Notes: Chapter inspired by song I Colori Di Dicembere('The Color of December') by Pino Donaggio
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Present…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
Past…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
Dream…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
*Arigato Gozaimasu: A Japanese word used to express gratitude, politely.
*Otou-san: A Japanese word used to refer to a masculine presenting parental figure.
*Okaerinasai: A Japanese word used as a greeting to welcome someone returning home.
*Tadaima: A Japanese word used as a greeting when returning somewhere you belong.
or
A shortened version of the phrase Tadaima Kaerimashita, expressing the feeling, 'I Have Now Safely Returned Home To You'.
*Haori: a Japanese hip or thigh length jacket, traditionally worn over a kimono.
Act II:
'The Shinobi's Diminuendo, The Color of December!'
.…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
The difference was sudden.
Everything was shrouded in darkness and when I opened my eyes, it was as if I always could have.
As if I had always been here.
I was in a cage, ceiling raised high in the air creating a dome. When I moved my head, I heard the almost muted sound of a chain.
Moving to reach my hands to the slight weight, I was surprised to see white fur and pink pads.
Weakly, I bring my paws in front of my face.
I watched them twitch uncoordinated before rubbing them down my head. Soft paws smoothing down floppy ears.
I was a rabbit.
The feeling of a single lax, chain protruding from my forehead, connecting to somewhere farther than I could see.
My ears twitch.
Looking into the inky abyss around me, I notice a figure walking silently towards me.
Way above them is a glowing sphere, casting light on us like lamps on a stage, seeming to follow noiselessly as they moved forward.
I could only sit, still as stone, watching quietly as they approached me.
The mysterious person opened the cage without resistance, bending down in front of me, they tossed a grey robe over my fluffy body.
The towering adult gently scooped me into their arms, bracing me on their chest as we stepped out of the cage over the remains of a melted lock.
Once we were out of my prison, my savior hoisted me into the air, filling my lungs with breath I didn't know I was missing.
They twirled me, laughing, their face beaming with happiness.
I could finally see them fully.
Pale eyes, long brown hair tied in a loose ponytail and a mark decorated their forehead. They wore a grey robe like the one they have given me.
I felt myself smiling down at them, feeling kinship. I reached out to touch the mark on their face.
As soon as my small paw grazed the mark, it deteriorated, fading from existence.
I noticed a pull of the black chain, hushed obscure sound of bells coming from the depths.
The person's grip on me tightened.
They turned in the direction of the chain, with a serious look. Nodding as if they had decided something and turned, running in the opposite direction, the orb following them above.
I huddled in their arms, switching from watching the person carrying me run, to the chain becoming more taunt the further they travelled.
The moon quivered as a muffled sound hit my ears. I look up, basking in the illumination of the sphere feeling oddly at ease.
The person carrying me slows and thenstops, their gaze following the chain, the sounds coming from the moon, then finally settling on me.
Their gaze never leaves me as they kneel, gently putting me on the ground, reaching into their robe, pulling out white fabric wrapped in a red ribbon.
They carefully untied the ribbon and unraveled a large, beautiful kimono, skillfully made.
Ivory feathers gathered at the shoulders, delicately scattered down the body of the garment, turning sheer at the wrists and ankles, sleeves almost reaching the floor.
They swiftly pulled the grey robe from around me, replacing it with the oversized silky kimono. The moment their hands retreated, I began to glow like the orb hanging above them.
A hallow gasp leaves my mouth as I begin to grow taller, my body turning human, only halting in size as the kimono became the perfect fit. The top of my head reaching eye level with the person standing before me.
Another soft cry from the moon turned my attention above, almost in a trance. That person placed a hand on my head smiling sadly.
"With this, you'll be able to change the flow of your destiny." They spoke for the first time.
"Otou-san"* I heard myself say. Blinking, confused at the tears forming in my eyes.
Reaching up with their other hand, they grab the chain connected to the endless abyss and in seconds it crumbled beneath them, landing on the ground.
I felt myself become weightless, bare feet leaving the floor. I gasp, grabbing that person's hand, my kimono had sprouted wings.
They gently held on, my body being pulled away by the force of my robe, tears flowing freely from their eyes, my lips start trembling.
"I'm so proud of you, Neji." They say softly before letting go.
"Otou-san!" I cried out, our hands brushed together for the last time as my wings gravitated towards the moon.
I was carried high into the air until my father was nowhere in sight, I sobbed into my hands.
The moon was weeping tearfully, but once I lifted my head and my eyes met the shine of the orb, instantly my body relaxed...Why was the moon crying?..
I felt hot tears sliding off my face, floating with me weightlessly into the overpowering light.
Like a spell had wash over me...
Making my mind forget.
Why was I crying?...
…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
'O—tou-san...' Neji woke from his restless sleep with a dull ache in his chest, causing him to inhale sharply, a wheeze audible in his lungs, and the lights above caused a red orange glow behind his lids. There was a heaviness to his movements, evident it had been some time since he had moved on his own, every bone in his body was screaming to stop moving.
The Shinobi sucked in, attempting to breathe deeper, a thick cough impaired that plan. Tears sprung to his eyes, body trembling with every hack. Shakily he tried to turn himself to the side to ease his suffering. The brunette felt the bed dip, someone sat down wrapping their arms around him, helping Neji move completely on his side as he tried to calm himself. Once his breathing had stabilized, the Hyuuga felt a cool glass press to his lips. Throat achingly dry, he started generously gulping down the water offered to him, gasping when he finished.
Opening his eyes had burned, blearily, he cleared his vision, finally adapting to the light of day. Turning his sore neck to look at the person holding him, the Shinobi blinked owlishly. His eyes meeting the pale hued pupils of Hiashi, his uncle.
Though, the sun climbed from behind clouds, Neji could feel the chill radiating from the window. He surveyed the room, identifying it as the Konoha hospital. It was the room his family usually used for the main branch. The awaken Hyuuga looked in astonishment, flabbergasted by the sheer amount of foliage covering multiple tables.
'Where did all of those come from?' His thoughts disrupted by a sniffle, coming from his uncle's side. Standing next to the bed was Hinata crying into a handkerchief and Hanabi sniffling lightly next her.
"Neji-niisan.. I-i'm so glad." Hinata stumbled over her tears. Hanabi made an exasperated sigh.
"Hinata-neechan, quit your crying." She said before returning a equally watery gaze towards him.
"Jeez, Neji-niisan." She glared through wet eyes. "What took you so long."
Relief, confusion, affection and other emotions bloomed through Neji. Hanabi was commonly impassive when it came to showing emotion, he blamed her and his weakened state for the wetness in his tear ducts.
"Neji." His usually stoic uncle spoke, using a tone Neji would hear sparsely when he fell ill as a kid. He looked up at him, Hiashi's arm still bracing his nephew's back.
"Okaerinasai."* He spoke smiling softly, tears brimming his eyes as well.
"T-tadaima."* Neji whispered back voice soft and hoarse from lack of use and surprise by his uncle's show of emotion. Hiashi gently guided his nephew to sit up so he could lean back, Neji's chest felt tight, it was harder to breathe.
"Tsunade-sama should be in to speak with you soon. While we wait, I will fill you in." His uncle spoke in a calm demeanor yet, a hint a worry still in his eyes.
The young Hyuuga confessed he doesn't remember making it to the fight, his uncle launched into his perspective of the battlefield. Neji felt waves of grief roll through him as Hiashi spoke about all the lives that had been lost but his body couldn't help but to relax upon hearing his uncle reveal that his companions were safe. The Shinobi felt a little guilt afterwards, but he let the relief wash over him, his circle of support was still intact. The long awaited reunion was interrupted by a knock, Hiashi called for the visitor to come in.
Tsunade opened the door, the young ninja bowed his head and smiled, upon seeing her, Hanabi and Hinata made their quick escape, shooting their cousin longing looks, unable to speak freely while Hiashi was there. Neji gave them a soft smile, hoping it will help them feel relaxed.
"It's good to see that you've pulled through, Neji. We were all very worried about you." The blonde Sanin said while analyzing the younger Hyuuga. She helped him lay down flat to check his vitals and loosen a few stiffen muscles with a swipe of her ninjustu. The brown haired Shinobi only twitching a couple times when Tsunade passed over more sensitive areas.
"Thank you Hokage-sama. I am glad to have made it as well." The brunette whispered, the slight pause in her movements was the only sign she gave that she heard Neji. When she was done, she helped the younger Hyuuga sit up before taking a seat in a stool placed next to his bed. His body felt a little lighter but the tension in his chest was still there, his stomach flipping oddly once he was sat up.
"You're injury.. Your body has healed from the surgery but... there is a permanent scar on your left lung." The blonde stated.
"The strike narrowly missed your heart and almost obliterated the rest of your internal organs...You were technically dead." She told him making direct eye contact.
"It sounds like... I got very lucky." Neji spoke trying hard not to fiddle with the corner of blanket out of nervousness. His stomach kept lurching.
"We're still not even quite sure how you came to survive...It wasn't luck, it was a miracle." Tsunade paused seemingly to think about something carefully.
"The scar, however, will give you some problems that may or may not have long lasting effects." The blonde Sanin spoke as she pulled out a hand mirror from her pocket handing it to Neji.
"..Also..." She started.
He took it in shaky hands, eyes widening at his forehead devoid of the Hyuuga curse mark. Neji looked at his uncle and back into the mirror to confirm what he saw was real.
"I'm no longer the Hokage, I passed that title onto Kakashi a few months after the war." She paused. There was a knock at the door, she called them in. It was Kakashi, dressed in the Hokage's Haori*.
"Neji. It's good to see you awake." The slight curve in his eye the only way you can tell he was smiling. He nodded at Kakashi, looking at the newest Hokage's hands confused, he carried a small wooden box.
"It would've been nicer if you could've been on time." Tsunade grunted. Kakashi flat out ignored her still smiling. The blonde Sannin cleared her throat and turned her attention back to a sallow Neji.
"...You've been in a coma for 13 months." She said softly watching him. The young Hyuuga dropped the mirror in his hand.
"Comas are common after a lack of oxygen to the brain for an extended amount of time, especially for how long you were told to be dead but we didn't expect you take this long to awaken." The blonde trailed off picking the mirror off the bed, putting it back in her pocket before pulling out a strange device.
"This, is an inhaler. You'll have to keep this on you at all times. You are to use it any time you feel excessively breathless." She stressed while demonstrating how to use it.
"You actually had woken up yesterday, but the scarring on your lung is causing the muscle to be stiff.. You had an asthma attack causing you to go unconscious." She said putting the inhaler into his hand. The young Hyuuga's mask of composure was slipping, visibly shaken he looked up at Hiashi then to Tsunade, complexion becoming paler, she reached out to touch his hand.
Neji was going to be sick.
"Neji...I'm sorry to tell you this... Though we healed you.. The amount of time you spent not breathing and then the coma impaired the focus of healing the damage to your lungs completely. You'll have to qui-" He cut off Tsunade's explanation.
"I think I'm going to throw—" Was the last thing the Hyuuga got out before the blonde medic quickly thrust a trashcan in front of his face.
The brunette promptly relinquished the little water and bile he had in his stomach, hearing her quietly explain to Hiashi that reactions like this were normal for someone who hasn't eaten in months. He felt someone patting his back, he couldn't tell who, his ears were ringing, brain reeling, he had expected maybe a month, deduced from the weather outside, but a year?
'A year. A whole year? It's winter now. I'm 20 years old?...' Neji was lightheaded.
'Would I really have to quit the life of the Shinobi?..' The young Hyuuga thought, riding out the slight tremors in his body.
The three in the room waited for him to grab his bearings, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, face flushed with embarrassment, handing Tsunade the sullied trash can. Hiashi was the one rubbing his back, hand staying in place as Kakashi came closer to the bed.
"Neji.." He started.
He wanted people to stop saying his name like that.
The masked ninja launched into his speech about the speech he was supposed to be giving as the Hokage. Thanking the brunette for his time, dedication to the village and his sacrifice during the war. The brunette couldn't hear a word he said, listening to his heart pump the blood rushing in his ears instead.
Finally Kakashi presented him with the box in his hands.
"Thank you for your service, Hyuuga Neji. What you have sacrificed for your village will always be remembered." There was a hush over the room when the Hokage finished speaking, opening the box before the young Hyuuga.
In the dark wooden box sat his headband, pristinely shined sitting above a scroll with his name neatly written on the front, cradled in dark blue velvet fabric, lining the inside.
The ex-Shinobi bowed his head, his hair slightly sliding out of a loose braid, cascading in front of his face, he took the box in shaking hands. Kakashi stepped back, bowing to the room, Tsunade and Hiashi followed his lead.
"Arigato Gozaimasu*. It was an honor to serve my village.." Neji spoke lowly, unable to meet anyone's eye.
Tsunade was speaking but Neji couldn't hear her over the ringing in his ears, head bowed, gaze never leaving the box clutched in his wavering hands, Hiashi sitting on the bed next to him facing the windows.
"Neji, I understand that now you're going to have to heal through something difficult. The end of ones career as a Shinobi can be hard, their strength and power comes from the heart and it can be a fickle thing, especially when hurt.." Hiashi paused, eyes calculating.
"I've seen ex-Shinobi have very successful lives after being discharged, but I too, have seen my fair share of those who fell into despair." Hiashi speaks, voice sounding tight. His uncle puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes, tears brimming his eyes imagining the temptations and harm that could befall his dear family. Neji sucked in a breath, his throat becoming tight.
"Nephew...I am so sorry I couldn't protect you back then, but... I want you to know I will protect you now." He paused with a serious look on his face.
"I want to support you in anyway I can on your journey to create your own destiny." Hiashi spoke sincerely then pausing.
"The elders want you to lead as head of the Hyuuga clan." Neji's uncle says seriously, the young Hyuuga's only reaction was a twitch of a shoulder.
"You don't have to say anything right now. I'll handle the elders, I just want you to focus on recovering and when you need anything at all, just let me know." Finishing with a slight upturn of his lips. Hiashi stood to walk out before giving the young brunette one last look.
They each had left, one by one, the blonde Sannin promising a visit from Sakura. Kakashi bidding him a quick recovery. When the room had cleared, he lifted his head, fingers still trembling. He didn't want to read what the scroll says, he wanted the box in his hands as far away as possible. The Hyuuga didn't want to think about his dream, or what it meant or his father or his uncle and the elders or what would become of his life now. Though Tsunade had helped with his sore muscles, there was still a dull throb of pain behind his eyes.
He felt overwhelmed.
Scanning the room, the brunette frantically searched for somewhere to set the box in his hands but every surface was covered in flowers and plants of every variety. Leaning his head back in defeat, Neji sank down in his bed, sighing. Gingerly, he put the box down on the sheets next to him, bringing his hands above his face, studying his smooth palms.
'Otou-san...What should I do?..' The brunette plead as a surge of emotions swept through him, consuming his mind in a blanket of confusion and rage.
He didn't often think of his childhood, but the memory of his father, holding him after he had became upset crossed his mind. Remembering how soft and kind his Otou-san was in those moments, always knowing the right thing to say. The brunette felt a deep gnawing need for his tender presence in this moment but, unable to do anything else, the young Hyuuga angrily bawled up his fists, pressing them into his eyelids as hot tears spilled over. The ex-Shinobi felt the heat travel across his ears, cheeks and scalp, frustrated, he wept, hands covering his face, wetness staining his pillow and eventually, the fatigue in his limbs won, sleep washing over him and his thoughts, silenced.
'Papa...' Curled in a ball, Neji slept, lashes holding unshed tears.
…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
It was as if I actualized in space that didn't exist until I did. For a long time it was..
nothingness
Then abruptly, I existed.
Weights that felt like hands, holding me deep down in a hole of the abyss.
Eyes at every angle, staring at me, watching as I lay in a state resembling slumber, surrounded by deafening silence.
Time wasn't the same wherever I was, it seemed as if I had just appeared but also that I have been waiting here eternally.
Suddenly, it was as if someone unplugged a drain. Letting out the icy cold liquid holding me captive.
I heard the sounds of wind blowing through wings, the cool breeze parted my lips, filling my lungs with air.
At first I lay frozen listening to myself.
Breath vibrating, the only sound in the room. Blinking blearily, vision shaky.
I tired to quickly get up, but my body fell on quaking arms.
I wheezed, slowly rising to my hands and knees, eyes brimming with tears. Taking sharp, short breaths, my double vision came to a stop, I open my eyes, gasping at what I saw.
There, in the reflection of the shiny black floor of infinite darkness was a small pale child, no older than 3 or 4, pale milky white pupils and dark long brown hair wrapped in overly big white robes.
I blinked down at my hand, sitting on my heels. Lifting tiny palms off the ground, turning them over, inspecting.
I didn't know who I was or why I was here.
Suddenly I felt a warm sensation like a hand caressing the back of my head. Startled, I snapped my neck back looking for the source, but the warmth was gone turning back to cold.
I saw nothing.
Using my hands to push myself off the ground onto trembling legs, try to take a step, I stumble.
Bracing my hands on my knees, I got up once more allowing my legs to get used to standing fully, still looking around.
I took a timid step in the direction of the warm sensation.
The only sounds that could be heard was the tiny pitter patter of my bare feet meeting the reflection on the black surface. Only endless darkness and my breath could be seen.
I stopped in my tracks as I felt a warm sensation, this time on my hand, a gentle squeeze leaving me cold as fast as it came. Looking around not seeing anything I continued to walk forward.
I walked, never knowing how long or how far as I adventured in the dark.
Hair stood on the back of my neck as I felt eyes. I turned quickly to find the source only meeting darkness once again. Turning back, spooked, I ran into the black abyss.
I ran as far as my legs could carry me until my robe catches my foot, sending me tumbling to the ground. Grunting as I hit the floor, I started coughing, the wind knocked out of me.
I give a hard, wet cough into my hands, my heart beat drumming from fear, absorbing the sound of my wheezing.
Opening my eyes looking at the wetness in my hands, they widen in surprise finding blood.
Tears forming, I squatted pressing my hands to my chest trying to calm myself down.
Without warning a faint voice whisper behind me.
I let out a quiet sob covering my ears, shutting my eyes tightly.
What if I was lost forever?
A hand slithers around in the dark, shackling my ankles in a tight grip.
What if I never got out?
Then around my wrist like chains.
What if I never saw anyone I loved ever again?..
I continued to cry quietly as I felt a hand slide up my back brushing my neck.
Terror struck me, I turned facing the hand rising from the darkness. As if looking back at me, the hand reared back, aiming for my throat, when my ears picked up the sounds of someone else's quiet sobs.
The hand and I stop, I turned my head towards the sound, the hand pivoted, mimicking my motions.
Tears silently falling off my cheeks I stand slowly, walking towards the sound.
A warm gust of air blew as I moved towards the sound, the wind peeled the dark chains off my ankles. I sped up until I was in a full sprint.
"Wait!" I screamed pushing myself to run faster. Shackles evaporating from my wrists allowing me to run even faster.
Panting, I tried to catch up to the mysterious voice crying in the black abyss.
A light flickered in the darkness, like a glowing pinhole leading down a tunnel, I pushed on.
The light flickered off.
"Please! Wait!" I pleaded, dark hands starting to follow behind me.
The glimmer in the distance flickered on again, this time I could see a silhouette, another about my size, standing unfocused in front of the light, head in hands, they were crying.
"Please.. don't cry.. I'm right here!" I shouted desperately.
Stretching my hand out reaching for the mysterious crying child, they stopped, head lifting from their palms.
"Neji.." The edges of child vibrated softly as they spoke, shyly reaching their hand out to meet mine.
I jumped, barely missing the last wave of darkness swiping for my shoulder.
"Lee!" I heard myself cry out.
Suddenly the floor disappeared, I was midair.
My eyes widen, going from in front of Lee, to below them, slowly moving upwards.
"Neji." Lee said warmly, face still shadowed by the light behind them.
Hands made of tiny particles of light materialized and poured from behind Lee, like the wings of a bird, reaching for me.
Floating gently towards the light with both arms stretched out, my fingertips brush with Lee's and intertwine.
Finally coming face to face, I smiled, tears of relief brimming my eyes.
"Lee.." I whispered warmly, leaning forward until our foreheads meet.
My vision turned white.
…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
A: ( _ _ )
