The lucky ones

Disclaimer: They`re not mine. Not making any profit with them. Just having fun.

Author`s note: Obviously a tag to episode 11x12 "The lucky ones". Dialogue partly taken from that episode. Thought there was something missing, though. Also, the whole timeline of these past episodes doesn`t make any sense to me, so I`m operating by what I think should be right.

„Wait."

There was just something about her reaction, about her body language that makes him suspicious. She`s not surprised. Not really. She is usually a great actress, good at pulling off a show and deceiving people if she wanted to. But not with him. He`d been able to see through her act right from the start. And after spending almost ten years by her side he knows her better than anyone else. She couldn`t fool him.

Somehow, she was responsible for his "luck".

Dammit! What…?

"Did you…? What did you do?!"

Ezekiel had known right away that him suddenly being scheduled for surgery wasn`t just mere luck or divine intervention or whatever else Jerry called it. Of course, Carol had something to do with it. He really shouldn`t be surprised. But, dammit! How on earth did she achieve that? And why did she have to act behind his back? Against his will, Ezekiel is getting mad at her. Sometimes, this woman was just impossible. Did she even think about the consequences of her behavior? At least, she`s not trying to lie to him now.

"Hornsby owed me a favor."

Something inside Ezekiel just explodes. Ever since Tomi dropped the news on him this morning, he`d been tense. There were so many different emotions waring inside him – relief, guilt, fear. He`s been thinking about why this was happening to him over and over and now it was just enough. Maybe he was overreacting. Maybe it was unfair to be mad at Carol. But she of all people should know his values. He never thought of himself as someone better than others. Not even when he used to rule his own Kingdom. And certainly not now. Here he was just one of many others and he didn`t deserve any special treatment.

"It`s cheating! Why would you do that?!"

"Because I don`t want you to die?!"

Oh, no, no, no. She`s looking at him like he just said the dumbest thing in the world, hurt flickering in her eyes. Ezekiel sees it and it`s tearing at his heart but he`s too angry to back down now. She had to understand that she couldn`t just go and do whatever she wanted, regardless of others. Not here. Here there were rules and she wasn`t the one making them, even if that`s what she wants.

"Carol!"

She`s making a visible effort to remain calm. She`s trying to explain her actions to him – or rather justify them.

"Those lines are a lie. Do you think Pamela Milton would think twice before doing the same for her shitty son?"

Okay, so she had a point there. But that didn`t make it right. Taking a deep breath, Ezekiel tries to calm down. Screaming at Carol wasn`t right, either. He gets that she was worried about him, that she wanted to help him, and she did it the only way she could think of. But she didn`t know what he did.

"Have you been inside that hospital, Carol? Because if you had been, you`d see all those people. Suffering. Same as me. Waiting for treatment. Same as me."

His anger is gone as quick as it came. Yes, he was waiting for treatment. He was hoping to get it. But those other people, they`d been there long before him. Who was he to take away their spot in line? Their hope? Who was he to prolong their suffering? He hadn`t done anything to deserve it.

"You`re supposed to just die because the system is broken? Lesser men have been given more and done nothing with it. You are not a lesser man."

The sadness on Carol`s face is too much for Ezekiel. Yes, she is suffering, too. He had tried to keep his pain from her as best as he could, had tried to appear optimistic when in reality it got harder and harder with every passing day. That`s why he hadn`t told her about his unscheduled appointment this morning. For some reason, Ezekiel had expected some bad news.

And then he received the opposite. Hope was a possibility again. Ezekiel is staring at Carol, unshed tears glistening in her eyes. He feels his own tears welling up, quickly averting his eyes. He thought he was protecting her, but all the while she had fought for him. She hadn`t given up on him and she obviously believed that he deserved this opportunity. All of a sudden, he can feel her hands on his face, her fingers stroking his cheeks. Her familiar touch is soothing him, and he dares to look at her again.

"I do feel sorry for everyone who is suffering. And maybe what I did is wrong. But I am not going to apologize for it. I would always do it again. Because of all people in the world, you are the most important to me. I am not ready to just let you go. Not without a fight."

The tears that threatened to fall earlier, now spill over, sliding down Ezekiel`s cheeks. No, he wasn`t ready to give up, either. Not as long as Carol was by his side, believing in him. His arms reach out to wrap around her, pulling her against him. He buries his face in her hair, inhaling her scent as he waits for the tears to stop. Carol holds him through it, her own tears wetting his neck. She can only imagine what he must be feeling. But she won`t let go. This time, she is going to be the strong one and she will be by his side through all the pain and fear.

They stand there for long minutes, just holding each other, drawing comfort from each other`s presence. When she notices Ezekiel`s heartbeat calming down again, Carol softly disentangles herself from his embrace – just enough to be able to look at him.

"Okay?"

Ezekiel nods, some of his confidence coming back. "Okay."

Giving him a reassuring smile, Carol squeezes him affectionately. "Alright then. What did Tomi say?"

"Uhm" Ezekiel clears his throat "he said Friday morning 9 am. And he said no food, just water starting tomorrow morning."

"Oh, well." Carol chuckles. "You should eat something now then." Throwing a look over her shoulder at the burnt whatever it was that Ezekiel was "cooking" she adds "But not – that. Come on, I`ll cook us something edible."

That being said, she grabs Ezekiel`s hand and pulls him out the door, heading for her apartment.

"That was delicious, as always. Thank you." Ezekiel puts his fork down, reaching for the glass of water in front of him.

Carol smiles at him, gathering their plates. He hasn`t eaten that much, but she`s not saying anything. She knows that his medication is messing with his appetite and at least he ate something. She moves to get up to carry their plates to the sink, but Ezekiel reaches for her hand, stopping her.

"Carol."

She sits down again, looking at him expectantly. Although he is calmer now than he was two hours ago, Ezekiel still feels troubled. Of all the things that are going through his mind, one in particular is bothering him. And that he needs to settle now.

"I am sorry for screaming at you earlier. That – I shouldn`t have done that. It wasn`t right."

Carol shakes her head, squeezing his hand. During their marriage, Ezekiel has barely ever raised his voice at her. When he did so, it always was a sign that something deeply affected him, shaking him to the core. Carol wasn`t sure what exactly caused his outburst, but she is fairly certain that Ezekiel wasn`t really mad at her. More like mad at the whole unfairness of his situation. She could deal with that.

"There`s no need to apologize. You were upset. I get that it must have been a shock when you heard about the surgery unprepared."

Ezekiel stares at her, momentarily at a loss for words. Yes, it had been a shock. If he was being completely honest to himself then he had to admit that in the past couple weeks he had started to believe that maybe he wouldn`t get that surgery in time. When he first noticed the symptoms back at Hilltop months ago, he had simply pushed it from his mind. What was there to do about it anyway? Then, when against all odds they found this place, hope had started to bloom. Reality had hit him when he found out how many people at the hospital were waiting for surgery.

Now, Ezekiel hadn`t given up hope. Carol was back in his life, and he had sworn to himself that he would fight for every single day because of her. Because she was worth it, and she deserved it. But the pain was increasing lately, and he could feel the time slipping away. Fear had settled in his heart. When he heard the good news this morning, he wasn`t able to wrap his mind around it. Ezekiel knows that he should have been just happy. And a part of him was. But that thing about the bill bothered him. Told him that something wasn`t right.

The second he realized that Carol was responsible for his luck, everything just came crashing down on him. He had felt so guilty, like he was cheating on all these other people. Like he simply didn`t deserve to be on the lucky side.

"I couldn`t believe it. Like it was just too good to be true. And when you – all I could think was it`s not right. I don`t deserve this. And that scared me."

"Zeke."

Her voice was so soft. A caress. Carol reaches out, holding his much larger hand between both of hers. Leaning forward, she looks straight into his eyes, completely open, letting him see everything that she feels for him.

"You do deserve it. You deserve it more than anyone else in the world. And not just because I love you. You are the kindest, most compassionate man I`ve ever known. You`ve done so much good in your life and you deserve to get some of this goodness given back to you. And even if you may not think so now – this world still needs you. I still need you. Don`t feel bad about the chance you get. Just take it. Sometimes it`s okay to be selfish."

Ezekiel has no idea what to reply to that. Hearing Carol say that she loves him, that she believes in him and that she was willing to risk everything for him, it was more than he dared to hope for. He would take the chance that`s been given to him. For her. For them. For their fresh start. Even though he is aware that the surgery alone is no guarantee to survive. He is ready to fight. Raising one of Carol`s hands to his mouth, Ezekiel kisses it.

"Thank you."

Carol gets up and bows down to press a soft kiss to his lips, then turns around to gather their plates. She`s relieved that Ezekiel has agreed to the surgery, although she can tell that he is feeling nervous about it. He needs something to take his mind off it for a while, some distraction. While rinsing the dishes, she tries to think of something that Ezekiel would enjoy. She hears him pushing his chair back and a second later, he`s next to her, reaching for a towel to dry off the dishes.

"So" Carol smiles at Ezekiel "you wanna go see a movie? There`s one playing tonight, isn`t it?"

There were two movie theaters in the Commonwealth. Carol hadn`t been to any of them since she got here, but as far as she knows one was playing on every day of the week and the other one only on weekends. Back at the Kingdom, her, Ezekiel and Henry have always enjoyed their movie nights together. Maybe this will bring back some good memories.

Ezekiel is fully aware that Carol is trying to cheer him up and although he is not quite in the mood, he is willing to give it a try. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulls her against his body. It feels so good to be able to do this again. Carol hugs him back, looking at him with a hopeful expression on her face.

"I`m sure there is" he answers her question. "Though I am not sure which movie is playing."

"Well, we can find that out easily."

Twenty minutes later, they`re standing in front of the main theater, staring at the display that`s announcing the name of the movie playing. "Love Story" – yeah, that definitely hit way too close to home now. Shit. Regretting her decision, Carol purses her lips in annoyance.

"Sorry, this was a bad idea. Let`s just head back."

She turns to face Ezekiel, surprised to find him grinning at her. Well, at least he seems to have found his sense of humor again.

"That`s bad timing. But now that we`re here …". His eyes drift past her, so Carol turns her head to see what he`s looking at. The ice cream truck is parked a little bit down the street, halfway between the theater and the small park at the end of the road. Grabbing her hand, Ezekiel pulls her in that direction.

"Come on."

With an ice cream cone in hand, they`re strolling down to the park, sitting down on a bench under a now leafless maple tree. It was almost December and the temperatures have dropped considerably over the past two weeks, but they were still waiting on the first snow. They snuggle up close together, Ezekiel`s arm resting over Carol`s shoulder, enjoying their treat despite the cold.

"Mmmh, this is so good."

Carol closes her eyes, savoring the taste of her chocolate ice cream. She doesn`t mind the cold at all, she has always loved the winters at the Kingdom with lots of snow. Sticking out her tongue, she takes another lick of her ice cream, her eyes opening in surprise when she feels Ezekiel`s cold nose touching hers.

"Hey, that`s mine!"

Ezekiel leans back again with that adorable grin on his face, taking a lick from his own ice cream.

"Had to check if it`s really that good" he says, then holds his vanilla cone out to Carol for her to try.

She narrows her eyes at him playfully but leans closer to get a taste anyway. Also good, but not as good as hers.

"Not bad."

Ezekiel chuckles, bowing his head to capture Carol`s lips in a sweet kiss. He pulls away too soon, so she chases him, firmly pressing her lips against his. This kiss lasts longer, the flavors of their ice cream mixing with their own unique taste. When they finally separate, their cheeks are stained pink and not from the cold.

"Nice."

Carol moves even closer into Ezekiel`s embrace, content with being wrapped up in his arms. They finish their ice cream in silence, each lost in their thoughts. Ezekiel has recovered enough from the shock – and yeah, also the anger – that his unexpected appointment for surgery brought to him – enough to think about what actually was necessary to make it happen. Knowing his wife, he`s prepared for an answer he might not like, but he has to ask her anyway.

"So, how is it that Hornsby owed you a favor?"

Carol turns her head slightly, just enough so their eyes meet. Ezekiel raises an eyebrow, popping the last piece of his waffle into his mouth. Carol really wants to tell him. His outbreak earlier made her realize that keeping things from him – even if they were done with the best intentions – didn`t do them any good. She doesn`t want to have secrets from him, especially not where his health was concerned. No, scratch that. She doesn`t want to have secrets from him, period.

Carol licks up the last bit of her ice cream, staring at the waffle in her hands. She holds it up to Ezekiel, but he shakes his head. Hesitating two or three seconds, Carol then decides to toss it away. She`s never been a fan of waffles and there`s certainly some birds that will be grateful for it. Searching for Ezekiel`s hand, she takes it, making him wrap it around her middle. She really wants to be honest with Ezekiel.

"I – I brought him some wine."

Wine? Like, what? Ezekiel is a bit confused, looking at Carol with a somewhat bewildered expression on his face.

"Say again?"

"Yeah – you remember how there was this masquerade ball at Halloween?" Ezekiel nods, so Carol continues. "Obviously, Governor Milton expected some special wine for that evening and I – I just happened to notice that Hornsby was being reprimanded for bringing something that was not meeting her expectations. I just – I took advantage of that."

Of course, Ezekiel remembers that day. It`s been the happiest in a long while. He`s been excited and also kind of nervous ever since Carol showed up at the Commonwealth. He missed her badly and it felt good that she wasn`t being hesitant towards him. Quite the contrary. She often came to see him, wanted to know how he was feeling and asked questions about his treatment. It felt good that he could talk to her again, but deep down Ezekiel wanted more than just that. When he`d told her that he would always love her that wasn`t just a phrase – it was the simple truth.

That day – Halloween – he`d finally made up his mind to take a chance. He`d been waiting for a good moment (fully aware that he was running out of time). He didn`t want to pressure Carol in any way. But the way she`d been around him told him that she was feeling better now than some weeks ago back home. She seemed to have made her peace with the past. While he was working at the petting zoo that`s been set up for the occasion, he had felt her eyes on him more than once during the day. And not just because she was worried about him. No, he knew that look on Carol`s face, knew the smile and the faint blushing when he caught her. Ezekiel had known that this was his chance, and he took it. The outcome was even better than he`d hoped for.

Now he`s looking at Carol with a raised eyebrow, somehow amused although he`s still feeling a bit uneasy about the situation.

"That`s all? Some bottles of fine wine in exchange for a surgery?"

Exhaling a deep breath, Carol slowly shakes her head. "No. there`s been more. But –" she looks up at Ezekiel, her eyes pleading with him "nothing shady or anything. He`s sometimes asking me for advice or some small favors. It`s not hurting anyone."

Ezekiel has expected something like that. Shaking his head, he lets out a small chuckle. Well, that was his girl. He has always admired Carol for her bravery, her willingness to do whatever it takes to protect the people she loves. Oh, he knew she could be merciless if she deemed it necessary. And she was stubborn. If Carol had set her mind on something, she wouldn`t let it go. She`s been that way ever since he met her, he really couldn`t blame her for just being her – the woman he has fallen head over heels in love with so many years ago.

Taking her hand, Ezekiel raises it to his lips, placing a kiss there. "Thank you. Just – don`t get yourself into trouble over me, okay?"

Carol cups his cheek, looking at him with a sincere expression on her face. "I would get myself into trouble over you anytime. Because you are worth it."

Now, this was Carol`s version of being romantic and Ezekiel can`t help but find it totally adorable. Rolling his eyes in defeat, he cups the back of her head to place a firm kiss on her lips. Carol reacts immediately, grabbing his face with both hands, holding him to her as she kisses him back leisurely. For some precious moments, they forget everything around them, only separating when something cold and wet touches their faces.

Looking up at the sky, Carol holds out her hand, a broad smile appearing on her face.

"Snow!"

Looking back at Ezekiel, she watches some big snowflakes land on his head, a memory of her first real heavy snowfall back at the Kingdom flashing through her mind. Still smiling, she leans in for another sweet kiss, then gets up, grabbing for his hand.

"Let`s get home. We don`t need you catching a cold now."

Back at Carol`s apartment, Ezekiel briefly wonders whether he should politely say goodnight now and head over to his own place. It`s certainly not what he wants, and Carol seems to want him over with her, but still he doesn`t like to jump to any conclusions. The rational part of his mind knows that this behavior was ridiculous, but sometimes he couldn`t help it. Good thing that Carol makes it quite obvious what she`s expecting by simply walking into her apartment and leaving the door open for him to follow. Smiling to himself, Ezekiel shuts the door behind him, watching her hang up her coat and then head over to the bedroom.

Though, bedroom actually wasn`t quite the right word. The apartment basically consisted of one large room, with a small adjoining bathroom. It wasn`t the most luxurious in the Commonwealth, but it was cozy and better than his rather empty apartment. The costs for his treatment and medication had eaten up quite a bit of his income. Ezekiel didn`t mind. He didn`t grow up in a wealthy family and always had to work hard in his life for what he had. Living in the Kingdom had been good for most of the time, but they`ve had their struggles through the years and he could deal with some limitations. During the past four weeks, he`d come to stay more and more at Carol`s place anyway, although there were still days where they stayed apart.

Tonight, neither of them wanted that.

Hanging up his own coat, Ezekiel watches Carol undress, slipping into her night shirt. She had snatched one of his, just like she did when they first started sharing a bed together. Everything about her is relaxed as if they never stopped being intimate like this. It`s warming his soul that even after everything they`ve been through, the pain and heartache, she still feels comfortable and safe with him. Neatly folding the clothes she`d been wearing, Carol looks at him over her shoulder, a small smile playing on her lips.

"You wanna stay there all night?"

Without waiting for an answer, she steps into the bathroom to go about her nighttime routine.

Ezekiel walks over, slowly undressing as well and putting on the pj`s he left here a while ago. Just when he`s placing his clothes next to Carol`s on the dresser, she emerges from the bathroom again. Her hair is open now, falling in soft waves over her shoulders and back. She looks so beautiful, Ezekiel can`t help himself but to grab her around the waist, planting a quick kiss on her lips, before stepping into the bathroom himself. Once he`s done with his business, he crawls into bed next to her, naturally spooning up behind her. With Ezekiel`s arms wrapped tightly around her, Carol soon drifts into sleep. Ezekiel, though, has trouble finding rest, his mind swirling around the upcoming surgery.

Carol wakes up some time later, still long before the morning, her sleep interrupted by the subconscious feeling that Ezekiel wasn`t lying next to her anymore. Peeking over her shoulder, she can make his frame out sitting up against the headboard. She reaches for the bedside lamp, then sits up as well, regarding him with a worried expression on her face.

"Can`t sleep?"

"No."

"Is it the pain? Do you want me to get you something?"

She`s about to move out of bed, but Ezekiel takes her hand, shaking his head. "No, no it`s not that. It`s just – I`m scared."

He looks at her, the fear obvious in his eyes.

"The surgery?"

"Yeah. What if something goes wrong? If there are complications? What if I …" he trails off, leaving the words unspoken, but Carol knows what he was going to say anyway. As before in the park, she places her hand against his cheek, stroking his face. With the utmost confidence she can summon up, she tells him "Nothing will go wrong. You`re gonna be fine."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because I believe in you. You are strong. You`re a fighter. And I trust Tomi wouldn`t put you through this surgery if he didn`t think you were strong enough for it. You trust him, too, don`t you?"

Yes, Ezekiel does trust him. And he knows that he needs the surgery. But he hasn`t exactly been on the winning side lately. Carol can still see the flicker of doubt on his face, leaning closer to kiss away a little bit of his fear, to show him he wasn`t alone, that she was right there with him.

"I believe in you" she repeats, kissing him again. "Everything will be okay." Another kiss, more sensual, promising.

"I know what you are doing." Ezekiel can`t help but respond to her kisses, his fingers weaving into her hair. Carol was trying to divert his mind and he was all to willingly giving in to her seduction.

"Is it working?"

Instead of answering, Ezekiel pulls her into another kiss, his tongue begging entrance to her mouth. Carol allows it, slipping onto his lap. Smiling, she reaches up to unbutton her shirt, pushing it open to reveal her body to him. As usually, she`s not wearing underwear to bed. Ezekiel`s hands glide over her thighs to her butt, pulling her even closer against him, but other than that, he lets her take the lead. Slowly, Carol unbuttons his shirt as well, her fingers gliding over his well-muscled chest. She captures his lips again as one hand slips beneath his waistband, stroking him. There`s no hurry, just the need to feel each other.

Ezekiel`s hands can`t remain idle anymore, moving up her body. He wants to give her the same pleasure she is giving him, cupping her breasts, gently playing with the sensitive pebbles. They moan into their kiss, unwilling to break their connection. Ezekiel knows that she is ready when Carol starts rocking her hips against him. She lets go of him to wrap her arms around his shoulders, raising up on her knees. They stare into each other`s eyes as she slowly sinks down on him, welcoming him inside her body.

For some heartbeats, they remain still, just looking at each other, holding each other close. It`s Carol who moves first, gently sliding against Ezekiel. They pick up their kissing again, bodies pressed as close together as possible. Their lovemaking is slow and sweet, infinitely tender, communicating feelings they have no words to express. Hands roam where they can reach, caressing, teasing. Even though they would love to stay in their intimate embrace forever, their bodies have a mind of their own. Gradually, their movements become more insistent, seeking completion.

Carol`s hands dig into Ezekiel`s shoulders, her head falling backwards. She surrenders to her bodies needs, grinding against him as best as possible. Ezekiel helps by gripping her ass again, intensifying her efforts. He`s close, the way she`s squeezing him making his head spin, but he holds out. Only when she goes rigid in his arms, a low moan falling from her lips, does he allow himself to follow her over the edge. He pulls her against his body, crushing her in his arms, but Carol doesn`t mind, holding on to him as she rides out her orgasm.

Some time later, they lie in each other`s arms again in the dark, Carol`s hand resting over Ezekiel`s heart.

"I love you."

Carol smiles, her fingers caressing his skin.

"I know. I love you, too." She hesitates two or three seconds, then adds "And you better not leave me. Because that would make me really mad. That`s something you can be afraid of."

Ezekiel can`t help but laugh at that, making Carol chuckle as well. Placing his hand over hers, he squeezes it.

He has no intention of leaving her. Ever.

THE END