Transformers Aftermath

Troll Hunting

"Welcome back Windbags!" Whirlwind greeted her stream.

She watched the monitor as greetings from her chat came pouring in.

~RoboLover: Greetings queen!

~Deceptifan: Hello again lovely lady!~

~GameGuy420: Hey there sexy, giant lady!~

~ChickKiller69: YOU SUCK!~

~Pat Rex 11: I know as an alien you're already out of this world but DAMN!

Machine Fiend: I don't care if I'd die, please sit on my face!

"Thanks for the greetings everyone!" she said as the messages continued to scroll by. "Except for you ChickKiller. You suck!"

She ignored the response and instead focused on starting the game she had planned to play on this stream.

"OK, so tonight I'm going to be playing a game you guys recommended to me, Doom from 2016. Which took a bit to find since there are a whole bunch of games with that name. Why do you humans do that?" she asked, mostly rhetorically. "You know, while I'm thinking about this, it's so weird how much for your media is obsessed with evil aliens coming down to invade you. It's kind of insulting really."

She looked down at the chat and a particular question caught her optic.

"'Didn't the Decepticons come to Earth to conquer it'?" she read aloud. "1) No, we all fell on Earth accidently at first and 2) that's not at all the point."

Again she ignored her chat as the game went through it's many studio screens and finally stated up. After an opening scene.

"Oh come on! I just want to play the game!" she moaned in annoyance.

Eventually though she made it to the point where she could control the character.

"Okay I can move now! Now...where am I supposed to go?" she muttered.

After a bit of trial and error with the first few enemies, she moved the "Doom Guy" into the next room where she found his armor. Once the animatic of the current mission's goal played, she moved into the hallway where a small group of enemies waited for her. She shot round after round as they staggered towards her but despite being in such a narrow location, she managed to miss all of them.

"Oh, come on! Just hit them or something!" she screamed at her monitor.

As she continued to slam the buttons, one of the ghouls reached her character and she was surprised when the animation of the Doom Guy ripping it apart played instead of getting a screen that showed she died.

"Well. That works," she remarked cheerfully.

After she literally ripped through the rest of the enemies she came upon a door that not only gave her a shotgun but lead her to face a slightly bigger demon. As with before she tried to shoot at I but somehow missed every shot she took.

~ChickKiller69: Bitch, you suck at this game! My mom could do better!~

Though she caught the insult in the chat stream, she ignored as she continued to fire wildly at the demon. Though sheer luck she was finally able to blow it's head off.

"Finally!" she gasped. "Now let's hope the rest of this level isn't that hard."

~ChickKiller69: Only for unskilled whores like you!~

She ignored the rude comment again, but her patience was being tested. Instead, she decided to focus on moving the character through a short corridor and into a large room where a few more demons awaited her. She charged into the room with her shotgun blazing but predictably missed every shot until she ran out of ammo and the demons killed her. She let out an annoyed groan as she was placed back in front of the door that led into the room.

Time after time she kept running into the room, making smaller amounts of progress with each effort until she eventually killed all the demons.

"There! Sheesh that was ridiculous!" she sighed.

~ChickKiller69: Your FACE is ridiculous!~

"Well at least I don't hide mine behind a screen!" she shouted when she saw the comment. "Now shut up and let me think! What am I supposed to do now?"

She searched around the room for any clue on how to advance to the next stage.

~GameGuy420: Go to the big mass in the middle of the room and rip the core out.~

Upon seeing the helpful comment, she spun her character around until she found a pulsating mass under a shining light. She moved over to it and after fiddling with the controls for a bit, found the button to rip out a part of the disgusting blob. The second she did more demons appeared in the room! Many more demons in fact and these ones could throw fireballs at her! Of course, she tried to fight them off, but she was killed rather quickly.

"Dammit!" she swore, throwing her controller down in frustration. "Well at least now I know what to do." She sighed again then picked up the controller. "Alright. Let's do this."

With new determination she ran into the firs room and blew the demon away with no problem then charged into the main room. Though she took some damage she was able to kill all of the first wave of demons without dying. Unfortunately, the second wave did kill her again.

And again. And again. And again. And again.

"I GIVE UP!" she screamed in defeat, slumping into her chair. "It's impossible!"

~ChickKiller69: Only cause you're a dumb bitch that can't play for shit!~

"Hey ChickKiller, why don't you shut the hell up?! I'd like to see you do better if you're so good!"

~ChickKiller69: I already did! I beat this whole game awhile ago, and I know I could beat you metal ass all over it!~

"Oh really?! Okay then, private room, you and me! One on one!"

~ChickerKiller69: You're on bitch!~

Despite the warnings from her chat to "not fee the troll", she saved her game then went to the main screen to set up a one-on-one battle.

"Alright you son of a bitch, let's go!" she challenged with probably a bit too much confidence.

Confidence quickly faded when she was almost immediately killed as soon as she spawned into the battle arena.

"Ha-ha, gotcha bitch!" an annoying voiced squeaked out from her headset.

She growled again and gripped her controller tighter at the taunt. Somehow actually hearing the troll's voice upset even more than just seeing his texts. When she respawned, she was determined to get a least one hit in on him!

And about one hit is all she got on him as time after time he killed her over and over again. Every time she would make even the slightly bit of progress, he would appear out of nowhere and kill her. Almost every shot she took missed while every shot he took hit her perfectly.

After about the 100th time he killed her, Whirlwind let out a frustrated wail as she threw the controller to the floor. All while she could hear her opponent's annoying laughter through her headset.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I told you I'd kill you bitch! You suck you stupid robot whore! How's that processor doing?! You can process DEEZ NUTS! AHAHHAHAHAHAHHA! FUCK YOU SLUT!"

"FUCK YOU, YOU SLIMLY FLESHBAG!" she screamed into her mic before abruptly ending the stream.

She crossed her arms over her chest and sat in silence, stewing in her anger. Soon enough, though, she tossed her headset off then jumped out of her set and strode towards her the door of her quarters. She breezed her way through the halls of the Blitzcon base until she was in the main room and stomped over towards Tread, who was sitting behind the main computer terminal.

"Hey jackass, I need your help!" she demanded.

The reddish-orange jeep tilted his head towards her with a bemused look on his face.

"Well, that's a funny way to ask for it," he retorted.

She growled then crossed her arms over her chest and turned her head away a bit.

"Fine. I'm sorry," she said insincerely. "Now can you help me?"

He tapped his chin as he thought about it.

"Mmm...nah!" he waved her off.

"Oh, like you're doing something important!" she shouted and looked at the screen. "It's sure not monitor duty! It's..." she paused as she tried to understand what she was looking at, "...a bunch of disgusting human drawings."

"They're called 'NFTs'," Tread informed her.

"What the scrap are those?"

"They're disgusting human drawings they trade for fake money," he explains.

"That sounds...really stupid," she snorted.

"Oh it is! SOOOOOO stupid!"

"Then why are you...doing whatever is you're doing with them?"

"Because I'm bore and want to mess with humans," he confessed with a mischievous grin.

"And how are you doing that exactly?" she asked, leaning on the console.

"Well you see," he started as he began tapping on the keyboard, "all these hideous drawings are stored on something call a 'blockchain' which...honestly I don't even know what it is. But t's where all the info these things are. It also has the worst security I've even seen even by human standards! So, if I just go in and do few things..."

Whirlwind watched as his fingers flew over the keys and a several different numbers and words flashed across the screen. None of which she understood. Nor did she care to. To the point that she started to zone out until Tread's voice quickly snapped her out of it.

"...and now they're gone!" he proclaimed proudly.

He then pulled up another screen.

"Now watch this," he smirked.

She turned a bored visor towards the screen and watched as panicked messages started to pop up.

~Ape Lover49568: BRO MY APES ALL GONE!~

~BigMoneyMark: WHAT THE FUCK?1?1~

~NFTiddies: My wallet's empty! What's going on?!~

~MoneyMonster: I had my kid's college funds in my apes! My wife is gonna kill me!~

She turned her attention back to the grinning mech.

"You can do all this, but you can't get off your aft to help us do chores around the base?" she chided.

"Cause those things are boring and I don't want to do them," he stated flatly.

"Well, you're gonna help me or-"

"Or what?" he challenged. "You'll tell Ballistic about it? Trust me, he already knows."

Though her mouth was hidden by her faceplate, he could practically feel her devious smile focused on him.

"No, I'll tell Shockblast that you'll be more than happy to help him with his experiments," she threatened gleefully.

A look of pure terror washed over his face.

"You wouldn't dare," he challenged.

She stood up straight and turned towards the hallway then placed a hand near her mouth plate.

"Oooooh Shoooooockblaaaaaaast!" she called out in a sing song tone.

"Okay! Okay! Stop! I'll help you!" Tread said frantically.

"Good!" Whirlwind said before her tone turned serious again. "Now I need you go find a little human germ going by the screen name 'ChickKiller69'."

He paused.

"Did he embarrass you on a livestream?" he guessed.

"Shut up! That's not important! Just look him up already!"

"Alright, alright," he grumbled, already annoyed with the argument.

He typed in the screen name and started searching through various gaming and social media sites. Whirlwind tried to keep up with the information flashing across the screen but all of it went over her head. Instead, she just folded her arms over her chest and tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for the information she wanted.

"OK, I think I've got it aaaaaaaaaand..." Tread paused when he saw the face on the screen, "this is the human you want to go after?!"

She practically pushed him off of the chair as she leaned towards the screen and jabbed a finger accusingly at it.

"Yeah, that's him! That's the little fleshbag!" she snarled. "You sure this is his address?!"

"Yeah, I'm sure," he muttered as he straightened himself out in the chair. "Are you sure you want to go after him?"

"Oooooooh yeeeaaaaah!" she cackled wickedly.

"Do I even want to know what you're going to do to him?"

"Oh don't worry about it. It won't be anything too bad..." she reassured him even as she grinned maliciously under her faceplate.

( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( )

Bryce Preston was a boy who wanted for nothing. His well to do parents were more than happy to give him anything his 14-year-old heart desired. And his heart desired a lot. The most prominate of which was a start of the art computer gaming set up with a subscription to all of the main gaming services. And that was so he could fulfill his other heart's desire: completely destroying people!

"Haha! Yeah fuck you little bitch! You can't beat me!" he screamed into his headset. "But I can beat you like I'm your stepdad after I fucked your mom!"

He was so enthralled with his game play and trash talking that he failed to noticed the approaching sound of helicopter blades. Or if he did notice them, he assumed they were just part of the game. It wasn't until he could feel the house shaking and hear the windows rattling that he realized that it was a real helicopter that was right house his house!

"What the fuck?!" he screamed in shock.

In a panic, he ripped off his headset then ran downstairs and bolted out of the front door only to be greeted with a teal and purple helicopter with full missile racks hovering in front of him.

"BRYCE PRESTON!" loud, angry voice boomed from the vehicle.

A voice that sounded eerily familiar. His suspicions were confirmed a second later when the copter began to shift and change form until a now very familiar female robot towered over him and his house.

"OH MY GOD!" he shrieked in terror then tried to run back into his house.

Unfortunately, his escape was cut off when Whirlwind quickly knelt down and placed a hand in front of the door. She then brought her other arm close to him and racked a missile on her forearm before holding the tip an inch away from Bryce's horrified face.

"Think I'll miss now you little shit?!" she demanded.

"N-no," he whimpered, tears starting to stream down his face.

"You sure?! You sure you don't want to say something smart now?!" she pressed, moving the missile tip slightly closer.

He brought his hands up in a praying motion.

"Please, please, please don't kill me!" he begged, openly weeping.

Whirlwind unclenched her fist so she could grab the whimpering boy and bring him up to her face, standing her ful height as she did so.

"And what do you say to make sure I don't?" she prodded.

"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SOOOO SORRY! IT WAS JUST A JOKE! I'M SORRY!" he blurted out as loudly as he could.

"Do you mean it?!"

"YES! YES! I MEAN IT! I'M SORRY!"

"Will you do it to anyone else?!"

"NO! NO I SWEAR I WON'T JUST PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!" he continued to bawl.

"I won't. This time. But if you do it again, I know where you live!" she threatened.

Her harsh glare turned into horrified shock when she felt something wet suddenly start to run down her hand.

"Are you leaking?!" she shrieked in disgust then quick dropped him to the ground and rubbed her damp hand on the grass. "Organics are disgusting!"

Now that he was free, Bryce immediately sobbing into his house and locked every lock he could. Whirlwind looked towards the house and thought about continuing her harassment but the sound of approaching sirens helped her decide against it.

"Uh oh," she muttered then transformed into helicopter mode. "Just remember Bryce, I could be back at anytime! So BE GOOD!"

She then flew away, hoping to avoid the human authorities and having her little field trip discovered.

( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( )

"WHAT IS GOING ON OVER THERE?!" Rodimus Primes screamed through the view screen. "Sending Whirlwind to attack a human?!"

"I didn't send her to do that! I didn't even know she left the base!" Ballistic insisted.

"Well, you better get a hold on your troops or our truce is over! Do you have any idea how hard it's been to get the humans to trust us on this situation?!"

"Yes, because you won't let me forget," the Blitzcon leader muttered as he rubbed his temples.

"Look," Rodimus remarked as he calmed down a bit, "just make sure something like this doesn't happen again, alright? Because if it does, we will come there to bring you in and you know your team isn't up to fighting us."

"Oh trust me, plan to give her quite a talking to when she gets back," he reassured the Autobot leader.

"Good. Rodimus out."

With that, the screen shut off and Ballistic let out a loud, long, annoyed groan.

"I hate my life," he muttered.

"Can't blame you there," Tread snarked.

The larger bot glared down at his subordinate.

"And just how did she know how to find this human?" he asked pointedly.

"Uhhh..."

Thankfully, he was saved from incriminating himself when Whirlwind came striding into the room humming happily to herself.

"YOU!" Ballistic screamed as he spun around to point an accusing finger at her.

"I didn't do it!" the fembot screamed out instinctually.

"Yes you did! We video evidence you did!" he informed her.

"Wait, what?!" she cried.

In response to her question, Tread pressed a button on the console and a video of her holding up a crying Bryce appeared on the screen.

"Oh what the slag, do humans have to record everything?!" she exclaimed in annoyance.

"Don't put this on them!" Ballistic chided her. "What were you thinking?!"

"It was a heated gamer moment!" she defended herself.

"Oh of course it has to do with your stupid gaming stuff!" he shouted, throwing his hands into the air. "That's it, you're not doing those dumb streams anymore!"

"You can't do that!" Whirlwind snapped, stomping her foot on the floor. "That's how I make my money!"

"WHAT DO YOU NEED MONEY FOR?!"

"More games and a better set up!"

"I...we...you..." Ballistic stammered in complete befuddlement. "No more games!"

"You can't tell me what I can do in my private time! You're not my mentor!"

"And thank Primus for that! But I am your commander and I'm confining you to your quarters and banning you off those streams for month!"

"AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!" Whirlwind screamed in frustration before she stomped off towards her quarters. "I HATE THIS TEAM!"

"JOIN THE CLUB!" Ballistic yelled after her.

She ignored him as she stepped into her quarters, really wished she had a rather door to slam rather than the unsatisfying "swoosh" of the metal door sliding closed. She let out another frustrating scream before she collapsed onto her recharging bed.

"Why do bad things always happen to me?" she asked the universe, even though she knew no answer would ever come.

The End.

Author's Notes: Well here's another "quick fic" that took me MONTHS to actually write out! Ugh I miss the days when I could be super productive and knock out stories or chapters every month.

Oh well, enough of my complaining.

This is an idea I've had in mind for awhile now. Just the idea of Whirlwind becoming a gamer girl amused the hell out of me. Even more so if she were BAD at it! But in that endearing way that actually helped her gather a bit of following.

Speaking off, shout out to my friend Pat Rex 11 for providing the lines as one of Whirlwind's "Windbags". Thanks man!

Course Whirlwind's horrible play through of Doom 2016 is based on my own experience with the game which I finally got this past Christmas as part of the Doom Slayer Collection. Yeah, yeah, I'm late to the party so sue me. But while I'm good at classic Doom, 2016 kicked my ass & I decided to use that as my inspiration for how bad Whirlwind would be at it. Before that, the game was just gonna be some generic FPS style game. So I guess the delay was as good thing after all!

Kinda.

Just let me have this!