Chapter 116 Quarter Finals
After arriving at the next room, they find Charlotte and Saphira.
Charlotte: Nothing over here either. (Notices Ash and Cal) Oh, you're out too. Took you long enough.
Cal: Sorry?
Saphira: We expected you to be the next anyway.
Charlotte: Yeah, those girls are cute and all, but let's be real, they were never going to win.
Saphira: More importantly, did something happen to them after the match?
Hardy: OI! (Rushes in) You guys see what happened?! It was the same for you all too, right?!
Charlotte: All flicker, no ticker?
Hardy: Yea! Can we do something?!
Charlotte: There's nothing to do. I jumped straight through S% l!&. No response, no anything. Kinda shocked me though. Whether that's metaphorically or literally is up to you.
Ash: How about my Dad? Or #$e+
Ash then realizes that for some reason, he can't remember his brother's name, and he realizes how bad this has been.
Hardy: He hung back to talk to #$e+. Made him promise not to be too long though, so no sweat about that.
Cal: I'm not sure that's the main reason we'd be sweating right now.
Saphira: Another concern: There's no exits from this area either.
Charlotte: We just checked while you all were taking your time.
Saphira: And if that's happening to every loser...
Hardy: This sitch's a whole lot more messed than we first thought, huh? Man, I feel bad about pressing the matter against that kid and S#*r). Maybe we shoulda come to a draw?
Cal: Terra said that if we didn't fight seriously she'd do something to us anyway. I suspect it wouldn't be too different from the outcome the losers got.
Hardy: Then what are we supposed to do?!
Saphira: Start by not asking stupid questions. There is no "supposed to" in this situation. Don't act like this is a prewritten scenario with a scripted, guaranteed outcome. Decide what you want to do, and do it. That's all there is to it.
Hardy: I already know what I wanna do. I wanna save Aya!
Saphira: And just how do you plan to do that?
Hardy: I'll take down everyone in Team Meteor!
Charlotte: That's nice, but nobody still with Team Meteor is even here right now since we can't find or get to Cuckoo McAnnouncerFace. So, are you going to mow us all down just to get out of here and save your precious damsel? Is she really worth that much more to you than all of us are? I'm almost hurt.
Hardy: Oi, lass, it ain't like that. I made a promise that I'd save her, and I'mma stick to it no matter what! If you got a better solution, let's hear it!
Charlotte: Hah? A better solution? Sure, I've got a better solution. How about my sis and I just beat you all and move on with it? As long as we're together, none of you stand a chance. And frankly, it's not our business what happens to you. Saphira's more than capable of taking Team Meteor apart herself. And I just gotta be there to see it.
Hardy: You sure you ain't gonna fall off that pedestal you put yourself on?
Charlotte: Maybe if you make me.
Hardy: What's your deal?
Saphira: This is normal for us. We're used to being alone against the world. Our strength has always been our ability to have each other's backs when the world turns on us. And the world must always keep turning.
Cal: Maybe it would be better to calm down before we get into all this?
Charlotte: I'm perfectly calm. In fact, I'm enjoying this. This is the most excitement I've had since I got to see the Doctor up close and personal under the lens of a cigarette burn. You wouldn't take that away from me, would you?
Then the last ones to enter are Titania and Florinia, which means Julia and Amaria lost.
Charlotte: Oh, so it was you two after all. And I thought it was gonna be the others. Guess you win.
Titania: You can keep your opinions to yourself.
Charlotte: You bitter? Or was that your version of a polite greeting? It's so hard to tell with you. No wonder your girlfriend got the wrong idea.
Titania: Ex.
Charlotte: Yeah, I guess someone who was just reduced to a static image would only qualify as an ex, huh?
Hardy: Were you always this catty?
Charlotte: Pretty much. I had a reason to at least play nice before. But now? (Yells at Terra) Hey, crazy lady in the shell, you're still listening right?
Terra: YOSUP, da's right, I'm 4LLLLLLLweighs watching. Like Sandy Clause. or ceiling cat. my m1ddle name is "sees u when ur fappin'".
Charlotte: I'm getting bored. Can we keep going already?
Terra: CAN WE?! gee whilikierzz, that's like asking if water is wet! if p1kachu is an electr1c type! if t1ttyania's und3rw3ar drawer only has chastity b3lts!
Titania: You done yet?
Terra: nnnnnn, juzt a lil' longer, miztrezz... BUT OF C0000000000URSE WE CAN KEEP GOING. THE POWER OF CLOSED CIRCLES COMPELS YOU! bet u feelin' so compelled right now so compelled wild pokemon won't come near u ayyy lmao
Cal: You're... thinking of a Repel.
Terra: so compelled you're being l4unched forward by a spinning moti0n ayyyy lmao
Florinia: The aforementioned denotation remains in reference to the verb "propel".
Terra: so compelled you gon' d3scend a rock face using basic but effect1ve safety gear ayyyyy lmao
Hardy: That one's "to rappel"?
Terra: so c0mpelled you an unconsolidated sed1ment rich in bituminous JUNK an' primarily made of algae and dec0mp0sed fungi ayyyyyy lmao
Cal: Um...
Radomus: (Walks in) That would be "sapropel".
Terra: sheeit.
Radomus: I hope I haven't kept anyone waiting.
Terra: MY LOVE! BUT FORS00tH, NARY HAD I WA1TED HERE, 30N up0N EON FOR youwu, MY TRU3 LOVE TO RETURN. howz my gardevoir impression eh? ehhh?
Radomus: I'm afraid I haven't heard one, so I can hardly evaluate it. But surely we aren't here for party tricks and comedy.
Terra: yea but u still comic relief tho.
Hardy: You looked in a mirror lately?
Terra: NO! I HAVEN't! BECAUSE I'M MADE OF D1G1T4L. RAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRR! but dat means i ain' got cramps no more so B00Y4H B1TCH. NOT ZA P0INT. dis za po1int: . ooooooo so pointy. NAO THAT EVERYPONY IS HERE, IT's T1111ME TO D- D- D- D- D- D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D- D'ANNOUNCE TH3 N3XT ROUND. purrrrrliese churn yo attention to the screen in the middle of da screen.
On the screen, everyone realizes that they are actually fighting their partners.
Cal: We're... fighting our partners from the last round?
Terra: YOOOOOOOU GOT IT, D00D.
Saphira: You said this was a doubles tournament.
Terra: uh, ya? NOW IT's A DOUBLE-CROSSING TOURNAMENT. D1NG D1NG D1NG RAWWWWWRRRRR!
Florinia: Understood. (Leaves)
Titania is speechless, and Charlotte is cursing at the result.
Terra: ye, where yo tuff talkk at now, h0meslice?
Charlotte: Yeah, you got me. Truly, I could not be any more gotten than I am right now. As if. This just means I'll be counting on Saphira to KO everyone herself instead of with my help. Right? (Turns to Saphira, who is speechless)
Hardy: So then it's you and me, old man.
Radomus: I may be the oldest one here, but I assure you, I am as young at heart as any of you.
Terra: tell it to the c0urtszz, buddy
Cal: Well. I guess that's it for me too.
Ash: I guess so.
Terra: W3LL D0N'T JUST STAND THERE AND MOPE ABOUT IT, F0LKARONIS. TH3SE B4TTLES AIN'T GONNA FIGHT THEMSELVES. that'd be kewl tho.
Charlotte: After all, we have uncomfortable demises yet to rush to. Woo.
Hardy: You don't gotta sound so resigned to it. We all still gotta fight to hang in there!
Charlotte: Hello? You know who I'm up against? All I can do is resign, like, three times over. Same with all of you in the end, unless you find another exit. Or make one.
Saphira: But these walls don't so much as dent. We tried.
Terra: dese walls be stronger than st33l, 3v3n back when it st1ll resisted psych and gh000st. b4lance te4m a chunky th0t. but rly, you can't break th0se cuffs. they mistrezz's bezzzzt. jus' ask her. d33ts tho ain' no th4444444444444ng na0, who w4nts to lizz'n to my x nanu fanfic? IT WUZ A DARK AND H00RNY nite. TIRED FROM A LONG and HARD ;) DAY OF WORK BUSTING A NUT UP 0N TEAM SKULL, (Titania leaves) OFFICER NANU SENSUALLY STRIPPED OFF HIS UNIFORM, REVEALING HIS SMOOTH, LANKY B0DY B3FOrE ape-aggressing n2 his SHOWAA. (Saphira leaves) as the water poured over his chizzled 9-pack he reminisced about the good ol' days with his ex husband guzma (Charlotte leaves) (if u don't know who he is get da hell out of here!) as he f0ndly and f0ndilingly remembered the p4ssionate nights they shared 2gether, a pang of loneliness shot thru him like a well-p4ssed kidney stone. suddenly h1s sole roommate, Lt. Surge, kn0cked 0n the bathroom d00r with 4ll the enchantingly s3xy force of a seasoned rawrmy v3teran. steam thrust out like a newly freed erektion as nanu 0pened the curtain to hear his friend's d33p, raspy voice. (Hardy leaves) "Y0u almost done in there, h0ney?" m0aned Lt. Surge, "I need to... relieve mys3lf..." nanu couldn't h3lp but feel the scalding water of the sh0wer felt cold in comparrison 2 tha h33334t between his \n s... (Radomus leaves) wait guise (Cal leaves) guise wear u r goin' guise cum bak guise no GUISE. RAWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRR! shiiit. ok, maybe next r0und then, i guess. :[
Ash also leaves when Terra is spouting nonsense of the people from other regions, and he prepares his team as he is going to face Cal.
Terra: W3LCOME, LEDYBA, GENTLEMUK, 4ND NONBINACLE IDENTIFYING IND1VIDUALS, TO THE NEXT ROUND OF THE LABRADORRA GRAND T0URNAMENT OF that g00000d c00ch. THE WHEEL OF FATE IS TURNING! REBEL 2, FAITO! ON THE LEFT, HIS MONEY LAUNDERING IS S0 OUT OF CONTROL PEOPLE C4LL HIM UP FOR DRY CL3ANING, HIS H1STORY IS SHADIER THAN REB0RN'S GH0ST LEADER, IT'S 7 0'CLOCK AND HE DOES NOT KN0W WHERE HIS CH1LDREN ARE, IT'S RAWRDOMUS VAAAAN H4LEN!
Radomus: Yes, yes, you're very clever.
Terra: thx u... AND ON THE R1GHT! HIS S0NGS MAY BE EIGHT TRACKS BUT H1S MIND IS ONLY ONE! IT'S THE M4N WITH THE PERSONALITY 0F A ROCK AND TH3- wait shit that was the punchline um ignore that, CUZ IT'S HARD-ON ANDERSEN!
Hardy: Yo, old man. I know you got kids to look out for and all that. I feel bad for 'em too, but I can't back down from this one!
Radomus: That's just as well.
Hardy: Oi, Hatman! Don't tell me you're goin' soft now, mate! We both gotta fight our best for this one, you heard it?
Radomus: On the contrary. For better or worse, my reasons to fight only continue to compound. Nevertheless, I have a rather strong distaste for putting others in harm's way for my own purposes.
Hardy: Yea, but this ain' our fault. Blame the announcer wench!
Terra: escuze u. i am n0t just some WENCH. i am the WETTEST 0F WENCHES! AND I R3FUSE TO BE REFERRED TO BY ANY 0THER NAME. make it raiiin, b1111tch fill that field up wit dat sw33t, wenchy w444444ter. ok n0w stop that.
Then the first battle's field is Water Surface and the weather is rainy, but suddenly, the rain is off.
Radomus: I have no intentions of getting hung up on something as trivial as blame. I am only reminding myself of my past, Of a time when I was not afraid of what consequences would befall others as a result of my actions. It is not a time I hold dear, But whether it is right or wrong, those who are depending on me will require me to fight for them right now. It is, perhaps, a necessary evil of parenthood.
Hardy: It ain't evil. That resilience is what makes us human!
Radomus: You may be right. I see that, contrary to our overseer's comments, you possess quite a bit of your own wisdom.
Hardy: I guess even dumb rocks sometimes have good stuff in 'em, aye?
Radomus: Indeed. We would not be in this mess otherwise. But enough of that. Let us test our humanity against each other's.
Then the scene changes to the next battle, with Charlotte and Saphira.
Terra: M34NWH1L3, BACK AT THE RANCH DRESSING... IT'S A S1STER SMACKDOWN! A BELROSE BL0W-OUT B4TTLE! AN ALL-0RPHAN ENCOUNTER! C4N LITTLE CHARLOTTE SLAY THE DRAGON OF HER SISTER, OR IS THIS DRAG00N ABOUT TO BE DRAGGED OFF?!
Charlotte: This isn't going to be a match.
Saphira: Agreed; I forfeit.
Terra: O0000000000000H NO YOU DIDN'T, GURRRLLLLL. D1DN'T YOU HEAR WHAT W0ULD HAPPEN IF YOU DIDN'T FIGHT?! GIVE US A SH0W. OR ELSE. RAWRR!
Saphira: And just what is it to you?
Terra: it'z... everything... my whole life... has lead up to this moment... all i ever wanted... was just to see you fight more, saphira... all my time in circus was dedicated just to trying to be half as entertaining as you are, saphira... my love... won't you please do it? for me?
Saphira: No.
Terra: f*ck. if she's immune to my allure as a woman, what ever am I supposed to do?
Saphira: Answer the question.
Terra: I DON't WANNA! RAWWWWWRRRRRRRRR! ok. new pl4n.
Saphira: You wouldn't; that's in contradiction to the rules you've already established.
Terra: D0 I L00K L1K3 1 C4R3 4B0UT RUL3S T0 Y0U?! geez, millennials... i'm pers0nally offended that you would eveN SUGGEST th4t I could 3VER BE that KIND OF PERS0N. what do i l00k l1ke to you, fl0b0t? cr1nge. darkest, d33pest, m0istest cr11111111nge. if E1TH3R of you forfeits, the oth3r one will be pun1shed. s1mple, bizn1tch.
Saphira: No.
Charlotte: Don't pretend like I have a better shot at it than you do. This is the most practical approach. We aren't sure if the punishment will be different or worse, but we know what happens to the loser, so it's safer to fight. It's not complicated.
Saphira: This is wrong.
Charlotte: Everything is wrong. Don't let your sentimentality jeopardize this. You're the only hope I have for moving forward. It's been that way for years.
Terra: gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. so gay it made the field gay t00.
Then the field turns out to be the Rainbow Field for the both of them.
Charlotte: If you win, you can go on and save me. And if you lose, you save me that way. Assuming I make it out of the next rounds, anyway. Who else is in this, again? A Rock Type Gym Leader and Ash, who I already lost to once? Gotta say, my odds aren't looking too good here. And what if we both were to be stuck here? You know what we have to do.
Saphira is speechless, and the scene changes into the third battle with Titania and Florinia.
Terra: N3XXXT UP IN THE RAWRRRRRRENA! IT'S A S1STER SMACKDOWN! w8 i feel lyk i jus' said data. TH3 L4ST OF THE REM4INING ON-D1CKS TRA1NER SCHOOL S0R0RITY SHEB4NG (l1terally lmao) FACE 0FF FOR DOM1NANCE AND SURVIV4L.
Titania: Let's not waste another second. (Takes out Aegislash) It's time to kill the past.
Terra: OO00ooooh so D3SP3R4TE. i l1ke that in a w0m4n. ay bb, you ever heard 0f pos1tion 52 ?
Titania: Don't know it; don't care.
Terra: [oofs in esperanza] mai hart.,,, it's... br0ken... alm0st... as br0ken... as... y0u, AND ALS0 TH1S SH0rTCIRCUIT3D FIELD AMIRITE GUISE?! UP T0P.
The field is the Short-Circuit Field, much to their surprise.
Florinia: Very well; let us begin. Hypothesis: By merit of proven rank, subject's demonstrated ability may be abundant enough for conclusive success. Expected outcome: Unknown.
Titania: If you're counting on me to get sentimental and mess up, you've already lost.
Florinia: Potential confounding variables are by nature of their function recognized as possible variant factors, rather than a given condition.
Titania: You are aware that literally nobody likes you speaking like that, right?
Florinia: Efficient and clear communication is necessary for promoting proper understanding between individuals.
Titania: There is nothing efficient about that. It's the longest temper tantrum anyone's ever thrown. Please, for the love of anything in this world that may even be remotely considered holy, Build a little bridge, and get over it.
Florinia: Considering the excision of emotions to be a "temper tantrum" proves paradoxical in nature.
Titania: Not for someone who's aware of what led to that decision in the first place. And, just in case you forgot who you're talking to, I'm well aware.
Florinia: The referred-to events have definitively not been forgotten.
Titania: It shows. And that's exactly what I'm talking about. (Turns away for a second) You know why I did that, right?
Florinia: The reason stated was that the subject in question was unable to bear the pressure of emotional content in discussions. It was thereby actively suggested that this speaker emotionally disengage from the given social setting. This goal was achieved.
Titania: I told you to disengage from the situation, not from your entire range of emotions. Yes, during the times you shut down you put more pressure on me than a damn hydraulic press. But I knew how much time you were spending with Amaria, And it was clear that the thing dragging you down was just her eternally-sinking mood. You can't blame yourself for someone else's misery forever, But you sure were trying.
Florinia: This information is known.
Titania: Fine. And then what happened?
Florinia: After repeated confidences burdening you with the greater part of my emotional conflicts, you were overwhelmed and lashed out at me.
Titania: Wrong. I didn't just lash out from being overwhelmed. That was staged.
Florinia: You mean to assert that your prior emotional outburst was a calculated maneuver?
Titania: Yes. I wanted to solve the problem that you refused to. If you weren't the one taking on the brunt of Amy's emotional labor, then you would be happier. And consider this, o great calculator: If my goal in lashing out at you really was to relieve the emotional pressure on myself, it would have failed miserably. You backing off from Amy meant she had no one to turn to but me. For me, the situation either stayed the same or rusted over. Even if I couldn't help her, I could at least get you out of there. That's why I told you that you were too much, and that Amy and I were tired of dealing with you. But what's been done can't be undone. Only one thing can- Your godforsaken mannerisms. You have until the end of our battle, but that's the end of the line. Get your page number now, Because I'm closing this chapter.
Florinia is speechless about what Titania is talking about.
Titania: This is how the past should die. Draw your last; I've no misguided mercy for you anymore.
Then the scene changes to Ash and Cal, the final round.
Terra: AAAAND FOR 0UR 4rd ROUND 0F THE M4TCH, THE FLAMING FIST OF CHILD ABUSE, FAC3S OFF AG4INST... S4VE SCUM MCGEE!
Cal: It's been a good run, I guess. This might be a little silly, but... Well, I feel like I don't know anything about you. You just kinda showed up, and stuff started happening. But I feel like the world's gonna be in good hands if I lose. Obviously, we still gotta fight. But you've got my trust no matter what.
Terra: OK4Y NOPE NO MORE OF THIS SAPPY BUSINESS. WHADDO I L00K LIKE, A H3RACROSS?! YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYUCCK. EITHER K1SS OR GET ON WITH 1T ALREADY.
Ash: No thanks...
Terra: whassa matter, n33d me to set the mood? ;) aite, p1cture this... IT'Z A DARK AND H00RNY nite. TIRED FROM A LONG and HARD ;) DAY OF WORK BUSTING A NUT UP 0N TEAM MEATIER, Ash sensssualllly RIPPED OFF HIS UNIFORM, REVEALING HIS SMOOTH, LANKY B0DY B3FOrE ape-aggressing n2 his SHOWAA. AND TH3N SUDDENLY A M0THERF?CK1NG DRAG0N APPE4RED! an' it wuz all like, RAWWWWWWWWWRRRRRR!
The field is actually the Dragon's Den, much to Ash's surprise since it is suited for Cal's Fire Type Team.
Terra: w8. were da hec da dragon at. shiiiiiit dr4gon on the l00se. WH4TEVER, F1GHT!
Cal: I guess there's nothing else to it. Let's each do our best, To end this!
Cal goes for Magmortar first, while Ash goes for Kingler for the first one, Magmortar's Lava Plume deals more damage because of the field, but Kingler goes for Mud Shot, causing it to get slower, and in the end, it defeats Magmortar with the CrabHammer. The second Pokemon is Kommo-o, and it defeats Kingler with the Dragon Dance powered up Poison Jab, so Ash goes for Sylveon next, and it goes for Moonblast to knock out the Kommo-o.
The third Pokemon is Camerupt, and it goes for Yawn to make Sylveon fall asleep and then defeat it with the Earth Power. Ash goes for Floatzel next, using the water moves to change the field into the cave, and then defeating it with the Aqua Jet. Arcanine is next, and it goes for Outrage to defeat Floatzel, so Ash goes for Kingdra, dodging the Outrage and goes for Twister to make it flinch, and defeats it with the Hydro Pump.
The fifth Pokemon is Charizard, and with the Choice Band, it binds into Air Slash, so in the end, Kingdra still defeats the Pokemon with Whirlpool and Hydro Pump. The final Pokemon for Cal is the Mega Medicham, and it defeats Kingdra with Zen Headbutt, so Ash goes for Charizard as his final Pokemon, and finishes the Medicham with the Air Slash.
Cal: So that's it. Okay. I can accept that. I'll have to.
Terra: AAAAND OUR MATCH C0NCLUDES WITH \PN AS THE WINNER! W000000! AND WH4T AN UPSET 1T isn't.
Cal: Ash, I'm counting on you. Everyone is. But I have one favor. Please, find a way to save S#-
Just then, Cal is flickering like Eve and Lumi did, much to Ash's horror.
Terra: N44444444WH. nunadat. 4LL TH1S TALK 4B0UT SAVING PEOPLE IS AN 44444WFULLY BIG ASSUMPTION, I'NIT? BUT GO 0n, GO 0N, TH3RE's MORE BATTLES Y3T T0 FIGHT! there's 4444lways m0re battles left to f1ght. th4t's the way y0u like it, uh huh, uh huh. CH0W.
Ash: Cain, I promise that I'll save you too. (Leaves the arena with Pikachu)
And here is another chapter, this is long because of Terra's madness and also some character development of the gym leaders. I hope you like this chapter and we'll be going to the semi-finals in the next round.
