The roto jet worked fine and they all proceeded to what Cole liked to call "Phase II" of the battle—yes, with Roman numerals. It was cooler that way.
Through it all, he kept his eye on Jay.
When they all sparked their dragons for the first time, his breath hitched as he watched Jay's flicker. Yet, somehow, it never disappeared.
Somehow, Jay was still going.
He watched Jay as they all plotted their next move against Chen.
He watched as Jay chased his truck down the road until Cole could see him anymore.
Then, he worried.
He worried until they all came together again to stop Chen's army from crossing the dividing line.
Then, he watched Jay.
Watched him as he landed his first punch.
Watched him kick a snake back across the line.
Watched him falter, watched him stumble, and watched Jay pick himself up and launch into spinjitzu.
Through it all, Cole kept his eye on Jay until they were safely back on the Bounty.
Nya retreated to her room "like any sensible person would do"—her attempt to try to guilt them into getting some rest of their own.
Lloyd followed suit. The poor kid had been trying in vain to keep his eyes dry since the loss of Garmadon.
Zane had stuff to catch up on with Master Wu, and Kai collapsed onto the couch with a dramatic sigh.
Jay joined him, slipping into a chair and closing his eyes.
For his part, Cole continued to watch his brother. What he was looking for, he couldn't really explain. Some excuse to take him to the hospital? Some sign that Jay was hurting way more than he let on?
Come on, you already know that's true.
"That was rough," Kai said at last, pulling a nearby blanket over his legs. "Next time y'all want to go to some creepy gladiator island, just leave me at home."
"Sure," Cole replied with a smirk. "Easier on us, then."
"Hey!"
"No offense."
"Some taken."
Cole shrugged. "Fair enough."
From his chair, Jay chuckled at the exchange. It was a light, half-hearted sound, not at all resembling the ninja's usual laugh.
But that was fine. Right? They were all exhausted.
It's all going to be fine.
Craning his neck, Kai glanced back. "How you doing over there, Jay?"
An airy sigh, then: "Fine."
"Sure. How are you really?"
A shrug. Cole waited on pins and needles. "My head still hurts a bit. Zane says that's just a side effect, though, and that my concussion should go away on its own in seven to fourteen days."
"That sounds like Zane." Kai smiled. "Man, I missed that guy."
"You and me both," Cole agreed.
Jay just hummed, eyes still closed.
He's fine. Everyone's fine.
"Don't forget," he went on after a moment, "you promised to let me take you to the hospital once we got off the island."
At this, Jay cracked open an eyelid. "No, you threatened to take me to a hospital and I declined. You worry too much, Cole. I'm fine. Besides, what are the doctors gonna do for me that Zane can't do here?"
Cole forced himself not to argue. Because they weren't going to do that anymore.
Seven to fourteen days.
If Zane thinks it's fine, then it's fine.
Come on, Cole. Jay's right, you worry too much.
When it came to his team, though, sometimes Cole felt he didn't worry enough.
At least Zane had patched up Jay's cuts, putting gauze and surgical tape over that nasty gash. The one that should've been stitched up by a doctor.
"Do you need anything?" Kai's voice shattered Cole's thoughts and he snapped to attention.
"Nah," Jay hummed, "I'm good."
"Water?" Kai persisted, even as he tugged the blanket over his shoulders and shifted into a comfier position. "Want me to change your bandages? We all haven't eaten in a while. Are you hungry?"
"I said I'm fine, Kai."
"All right! Just let me know, though, okay?"
"'Kay."
Seemingly satisfied, Kai closed his eyes and quickly drifted off—if the light snoring was anything to go by.
Jay's eyes also closed again and Cole felt his own fatigue wash over him like a tidal wave. Suddenly, he was drowning. He couldn't keep his eyes open.
But he had to.
Jay. He had to keep an eye on…
… Jay was gone when Cole jerked awake hours later. Kai still snored on the couch, his face hidden in a nest of blankets.
Heart pounding, Cole flung himself out of the chair, determined to find his ailing brother.
Maybe Zane was right. Maybe Jay was fine.
Yeah… Maybe you just have to let him heal on his own.
For some reason, that thought didn't settle well with Cole and he skipped up the stairs two at a time. Though the bedroom door was closed, he cracked it open anyway. Their team relationship had never been one to include barriers. In fact, Cole couldn't even count the number of times they'd barged into each other's rooms back at the monastery without knocking.
Pitch black blanketed the room and it took Cole's eyes a few seconds to adjust. And there was Jay, lying curled up on his bed. Across the room, Lloyd's heavy breathing added to the overall bedroom aura.
Just when Cole had convinced himself Jay was asleep, the lightning ninja cracked open his eyes. "Cole?"
"Hey… You all right?"
"Yeah." Maybe it was just Cole's paranoia, but Jay's smile seemed a bit forced. "It was just too bright out there."
"Oh. Yeah, I guess it was. Just, uh…" Cole hesitated for a moment. It looked like it was taking everything in Jay to keep his eyes open. "Let me know if you need anything."
A tired sigh filled the room. It wasn't annoyed or irritated, just tired.
"I'm fine, Cole."
"Okay." Without another word, Cole slunk out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.
Okay, so maybe Jay was fine. They were all just exhausted from the battle. This always happened: a big crash, then the team slowly got back on its feet again.
You're worried about nothing.
Cole tried to convince himself of this, but Jay's behavior over the following week made it a very difficult task.
First, there came the sunglasses—aka, Jay's newfound sensitivity to light.
"You know," Kai said through a mouthful of cereal the next morning, "if I didn't know you were recovering from a concussion, I'd say you look like an idiot wearing sunglasses indoors."
Jay simply popped his toast.
"I mean, can you even see?"
"Can you even see?" Jay shot back.
"What?" Kai shook his head. "Come in, Jay, I'm serious."
"I can see just fine," Jay replied.
And proceeded to keep the sunglasses on full-time for three more days.
Next came the concentration issues, coupled with very un-Jay-like irritability.
"Kai and I are playing a round of Lava Zombies," Cole said one afternoon. "Wanna join in?"
Of course, Jay did, and before long, the three of them had parked it on the couch with controllers in their hands. For a brief moment, it felt just like old times.
How long had it been since Cole had played video games with Jay? Too long…
But the moment was very brief. They hadn't been playing five minutes when Jay's character died.
"What?" He exclaimed. "Are you kidding me?"
"It's all right, Jay," Cole soothed. "You just weren't paying attention."
"Yeah," Kai added, never taking his eyes off the screen. "And you have, like, five lives, so it's fine. Just concentrate."
"I'm trying."
Cole gave him a light nudge. "Don't worry, Jay, it's all right."
Only, it wasn't. Ten minutes and five lost lives later, Jay's controller was flying across the room as jumped off the couch.
Kai furrowed his brows. "You're giving up just like that?"
Waving a dismissive hand, Jay muttered, "We've been playing way too long, anyway. I'm done with this game."
"It's only been fifteen minutes!"
With a shrug, Jay fixed his sunglasses and stalked out of the room.
Movies were also a bust because Jay either fell asleep halfway through or wandered away—even during some of his favorites.
Finally, there were the restless nights.
Sometimes, Cole would lay awake listening to Jay toss and turn, waiting for the inevitable moment when his brother would groan and slip out of bed, giving up on sleep for that night.
And sometimes, Cole would follow him down to the kitchen, claiming he needed a midnight snack. Jay would just nod and fiddle with his sunglasses.
But yeah, Jay was fine. Any help was rebuffed and any offers promptly rejected.
So, Cole kept his distance, though he never stopped watching. He never stopped aching to help.
You're worrying too much. It's fine.
As time went on, the voice in his head started to sound like Jay. And Cole began to doubt it more and more.
It all came to a head at the end of the week.
Cole didn't remember falling asleep, yet he jerked awake just in time to catch Jay slipping quietly out of the room.
Most nights, it was a debate whether or not to follow Jay. At that moment, however, there was no question in Cole's mind. Seconds later, he was padding down the hall on his way to the kitchen.
Only, Jay wasn't there like usual.
The living room, bathroom, and the gym were also bare.
That's how Cole found himself climbing out on deck at two-thirty in the morning.
"Jay…?" At first, it came out as a hesitant whisper.
Wait a second… Who am I worried about waking up? Everyone's below deck, for crying out loud!
Well, almost everyone…
"Jay?"
Nothing.
"Jay! Are you out here?"
That's when he saw it: the little shadow tucked away in a corner.
As he hurried across the deck, he could practically hear Jay's reply. "I'm fine, Cole. Just lay off already!"
Only, nothing about Jay screamed I'm fine.
In fact, the words that came out of his mouth were the direct opposite.
"Hey, Jay," Cole greeted, kneeling in front of his brother.
When Jay glanced up from his arms, which he'd wrapped tightly around his folded legs, Cole could see thin trails of tears glisten in the moonlight.
Sniffling, Jay shook his head. "I can't do it anymore." His voice was so soft, Cole almost missed it completely. "I can't… I don't know what's wrong with me. Cole, what's wrong with me?"
The desperation in Jay's tone tore at Cole's heart. Gone was any of his previous hesitation as he slid to sit beside Jay and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
"Nothing's wrong with you, Jay. You're—"
"I can't concentrate on hardly anything," Jay went on, voice rising. "I'm tired all the time, except when I want to sleep at night, then I can't. I'm dizzy more often than not. I can't see without those stupid sunglasses or else I'll get a headache—but I already have those a lot anyway, so I guess it doesn't even matter. Sometimes I forget what I'm even trying to do, or where I'm going, or what you said a minute ago or what Nya said or Kai and—"
A choked sob cut his rant short and Cole suddenly found himself on the receiving end of the saddest, most desperate blue eyes he'd ever seen. "I can't do anything right! I can't even sleep right… and I'm so tired."
Whenever Jay got worked up, Cole found it best to proceed slowly and with extreme caution.
"You are recovering from a concussion." The gentle reminder didn't seem to do much for Jay, who only continued down the road to hyperventilating.
"But Zane said seven to fourteen days! It's already been a week!"
"No, it's only been a week. Give it time, I'm sure—"
But Jay didn't seem to be listening. "You mean I have to deal with this for a whole other week? What if it never stops? What if I'm stuck with these symptoms for a month or a year and I end up passing out from exhaustion because I can't freaking sleep—"
"Jay! Jay, calm down! You're gonna be okay."
"Do I look okay to you? What about me right now screams okay?"
"I don't know! Okay, fine, you're not okay. So, let me help you!"
"What are you gonna do, huh? There's no way to fix this, Cole! You can't just fix it!"
"I'll find some way," Cole shot back. "I'll find a way to help you if you just let me! Why won't you let me help you?"
"Because I don't want you to think I'm weak!"
Had the rising emotion not been choking the life out of Cole, the silence would've done it. Thick and unrelenting, it fell upon the two brothers like a fog. They'd get lost in it if Cole didn't find a way out soon, and yet, he wasn't sure he could.
Swallowing, Cole wracked his brain for something to say. Anything, really, but every turn, he was met with a full buzz and a blank slate.
Nothing.
Beside him, Jay took a shuddering breath as he stared out into the darkness.
"Other than Nya and Lloyd," he began, his voice having lost all its fight, "I'm already the youngest one here—the weakest link. The one always screwing everything up. I'm the one who thought I could take Clouse on my own, so I'm the one who has to deal with my own failure. Not you, not Kai, just me. That's why you can't… That's why I won't let you help me." At this, he glanced back at Cole. "I can't be strong if you're always there to catch me when I fall."
Oh, Jay…
Tightening his hold around Jay's shoulders, Cole forced his lips to remain pursed. For the moment, silence seemed more appropriate than words.
He should've followed his gut. All this time… I knew something else was going on.
And you did nothing.
Well, I tried…
Not very hard, though.
"You know," Cole said after a while, "I'm not sure where you picked up those ideas—especially the ones about yourself—but it's not weak to let others help you. Just look at Lloyd. Do you think he's weak because we're helping him grieve his father?"
"Well, no… But that's different."
"How?"
Jay didn't have an answer.
Yeah. Thought so.
"If we'd known how badly you were feeling, we could've helped you. Granted, we couldn't have taken the pain away, but we could've kept the lights off, or sat up with you when you couldn't sleep, or even just been more understanding."
Jay gave a small half-shrug. "I guess so."
"And for the record, the only one who thinks you're the weakest member of the team is you. I just can't figure out why… Care to enlighten me?"
Another shrug as Jay swiped at his eyes. "It's just… I don't know. It's just a thought that comes to me sometimes. I don't know. I'm not strong like you, or handsome like Kai, or smart like Zane, or a good leader like Lloyd. Without my element, I'm not really anything."
"Huh." With a soft smile, Cole looked at Jay. "And somehow, I didn't choose any of them to be my very best friend. I chose you. Are you telling me I made a mistake?"
"No! Yes? Ugh! I don't know!"
Cole couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled in his throat. "Well, I do. Besides being the funniest guy I know, I've seen you do things I'd never dream of doing myself. Your technological and inventing skills are through the roof. You're adventurous and kind and you understand people better than anyone. And, Kai says you can rollerblade like nobody's business."
This got Jay laughing—for the first time that week. "Yeah, but that's just a fun thing. It's doesn't really count—"
"The heck, it doesn't count! What, you think Kai could've helped Lloyd like you did? Lloyd said he couldn't even stay on his feet for more than two minutes!" Sighing, Cole shifted his gaze up to the stars. "What I'm trying to say, Jay, is that we all sell ourselves short sometimes, but that's what friends are for: to remind us of how valuable we truly are. And I never want to hear you say stuff like that about my best friend again—especially when it's not true. Okay?"
Jay was nodding, that was a good sign.
And for the first time since coming home, Cole felt himself breathe easier.
"Yeah," Jay said, his sigh bleeding with exhaustion. "Okay."
"Now, do you really want to fall asleep on this hard wood? I don't know about you, but I spent the majority of Chen's Island sleeping on rock beds and rock floors and it wasn't an experience I particularly enjoyed."
"Ha. Bold of you to assume I'm going to be able to sleep."
"Oh, please, Jay. You can barely keep your eyes open." Standing, Cole offered his friend a hand. "Come on. I'll sit up on the couch with you. Maybe you'll fall asleep, maybe you won't. Either way, at least you can get some rest. And at least you won't have to be alone anymore."
For a moment, Cole held his breath. Maybe Jay wasn't done being obstinate. Maybe he had more to say. Maybe he'd just spaced out again because of the concussion…
Just when Cole's worry began to kick itself into gear again, Jay huffed, then smiled.
Then, he grabbed Cole's arm and held on tight.
