A/N: Apologies for my slow updating! Unfortunately, this is probably how it's going to be for a little while for a couple of reasons. First being that since I'm nearing the end I seem to be writing very out of order, so I've got quite a bit written out...it's just not anything I can post yet. XD The other reason is just...you know, life.

Anyway, this chapter was pretty tough for me to get just what I wanted from it. I think I did it. Hope you enjoy!


Was it possible for a soul to sigh? Teldryn traced a grainline on the door with his eyes as he processed what he'd just overheard. Of all the fucking things...

He massaged his brow. And with all the time wasted going from Milore's house, to his room, then finally ending up here, Modyn was sure to sniff him out much sooner than he desired. He'd been tempted to stop and listen to just what the prattling dunmer woman had to say in answer to Vanya's question but after that little hunt to figure out her location- his eagerness to see her had won out. He would also prefer to satisfy her curiosity himself in this matter. Only it was the last thing he wanted to do right now.

"The banishment has long expired," he said wearily. "The ruling was only twenty years. A pittance for an equally ridiculous situation." He dropped his hand and looked toward her. "A fight, if you can- "

His mouth went dry as he took in the sight of her in whole, a strange feeling coming over him upon seeing her sitting so timidly on the bed, rigid, a wary spark glinting deep within her eyes that he'd only ever seen once. The singular tension in the room tugged at his mind with dreadful familiarity. He'd been in this moment with her before, their first meeting- how could he ever forget?

Suddenly, nothing else mattered except finding the source of that look and getting rid of it- whether it was something in him, something in her, or someone.

"Vanya..." Though he desired greatly to rush toward her and pull her close, his instincts screamed caution. He took a step. Then another.


As he came closer, she tossed his cowl aside and shifted her legs to the floor, her heart wanting to meet him halfway but the rest of her lacking the capacity.

"Why are you afraid?"

Why?

For the same reasons she had always been, for new ones that continually emerged, they followed her footsteps and haunted her thoughts, waking or not. It was beyond her to put the words together to express any of it, as if it could only be spoken in a foreign tongue. He knelt in front of her and the softness that now dominated his expression clawed at her mercilessly, linking abruptly to a fractured memory; a web of dead branches passing overhead, the light that filtered through gliding across the sharp angles of his features, the diffusion making him look almost childlike. She hadn't known in those dazed moments if she was alive or dead in his arms, but one feeling had prevailed. She had wanted to comfort him.

And now, the desire was still there, retreating inside her against her will as he reached for her. He hesitated, then quickly tugged his gauntlets off onto the floor.

"Vanya, what is it?" His hand ghosted across her bandages, the other settling on her waist as he scooted closer between her knees.

The agonizing pressure in her chest battled with his tender affections, crushing her like a vice. She didn't even feel the tears on her cheeks until he wiped them away and she closed her eyes as she leaned into the heat of his palms. Dirt and pine, wrapped in wood smoke- a scent that was not his, a scent that was far away, deep in a verdant forest where she chased after something that she would never have again. She could get so close- so close- until the crippling void under her feet sucked her down screaming. Her hands pawed blindly at the plate of his chest armor, grasping for something to anchor herself as she took a shuddering breath.

"Speak to me, Khes'yi," he pleaded.

She wanted to give him what he wanted, she had tried. She would never have enough. "I wish..." The tremulous words took great effort. "I wish I could go back in time, that none of this would've happened."

He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to hers. "I know."

She shook her head as he pulled her closer, encircling her as he buried his face into her neck. Her skin prickled as the scruff on his cheek scratched at it and she returned the embrace desperately, her attempts to squeeze away the horror crawling over her thwarted by his armor. If she could touch him, if she could just feel him...

Finally, she grabbed his face and lifted it, capturing his lips with hers. She sighed into his mouth as he leaned into her. There.


Relief flooded him as her kiss drowned him like an addict in a skooma den. To have her back in his arms, so soft and sweet, he regretted with his whole heart that he had not been present for her during the suffering she had endured. Her head rolled back into his hand as he roamed her mouth, making up for precious time lost. Gods, how had he left her?

He retreated from her to breathe, grinning as she chased him, pulled helplessly back in as her teeth caught his lower lip. He breathed her instead, trading a few more nips before he pulled away once more, her flushed skin and swollen lips tempting him cruelly. Now was not the time. He caressed his thumb along the slender line of her collarbone toward the shoulder of her injured arm.

"Let me see you," he said with a gentle squeeze. She swallowed as she loosed the tie of her nightgown then pushed the neck down enough to free her arm from the sleeve. He was heartened to see that it seemed to be fully intact, only marked with raised scars in varying darkened shades. Those would fade some in time. "Any pain?"

"Not really," she replied with a light shrug. "They are a little tender if I press on them."

"Good." He dropped his eyes to her leg, shifting away from her so he could undo the bandage.

"No, Teldryn," she said as she stopped his hand. "It's awful."

As if she had to tell him that. He raised a brow at her. "I know."

After a few moments, she relented, busying herself with righting her sleeve as he began to uncover the wounds that concerned him the most, at the same time a bit mystified as to why she did not want him to see. As the deep, sinewy furrows that cut through her flesh were revealed, his only thought was that it was a decided improvement- even if it looked as if someone had tried to carve out her veins. He set his jaw. Oh, he remembered how he had left her.

"I should've- I should've listened to you." The wretchedness in her voice snapped him from his grim reverie.

"What?" He pushed up to sit next to her and she seemed to shrink from him. "What are you saying?"

"All the work you did..." Sharp intakes of breath separated the choked words. "Training- and the armor. I- I did it all wrong."

Absurdly, he had to hold back a laugh at her hysteria. "Khes'yi, stop." He reached out to turn her face toward him, the steady stream of heavy tears running down onto his fingers. "You didn't do anything wrong." She tried to turn her head but he held on. "Please. You did exactly what you should have." Her hand found his wrist, gripping hard enough to nearly make him wince as she finally looked at him. "You did what needed to be done."

If time could stop for him here, lost in the dark, searching wells of her eyes, he was certain that he would want for nothing.


He really believed it. And the sincerity in that deep crimson could almost make her believe it, too. Except he didn't really know, and still he had burrowed through all the defenses she'd built until, in her weakness, she had thought she could let his reality take hold. But it wasn't just him. She had fooled everyone. To correct it now- to move in any direction- would be to sever herself from what tenuous moorings she had managed to create. She didn't want to let go.

She nudged his hand from her chin, gasping when she saw the bandaging on his wrist. "What happened?"

"Broke it," he answered blithely as he scooted nearer on the bed, his other arm coming to rest over her shoulders.

"It's all healed?"

He hummed affirmatively as he flexed it back and forth. "Though it smarts if I bend it just so."

"No, don't!" she cried, snatching his hand into her lap to protect his injury from his ridiculous need to demonstrate, feeling all the more sheepish due to the fact that she'd been practically crushing it moments before. She glanced up at him as he pulled her in closer, his self-satisfied grin making her give him a reprimanding shove with her shoulder. "You're not funny," she muttered, trying to keep her lips from curling up.

"No?" He leaned down to see her face better and she pressed into him to hide the smile she could no longer suppress. "That is unfortunate."

It occurred to her that the fabric against her cheek felt suspiciously familiar and she lifted her head from his chest to see her shawl. "I'll tell you what you are, though," she said as she pushed away from him, raising her finger to his nose. "You're a dirty, rotten liar."

He blinked, looking between her finger and her best attempt at an accusing expression. She reached for the cowl she'd tossed aside and raised it to his face.

"I thought you said you weren't a thief."


"My Lady," he said as he laughed, full and genuine. "It seems that I am in your debt." Ignoring his cowl, he wrapped her into his arms once again, lowering his mouth to her ear. "Whatever can I do to get back into your good graces?"

A shiver coursed through her as her head tilted back, silky hair sliding away to reveal the warm curve of her neck. Softly, he nipped the tender flesh, careful to not make her flinch.

"Teldryn..." she breathed.

There was a knock on the door, a short rap that jarred him like a handful of snow down his collar. He straightened up with a sigh as Vanya scooted away, situating her gown. He'd bet his helmet he knew exactly who it was.

"Come in," he clipped out.

Modyn stepped into the room, tipping his head toward Vanya then leveling his gaze on Teldryn, crossing his arms as he raised a brow expectantly.

"How's Dreyla?" Teldryn asked in feigned pleasantry.

Modyn grimaced a little. "Happier, I imagine." He looked between them. "To my office?" It wasn't really a question and as much as Teldryn would like to tell him off at the moment, the reality of the circumstances outside of this room took precedence.

"Come," Teldryn picked up Vanya's hand as he got to his feet. "You want to hear what happened, right?"

"Is that allowed?" she asked, glancing toward Modyn as she pulled herself up, using his arm for leverage.

"If he wants to hear the story from me, it is."

"Sure," The captain groused as he headed out the door. "I don't make the fuckin' rules."