"Named his kid after me."

"Wait what?" Her head leans forward and turns toward him, needing to see the expression on his face. "He named his kid after you?"

"His wife's water broke. She needed to go to the hospital." His right hand moves pointedly above the steering wheel. "He was off doing whatever the hell he was doing."

"Wow…"

She couldn't believe it.

"Elliot, I don't even know what to do with that. That sounds like you guys are getting pretty close there."

She had to admit that she was a little jealous. Aside from the fact that he was supposed to be getting evidence of Donnelly's dirty dealings instead of getting cozy, she hated to hear that he had another partner with whom he seemed to have a great rapport with.

"People are complicated," he'd said. And she could only agree.

"Ain't that the truth."

She knows that he's undercover and that he's doing what he has to, but she can't help feeling this way. She was supposed to be his partner for life, nobody else. After all these years, she still didn't want to be replaced. So much time had passed and they were still relearning one another. Deep in her heart she knows that there is love between them, it was hard to miss. But she wasn't so sure that they could get back to where they used to be.

She thinks back to the day that she helped Kathy deliver Eli. After nine years of having his back and looking out for his family, all she'd gotten was a hug in return while he gets a namesake. She feels petty for thinking of how unfair it all was.

After they find Sara Santos, she drops him to the 3-7. They sit and chat for a bit until Donnelly's slimy ass comes to the window. He lays it on thick and thanks them for bringing the young girl home safely. Her nerves were irked and she just had to say something.

"Well, I gotta tell you, I'm a little jealous. Because Elliot here tells me that you're the second-best partner that he ever had."

She hadn't meant to put that much emphasis on second, but fuck him.
"Really?" He grins, "I have to work on changing his mind about that. See if I can make myself number one."

She hates him.

"Night, kids."

Though she tried to hide it in a joke, Elliot sees right through her. He always had. It's endearing and very sexy, her being territorial and all. Letting it be known that she was still his number one. He's grateful that she feels that way about him, even now. They used to give each other hell when it seemed that the other was getting too close to another, him more than her. If this were eleven years ago and the roles were reversed, he'd probably be rolling the window up in Donnelly's face right now.

Once Donnelly's gone their eyes meet. He thinks that she can probably see the fire behind his, but doesn't want to overstep any boundaries. He wants to keep moving at her pace, so he averts his gaze as soon as his eyes fall to her kissable lips. They've gotten closer since he's been back, but this dynamic was so different. He couldn't take any chances for fear of fucking everything up again. The ball was in her court.

Two days later he's knocking at her door. When he found out that she would be off today he insisted that he bring food for them and they'd have a lunch date.

"Make it brunch," were her words because who doesn't love brunch?

The door swings open and she stands there in a tank top, grey leggings, and a cardigan. He looks down to see her bare feet with her toes painted a light pink and he finds her adorable. She's much more comfortable with him being in her safe space now that he's met Noah. Plus, he's only staying for a couple hours, so that's a comfort in itself. She could handle this new dynamic in increments until she felt secure enough to maneuver freely with him. However, once they're sat down eating and talking, it all feels so right. Brunch turns into lunch and he's called out for the rest of the day.

"This is nice," she says bringing the flute filled with mimosa to her lips.

"Yeah," he looks at her with that cute smile and she feels butterflies in her stomach. "We should do this more often."

"I…" She'd love nothing more, but can't deny that she's afraid of getting hurt again. "Honestly, I don't know if we're ready for that. There's still so much that needs to be said."

"Let's talk then." She doesn't sense any judgement in his tone, so she pushes forward.

"Well," she pauses looking for the right words to say. She doesn't want to come down on him but she has to be honest if this is going to work. "I guess I'm afraid of getting hurt again. Of you leaving."

"Liv, I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

"El, I want to believe you but I can't help this distrust I feel inside. All those years ago, I never expected you to just up and leave me, but you did."

Tears begin to brim in both of their eyes as she continues.

"I want us to be close again, maybe even closer than before, but I'm scared." She looks up to see him staring into her soul, listening intently. "I trusted you with my life and you abandoned me. You left me feeling like everything we went through was all in my head. Like it meant nothing to you. Like I meant nothing to you."

Her tears started to fall. He wants to reach over and grab her hand, better yet get up and hold her tight, but he knows that she isn't finished.

"I still trust you with my life, but I don't know if I can trust you with my heart."

"I hear you Liv and I don't blame you one bit." He takes a deep breath. "I was struggling with my role in life. Being a father, a husband, a partner, a man. Shit, I'm still struggling with it all. I did what I thought I had to."

"I just hate that you thought you couldn't talk to me. I called nonstop and not once did you let me know that you were alright." She wipes the new tears away, "I had to hear from Cragen that you were gone."

"I'm so sorry Liv, I hope you know that." He finally reaches for her hand. "Not a day went by that I didn't think of you and wonder what your life was like without me or who had your back. After a while, I kind of felt like it was too late to reach out. I didn't know what to say to you."

Sometimes late at night he'd think of her wrapped in the warm embrace of another man while he lay next to Kathy and it burned him up inside. How he'd made it ten years without her presence was beyond him. But she was never truly gone. Physically, he couldn't see her, touch her, smell her, or even speak to her, but she occupied his mind day and night.

"I've been working on my shit and I plan on continuing." His thumb brushes over her knuckles before he releases her. Her newly bared skin feels cold in the air of her apartment and she misses the contact instantly. "All that aside, I want you to know that I'm here. In whatever capacity you choose to have me, I'm yours. Always have been."

She knows that he's been working on his temper and thinks that therapy seems to be paying off for him. It fills her with hope. She decides to save the Lewis conversation for another time.

"Well, I've already forgiven you, but I still have to be cautious." He nods understandingly. "For not only my sake, but my son's too."

He gets it. How could he not? Over the years he's learned more about what it means to do what's best for your children. There was never a doubt in his mind that Olivia would be the best mom. He sees how much she cares for Noah in everything she does and he's proud.

"I understand and I want you to be able to trust me. By the way, I'm proud of you. Mom looks good on you."

Of course, he was back to flirting. She rolls her eyes playfully as a blush creeps up her chest. She can feel his eyes still on her so she looks over to meet his gaze. They're locked in and this time Elliot can't look away. She's so vulnerable in this moment and he's seeing her in a way that he hasn't in so long, his drug induced visit not included. She's dressed down and soft.

Her cardigan was slowly falling open to reveal a sliver of her cleavage and his cock twitched. Get it together Elliot, he thought. He shouldn't be reacting this way to a miniscule amount of skin. But what could he say? He'd always reacted to her this way. Secretly (not so much), clamoring at any opportunity to see her in rare form. The only difference is he doesn't have to hide it anymore.

She catches his eyes lingering and has to clench her thighs to fight the sudden throbbing between them. She tracks his stare as it moves up her chest and neck, landing on her lips. She realizes that her bottom lip is trapped between her teeth. Quickly releasing it, her tongue flits out nervously.

"You uh-"

"So-"

They speak at once.

"Oh, sorry."

"Sorry, you first."

They both chuckle before he starts.

"I was just gonna ask when you need to pick Noah up."

She taps her phone screen to see what time it is. He's been here for hours but she's not ready for him to leave yet. "Lucy's taking him to dance practice and that's over at six."

"So, you've got some free time?" He hopes that wasn't too presumptuous.

Her chest is still heaving and he sets his jaw attempting to stay focused on her face. At least looking at her lips he could pretend that he was paying close attention to her words.

"A few hours, yeah."

They could do a lot in a few hours. His mind was drifting again. He needed to get out of here before he embarrassed himself but he didn't want this to end. He thinks of things they could do outside of her home where there were a plethora of surfaces that he imagined fucking her on.

"What do you say we tidy this up and catch a movie?" His hands make a gesture toward the food on her table. "I'll take you to get Noah and drop you guys home after."

She opens her mouth but nothing comes out.

"Only if you're okay with that," he quickly adds.

He'd sensed that she was hesitant, not knowing that she was mentally correcting herself before blurting out something extremely forward and dirty. "That's okay with me," she says softly. "I just need to change."