SPAMTON
Author's note: oop oh no oh no oh no oh no I relate heavily to Spamtom something I haven't felt in a long while oh no time to make bad fanart, do cringe RP's and join the fandom k bai
"FUCK!" Shouted the gremlin former big shot as he sat up within his dumpster house. "FUCK! IT SMELLS LIKE FUCKING SHIT IN HERE!" He punched the walls of his enclosure and then pushed open the dumpster's lid to crawl out. "FUCK! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCKING FUCK, WHY WON'T MIKE CALL ME?!" He fell upon his knees in despair.
Suddenly a concerned voice from around the corner chimed in. "Spamton?"
Spamton turned to see it was Blue Addison and immediately hissed at him before scuttling underneath the dumpster to hide.
"Spamton? It's me, Blue."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU BLUE PIECE OF SHIT! GO FUCK YOURSELF HARD UP YOUR ASS WITH YOUR FUCKING LONG ASS NOSE SHIT!"
Blue Addison crossed his arms in annoyance. "Jeez, I'm just checking up on you. You suddenly vanished after the queen kicked you out her place. I became worried."
"OH SO NOW YOU FUCKING CARE!"
"You're in a fucking dumpster! Of course I now fucking suddenly care."
Spamton hissed at him and crawled towards the darkest section under the dumpster.
Blue sighed and left a bag nearby before leaving. "I'll be back to check on you, okay?"
Spamton slowly crawled out from underneath the dumpster and cautiously sniffed at the bag. He tapped it quickly and ducked worried it might possibly be a bomb. Then he tapped it a second time realizing it's okay before he began to open the bag.
Inside the bag contained essential supplies, canned food, a can opener, water bottles.
Spamton choked up. "Gen-generosity?"
A letter was at the bottom. He opened it.
"Spamton, yes we were really shitty friends to you for ditching you when you suddenly became successful. It was petty and immature and yes for a while we held contempt towards you, BUT we care and became worried sick when you suddenly vanished after the Queen kicked you out. We just want you to be okay. I'll return once a day to drop off food and supplies."
Spamton started to cry and hugged the note.
Suddenly a blue duck walked by. "YO, IT'S ME BERDLY! CHECK OUT MY RIPPLING PECS AND PULSATING MUSCLES!" He ripped off his clothes wearing only a thong and began flexing. "I'M HOT AS FUCK, BITCH. SLAP MY ASS! NOELLE WON'T BE ABLE TO RESIST THIS!" He shoved his butt into Spamton's face. "AM I RIGHT?"
"OH SWEET FUCKING [[19.99]] JESUS ON A STICK [[with oreos]]!" Spamton screamed in absolute terror and crawled back into the dumpster to hide. "I'M [[ice cream machine not in service]]!"
Suddenly Kris walked by. Kris did nothing else but glare at Berdly causing the duck to shrink down in terror and swiftly walk away.
Spamton peeked out the dumpster and smiled after spotting Kris. He hopped out the dumpster. "AHH, A LIGHTNER! A [[most valued]] GOOD [[sap]]."
Kris only glared at him in response.
"Ahh" nervously spoke the gremlin. "A person of no words, I see! Say, let's make a [[BARGAIN]] deal!"
Kris only stood there glaring causing Spamton to tremble.
"Uh… can you get a floppy disk for me?"
Kris pulled out a floppy disk and shoved it at Spamton. "OH HOLY SHIT [[cungadero]] FUCK FESTIVAL [[Jon Arbuckle]] THAT WAS FAST WHAT THE FUCK! WE DIDN'T EVEN ESTABLISH A [[bargained]] DEAL YET?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?! [[Garfield]]! OH GOD FUCK [[alabama]]!"
Kris took a step forward doing nothing other than glare causing Spamton to step back.
"Uhh… I will just download myself into this floppy disk and need you to upload me into this big robot… thing?"
Kris continued stepping forward causing Spamton to back up into the dumpster to which he screamed and downloaded himself into the floppy disk to hide.
Kris picked up the disk and flew up into the air crashing into the robot they were assigned to insert the floppy disk into knocking down everything. They crammed the floppy disk inside the robot causing Spamton to inhibit the body becoming Spamton Neo.
"OH FUCK YEAH I'M BIG SHIT NOW!" He exclaimed as he woke up. "FUCK THESE WINGS ARE FUCKING COOL. HELL FUCK YEAH I'M GONNA BE BIG." He noticed strings holding him up and he frowned. "Shit what the fuck are these puppet strings." He spotted Kris standing and glaring and quickly changed back to his excited state. "YEAH, I [[manically]] TRICKED YOU, KRIS! IT WAS A [[scam]] TO DO ALL THIS SO I CAN STEAL YOUR… your"
Spamton became quiet and trembled as Kris continued to glare at him never speaking a word. "Uh… you know what? Can you… just put me back into the dumpster, please?"
Kris flew up to Spamton and sniffed at his face causing him to scream in terror before Kris grabbed him by the strings flying back to the dumpster. They held Spamton over the dumpster glaring down terrifying the gremlin before dumping him into the trash container. Kris flew back onto the ground, glared at him for several more minutes before walking away.
Spamton Neo laid in the dumpster shivering. "[[Good]] KID." He said nervously as he sat up to collect himself. "What a [[GOOD]] kid!" He realized his wings didn't work and did nothing other than take up a huge amount of space in his dumpster house. "GOD FUCKING ASS SHIT! I'M SO [[anus]] PISSED OFF!" He punched a bag of trash causing the bag to explode splattering garbage gunk all over him. "FUCK! FUCKING FUCK! [[help]]"
Blue Addison peeked into the dumpster. "Spamton? You… alright?"
"FUCK OFF, BLUE! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M SO FUCKING PISSED OFF THAT I CAN'T FIT ANYMORE IN THIS DUMPSTER SHIT AND THAT MY WINGS DON'T ACTUALLY WORK AND I'M COVERED IN GARBAGE AND DEALT WITH A SCARY KID AND A HORRIFYING BLUE DUCK THAT WANTED ME TO TOUCH HIS ASS?! I AM SO FUCKING SCARED!"
"Jeez, bitch." He dumped another bag of supplies. "I'll be back."
"GUESS WHO'S ALSO BACK?" Shouted Berdly as Blue walked past him.
Spamton curled up into a ball and sobbed. "I died. I died and I am in hell."
Berdly began ramming his butt onto the dumpster causing Spamton to scream in terror because he couldn't properly close the lid. "MIKE, WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?! MIIIIKE! CALL ME! [[help]]!"
TO BE CONTINUED?
Author's second note: I really don't know what this is or why
