generally doing things they hoped they wouldn't regret later. Minato had used the chance to take Koro out for a spell. He'd spent his time with his friends, reacquainted himself with the careless enthusiasm of most of his peers, and needed some space.
That Mochizuki had been hounding his steps since they got off the train added to him enjoying the solitude. Every stop on the tour, Mochizuki wanted something. Souvenirs for which he didn't have the money, photos that had to include Minato, gawking at the sights like some idiot tourist, and somehow still acting injured when his efforts with the girls came up empty, despite how anyone with a brain could see he wouldn't get anywhere. Minato had no idea where the guy found the energy – and the lack of self-awareness – for it all.
"Kyoto," Junpei said expansively as he came over. "Culture, food, beautiful women everywhere, and a school trip where we don't have to worry about school. What on Earth are you doing back here?"
Minato threw the ball for their canine companion, watching as he bolted across the inn's courtyard in a flurry of tumbling white. Ken and Koro had come with the class as a courtesy from Abe-san. It made the most sense to stay together – one person left in the dorm would have been at risk from the Shadows – and there was an unspoken agreement that Ken regaining his Persona had deserved a reward. And where Ken went, Koro followed, so the two had been in the same train car with Minato and his class.
It had made the trip interesting. Most of the girls wanted to play with Koromaru and admired how mature Ken was, and it drove Mochizuki positively mad to not be the focus of all that female attention. Minato had enjoyed the transfer student's pain more than should have been possible, and it almost made up for being stuck with him since.
"We're here with all our classmates," Minato commented, tossing the ball and making Koro jump for it. "I see them all the time as it is, so I know what they'll get up to. And I like the food back home."
"I thought you could eat anything."
"I can. But I do have preferences."
"And those preferences don't include girls dressed up in kimonos, talking with that Kansai accent?"
"I'm not a fan of the accent. And why would I look at other girls? If I chased after every skirt that passed by, I'd wind up like Mochizuki. I'd have to hang myself then."
"Come on, no one you've seen has caught your eye? The idols and singers in the park, the girls going to the temples or the inn workers, the dancers by the river today, no one?"
"None of them are redheads."
Junpei raised an eyebrow. "So if it was Mitsuru-senpai in a kimono, speaking Kansai, you'd be all over it."
Minato cleared his throat as the image formed in his mind. He remembered how she looked at the summer festival, and he wouldn't deny wanting to see her in a kimono again. And if anyone could make Kansai sound attractive, it would be her. "Sure. But that's the point: fancy clothes on some other girl don't do much for me."
"Okay, but even taking away looking at girls, you could be doing anything right now. Karaoke, arcades, museums or restaurants, anything. Why're you out here playing with Koromaru?"
"Because he likes chasing the ball. What about you? With all that food and culture, all those Kansai girls in kimonos and the dancers by the river, why're you here talking to me?"
Junpei scratched the back of his head, glancing around to see if there was anyone else listening. "I wanted your opinion on something. About work."
"Go ahead."
"I got to wondering about Akihiko-senpai and Ken, how they, you know, upgraded. Do you think we're all heading there?"
Minato collected his thoughts. "It's hard to say. On one side, it would make sense if we did. They had to come to terms with something in themselves and they became stronger for it. With everything we've gone through, I doubt we could keep going without some introspection, maybe getting through some of those things we didn't know were holding us back. On the other hand, I'm not sure everyone's going to." He threw the ball as hard as he could. "Koro, for instance, hasn't changed, and I don't think he will. If he's gone through what he has up to now and nothing's come of it, then he might be as strong as he's going to be. Which is pretty strong. Then there's Aigis. She upgraded because of Metis, like she absorbed her programming or something, but I don't know if she had the same change in perspective that Ken did. Maybe she's still got room to change and improve, maybe she doesn't."
"What about you?"
"I don't think those rules apply to me. I have no idea what the rules even are, but I'm sure I'm an exception. If I want something stronger, I'll get it on my own."
Junpei chuckled. "Makes sense that you're our leader. None of this stuff makes sense like we thought it would, and neither do you, but we follow you and we get answers, even if they're not answers we want."
"I wish I understood it. When we started, we thought there were clear lines for all this stuff. Now we find out that what the Kirijo Group knew is only half the picture, and we're the ones filling in the rest. It'd be nice to know if we're doing any of this stuff right."
"I hear you."
"Why are you asking?"
Junpei cleared his throat. "Got me thinking about what everyone's fighting for. Akihiko-senpai's born to win, and Ken had that stuff with his mom and Shinjiro-senpai. Yuka-tan's got her thing with her dad, and Mitsuru-senpai's gonna pull through what Ikutsuki did. Makes me wonder where I fit in."
"With Fuuka, maybe," Minato suggested. "If you think it comes from a past trauma to overcome, then she doesn't fit the pattern either. Doesn't mean she won't find a way to become stronger. Same as you could."
"I never thought about it before. Sometimes I don't know why I got a Persona in the first place. I mean, I wanted to be different, you know? Different from everyone else, special in some way, the hero who saves everyone and gets all the girls." He chuckled. "Same thing every guy says, I guess. Which raises the question of why I got it and every other guy didn't."
"You could have been normal and not had to deal with any of this. Do you miss it yet?"
"Sometimes. Might have been easier if things were different, and I definitely wouldn't have been short on sleep all the time. But put it all together, I'd still rather be where I am, even with all this shit going on. It means something, helping people when the cops can't. Same with you, right?"
"There've been some really bad days, I won't lie. Setting aside the stuff with my parents and 'Nako, I still don't know if 'normal' was ever a serious option for me. But this is where I am, and it's a net positive."
"Right. Things could have been different, but this is where we are. So where do I go from here? I don't think I've got the nagging problem like Akihiko-senpai did. He said his Persona changed when he fought you and Thanatos, right? What was he like?"
Minato grimaced. Thinking of Thanatos, and the mindset he'd been in when Akihiko-senpai kicked his door in, made him want a shower. "I don't think he had the answers either. Maybe it seemed like he did because you and I were so green at the beginning, because he always fights his way through things, but the stuff with Shinjiro-senpai and Ken hit him hard. And even if those weren't long-standing problems, I think they became that way when everything went to Hell after the last Shadow. It affected him, even if we didn't see it."
"Yeah."
"As to Caesar, it was like Akihiko-senpai was still there but more... himself. It's hard to say what the differences was because I didn't know he could change like that in the first place, but it was like he'd gotten brighter, I guess. Like he was burning cleaner." Minato shrugged. "I think it'll be different for each of us, if it happens at all. You'd know better what works for you than I do, but maybe there're things you aren't sure of, or something's holding you back from what you want. Only it's not obvious to you now. Like... I don't know, if the reason you fought with Yoshino was that you wanted to bring her around and protect her or something."
"Dead end there," Junpei said flatly. "She's with Strega and she's a murdering bitch, no way around it."
"Fair enough. My point is, I don't know how I can help you, other than to say you shouldn't think you've got it figured out because you have an answer. Might be that the answer changes, or maybe the question will and you have to find a new answer, or that question was the wrong one to ask right from the beginning. Or, and I'm just thinking of this now, you have an answer that doesn't make sense because you don't know what the question is yet. Either way, it could be a huge change or just a shift in perspective with something small, or something you hadn't thought about before or took for granted." Minato sounded like an idiot, trying to explain this thing with no solid point of reference, something they didn't completely understand in the first place. He wondered if this was how the others felt, trying to understand and categorize his abilities and role in the Dark Hour.
"Perspective," Junpei mused. "Glass half full instead of half empty?"
"Something like that, yeah. Or maybe just getting a different glass or changing what's in it."
"Pretty deep thinking for a school trip."
Minato held the ball up, made Koro sit attentively, and threw it again. "That's why I'm back here, playing with our dog instead of walking around Kyoto. It's normal for me."
Junpei grinned. "I guess it'd have to be, but that's no reason to stay that way. Me and Mochizuki are gonna hit up the hot springs tonight. They have specific hours for the guys later on. Wanna come? Akihiko-senpai said he's interested."
"Not if Mochizuki's going to be there. Especially not in that case." Minato looked over. "Wait, hot springs on a school vacation? Was this his idea? Make sure you're clear on the times; he'll probably try to spy on the girls or something."
"What've you got against him?"
"Besides how annoying he is and how he hits on every girl in school?"
"Yeah, besides that. Lots of guys do that."
"And I don't get along with them either."
"Isn't it worth a try? Maybe try what you just said, about a change in perspective and looking at things from a different angle. Might be you'll see him differently."
"In an outdoor spring?"
"Never know. That change in perspective could come from anywhere, right?"
Minato sighed. Under every other circumstance, he'd have blown the idea out of an airlock and been done with it. But Junpei was a comrade in arms and a friend, and Minato couldn't talk about being open minded one minute then shut Mochizuki out the next. Much as he wanted to. "Well played."
"Thanks. I'll send you the details. See you tonight."
Minato shook his head and went to join Koro. At least the dog wouldn't corner him in a conversation. But after thinking about it for a minute, he conceded that it might not be so bad. Sure, Mochizuki would be there, but so would Akihiko-senpai. Seniority and a rep might keep the transfer student in line.
And it was just a bath in the springs. What's the worst that could happen?
He enjoyed Kyoto for the rest of the day, taking pictures and seeing the places the tour guide recommended, and a few places that were off the beaten track. He ate dinner early (and quickly, given how Mochizuki was blabbering about the dancers he'd encountered down by the river) and slipped out by himself. He'd get a head start on the hot springs, enjoy what he could before the others arrived so that if Mochizuki became unbearable, he could leave early and still say he was there.
After tucking his clothes into a corner of the cubby where no one would look, he slipped into the deserted springs and rested back against the boulder near the back. The sounds of the city were still all around him, but they were muted tonight. There was a hush in the air that eased his nerves and allowed him to relax. After so many months fighting and training, the hot springs were a blessing. The heat seeped into the thin scars on his arms, into the wounds he'd gotten fighting Metis, whether people could see them or not, and loosened the muscles he didn't know were tight. He hadn't known what a good soak in hot water could do for him – no surprise, given how he got stuck with cold showers back home. He leaned against the back of the boulder at the edge of the springs, lie back and relaxed, then began to doze. He'd have to thank Junpei for this idea.
Just inside the inn the other guys were walking toward the hot springs. Akihiko was looking forward to a soak, and tried not to roll his eyes too hard at Mochizuki's non-stop commentary.
"Do you think the hot springs are mixed? It's Kyoto, so maybe the rules are different here, right?"
"Rules are going to be the same everywhere you go," Akihiko replied. "Especially on a school trip. What you're thinking about, co-ed hot springs and walking in on the girls, that only happens in anime. And they know people will try it because of that, so they take precautions."
"Sure, but sometimes the guys get away with it. That's based on something, right? So there's a chance?"
"I'm kinda with Ryoji on this one," Iori put in with a grin. "Not like we'd wind up walking in on them or something, but isn't there a chance someone might make a mistake on the times?"
Akihiko shook his head. "There's a chance for everything, but it's not something I'd try. All those episodes wind up with the guys getting kicked out, by force, and getting grilled after. Anyone who thinks they can pull it off is just dreaming."
"You only live once, Senpai."
"Exactly: we're only alive one time. You know what Mitsuru would do to us if she found out we did that, right? Spying on her classmates when she's the president of the Student Council? Or on her if we get it wrong?"
Iori cleared his throat, his enthusiasm visibly waning. "Well... sure, but she might not know about it, right?"
"It's Mitsuru we're talking about. Are you going to take that chance?"
Footsteps approached from the other direction. As though the talk of the girls summoned them, Mitsuru, Takeba and Yamagishi turned the corner, towels and bathing supplies in hand. "Hey guys," Takeba greeted. "What's up? It's the girls turn right now."
Akihiko raised an eyebrow and pointed at the sign that said "Men." "Not yet, apparently."
Just then, the hot springs attendant awoke, checked the time, slipped out of her office and changed the sign to "Women." Akihiko looked at his watch; it was almost fifteen minutes past the hour.
"The times are posted in the brochure," Takeba explained, speaking quietly. "And it sounds like the lady working here is kind of old and slow, so the sign's not always accurate. That's what the other girls were saying, and apparently it happened last year too. Caused a big problem with the teachers"
Akihiko scratched the back of his head. "So that's how it is. Guess we'll try one of the other ones. Good thing we caught each other here, isn't it?"
Takeba nodded. Iori and Mochizuki shuffled.
"Have you seen Minato-kun?" Mitsuru asked. "He left dinner early and I haven't heard from him since."
"Not since dinner. He's around, I'm sure."
"Probably. Anyway, we'll take advantage of the hot springs before anyone else comes. Have a good night."
"Yeah, enjoy."
The girls went into the changing room, their chatter light and easy. Akihiko was glad Mitsuru was fitting in so well with them. He knew she was, but hearing it for himself was encouraging.
"Missed an opportunity," Mochizuki mumbled, looking after the girls.
"You mean dodged a bullet," Akihiko shot back. "I'm serious. Mitsuru's got a temper when it comes to stuff like that. You think she'd go easy on us even if it was a mistake?"
"Speaking from experience, Senpai?" Iori inquired.
"Happened once, back when it was just the three of us. I don't want a repeat performance, and she's gotten stronger since then."
"That sounds like a story," Mochizuki commented. "Feel like sharing?"
"No. The less said, the better." Akihiko nodded toward the other baths, still hot and convenient but not open air. The sign for those ones indicated it was safe – so did the brochure when he double checked – and no one would think to go to them first. "Since we're here, we may as well use those."
"Okay," Mochizuki murmured, looking dejected over the lack of opportunity for an "accident."
Iori leaned over and whispered: "Hey, if Minato left dinner early, and they just took the sign down, do you think there's a chance he went in early? I mentioned we'd be going in there, so..."
That had already occurred to Akihiko, and that was why he was leading the two away from the hot springs. "Anything's possible. I don't know if he is or not, but there's no way we can check now, is there? Not unless you want to go in after the girls and try to tell them, but they're probably changing already."
"Right, but... if he is?"
"That's why he's our leader: he'll think of something, or take one for the team."
"That's pretty cold, Senpai."
"There are some things I won't do, even for a friend."
Out in the hot springs, Minato rested and looked up at the stars. They were dim from the surrounding ambient light from the city, but he could still pick them out. It made him wonder if the dorm roof had a view like this. He'd have the see when they got back. Same with whether Tatsumi Port Island had hot springs or local baths; he could get used to bathing in hot water for a change.
He shook his head and moved around the rock, catching the sound of the door opening. That must be Junpei and the others. Minato was almost out in the open when he heard female voices and darted back behind the rock.
"A vacation's not complete without a trip to the hot springs," Yukari said expansively, her voice echoing around the place. "And we're in before anyone else."
"I heard some of the others were going to a karaoke bar and the all-night arcade," Fuuka commented. "That's probably where they are now."
The water rippled as someone entered the water, and a low sigh of pleasure rose with the steam. "This is wonderful," Mitsuru murmured.
Minato crouched behind the boulder. What were they doing here? This was the guys' time block, wasn't it? Sure, he hadn't double checked it with the old lady behind the counter, but she was sleeping. Those details became irrelevant in the situation of the moment, though. Minato sank deeper into the water and listened hard. If he was in this situation, at least he was alone. If Junpei or Mochizuki were here, there was no way they'd avoid being seen or heard. There wasn't that much room to hide behind the boulder, and Minato minimized his movements to avoid any ripples. He prayed they wouldn't come this deep into the springs; how on earth would he explain this when all he had to wear was a towel? There was no way the girls would listen. Even if he said it was a mistake, even if he could explain his side of things perfectly, they were probably on guard after Mochizuki had been hitting on them.
Small talk went back and forth among the girls, the subjects ranging from shopping to cosmetics to school. Minato only listened with half an ear, focusing on any hint of them moving around. He slinked to one side to accommodate for Yukari moving around, then glanced around to check his corners.
Before he could move back into cover, he caught a glimpse through the haze. And froze.
Mitsuru was wrapped in her towel, red hair tied up, dripping from the moisture. Both her eyes were visible, bright with laughter in the night's light. The steam softened her battle-hardened outline, the firm lines of her flanks and hips undeniably feminine. What few scars she had seemed diminished, either healed or outshone by the rest of her. The view held Minato in place. He'd seen her in riding leathers which left nothing to the imagination; he'd rubbed sunscreen on her at Yakushima, painfully aware of how that glistening skin felt; and he'd been her heated pillow for nights now, so he knew how she was put together. But somehow seeing her in a towel, enjoying her time with the girls, both distracted him from all the skin on display and emphasized it. He noticed the arc of her neck for the first time, the litheness to her figure, how even if she was taller than him, she looked so much more delicate. When she smiled, the springs lit up around her, and her hands and fingers seemed delicate – when had he ever thought they weren't delicate?
The others girls didn't even register to him. He saw only Mitsuru and forgot where he was or what he'd been doing a second before. By the gods, she was beautiful. He'd thought so since he'd arrived at the dorm, admired her and fought beside her, yet it felt like everything they'd gone through, before and recently, caught up to him and coalesced into this moment. He couldn't stop looking at her. He didn't want to.
Until she happened to glance over and saw him. A long second passed, and then Minato remembered just why he was hiding behind a boulder, in a hot spring, from his female teammates. He bit down a gasp, tried to sink away without splashing around, yet he knew he was caught.
She didn't recoil or scream. Her eyes widened and her hands went up to secure her towel, but she was otherwise silent. Her expression went from surprise and recognition to shock and indignation, then to a soft smile tinged with mischief. She floated over, a siren on the currents, and Minato sank back further, scuffing against the rock.
"Did you hear something?" Yukari asked, startlingly close.
Minato bit down a reply, trying to move without giving himself away and formulating a convincing excuse for when they saw him.
Instead, his girlfriend rode in to the rescue.
"That was me, sorry," Mitsuru commented, her eyes alight with humour, her smile telling him he owed her in a serious way as she held a finger up to her lips. "I stubbed my toe on something."
Yukari seemed to buy the explanation. Minato felt the icy prickle of his nerves subside a fraction, even though he was still cornered by his girl. But she turned against the boulder, opposite him, and kept the conversation going for a while longer before suggesting they head in. The timing was perfect; Minato's head was beginning to swim from the heat. He waited until he heard the door close firmly – probably a signal from Mitsuru – and he slipped into the change room, grabbed his clothes, and padded out through the men's room before anyone noticed him. He narrowly dodged a group of girls coming the other way and didn't even hear a laughing offer to join them. It wasn't until he was back in his room that he let his breath out, but he went cold when he saw the text waiting on his phone:
"I think you owe me an explanation. In person. Come see me after 10pm."
Instructions to Mitsuru's room followed. Luckily it was by the fire escape, so he had an easy time slipping past the hall monitors. He double-checked the room number – the last thing he needed was another careless mistake – and she let him in before shutting the door. The lights were down and she waited, listened for a few seconds, then pinned him in place with a look. Her arms were crossed and her eyes were stern. "Well?"
"It wasn't my fault but I'm sorry it happened." He'd tried to craft a proper defence, but he kept falling apart on the explanation. Talking to her now, even his meagre preparations were deserting him.
"You know how that makes you sound, right?" she asked when he gave his broken account of things. "You just happened to be there when the times changed? When the girls could walk in at any time?"
"I know it sounds like an excuse, but it's true."
"What if you'd been caught? If it had been one of the teachers in there, or some of the senior students? I don't think anyone else would have been as understanding."
"Probably not."
"Would you have looked at them, too? You might have had the perfect opportunity to spy on someone else in your class, or mine. Who would you have wanted to be there?"
"No one!"
"No one at all?"
"Of course not, I–" He caught the smile trying to spread on her lips, how she sounded like she was trying not to laugh. He bit back his frantic defence and replayed what she'd been saying, the look she'd given him in the hot springs. Then he looked at her and quashed his panic. She was in one of her nightgowns, but it was a bit shorter and softer than usual. Her hair was mussed, probably recently dried but she'd chosen to leave it like that instead of combing it to perfection. Her skin glistened, probably from one of her oils, and he processed the subtle perfume she was wearing.
He looked around and really looked. The lighting was low, her room was in order, and the futon had been laid out for two. There was a light incense in the air, and Mitsuru's clothing bag was in the corner by the table, like she'd tried to hide it in a hurry.
She hadn't been about to skin him, or even to make him grovel for forgiveness. She'd set him up. She'd planned him right into a corner and he fell for it all by himself.
He looked back at her. "There's no one else I'd rather have seen in the hot springs in just a towel," he told her, smiling at her growing blush. "The only person who makes that list is my girlfriend."
"No one? Not one other person makes that list except her?"
"No one. She's one of a kind, and no one holds a candle to her."
She sniffed, putting on the act of superiority even as her eyes went playful. "So long as you understand that."
He stepped closer, watching as her blush darkened. "I might forget from time to time, though. Could I get a reminder or two?" He stroked her side and she squirmed at a certain spot. He raised an eyebrow, not believing his luck. "Really?" He poked the same spot and she giggled reflexively, tried to get away.
The setting she'd laid, the heavy mood from a moment ago, all fell away. Minato had just learned that Kirijo Mitsuru – the Rising Star of the Kirijo Group, the ice-perfect Student Council president – was ticklish. She tried to twist away, but he caught her, then went for the same spot and started looking for more. She laughed uncontrollably and tried to find his ticklish spots in return, but he pushed his advantage until they wound up on the futon, next to each other. Her laughter was music, her face was red and there were tears at the corner of her eyes, and she looked happy, both her hands in one of his.
The moment was perfect. No interruptions this time.
He stroked the side of her face and she tilted her head up to meet him, and that was their first kiss. Gentle, warm, a bit awkward. There weren't sparks flying or suns exploding, but instead it was a sweet connection, like he was really meeting her. The warrior, the leader, the honour student, the business owner, the woman. She had always been there, behind all the accolades and under all that responsibility, and he was one of the rare few who got to see her.
They broke apart, barely separated, then smiled and tried again. She shuffled closer, pressing against him as he held her close, and time fell away as they gently explored this new territory together. When her hands went into his hair, he stroked her back and met her eyes. "We're in this together now, you know."
"We always were," she noted.
"Maybe, but I'm not giving this up." He indicated the two of them. "However things turn out, wherever we go, I'm in it until the end. No matter what else happens."
"So am I. I'm sure something else is coming at us, but I won't let you do it alone."
There were three little words in both of them, three words that had formed at some point in their relationship between the battles and the dates, amongst the shared moments and the heartbreak, but they were too fresh to say. It was too soon, even if the emotions were there. An unspoken promise passed between the two, that they would push forward at their own pace, and they wouldn't pass up on the opportunities that life gave them. Even without the words being said, the sentiment beat strong, and they both knew it was there.
She was about to speak, but yawned cutely into her hand. He chuckled, the mood settling into something more familiar. Still intimate, but not as charged. "Come on." He pulled her over to the pillows, settled her in against him, stroking her hair as they talked until she fell asleep. He followed her soon after, his nose in her hair, hand still in hers.
He was pulled awake hours later. He grimaced when he looked at the clock and saw the time. Comfortable as they'd become sleeping together, there was no way the teachers would accept them being in the same room. Even this close to the fire escape, he wouldn't get back to his room undetected if he didn't leave now. Mitsuru was soft and warm on top of him, and he hated that he had to leave. He began to slide out from under her, and he was halfway there when she stirred, blinking groggily.
"I have to go," he whispered, lightly kissing her. "I'll see you later."
She mumbled something that sounded like acceptance and let him go, though when he drew the blankets up around her she hugged his pillow, burrowing into it and going back to sleep. Minato watched her for a minute, making sure she was sleeping soundly and wishing he had a camera – this was a side of her he would never tire of seeing.
He slipped out of her room and used the stairs to get back to his floor. He stopped by one of the corner gathering places and looked out the windows at the moon. It was waxing again, he was sure something would happen when it was full. He pushed back any other thoughts of work for now; he was on vacation.
"Nice night," a familiar, unwelcome voice asked from behind him, "isn't it?"
Minato stiffened. Dealing with Mochizuki in the bright noise of daytime was one thing, but letting him sneak up on him grated Minato's nerves in entirely new ways. "I suppose."
"They say people's behaviour is influenced by the moon," Mochizuki continued, walking up next to Minato, surprisingly sober. "It makes sense, when you consider how other animals act and how we evolved. Packs and groups banding together for survival, either fighting together or running together."
"Some people more than others, I guess."
An uncomfortable silence stretched between them. Minato was tempted to go back to his room, but he was still in a good mood from being with Mitsuru. It wouldn't hurt to reach out, just once, just to say he did it. "Makes sense you'd be interested in that sort of thing," he offered. "The moon phases, that is. Your last name is kind of telling for that, isn't it?"
"It is an interesting coincidence," Mochizuki agreed. "If you have a minute, I wanted your opinion on something."
"I'm not an authority on girls or dating, so I probably can't help you."
"It's about something more cerebral than that."
Minato didn't believe Mochizuki could do "more cerebral," but he said nothing.
"The people in Tatsumi Port Island, the Lost. What do you think of them? Were they always like that or did something happen to make them into what they are?"
Minato bit down his knee-jerk response, the detailed explanation he'd heard and researched since he arrived. What a question to ask a hunter of Shadows. "You haven't seen them before, I take it?"
"Where I'm from, we didn't have them."
Minato chose his words carefully. "There are a few running theories on what's wrong with them, but it's still a mystery. Nothing really ties them together. They come from different ages, different parts of town, different walks of life, so it's hard to nail a specific cause down. The Kirijo Group looks after them as best they can. Sometimes they get better after the full moon passes, sometimes they don't, but no one's sure what happens to make them that way."
"I wonder what they were like before they were Lost," Mochizuki commented. "Maybe it was something that happened in their lives, something they couldn't cope with, so they ran. It would make sense; sometimes it's better to get away from the terrible things in life, isn't it?"
"You think they were running from something? And going catatonic is how they did it?"
"There's a lot of suffering in the world. If there were a chance to get away from it all, it might not be a bad choice; sometimes life is more than people can bear."
"Everyone's had a hard run, whether they talk about it or not," Minato commented. "If we all ran from that, we wouldn't have a civilization."
"Wouldn't it be better to not go through something that bad, though? Take your situation, what happened to your family. Something that terrible would change you, probably in ways you would never recover from or even be able to acknowledge, no matter how strong you are. If you've been hurt that badly, what could you do afterward?"
"I went through it, and I kept going. People change all the time, whether the experiences are good or bad. The alternative is standing in place and not doing anything, stagnating, and that's the same as being dead. It's a show of character to roll with the punches and get stronger, to grow from tragedy and make it into something." Minato couldn't believe he was having a serious conversation with the school's biggest flake, but then again, no one else was around. Maybe Mochizuki's overbearing pleasantness was an act.
"Is it worth it in the end though? What if you fail?"
"You sound like someone who's never gone through a break-up or gotten a bad grade. If you lose, you keep at it until you win. Things are hard, but they are for everyone. It's a test to see who succeeds, who can become stronger because of those problems and how they can grow, and then they can help others get through the hard times."
"But people can fail to get that strong. They might miss their chance to become stronger and never take it again, or they might not learn the lesson you're talking about."
"They might not. There are no guarantees, but that's life. Keep trying, keep learning, and either you'll get it right or you'll grow enough to get something else. Maybe even something you didn't know you could have, but it's there because you kept at it."
"The reward at the end. The temptation to keep going. You feel like it's worth the effort then, even for people who fail over and over? Even for those who might never learn or get better?"
"From where I stand, what I've seen? Yes. My answer isn't for everyone, but my worst times came from when I ran rather than from when I got up and tried again, no matter how hard it was."
"That's an interesting view. So much of it is based on having the right people beside you, the right help at the right time, the right opportunities. People aren't born into those opportunities, though. Given the size of the world, how distant everyone can be, isn't it more appropriate to say that they're alone by nature?"
"Someone could take that view, but they'd be missing out on the people around them who could help if they just ask, the people who care for them and who want them to do the best they can. No one is so unique that there's no one they can ever connect with. They can find their group, find the people who will help them succeed, and grow from there. It might seem special to someone on the outside, but successful people have suffered just as much as the ones who failed; they just kept failing until they got it right."
"That's a lot to think about."
"Why did you ask me in the first place?" Minato was surprised how easy it was to talk to Mochizuki. When he wasn't being an airheaded dolt, he was surprisingly deep.
"Your perspective is unique. You've been honest with me right from the beginning. It's something that's been on my mind. To fight against the tide like that, probably against all reason when it's easier to give up, that doesn't sound easy."
"It isn't. That's what makes it worthwhile."
"You have faith in people, but not just as individuals, but in groups as well. I couldn't understand why you got along with Akihiko-senpai so well – he's the definition of a lone wolf – but I think I see now." Mochizuki glanced over, his features aglow in the moonlight. "You've given me a lot to think about. If I can be honest, I've always been alone. Even around other people, it's been hard to really make friends."
"Junpei likes you."
"Yes, but I don't think he knows me very well. He enjoys the break from reality, I think. Something's weighing on him and he's looking for an outlet."
"And getting rejected by girls with you does that for him?"
"It might, though I don't aim to get rejected all the time, you know; I'm still new at these things."
"If you want to get better, then maybe you should try a different approach."
"I suppose so."
"It's not that important to you, is it? You try the same thing because you're not actually aiming to get a date. But apply your logic about running and failure: How badly do you want to succeed, if this is all the effort you're willing to put into it?"
"Maybe I don't, in the end," Mochizuki admitted.
"Sounds like you're giving up because it's easier than putting the work in."
"Like you put the work in with Mitsuru-senpai? She's very happy when you're around, and you are around her."
Minato's hands clenched.
"I won't bother her anymore. I promise. I mean what I said, and she's most beautiful when she's with you. If anyone else tried to go out with her, she'd never look that way, and then what would the point be?"
Minato stared hard, but Mochizuki looked unruffled.
"It still stands, though, that getting so close to her must have taken work and effort. Weren't you afraid of falling short of the mark?"
Minato scratched the back of his neck. Even without involving his dating life, this discussion was getting tiresome. "How we met and got this far, it's a long story. A lot happened, and I didn't think it would go the way it has."
"So you didn't even consider failing?"
"It's not about success or failure," Minato shot back, glaring at the transfer student. "Stop treating the end results like they're everything. It's about the work you put in. It's about having something you want, about people you love more than you love yourself, and about having goals that keep you going. It's about going for something because without it, you'd regret it or feel like it was a missed opportunity. Haven't you ever felt like that? Don't you want something out of this, out of life or school or this trip, so you can go the distance and try?"
Mochizuki tried to speak, but Minato cut him off.
"What are you willing to fight for? What makes your life worth living? What do you want out of all this?"
The transfer student looked stunned. "What... do I want?"
"Yes. What does Mochizuki Ryoji want more than anything?"
"I'm... not sure. I've never thought about it. Not in a serious way, at least."
"Why not?"
The answer took a while to come out. "My situation is complicated. I only have so long here before I have to move on, and when I do, there's a lot that will happen whether I like it or not. What I want doesn't factor in very much."
"Controlling parents? Business overseas? Whatever it is, you should figure things out. We only go around once; wasting your life on what someone else wants doesn't sound very fulfilling."
"Instead I should... do what I want..."
"Yeah. I can't believe no one's ever said that to you before."
The remark seemed to miss. Mochizuki looked up at the moon, quiet for long seconds and lit up like an angel without its wings. "It's strange. Things seemed simple before. They were simple. You've given me a lot to think about, and I appreciate it." Mochizuki smiled, seeming both familiarly boyish and unfamiliarly mature. "Thanks for your time. We should turn in before someone finds us, Onii-chan."
Mochizuki left. Minato watched him go, feeling like the discussion was left incomplete. The whole encounter felt surreal, like it had been a figment of his imagination, a feverish delusion and he'd wake up in Mitsuru's bed in a second. But he didn't wake up, so this had to be real.
"I hope you got something out of it," Minato muttered finally, heading back to his room to get to sleep.
