Duo was in heaven. Or was it hell? The night they'd had - and the morning - had been incredible. He'd fantasized about what it would be like to be with her that way, but the reality had blown his dreams out of the water. But what now? He was falling in deeper but as far as he could tell, to Relena this was nothing more than friends with benefits and a set of rings. And he wasn't about to dissuade her of the notion. Love had not been part of the agreement, and it wouldn't be fair to push that on her.
They'd ordered breakfast to their cabin and enjoyed a leisurely morning together, only emerging for a late lunch around 2pm. Everyone else had already eaten, but Dorothy found them at the lunch buffet and insisted on joining them, cocktail in hand and joking comments about the hickey on Relena's neck at the ready.
If he'd thought Relena had been blushing that morning, it was nothing to the deep crimson her face turned when Dorothy mentioned the love bite. He felt awful, not having meant to give her any reason to be embarrassed, but he'd been caught up in the moment. He'd have to be careful not to do that again. Dorothy gave him a very pointed look when he immediately changed the subject but seemed to let it go. Apparently she had some tact, when it suited her.
"How about some girl's time?" Dorothy asked Relena when they'd finished eating. "Catherine mentioned she was free this afternoon and I for one want to get to know her better. Unless you're intent on your honeymoon?" She arched an eyebrow at her friend, who looked embarrassed again and not sure how to respond. Relena looked at him, a question in her eyes.
"Go have fun," Duo encouraged, biting off an endearment before it could pass his lips. No need to give Dorothy more fodder to pester Relena about. After the ladies left, he found himself heading toward the cabin he had shared with Trowa, wanting the support of a friend. Not that he was ready to admit he'd gotten in too deep, but Trowa's presence was always enough to help steady him when he needed it.
Trowa wasn't there, which he supposed was no surprise. If Catherine was free, Trowa must be as well, and with a whole cruise ship to enjoy, why would he be hanging around his cabin? He was just turning to walk away, however, when Trowa appeared heading his direction.
"I wasn't sure if I'd be seeing you today," his friend commented as he opened his door. "Looking for company?"
"Yeah. Dorothy took Relena to spend the afternoon with Catherine so I thought I'd see if you were around."
Trowa's lips quirked in a small smile. "I'm around. I was actually about to meet Quatre at the pool, if you wanted to join us?"
"Making new friends?" Duo asked.
"Hard not to. Quatre's so friendly, you know?"
"Easy on the eyes, too," Duo teased, and he could have sworn he caught a slight flush rise on Trowa's cheeks.
"Yes, he is that. So, wanna join?" Trowa asked again.
"Sounds like fun," Duo replied, grinning. If Trowa was interested in Quatre, he thought, maybe he'd be too busy with his crush to notice how Duo was feeling about Relena.
He reckoned without Quatre's perceptiveness, however. The blonde didn't raise anything at first, starting a lively conversation with Trowa about life as a performer while they lounged in the pool, but eventually his attention turned to Duo.
"I saw Relena earlier as she, Cathy and Dorothy were headed to another part of the ship. Sunbathing I think. Looks like you two had some fun last night."
The comment was delivered with a sunny smile, but Duo sensed an edge to the man's voice. Trowa looked at him and raised a brow.
"Is that so?" his friend asked.
"Ummm… yeah. You could put it that way." He felt his cheeks heating under the scrutiny of the other men, not quite knowing how to respond.
"I hadn't realized that was part of the deal." Now there was definitely an edge to Quatre's voice.
"I hadn't either," Duo replied. "Not until Relena… well, I didn't say no." He paused. "Should I have?"
Quatre sighed. "I guess not. You're both adults. I'd say it's none of my business, but Relena is a very close friend. I just don't want her to get hurt."
"That's the last thing I want, too." As far as Duo could tell, he was the one who was going to get hurt here. But now wasn't the time to reveal that. If ever. "I'll have a talk with her about it if you think that's a good idea. Make sure we're on the same page."
Quatre nodded. "I'd appreciate that. Relena has a big heart, and being together that way can bring up, well, feelings of attachment. If you do end up separating as you'd planned… as I said, I don't want her getting hurt."
Duo swallowed. He hadn't thought that Relena would change how she felt toward him just because they were having sex. Her behaviour certainly hadn't indicated as such. After calling her a sweetheart first thing after waking up, he'd been careful not to do anything else that might betray his feelings. She'd been physically affectionate with him between rounds, sure, but he'd had casual flings before and knew that was normal even when emotions weren't involved.
"I'll make sure to talk to her, then."
"Thank you."
That was when Duo noticed the way Trowa was looking at him. He knew that scrutiny was going to turn into another conversation later, and was grateful when their talk turned back to Trowa's life on the road. Trowa was apparently going to wait until they were alone, for which he was very grateful.
Soon it was time to get ready for dinner, so Trowa and Duo parted ways with Quatre. Most of Duo's clothes were still in their shared room, and he headed there with Trowa, apprehension over the impending discussion growing as they neared it.
"So," Trowa began, and Duo did his best to busy himself packing up his stuff to take to his room with Relena. "How are you doing?"
Duo had expected an acerbic comment or at least a joke, not such an open question. "What do you mean?" he asked, stalling.
"Just what I said. How are you doing?"
Duo paused, thinking how best to answer. "Having a good time, as Quatre pointed out." It wasn't wrong, just not the whole truth. Good enough.
"I did notice that hickey, so I assumed as much. But that's what you're doing, not how."
Duo sighed. "Honestly? I don't know." He decided to go with the whole truth. "I think I really messed up."
"Messed up how?"
"I fell for her," he stated without embellishment. It really was that simple. But the situation wasn't simple at all.
"That does present some difficulty. Have you told her?"
"Hell no! We agreed this would be a marriage in name only, and we'd part ways sooner than later. Of course it sounded like that might be as much as a year later, so I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through this. But it wouldn't be fair to put her in a situation where she's feeling guilty because I caught feelings I shouldn't have."
"Is it fair to put yourself through a whole year of unrequited feelings?"
"No, but I'm not going back on my word. She really had her back up to a corner with the way her mom was treating her, so I'm glad I can help her out of that. It's just going to be… a bit difficult."
"That sounds like a mild assessment of the situation."
"Maybe so, but it's how it's going to be."
"And you're sure she doesn't feel the same way?"
"Of course not. She's treating me just as she has the whole time, except for the added physical relationship. But that doesn't change anything."
"Are you treating her any differently?"
"No way. I'm not going to put her in a difficult position like that," Duo insisted.
"So how do you know she's not doing the same thing?"
"I… I just know."
"If you say so," Trowa replied. Duo was about to argue the point further when Trowa put up his hand. "I'm just trying to get an idea of the situation, not rile you up. Quatre doesn't want Relena to get hurt, but I'm your friend first and foremost. You're the one I'm worried about, and it seems like that worry is justified."
"I'll be fine, Trowa. I can take care of myself."
"Okay. Just know that I'm here if you need me."
"Thanks, buddy. That means a lot." Duo lifted up his packed suitcase. "Time to get the rest of my stuff over to my new room. I'll catch you later."
As Duo walked away, he wondered just how much he'd need to lean on his friend in the coming months. This was not going to be easy.
