Chapter Six
Confession - Anxiety Separation
Pikachu and Svetlana found themselves at a nearby diner, sharing a giant plate of fries. Pikachu had a tiny paw supporting his head, staring desultorily at the fries.
"pi, Kaa, pi kachu kachu kaaa pi Pikapi," he said morosely.
"Why?" Svetlana asked, pouring ketchup on the fries.
Pikachu poked a fry into some ketchup like he was testing a riverbed for sinkholes with a pole. "Pii, pi Kaaa Pi kachu Piii Pi-i piii Pi chuu, Kaaa pi pikachu-ka pii kaa chu, pii Pipi pi Piikaa Chu Piii pipi kachu Kaa-pi-ka-chu. pi kaa'pi piii pipi'pi pikapi pipi pi."
"Well, for one thing, you think of things in terms like that. Nothing's 'wrong' with you, you're just human. Or … sentient or whatever."
"Piii, pii kachu Pii Kachu kaa chuuu pi-i pii pika-chu pikaa pi-kaaa-chu, pii pi Pii'Pi Pipi ka Chuu piika pi. chuuu Chu. chu chuu Pika pika Pika chu Piika chu-pikachu-chu? Chuu Chu'Pi chu chu pika, pii ka? pi pipi, ka pipi kaa chu pipi kaaa kaa Kaaa pikapi'Pi pikachu, ka Pika-pika pika." Pikachu had begun eagerly eating the fries now.
"I don't know, man," Svetlana said around a huge amount of ketchup with a fry or two thrown in for good measure. "I'm not your therapist, and I've seen you two together for like 20 seconds total. For all I know, the whole relationship was a publicity stunt from the beginning."
"chu," Pikachu replied softly. "Piika Pii Pipi-pikapi piika. pi kaa Piii kaa pi Kachu. pi Chu pikapi Pi-i pikapi pika-pika pi-kaaa-chu/Pikapi Pikachu Kachu chuuuu piii pika pi pii chuu. pi pi-i'pi pi-kaaa-chu pi-kaaa-chu piikachu kaaa chuuuu Chu chu Kaaa piii pi Pikapi, chu piii-pikaa pi Pikachu. Pi pipi'Pi Pipi ka Kaa Chu pi-kaaa-chu pi-pika-pika pika Pi Piii'pi pipi ka Pi Kachu ka Pika-chu Pika Ka. Pi Pii pi piii Pikapi."
"It usually is." Svetlana sighed and stared at the fries as if awaiting a profundity from them. Pikachu seemed similarly engaged. "I had this boyfriend once … never mind."
"pi, Pipi?" Pikachu asked. "pi pikapi chu pi-i Chu chu pikaa pia pika-chu-chuu pikachu pika kaa Pika chu Kachu."
"Well, he liked to pee on me."
Pikachu stopped mid-raise of a french fry to his mouth. He slowly put the fry down. Svetlana's face was caught in a wince, wanting to take it back. Pikachu folded his tiny paws over each other. "pi Ka," he urged.
"I mean, not just me. He liked to pee on girls he was dating, you know?"
"pi Pii," Pikachu responded, nodding slowly.
"And at first it was like, I guess it felt like it was cool and subversive, like … we'd be at parties and I'd feel like we had this cool rebellious secret. But then after a while, it just felt like … am I his girlfriend or his urinal, you know what I mean? And it started really eating at me. But I couldn't say anything, or I felt like I'd come across as a square, right?"
Pikachu's eyes had continued to grow larger as he listened. "pi Pii," he repeated, his head slowly nodding.
"Anyway, it finally got to the point where EVERY CONVERSATION we had finally became so difficult and resentful because that was simmering beneath everything, and I guess that made it a toxic relationship, but mostly because I couldn't talk about the real thing that was on my mind."
They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity.
"Y'all want anything else?" The voice of the waitress broke them out of their reverie.
"pi Pika-pi'pi Chuu pika-pika kachu," choked out Pikachu, while Svetlana shook her head emphatically.
The waitress walked away, and the both of them broke out laughing. "Oh, god, do you think she overheard any of that?" Svetlana asked.
"Pi, pii Chu chu, pi'pi kaaa," Pikachu giggled. "pi'ka Kachu pi ka Pi-pika-chu pi-i. 'pika-pika pi-i chu-chuu.' Pika-pi pika-pika, Pi'pi Pikaa pi Chu-Chu."
"Shut up," Svetlana choked out, throwing a wadded up napkin at Pikachu.
They managed to comport themselves as the waitress brought them another Coke and dropped off their slip. "Whenever you're ready," she said and walked off.
"kachu Pi pii Pikapi kaa ka?" Pikachu asked introspectively, watching her walk away, "pikachu pi-ka-chu? chu pi Kaa piii pika-pika ka chu pi piikachu?"
"Pee slut," Svetlana said, deadpan.
Pikachu, having just taken a big sip of Coke, did a spit take. "Pii pi-i'pi," he managed, before a coughing fit came on.
"You've got to own it, baby!" Svetlana whisper-shouted, trying not to draw too much attention.
Eventually Pikachu got himself under control. "Pi kachu pikachu," he said quietly, "kaaa, pi'pi piikaa ka kaaa ka pikaa Piikaa Piikaa Pii'ka Chuu ka, pikaa chuuuu Pika-pi chuu, chuu Pi kachu Pika chuu'Pi kaa kachu pikapi. Kaa Kachu Pika-pi chuu pika-pi pika pii, pii pikapi piikaa kachu-pipi chuu kaa pii chu chuu Chu chu Chu? piii, ka Chu pika pipi chu pii Pika-pika Pika'pi Kachu Piika ka Chu Pika-pi kaa Pikachu?"
"Oh, no, that's just Godzilla. If I'd known I was gonna see you, I'd have brought my copy of 'Pikachu Sings the Blues' for you to sign. Huge fan."
"pi, Pii," Pikachu said, lowering his face into his paws. "pi chu Chu pikachu chuu kachu chu pika-pika kachu. Pika kachu ka piii."
"Hey! Your rendition of 'Hoochie Coochie Man' is timeless."
Pikachu raised his head again. "Pikachu, pichu kaaa pi-i kachu kaa." His countenance grew sad again. "kaa. pi Chuuuu piii chuu pi-i pi-kaaa-chu. pi ka Pika pi pipi kachu."
Now it was Svetlana's turn to nearly choke on her drink. "What? But you're … I mean …" she looked him up and down, which took approximately half a second.
"Ka, pi KAAA," Pikachu responded, affronted at the memory. "pii Pika chuu, Chu'pi pikapi ka pikaa chu pika pika-pika Pikaa pi, Pii Pika-pika-pi piikaa. pi Piii Pi-i pikapi CHUU-PII-I pii pipi pikaa kaaa pii Pi-piikachu Pii Pii Pipi-pikapi. pi pii chu Pika-pika pi-kaaa-chu chu Chu chu Pika."
Svetlana managed around a giggle, "We have turned into a couple of gossipy bitches!"
Pikachu guffawed. "Pi kachu chu!" Pikachu's face contorted again. "ka-pi chuu, kachu piikaa. Pi pika, Pi-i Pikachu ka pika Pi Pi-i chuu pika-chu-chu piii pipi piikaa kaa piikaa pi Ka Piika. Pipi, pii, Kaa kachu piii pi Chu-i pikapi? Pikachu kachu. Pi Pika-chu-ka. pikapi pika-pi pika-pika chu-pikachu-chu-chu chu pi piii piikaa."
"Oh, I agree. But you know what's great? Truffle OIL on fries!"
"chuu," Pikachu said, confused, "pi-i'pi pika-pika kachu Chuu kachu chuu pi-ka-chu kaa pi kachu?"
"I thought truffles were potato-like things. Don't pigs find them in the ground?"
Pikachu looked down, an expression on his face like a cat who'd just been shown an alternate form of physics and it was BLOWING HIS TINY CAT MIND. "kaaa, pi Chu'pi Chuu," he said quietly.
They both laughed. "I feel like I'm high!" Svetlana shouted too loudly.
"Kaa pikapi kachu pi-i kaaa chu Chu KACHU pikapi!" Pikachu yelled as well.
They both laughed louder.
"kaa," Pikachu said, "pikapi Pika'pi Pika pi Pipi. pi Chuuuu Kachu pi Piii, Chuuu Chu-pika-pi, pi Chuuu, pi-pika-pika kachu, pi-i-chuuuu kachu, pii chuu-pika-pika. Pipi! Kaaa Pi pii chu?"
"I say that's part of your problem, man. You keep making everything a giant project! I don't want to start a band with you; the last time I played an instrument was the flute in high school, for eff's sake. But I WILL play you some Rock Band if you want. And I'll find my albums for you to sign."
"Pipi pikachu chuuu," Pikachu said and dropped some cash on the invoice slip. "Pi pi-i chu."
"Never turn down a free lunch," Svetlana said as she stood.
"Would you hate me if I asked you to stay behind?" Adam asked.
Godzilla was taken aback. "But we … I mean, I've changed a lot of plans, and …"
"Admit it, you were kind of regretting missing that much work."
"I–well, sure, but–"
"And it'd probably be better if Minilla stayed in a setting they're comfortable with rather than hiring a tutor for the trip."
"You're just using all the arguments I tried using when you suggested I go!"
Adam smiled. "They're good arguments!"
"Why didn't they sway you, then?" Godzilla asked.
"Because I just really wanted you to be with you, silly."
"And …" Godzilla hung his head. "Has that changed?"
Adam faltered. "No. No, it's not that, it's just …"
"I get it. You and Pikachu had something, whatever it was. You've never really talked much about it."
"No, no, it's … whatever that was, it's over, I just … I didn't get much closure out of the ordeal, and … maybe talking to him would be a good idea, and it'd be nice to be able to have some space for that."
"Sure, I get it," Godzilla whispered. "I don't fit."
Adam glanced to both sides, and, though they were alone, lowered his voice to a whisper. "Hey," he said, stroking Godzilla consolingly, "hey, I told you, just give me time … that's - we can totally make that work."
"No, I don't mean -" started Godzilla, looking flustered. "I mean, I don't fit in your LIFE. I'm always confused about what the news sites are saying about us, and I can't even keep Ricardo and Francisco separate, and …"
"Well, they're twins. It's a challenge."
"You know what what I'm trying to say!"
"Hey, big guy," Adam said, petting Godzilla's haunch. "Hey. You don't have to worry about anything, okay?"
"Sure." Godzilla nodded slightly. "I get it. When you gotta go …" He raised his head to look Adam in the eyes. "You gotta go."
"Is it - do you have to go to the bathroom?"
"Huh?"
"That's what that saying is about."
"Is it? I thought it was sage advice about … leaving one constructed reality and entering another."
"No, it's … my *halmoni* had a little carving on her wall, and it was of a guy in a nightshirt grabbing his crotch running for the outhouse, and it said 'when you gotta go, you gotta go.'"
"Oh." They stared at each other. "Because the raver girl who said it to me was the one who gave me the sign at your concert, and I thought … maybe she was magical somehow?"
"Did she give you the sign because she was going to the bathroom?"
"...yeah."
The silence once again engulfed the room.
"Don't worry," Adam reassured speakingly. "We'll text. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that."
"Yeah," Godzilla replied, still seeming a little confused.
The next month passed slowly, seeming to exist in only little slices of moments, almost like a montage in the third act of a film. Godzilla remembered rainy days, sitting on the couch, fretting and awaiting on a response.
G-MAN: I MISS YOU. [we see these words deleted, then the following are typed on the screen] I HOPE YOU'RE EATING WELL.
NOPARKING: UH. SURE. PLENTY OF PROTEIN!
Pikachu saw it pass as he wandered the streets a lot, tiny trench coat around him with paws stuffed into the pockets, frequently checking his tiny phone.
kaaa ka pi-ka-chu'pi kachu Chuuuu pi pi-i-pika-pi-pi*: I FEEL LIKE SUCH AN IDIOT. [we see these words deleted, then the following are typed on the screen] I'VE STARTED A NEW PROJECT. IT SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL. I HOPE YOU'RE ENJOYING SOME PUPUSAS WHILE YOU'RE DOWN THERE.
NOPARKING: YEAH. PLENTY OF LOROCO!
kaaa ka pi-ka-chu'pi kachu Chuuuu pi pi-i-pika-pi-pi: LIVIN LA VIDA LOROCO!
Other times Pikachu would be at an AA meeting, trying to pay attention.
NOPARKING: I'M GLAD YOU'RE GETTING HELP. I SHOULD SEE A THERAPIST WHEN I GET BACK. THIS PAST MONTH HAS FELT LIKE A DREAM. IS THIS EVEN ME?
For Adam, it was just nonstop rehearsal with the dancers, and performances. He'd find himself breathing heavily at the front of the stage, hands up, receiving waves of adulation but feeling a sense of dislocation, visible in his eyes.
Minilla came in to find their father nearly asleep on the couch. From the television came the sounds of tinny voices. "Oh! It is Gamera!"
"Dad?" asked Minilla.
"Yeah?"
"Are you sad?"
Godzilla huffed. "A little."
Minilla put their index fingers together and moved their hands counter-clockwise to each other. "Are you scared?"
"Why would you think I'm scared, Min?"
"Because Pikachu is so cool and everybody loves him and maybe that means Adam loves him, too, and they knew each other for a long time and you have nothing in common with that world?"
"Oh, right," Godzilla replied, bleary eyed. He stared at the television and pulled the beer he was nursing from behind his back, gulping down about a third. "That."
Minilla started shifting nervously, not sure whether to stay or not.
"Yeah," Godzilla finally admitted. "Yeah, I'm scared."
"Well … I think you're cool, Dad!"
Godzilla eyed Minilla. "Yeah?"
"Yeah! Just as cool as Pikachu! Well … almost."
Godzilla gave a small snort of amusement. "Here, grab the divan." Minilla brought it over. "Jump up here." Minilla did, and Godzilla hugged them tight, and they watched a turtle spin around above Tokyo.
*Note: Pikachu's "handle" for texting is, translated, "Pikachu's phone no solicitations please"
