Some people might be astonished at the large swathes of Pikachu-driven dialogue where you have to grasp at straws to figure out what the hell is going on. As a bonus, here's everything in English:
"So you finally showed up," Adam began, putting his hands in his pockets, which felt wrong, so he crossed his arms, which felt more wrong. Everything felt wrong. He felt like a cat that'd entered a room to find that physics weren't what they used to be, and also there was an ex-lover there and the cat didn't know why.
"Yeah, I've been circling your block for the past couple of days, knowing you'll be heading out soon, and I honestly didn't think I'd work up the courage to come up, but … today I just … did it before I really realized what I was doing," Pika said, slowly pacing, mostly looking at the floor, only now and then glancing over to make eye contact with Adam.
"Uh huh …" Adam replied, not sure where this was going.
"I just," Pikachu said, stopping, wringing his paws, moving his head from side to side, "I felt I needed to … I have to say …"
"You don't have to say ANYTHING if you don't want to," countered Adam.
"I want to! Really, I do, it's just …" Pikachu sighed. "This is difficult."
"Oh, really?" Adam replied. "I wouldn't know anything about difficult."
"Look, look, I get it. I was the asshole. I get that. I'm trying to apologize here, and maybe explain. Maybe that's pointless, I don't know. But I just … my therapist and the program both recommend it."
"You're back in therapy?"
"Yeah, and AA. Started back to meetings the day after. I knew I'd fucked up. It was so stupid …"
"Uh huh …" Adam said, unwilling to give an inch emotionally to this yellow rat.
"Look, I just–" Pikachu started, finally looking directly at Adam. "You know about my father–"
Adam threw up his arms. "Your FATHER?! Yeah, I know all about that. I thought we were PAST that!"
"So did I!" Pikachu hissed in return, glancing at the bedroom door. "But I …" His gaze returned to the fibers of the Dodgington Oriental area rug in midnight blue. "I started getting really antsy that day. And I couldn't reach out to you because I just … I felt so ashamed for feeling the way I did."
"So you called Ash," Adam stated rather than asked.
"Yeah," Pikachu admitted. "I knew he wouldn't judge me - I know, I know! That's not fair. What I mean is, he wouldn't judge me for ACTING on it. For falling into old patterns."
Adam blew out air and rocked on his heels, hands finally somewhat comfortable with his thumbs in the loops of his jeans. "I mean, I guess I realized you had a disease, and maybe it was wrong of me to give you an ultimatum, but I DID give you one, and you broke it."
"Yeah," Pikachu replied glumly. "I know."
"So … why are you here?" Adam asked. "I'm sure it can't have escaped your notice that I'm married now, and we're making it work?"
"First and foremost, I wanted to let you know I'm sorry." Pikachu inhaled deeply, his tiny yellow chest ballooning. "And I wanted you to know you did nothing wrong. You didn't push me to it or anything like that."
"I am well aware of that," Adam replied coldly.
Pikachu remained staring at the elegant floral medallion of the Dodgington Oriental area rug. "Good, good," he said, choking up somewhat.
"Look," Adam said decisively, "I'm not trying to kick you when you're down or whatever here, but I don't know what you want here."
"I just," Pikachu began, "I was wondering, can we talk again? I miss talking to you. I miss so much. I know I fucked up, but … I mean … are you really happy now? Weren't we good together?"
"We WERE!" Adam finally shouted. "You threw it away!"
"I swear I'm working the program!" Pikachu yelled back. They finally began approaching each other, paradoxically, as their voices rose.
"I'm GLAD, but I don't much CARE!" Adam shouted, steeling his eyes to try not to show any emotion.
Pikachu whispered, "You don't mean that. You can't mean that."
Adam only stared at him in response, his gaze as intense as a stuffed dead raven's.
"I'm willing to start anywhere," Pikachu whispered weakly. "Just texting, certain times of the day - of the week. Whatever."
Adam huffed resignedly. "I don't - I'm not sure. Let me think about it, okay? I'll text you an answer once I'm in South America."
"Okay," Pikachu replied meekly, unable to stop the slow fall of tears down his face.
Silence fell for a long moment.
"These tears helped bring Ash back to life once," Pikachu whispered. "I wish they had the power to bring us back to life." He sniffed.
All of Adam's empathy fell from his face like a precarious layer of fine sand. "Really?" he asked. "You're going to bring that up now?"
"I'm sorry," Pikachu said, crying harder now. "I should go."
Pikachu headed for the door and Adam didn't stop him.
Pikachu ran for the front door and shouted at everyone as he passed, "I'm sorry!"
Svetlana, who happened to be standing and moving to the kitchen, saw the state Pikachu was in and shouted after him as he moved to exit, "You okay?"
No response, and Pikachu escaped the room. "I better make sure he's okay," she muttered as she followed after him.
Pikachu and Svetlana found themselves at a nearby diner, sharing a giant plate of fries. Pikachu had a tiny paw supporting his head, staring desultorily at the fries.
"Oh, man, I feel like such an idiot," he said morosely.
"Why?" Svetlana asked, pouring ketchup on the fries.
Pikachu poked a fry into some ketchup like he was testing a riverbed for sinkholes with a pole. "Ugh, I went in there with ONE GOAL in mind, just to apologize and get out, but then I turned it into this whole production. I don't know what's wrong with me."
"Well, for one thing, you think of things in terms like that. Nothing's 'wrong' with you, you're just human. Or … sentient or whatever."
"Yeah, but there are many out there who can control their emotions, and I don't mean in some weird Mr. Spock way. Is this what they mean by toxic relationship? That can't be the case, can it? I mean, we both did so much good for each other's careers, if nothing else." Pikachu had begun eagerly eating the fries now.
"I don't know, man," Svetlana said around a huge amount of ketchup with a fry or two thrown in for good measure. "I'm not your therapist, and I've seen you two together for like 20 seconds total. For all I know, the whole relationship was a publicity stunt from the beginning."
"No," Pikachu replied softly. "There was something there. It was good for a while. At one point the whole marriage proposal/album release thing seemed like such a fun idea. I can't remember anything specific that caused it to turn into a chore, and something I dreaded. I didn't wake up one day suddenly realizing that I didn't know if I could go through with it. It was a slow slide."
"It usually is." Svetlana sighed and stared at the fries as if awaiting a profundity from them. Pikachu seemed similarly engaged. "I had this boyfriend once … never mind."
"No, what?" Pikachu asked. "I doubt you can top how badly I've embarrassed myself over the past few weeks."
"Well, he liked to pee on me."
Pikachu stopped mid-raise of a french fry to his mouth. He slowly put the fry down. Svetlana's face was caught in a wince, wanting to take it back. Pikachu folded his tiny paws over each other. "Go on," he urged.
"I mean, not just me. He liked to pee on girls he was dating, you know?"
"Uh huh," Pikachu responded, nodding slowly.
"And at first it was like, I guess it felt like it was cool and subversive, like … we'd be at parties and I'd feel like we had this cool rebellious secret. But then after a while, it just felt like … am I his girlfriend or his urinal, you know what I mean? And it started really eating at me. But I couldn't say anything, or I felt like I'd come across as a square, right?"
Pikachu's eyes had continued to grow larger as he listened. "Uh huh," he repeated, his head slowly nodding.
"Anyway, it finally got to the point where EVERY CONVERSATION we had finally became so difficult and resentful because that was simmering beneath everything, and I guess that made it a toxic relationship, but mostly because I couldn't talk about the real thing that was on my mind."
They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity.
"Y'all want anything else?" The voice of the waitress broke them out of their reverie.
"I wouldn't mind another Coke," choked out Pikachu, while Svetlana shook her head emphatically.
The waitress walked away, and the both of them broke out laughing. "Oh, god, do you think she overheard any of that?" Svetlana asked.
"Oh, all of it, I'm sure," Pikachu giggled. "We're gonna be on headlines now. 'Pikachu and Pee-Girl.' Forget Bennifer, we're gonna be Pi-Pee."
"Shut up," Svetlana choked out, throwing a wadded up napkin at Pikachu.
They managed to comport themselves as the waitress brought them another Coke and dropped off their slip. "Whenever you're ready," she said and walked off.
"What do you think she is?" Pikachu asked introspectively, watching her walk away, "Failed actress? Or is she just content to be a waitress?"
"Pee slut," Svetlana said, deadpan.
Pikachu, having just taken a big sip of Coke, did a spit take. "You can't," he managed, before a coughing fit came on.
"You've got to own it, baby!" Svetlana whisper-shouted, trying not to draw too much attention.
Eventually Pikachu got himself under control. "I just wonder," he said quietly, "like, I've gotten so used to being around people who've made it, whose dreams became real, that it feels like that's the whole world. Are there really more people like her, who maybe WANTED something more but had to give up on it? Like, is it true that you and Godzilla hadn't even heard of us before the concert?"
"Oh, no, that's just Godzilla. If I'd known I was gonna see you, I'd have brought my copy of 'Pikachu Sings the Blues' for you to sign. Huge fan."
"Oh, god," Pikachu said, lowering his face into his paws. "I was so fucking high when we recorded that. That album is shit."
"Hey! Your rendition of 'Hoochie Coochie Man' is timeless."
Pikachu raised his head again. "Granted, I'll give you that one." His countenance grew sad again. "Man. No wonder Adam went for Godzilla. He is SUCH a size queen."
Now it was Svetlana's turn to nearly choke on her drink. "What? But you're … I mean …" she looked him up and down, which took approximately half a second.
"Oh, I KNOW," Pikachu responded, affronted at the memory. "You know Adam, he'd never be cruel or even IMPOLITE about it, but certainly honest. I have all these strap-ons now with names like The Pulverizer and The Dominator. A lot of definite articles in our sex toys."
Svetlana managed around a giggle, "We have turned into a couple of gossipy bitches!"
Pikachu guffawed. "I love it!" Pikachu's face contorted again. "It's nice, being honest. I just, I'm getting so sick of all this overblown shit that passes for normal in my world. Like, ugh, you know what I can't stand? Truffle fries. So overrated. These little crinkly motherfuckers are so much better."
"Oh, I agree. But you know what's great? Truffle OIL on fries!"
"Wait," Pikachu said, confused, "isn't truffle fries just fries with truffle oil on them?"
"I thought truffles were potato-like things. Don't pigs find them in the ground?"
Pikachu looked down, an expression on his face like a cat who'd just been shown an alternate form of physics and it was BLOWING HIS TINY CAT MIND. "Fuck, I don't know," he said quietly.
They both laughed. "I feel like I'm high!" Svetlana shouted too loudly.
"Who knows what oil they put on THESE fries!" Pikachu yelled as well.
They both laughed louder.
"Man," Pikachu said, "maybe that's what we need. We should start a band, maybe something, I dunno, something punk, something angry, not overproduced. Yeah! What do you say?"
"I say that's part of your problem, man. You keep making everything a giant project! I don't want to start a band with you; the last time I played an instrument was the flute in high school, for eff's sake. But I WILL play you some Rock Band if you want. And I'll find my albums for you to sign."
"That sounds great," Pikachu said and dropped some cash on the invoice slip. "I got it."
"Never turn down a free lunch," Svetlana said as she stood.
