CHAPTER EIGHT: THE TEDDY BEAR
Kato knows that, by all technicality, she stole a bear. She found it a few months ago under the mountain blankets that she had formed in the Host Club. She also knows that, despite whatever Moriko is trying to tell her, finders keepers, losers weepers. She found the bear, it's hers now. It's hers. They can't take that away from her. She doesn't see how it's very fair when they can easily afford a new one. It's not fair, it's not fair, she wants to hiss and claw and do all the sorts of things that she knows will cause them all to go into hiding somewhere else – something she doesn't want to put on her sisters again.
It's all Tamaki's fault. He's the one that just noticed his bear is missing. It's Honey's fault too. He's the one that pointed it out in Kato's bag – it's obvious, he's always known that and has merely been waiting for the perfect moment to strike. It's Reve's fault too. She's the one who is just sitting there as quietly as Kyoya, just watching from a distance. It figures that she's not doing anything to defend me.
"I found it," Kato cries in her defense, curling herself around the teddy bear as she settles deep into the cushions of one of the sofas. The customers have long since been gone, leaving plenty of free space for her. "I found it so it's mine!"
The twins tsk at her behavior as Tamaki is torn between sobbing about his bear and screaming to get it back. Takashi and Honey seem to be on standby, wondering if they're going to be needed to take the bear back by force. Reve is sighing, shaking her head, but knowing that Kato won't listen to her, she doesn't try. Kyoya seems to be getting more and more fed up as this scene continues.
Moriko is very gently trying to explain things to her, but she doesn't want to listen. She doesn't see why her sister is so against her – she knows what it's like to hold onto everything you can because it's all you have. They have more money they used to due to Reve's brother, absolutely, but Reve has made it very clear that under no circumstances are they to buy anything that isn't necessary – its why their living space barely even looks lived in. It also means that despite having food and clothes and a place to sleep, everything Kato is grateful for, she still feels as if she has nothing to really show that she owns something. Having nothing in their living space feels as if it's temporary, and she knows that it is, but it means that everything there will be left behind in a second to go on the run. She just wants one thing – one thing – that she could take with her, something that's hers.
"I don't see why you're being such a childish, spoiled brat," Kyoya pushes up his glasses with a glare, "The bear is not yours and that is that. Now I do ask you to return it should we be forced to take it."
Moriko winces at his harsh tone and looks to Haruhi for help, yet they just shrug and shake their heads, stating that there is nothing that they can do once Kyoya has a say. She's the only one daring to get close to Kato, settling for on the floor in front of the couch that the Katojn has settled in. I have to keep trying, this is not going to end well with Kato's temper.
"Kato," Moriko speaks softly, "Sister. Please."
Their eyes met and Kato's heart aches, feeling her chest tighten as she realizes that even her own sister won't take her side. Her eyes look away. She can't stand looking into Moriko's desperate, pleading eyes. She can't stand the feeling in her chest either. Her face feels warm, hot to the touch. She's never been human enough to truly feel that shameful, weak embarrassment before, yet she wonders if this is what that is. She decides quickly that she doesn't like this feeling and instead of taking it in stride, she stands from the couch with watery eyes, a teddy bear tight in the fist she pulls back.
Takashi and Hunny move forward, prepared to stop any onslaught attack as Kato looks as if she's about to throw it with all of her might. They reel back in confusion when the teddy bear gently hits Tamaki before she runs out of the club room. Takashi is the one whose eyes follow her movements out carefully and unlike Hunny, he doesn't feel any sense of pride or accomplishment. He is glad that, in a way, justice has been served – Tamaki's bear is returned to its rightful owner – yet at what cost?
Despite how fast she leaves, everyone catches a glimpse of the way she cries.
The bear takes Tamaki off guard, and though he's thankful to have it back, he isn't sure how he feels about a girl leaving in tears over it. He knows what she did was wrong, but he doesn't think Kyoya is right either. He feels it, deep in his chest, that there is something more at play here than her simply being a brat. Kato's never acted like this before, in fact she is the last person he'd ever expect to cry or throw what can only be described as a tantrum. Over the past few months, she's never been the most open with her emotions. In fact, she's always avoided them the best she can unless food is involved. Kyoya would have complained, but she does do a decent job at entertaining her guests – even if it's in unorthodox ways such as showing them the proper way to throw a punch. She's always been too tough – no, that doesn't sound right. He takes a deep breath as he realizes that maybe – maybe – her crying in front of them, for as brief as it was, is the strongest thing she's done.
All of that, however, seems to go over the twins' heads as they're the first to speak.
"A bit over dramatic for a bear," Hikaru scoffs, crossing his arms against his chest, "I never expected her to be such a brat."
"And it wasn't even hers in the first place," Kaoru adds, leaning against his twin as he eyes Tamaki's bear.
Haruhi didn't expect Moriko to react, especially as fast as she did. She shoots up from her position on the floor and is on the twins fast, pushing them back with enough force to send them reeling backwards. Takashi and Hunny are quick to catch them before they hit the floor, but their eyes are wide with surprise. Just as no one expects Kato to cry, no one expected Moriko to react so violently either.
"You don't know," Moriko's hands form fists at her sides, her eyes bristling with tears as her shoulders shake with overpowering emotions. Her glare seems to be aimed at Kyoya as much as it is toward the twins. Something tells Haruhi that she reacted to the twins simply because they were closer. "You don't know anything, so don't you dare call my sister a brat!"
Hikaru recovers fast from her shove, glaring at her as he stands up firmly, not afraid to meet her gaze. "She's not even your real sister!"
"She is my sister," Moriko screeches, reeling on her toes to stand taller than the twin. Her voice shakes as much as her body. "My parents practically raised her! We came from nothing, together! What she did was wrong, but now she thinks I betrayed her -"
She takes a deep, trembling breath as she tries to control her emotions as well as her powers. She can feel the ground shake beneath her feet, the roots of the nearby trees threatening to burst forth from her anger. Her heart aches. She knows Kato is in the wrong, from taking something that isn't hers, but that doesn't mean she doesn't understand why she did it. It doesn't mean that trying to get her sister to give back what wasn't hers, wasn't absolutely wrecking. She feels Haruhi's hand on her shoulder and Reve stirring in her mind, trying to calm her emotions, and she isn't sure which actually worked the most, but she stands more firmly with a much calmer mind.
"My family used to be well off, so when my parents found Kato on the streets – we were both about five at the time – and she had no family, they took her in. " Moriko looks at them all evenly, the tears cleared from her eyes, but her voice still wavers from a raw throat. "And then my parents died. Kato and I found ourselves on the streets when were seven and we had nothing. We stole to survive, food and the such, and never had anything of our own. And when you come from nothing and find something that you can finally have for yourself, you don't let it go."
Her story's edited. There's no way to say that her parents were killed by hunters. No way to explain that by age seven, they were doing so much more than simply living on the streets. They were running for their lives until they finally got caught a few years later. They have come from more than nothing, they have come from bloodshed and torture. They have done nothing more than suffer for a majority of their lives. She knows that without Reve gently pulling the emotions in the back of her mind, she would be crying. It's thanks to Haruhi's comfort that she can keep her voice steady and have confidence in her words as she opens up her heart to the hosts.
She knows that Reve will not be too happy later about sharing this much information, but she sees understanding in Reve's eyes. She couldn't just stand by while the others were so happy to put Kato into this nice little label that they thought fit her, but people are so much more complex than that. People come in too many shapes and sizes to fit into a box. She can't just stand by and let them drag her through the mud either.
"I took them in," Reve steps forward, her face expressionless despite the way her eyes shine. "We found each other not too long ago and my family is well off, but thought it was best to send us here. They still send us the money to get the best education there is, but we're all still trying to… unlearn certain habits."
There's a grace to her words and Moriko tries her best to ignore the jab at Kato. Like Moriko, however, Reve tells the edited version – a version that will sell their story as actual humans. Like normal people. Though Moriko's not sure how normal even their edited stories are. Either way, everyone seems moved by their stories, Tamaki being the most open with bawling tears as he clutches his teddy bear tight to his chest. Hunny isn't too far away, holding Usa-chan close. The twins have the decency to look uncomfortable and a bit embarrassed about what they said, though Kyoya doesn't show any remorse. As Moriko looks a bit closer at everyone, her eyebrows furrow in confusion. She whispers to Haruhi, but Haruhi merely shrugs through shoulders in response.
"I think that was… admirable," Kyoya finally speaks up, pushing up his glasses, "Stupid, but admirable."
"Sometimes what may seem stupid, others see as achieving the impossible," Reve meets his eyes evenly, showing nothing but confidence in her words that, in a way, he can't help but be impressed by. He hums slightly, yet offers no reply.
Hunny sniffles slightly, "That's a good way of looking at it, Reve-chan."
Reve's lips twitch slightly, threatening to smile, yet she merely nods respectfully before standing at rest.
"Kato just wanted to have something for herself," Haruhi muses, "She probably took a liking to Tamaki-senpai's bear since she never had one."
"It certainly explains some behavior," Kyoya pushes up his glasses and Moriko wonders if he does it with his middle finger intentionally, "Studies suggest that children tend to have comfort items such as security blankets or a bear and need it to transition better into adulthood. Ripping it away too early can cause damage to the psyche, but never having one in the first place is sure to cause some behavioral problems and lack of mental growth."
Moriko wishes she could punch Kyoya without consequence for suggesting that Kato is as 'mature' as she should be when nothing in this club can be considered 'emotionally mature.' Kato may be a bit behind, but no more so than what's typical, which is more than she can say about some of the hosts. But she stays quiet and for a moment, everyone does.
"I have an extra," Tamaki speaks up quietly and more timidly than usual for him, "This is one is particularly special to me, and I didn't like that it was stolen. But I do have extra stuffed animals in the closet. I save them for gifts for our customers."
Moriko has to admit that she is a bit stunned at Tamaki's mature response to the situation and at what he's proposing. Even Haruhi seems fairly impressed, humming a bit to herself as she mutters that it's not a bad idea.
"You mean the ones you buy with the club's budget," Kyoya sighs, "And they're not gifts if the customers pay for them."
Reve can tell where he's going with this and the idea of buying something for Kato stirs a strange sensation in her chest, something she can't quite place. But she's sure that Kato will be more than grateful. Maybe so grateful that she'll -
"I'll cover the cost of it, Kyoya-chan."
Hunny beats her to it, causing her to blink in mild surprise at the young host who gives a large, kind smile. Her eyes narrow slightly, probing at the front of his mind, wondering just what it is that he's thinking. A mild part of her wonders if he's doing it on purpose, just to foil her plans to get into Kato's good graces. She relaxes when she sees that he has no intentions with Kato other than friendship and that he only offers this because -
" - Besides, Takashi has already taken care of it!"
She doesn't expect anyone to come after her. She hopes that someone will, like Moriko, but she'd settle for Reve. But she knows that the chances of anyone following her are too unlikely to truly believe.
She runs fast, but keeps Reve's nagging voice deep at the front of her mind and slows down enough to be passable as a humane speed. Still faster than average, but not fast enough to be unbelievable for a human. She sniffles and rubs at her eyes and wonders why she heeds Reve's warning to keep up the appearance fo being human when she doesn't want to be a human in the first place.
But apparently they do. They're so quick to forget what we've been through and shove the fact that we're not human behind. How can they move on so quickly? How can they reject that part of us - reject me - so easily?
She doesn't see what's so great about being humans. Humans are complicated, in their emotions and morals and complex laws and unnecessary 'education.' They're conceited - you only matter if you do this, act this way, make this much money. They're evil. They don't care about anything different than them. They've destroyed her home, her land, her people. They're vile, uncaring.
She's stupid for thinking anything different, even for a moment. She was beginning to think that maybe there was something to humans after all, but it's good to see that they're no different than what she thought.
It's starting to get too hard. Too hard to pretend. Too hard to care. Too hard to act like something she's not. She wants to go back. She wants to live again. She wants to run free.
Just as she wonders if maybe she could just run and never look back, she hits the railing of one of the school's balcony, a reminder that she's at least two, maybe three stories high. She could jump, grab onto the railing beneath her and the one below that and so on to slow her fall until she reached the ground.
She takes a step forward.
A hand on her shoulder stops her. Her nose is stuffy and swollen, but she can still smell the scent of musk, wood and a bit of sweat.
Any other day, she would've reacted violently. She would've yowled and clawed and thrown them over her shoulder and off the edge of the balcony as if they were nothing, just like she's always been to them. But her body is heavy. It feels like there are weights on her shoulder so heavy that if she jumped then she would have fallen straight down before she could react. Her face feels dry and stiff, but certain parts still twitch with emotion she doesn't know how to handle. Her hands fall to her sides and she realizes with a start that she's tired.
She's tired. She just wants to go home.
But it's not her sister or Reve that stares back at her, offering the comfort of home that she craves. Instead it's a man she hardly knows, staring at her not with the pity of a lowlife, but with the kind warmth of a friend.
He hands her a stuffed animal. Ironically, it's a cute stylized black cat with fluffy fur and a fluffier tail, with big bright green eyes. It feels soft in her hands.
"...It's dangerous to give this to me," her voice comes out coarse, her throat sore, "I might not give it back."
He smiles. She's never seen Takashi smile before. It feels more genuine than the other hosts' blaring grins that she had gotten used to.
"You don't have to. It's yours."
He wasn't sure what her reaction would be to his idea - anger, more tears, or something more violent. He came in prepared for the worst, prepared for her to hit him or scream at him, tell him to 'fuck off.'
He doesn't expect two, admittedly strong, arms to grab ahold around him and hug him tightly. He hears a soft muffled cry in his chest. He stiffens under her touch, but awkwardly pats her back in an attempt to comfort her. However, he lets out a deep, baritone chuckle that shakes his chest when he hears her muffled voice.
"If you tell anyone about how stupidly emotional I got about this, I'll hit you."
