Hello… was reading my old stories and needed to know what happened next. Most of this was written previously, but I finished the chapter off. I make no promises on future releases :)
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Harry sat down for dinner with Snape, his hair mussed from his afternoon nap. He had been exhausted from the morning's training; mind dancing with Snape, who was stepping up his game, to physical training with Tonks, who was still pleased with his progress, and ending with the Dark Arts lesson with Snape who had him practice both spells he learned before introducing a new one that focused on another defensive maneuver: a dark energy shield.
Snape seemed restless and impatient, likely to get out of the house. Whatever the reason, it had Harry shifting in his seat repeatedly in discomfort. They were halfway through their meal with Remus arrived, cracking a nervous smile as he sat, "How are you, Harry?" He dug into the hot plate of food Trigol brought for him.
Harry offered a smile, nodding at Remus when the man glanced his way. Snape's lip curled in apparent disgust as he observed the interaction.
"And yourself, Severus?" Remus sounded hesitant.
Harry watched the man's upper lip uncurl as he seemed to consider the question.
"As well as can be expected." Snape finally endeavored to grace them with a response, "There and obvious drawbacks to my predicament but I find, due to the freedoms now afforded to me, I appreciate the regeneration of my ability to express myself without hindrance."
Remus relaxed a little, exhaling. "I am happy you have managed some optimism, then."
"Yes, well, it does one wonders when they're given the opportunity to get out, as well. It would please me greatly if you could attempt to give me this chance more often."
Harry, who had been perplexed, now felt as if someone had punched him in the gut. He couldn't blame Snape for wanting to get out, but it hurt knowing that Remus had the opportunity to see him more often and didn't.
"You know a well as I do that Albus has been avoiding sending you into trouble at all costs, and I feel the same. It is safer for me to do this, and so I do." Lupin sighed, eating the remaining bites on his plate.
"You know as well as I do that it is not my safety the Headmaster concerns himself with. Furthermore, it is not for you or him to decide what is safe for me. You may be less at risk, but I know more about this particular… subject matter." Snape stood from his empty plate.
Remus set his fork down carefully, his anxiety seeming to transform to a righteous anger, but he still did not raise his voice. "Albus loves and trusts you, Severus, and I believe I have the right to try and protect you, the man who saved my life from a fate worse than death to those he outright betrayed for me."
"You would repay me by forcing me to sit idle, by rendering me useless?" Snape snarled, leaning forward and placing a palm flat on the table, making his voice low and dangerous, "I will not suffer the fate of that mad dog you called a friend. No one cared to protect me until now, and I am quite certain I can protect myself still. What happened changes nothing."
Lupin closed his eyes, breathing deep. Harry watched the exchange, too overloaded to do much more than gawk. "Perhaps it changes nothing to, you, Severus." Remus locked eyes with the older man, "You have sacrificed enough-"
"It will not be enough until this war is over!" Snape snapped, striding towards the exit. Remus followed, and Harry scrambled out of his seat to do so as well.
"By staying here you are still helping with this war, Severus. You have more to offer Harry than I or the aurors do." Snape was putting his cloak on with jerky, angry movements. "Not one of us surpasses the depth of knowledge you hold about those we're up against and the weapons they employ. You're the only one with the necessary experience and you're the only one that we can trust to train Harry to adequately protect himself."
Snape, finally having wrestled his coat on, gazed levelly at Harry, his lip slowly curling in disgust. Finally, he turned to Lupin. "Do not attempt to manipulate me, Wolf. I will stay, and I will train Potter, that was not in question."
Harry stared, bewildered, as the door slammed angrily behind Snape. He felt Remus's hand clasp around his shoulder, warmth penetrating his clothing down to his flesh, and he turned to look at the man whose affection he desperately wanted.
"I am sure you have questions." Remus sighed warily, exhaustion evident in his voice, "but I… am afraid I have not many answers. Severus… Professor Snape isn't a spy anymore because he saved my life."
The werewolf's green-gold eyes gazed into Harry's as the man's face contorted in anguish. "I… find that I still can not talk about it further. It is painful."
Feeling a desperate need to comfort him, Harry pushed forward and wrapped his arms around Remus, the man welcoming him into a tight embrace.
Awkwardly, unsure how long to hold a hug, Harry moved as if to release, but Remus didn't loosen his grip. Surprised and overwhelmed, Harry leaned into the man and waited.
"Thank you, Harry." Remus murmured, pulling out of what seemed like the longest hug in Harry's young life. "It was… Professor Snape is less despicable than he seems. He is abrasive, I give you that, but what he lacks in personality and hygiene he makes up for with other qualities."
Harry nodded, thinking about how Snape had been better towards him, wondering if the strange warmth he felt towards his professor had anything to do with the man's attitude adjustment.
"He played a role when he worked for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. That sort of acting is bound to rub off on a person… but I knew him at Hogwarts. Your mother would not have been as good friends with him as she was if he were truly such a terrible person."
Harry's eyes turned into saucers had Remus's admission, but the man didn't seem to notice. He simply ruffled Harry's hair and walked down the hall towards the study as if the younger man wasn't standing there gawking at him, mouth hanging open.
Coming to his senses and buzzing with questions, Harry finally willed his shocked limbs to move, following the werewolf into the study. Wishing he could call out to the man, a quick, silent accio brought his writing pad flying.
Standing in front of the worn werewolf, now sitting in an oversized armchair, he handed the writing pad to him breathlessly.
"Snape knew my mum?" Was written plainly, the surprise and excitement Harry felt showing no where on the parchment.
Remus looked up from the pad appraisingly. "Of course you don't know." He said thoughtfully, "They were very good friends for years, even before Hogwarts, Harry. Your father was extremely jealous and had quite a prank war with Severus. We were all in the same year."
Harry sat on the floor in front of him, ignoring the arm chair not 5 feet away. "No one ever talks about my mum."
Remus looked away, "James casts a large shadow, I suspect, and Lily… we all remember her, privately. How can you describe someone of her caliber, without thinking deeply, remembering, feeling the pain of that loss as if it were today?" The man clenched his fist, casting a quick glance at Harry, who looked exactly as you would expect; A boy, eating up every word about a parent he never meant, starved for that closeness. "She was beautiful. Red hair, green eyes as bright as your own, and a smile that would lift the heaviest of hearts. Everyone adored her, and your father was the luckiest man in the school. How he ended up with her, I'll never know. He thought she was blinded by her own kindness, and that was why she befriended Snape, but I know it was more than that. She was kind, yes, she had a heart bigger than Hagrid's, but she was the most intelligent witch in our year. Intelligence attracts intelligence, so to suggest that her and Severus's relationship was built on anything but mutual respect would insult them both. She was just, loyal, and she loved with all she had."
Remus fell silent, reflecting.
"Dumbledore said that her love saved me. That I lived because of her, and that I defeated Quirrel because of the protection her love gave me." Harry's expression was one of awe, but he could feel his heart clenching painfully inside his chest. He wished he could have met her.
Remus finally looked at him after reading the parchment, moisture apparent in his eyes. "She found out about me being a werewolf before the others. She saw that I was ill, monthly. She saw my exhaustion, my pain, and she could see my attempts to isolate myself. She confronted me, and I tried to hide it, terrified I would be rejected." He breathed heavily, and Harry waited. "She held me, and accepted me, and told me she would be there for me if the others rejected me- but she was adamant they wouldn't. I think she had a hand in that, too."
Harry wiped at his stinging eyes, taking his own calming breath.
"She loved you so much, Harry. As did James." Again, the man breathed deeply, and then leaned his head back against the chair, closing his eyes. "Let us rest for a few minutes, and then we should test you as you requested."
Nodding reluctantly, Harry scooted forward and turned to situate himself between Remus's calves, his back to the chair. He leaned against it, against the older man's leg, and closed his eyes, trying to picture his mother.
Having napped previously, Harry did not sleep. He waited, taking comfort from Remus, for maybe a quarter hour before deciding to get a book to read. He did not wish to wake his obviously exhausted guardian.
When he moved to get up, Remus startled awake, his hand coming down on his head to ruffle Harry's hair. "Thanks for letting me nap, Harry." He removed his hand and sat up as Harry dislodged himself. When Harry stood, Remus motioned to the other arm chair. "Bring that closer and let us discuss your magic and what you're concerned about."
Harry did as he was told, and when he was settled, Remus just finished casting a spell on his writing pad. "So it will read the words to me." He explained.
Harry shrugged, and the parchment began to write, the words being read in Remus's voice as soon as they were spelled out on the parchment. "No one had suggested it before."
He wondered if he could spell it to sound like Snape.
"It could be confusing with more than us. Plus, there is no emotional inflection with the voice, making it a bit disquieting. Anyway, Harry, tell me what your concerns are. Why do you not trust Professor Snape's judgment?"
Harry flushed, and without the need to actually say the words, they flowed easily on to the parchment and subsequently were read in Remus's voice. "I lack green magic. Spells I could cast before I struggle with now. No matter what memory I call, this is all I get for a Patronus."
Remus watched as Harry swished his wand and a puff of silvery smoke spouted from the end. The boy, shame-faced, did not look at him.
"My shields and counter-curses are weak. I am defenseless, and while Snape is training me to use my red magic, to use dark arts to make up for it, I am worried. I trust him, he has saved my life loads of times, and now yours too- but he doesn't care about my lack of green magic, and neither do Moody or Tonks. Everyone keeps blowing it off."
Harry willed himself to look at Remus, finding concern in his amber eyes. The ball of tension in his stomach loosened a little.
"Once more we are failing you, aren't we?" Remus sighed, "We focus on what we think that matters, all along the thing you worry for most is ignored and turns out to be the real issue." The older man leaned forward, holding Harry's eyes with his own. "I will look into this, Harry. You are right. We shouldn't discount this as usual, as usual is hardly ever true with you. I am going to cast a few diagnostic spells and I will speak with Severus to get his thoughts when he returns. Have you spoken to the Headmaster about this?"
Harry shook his head, feeling resentment towards the old man at the thought of him. Remus sighed audibly. "I can not defend him, Harry, but it does no one good to hang on to grudges. Consider giving him another chance. He loves you."
"He loves me as much as the Dursleys do." The magical voice reading the parchment held no tone, giving no credence to Harry's emotional state, "I am but a pawn to him. Someone to keep alive because of a stupid prophecy."
Remus's eyes widened, and there was a long pause before he finally spoke, placing his hand over Harry's in a comforting gesture. "That is not true, Harry. Why do you think that?"
"Have you heard the prophecy?"
"The Headmaster said it was better for as few people to know it as possible." Remus frowned, considering it, "I know the first part, of course, that it pertains to you."
"It says that one of us has to die, me or Voldemort, at the hand of the other." Harry clenched his fists and glared at the parchment paper. His eyes burned as moisture gathered in them and spilled out over the lids.
Surprise colored his expression when he was tugged from his seat into Remus's warm embrace, his face suddenly buried in the rough fabric of the man's robe. "We won't let anything happen to you, Harry. I won't let anything happen to you."
Harry pulled himself away from the comfort Remus offered. "There's nothing you can do, nothing anyone can do." They hadn't helped him before and they couldn't even save him from the Dursleys. "Voldemort is going to kill me. I don't have the skill it takes to face him or his death eaters, I can't even protect myself anymore!" His cheeks were wet with the emotion the magical voice couldn't project.
Remus took Harry by the shoulders, gazing worriedly into Harry's eyes. "You are not alone, Harry, and you will not face him or them alone. If I have it my way, you won't face him at all. We are here to face him, the order, the aurors, hundreds of wizards ready when the time comes. We will protect you, and we will make sure you can protect yourself."
Harry shook his head stubbornly, "I can't ask you all to risk your lives for me."
"This is our war, not yours. You are involved due to circumstances that we had no control of. We will train you to defend yourself because it is a necessity, but the responsibility for this is not on you." Remus gazed at Harry, trying to decipher his expression, "Harry, do you understand?"
Harry nodded shortly, looking away from Remus again. The man was wrong; whether they liked it or not this was his war, it was his fight against Voldemort and his Death Eaters; it would be him to meet the Dark Lord on the battlefield in the end. He knew that Remus believed what he was saying, but that didn't make it true.
Remus sighed and seemed to deflate, one hand dropping from Harry's shoulder as the man closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he pulled Harry into another hug."I'll see what I can do to resolve this without the Headmaster, okay?"
The tension seemed to melt from Harry's body and he nodded against Remus's chest before pulling out of the embrace. "Thanks, Moony."
They stood awkwardly looking at each other before Remus suggested a game of chess. They played well into the evening. Stilted at first, their interaction grew more comfortable as time passed, eventually with laughter and talking taking more of their attention than the chess pieces.
It was late when Snape arrived, in which Harry guiltily remembered still had reading to do; he'd have to stay up late to cover it. Remus prodded Snape into the kitchen, Harry in tow, suggesting that they share a drink.
"How did the evening go?" Remus smiled conversationally, sipping some unidentified amber liquid from a short glass.
Harry knew he had butterbeer, but he was certain that whatever liquid Snape was drinking was also hard alcohol.
"I found and removed a curse from the prefect's bathroom, then spent the rest of the evening testing the Gryffindor 6th year dorms." Snape sounded smug.
"There is nothing there. I've tested it repeatedly myself." Remus grumbled.
"There is something there, and I will find it. I've already spoken with the Headmaster about it as well, I feel it would behoove them to move the Gryffindor dorms until they find out what the Dark Lord has planned."
"And what does Voldemort have planned?" Harry smiled, feeling mischievous as Remus's monotone was magically projected from the parchment.
Snape seemed to freeze in place, his dark, glaring eyes inspecting Remus, who was sitting with one leg crossed over the other, a smile tugging at his lips.
His glare swung to Harry, one eyebrow elegantly lifting. Harry tried and failed to suppress his grin. "I see. This is very amusing, then? Is nothing I say of importance?"
"I believe-" Remus started.
"No. Let Potter speak for himself. He seemed quite keen on it." Snarled the Potion's Master.
Harry flushed, "I really am interested in what you are saying. I had forgotten about the voice charm."
Snape pursed his lips then flicked his wand, "Finite Incantatem." Sending a dark look at Remus, he moved on. "I do not yet know what the Dark Lord has planned, but I am sure that he is attempting to distract us from his purpose."
"You suspect that his goal is to curse the Gryffindor Common room?"
"No!" Snarled Snape, his features contorting into a glower, "How can any of you be so foolish as not to see that he is after Potter? He will have hidden a curse in the boys dorm or somewhere that Potter here visits frequently. The curse will not be obvious, as the others are. It will be an elegant piece of art that is undetectable to even the most skilled Curse Breaker."
"Bill-"
"Bill Weasley is not an extraordinary Curse Breaker just by virtue of the fact that he is related to the Weasley family. He is average at best. Do not sing his praises to me as if he were the most skilled in all of Europe. He isn't even the most skilled to come out of Hogwarts in recent years. You and I both found curses that he missed, ones so obvious Neville Longbottom would trip over them."
Harry winced at Snape's tone and the thorough destruction of the eldest Weasley child's skill set. Remus seemed unaffected, carefully moving the tip of his wand in a circular motion over top of his glass, the fluid inside swirling with such intensity that there was a tiny funnel in the center.
The Potions Master looked irritated and turned his attention to Harry, who flinched under the scrutiny of the man's angry gaze. "I suppose you'll continue to traipse around the school as if dozens of Death Eaters hadn't entered and laid traps specifically with the purpose of a slow and painful death for none other than the Savior of the Wizarding World."
Remus spoke as Harry activated his writing pad, which was entirely ignored. "Speaking of Harry, I thought it best that we discuss the issue with his green magic."
Snape gazed steadily at Harry, who's bright green eyes met his black ones. "I'm sure Potter accused me of attempting to sabotage this operation, to get him killed?"
The raven haired teen shook his head almost frantically; he did not want Snape to think he was untrusted when the man obviously valued trust so highly.
Remus rescued him, "No. Harry has a very valid concern that we are not paying enough attention to his lack of green magic."
"I am paying attention to the lack of green magic, Potter. Perhaps it escaped your notice that the spells you've been learning are defensive spells?" Snape's phrasing was pleasant but the tone was condescending. Harry flushed with anger.
"Harry made me aware of that as well, Severus. It's an excellent strategy and well appreciated." Remus spared a quick glance at Harry, eyebrows raised; the young man was positively steaming. "Of course he feels defenseless right now; but the concern is that his green magic is lacking now where it wasn't before. Harry thinks it might be important and I agree with him. I've not heard of anyone's magic fluctuating without reason."
Snape looked thoughtful as Remus spoke and had an immediate response. "I understand the concern. I had thought this through myself but since you both seem to be unable to come to a conclusion on your own, I will share. I have two hypotheses; first being that he's a normal teenage boy going through hormonal changes," At Potter's glare he smirked, "on top of the difficult summer with his family and the loss of his best friend and his boyfriend."
With a panicked look at Remus, Harry worried the man would react to his sexuality; but Remus's expression didn't change. That did not calm him.
"My second hypothesis is that the Dark Lord is siphoning his green magic." The professor continued, "Perhaps he believes he could rid himself of Potter if the child is defenseless. It does not matter. For either issue, training him in alternative defensive spells will have the same result."
Harry's notepad scribbled and floated. Remus took it and read it out loud. "I think that -" Remus paused for a moment before pressing forward, "-that Voldemort could be trying to use that magic for something."
Remus and Snape looked at each other; one face blank and the other concerned.
"I will concede that the idea has merit. I will have to do research." Snape scowled at Potter, "You will help."
Once it became clear what everyone intended to do, Snape left Harry to say goodnight to Remus.
"I should be getting to bed, but I won't be able to see you for a little while. Is there anything else you want to talk about?"
"Are you okay with me being gay?" Harry cringed, his face red once more, as Remus read the notepad. His heart beat painfully in his chest for the few seconds it took Remus to read.
A smile broke across the werewolf's face and he stood, hugging Harry tightly. "Of course I am. I am proud of you for being who you are. And… I'm sorry about Ron. I'm guessing he didn't take it well?" Remus sat back down and they talked for a little longer.
When they said goodnight, Harry left him one last note. "I spend a lot of time in the astronomy tower, the come and go room, and Moaning Myrtle's bathroom."
Remus promised to look into it and Harry was off to his library for his required reading.
