SPAMTON 3

Author's note:
me: -depression sadness angst anger bad emotions etc.-
Spamton: -exists.-
Me: -relates heavily. bad feelings go away. now calls self Spamton. Is Garfield Spamton. Yum yum delicious Kromer lasagna. I live in a garbage can.-


Blue noticed Spamton had not crawled out his dumpster house in days. He felt bad for kicking him out and approached the dumpster holding a box that stated "SPAMTON FOOD". He shook it.

"Spamton!" He called while shaking the box. "Spamton! Look! I got you Spamton Food!"

Slowly the lid of the dumpster lifted and Spamton peeked out sniffing the air making muttering noises. "[[2019]] to which [[LIFE ALERT]] tortilla chip [[WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME]]."

Blue continued shaking the box as Spamton slowly slithered out the dumpster his wings scraping against the dirty aluminum walls as a discarded banana peel clung onto his hair. He crawled near Blue and hissed at him.

"Bitch." Scowled Blue as he threw the box of Spamton Food at Spamton's face. "Enjoy." He walked off.

Spamton opened the box and began inhaling the contents. "YUM YUM DELICIOUS KROMER. [[FUGI MAMA]]!"

Suddenly Kris walked by. Spamton went silent in the hopes Kris wouldn't see him out in the open and slowly made his way over to the dumpster to hide. Upon carefully lifting the lid to crawl inside Kris was within the dumpster glaring at him.

"SWEET FUCK [[19.99 plus shipping and handling]] JESUS TAP-DANCING UPON [[superevilgenius corporation]] AND I NEVER [[WANT TO SAVE MORE ON YOUR MORTGAGE WANT TO SAVE MORE ON YOUR MORTGAGE]] HOLY FUCK OF A SHIT [[I suffer]] AND FURTHERMORE [[HEART ATTACK]] WHY THE HELL OF [[IT BURNS OH GOD IT BURNS]]— "

Kris interrupted him with placing a finger onto his mouth. "Shhhh." Spoke Kris.

Spamton backed away. "You… you want some deals?" He held up useless garbage. "Bargain… prices?"

Kris snatched one of the useless items, tossed Kromer at Spamton's face and walked off.

Spamton nervously picked up the Kromer and jumped back into his dumpster shaking. "Am I just a side character in a video game?" He went into an existential crisis before becoming disrupted by a knock at the top of his dumpster lid.

"Bitch, open up!" Shouted Pink as he pounded the lid of the dumpster. "Bitch."

Spamton hissed and peeked out. "WHAT?!"

"Jeez, bitch." Scoffed Pink as he folded his arms. "Fine, I'm not telling you what I was going to say."

Spamton closed the lid and returned back to sulking in the garbage.

"HEY!" Shouted Pink. "You're supposed to want to know whatever I was going to say!"

"NO."

"YOU'RE MESSING UP THE STORY."

"NO."

"THERE WAS AN ACTUAL PLOT ABOUT TO HAPPEN HERE THAT REQUIRED YOU."

"NO."

"Bitch." Pink walked away.

Suddenly from outside the dumpster a voice sang, "THE GAMEBRO IS HERE AND HE'S GOT THE GAMES! ALL YOU OTHER LAMEBRAINERS BETTER FEEL THE SHAME!" The side of his dumpster began receiving a series of aggressive thuds to which Spamton realized it's Berdly once again slamming his butt into the walls. "HE CAN BEND THE RULES, HE'S TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL AND HE'S GOT JUST A FEW CHEAT CODES FOR YO—"

Spamton jumped out the dumpster screaming in terror and ran off to find Pink realizing that anything else is better than being around a horrifying blue duck. "PINK! [[help]] I CHANGED MY [[BILLY MAYES HERE]] A FAKE [[JAMAICAN]] TOOK EVERY LAST DIME WITH THAT [[SCAM]] WAS A REFERENCE TO [[MISS CLEO]]. I WILL [[hyperlink blocked]]."

Abruptly Spamton tripped and fell on his face to which Blue was nearby and walked over. "Spamton, we can't understand whatever you are trying to say NOR IS IT FUNNY. EVER."

Spamton remained on the ground. Several cats had been chasing after him enticed by the strings hanging off him. "What did Pink want to say?" He muttered, his face still planted on the ground lacking the will to look up.

Pink popped out from behind Blue. " OH, SO NOW YOU WANT TO FUCKING KNOW WHAT I HAD TO SAY!"

Blue was startled. "Pink! What the hell? Where were you hiding?! How did you get there?!"

"IT'S CALLED BITCH POWER. Bitch. A BITCH IS AROUND, I APPEAR."

Blue sighed.

"I want to know what you were going to say." Spoke Spamton finally lifting his head.

"WELL TOO FUCKING BAD, OUTFIT STEALER!"

"You going to tell me?"

"WHY SHOULD I? NO ONE IS EVER SUPPOSED TO WEAR THE SAME DRESS OR OUTFIT AS I! THAT IS A MASSIVE CRIME!"

Blue covered his face in embarrassment. "Pink just wanted you to stand outside watching through the window as he throws a 'SPAMTON EVICTED AGAIN LOL' party, which I am not going to be a part of."

"BLUE, YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!"

Spamton remained on the ground and began to slowly pull himself back to his dumpster as the cats played with his strings.

Blue walked over to Spamton and lifted him up onto his back. "Here, I'll help you."

"Thank you."

After a few minutes Blue returned Spamton to his dumpster and then shooed away Berdly. "Okay, well… see you tomorrow, Spam."

Spamton frowned as Blue walked away. He was about to close the lid of the dumpster until he heard heavy breathing behind him. He turned around and shrieked in terror discovering Kris was there.

"HOLY FUCK CONGA AAAAHH! [[Heart attack.]]" Spamton jumped out the dumpster and flung useless garbage onto the ground then went to cower against the wall. "HERE, JUST TAKE THEM! IT'S A SPECIAL [[DEAL]] EVERYTHING MUST GO!"

Kris teleported out the dumpster directly in front of Spamton and silently glared at him for an uncomfortable amount of minutes before sniffing him loudly causing Spamton to scream. Kris tossed Kromer into his screaming mouth and then took the useless items before exiting.

"Yum… yum… de-delicious Kr-Kromer?" He nervously ran back into his dumpster and shut the lid shuddering at everything that just happened.

TO BE CONTINUED?

Author's second note: I don't know what this is or what the plot even is