An Edgy comedy adventure game, inspired by classic romance dating simulators and visual novels. Every decision changes your story and every character is aware they are in a dumb fanfiction. There's also Smash Mouth and handcuffs.


"Oh my god." Mirajane fluttered her eyes to her roommate, openly gawking at her cell phone. Cana was sitting in the opposite bed on the other side of the room, mouth unhinged and open, her cell phone replaying a video repeatedly. "Men are so fucking weird nowadays." Mira's interests were utterly peaked at that point.

She scrambled across the dorm room, practically plowed over Cana, and snatched her phone. "Let me see," Upon redirecting her eyes onto the cell phone screen, Mira was completely floored. "Oh…"

Cana was, of course, on Tinder. Swiping through a thousand men's profiles on a daily basis was pretty much the other woman's only hobby other than drinking like a divorced man in his forties. But that wasn't what had the two on Cana's bed giggling; it was the profile she'd landed on.

"This app is Hell" was all the bio read and featured a devilishly handsome and long dark-haired man. "Gajeel" was the name underneath the pictures, and there were only four uploaded. A selfie with him showing off his multiple face piercings. A group mirror photo of him with what Mira assumed were his friends. There was a tall blond-haired brute holding a bottle of vodka taking the picture, a raven-haired looking like he was in the middle of falling, and Gajeel throwing up a peace sign with his arm locked around a green-haired man's neck. A snap video of him with glasses on looking like he was in the middle of walking to class. And the last video was of Gajeel holding a white guitar with his hair slicked back. But the icing on the cake was the song he chose to perform, All-Star by Smash Mouth.

"He's actually pretty hot," Cana said, still giggling. Mira hummed at this and flicked back through the pictures.

"He's not usually your type. I thought you'd think the other dark-haired guy was cute."

"They're all hot, really. You don't usually see such a good-looking friend group." Cana took her phone back and swiped right. They waited for the app to flash that it was a match, but it just continued on to the next man. "Shit, we really didn't match?"

"Maybe he hadn't seen your profile yet?" Mira said with a chuckle, "Or he doesn't like brunettes."

"To hell with that. All guys like brunettes."

"Most guys prefer blondes." Cana rolled her eyes and pushed Mirajane off her bed.

"Shut up. If I see him around the university, I'm totally calling him out for it." Mira raised an eyebrow in amusement, knowing full and well Cana would chicken out if she saw him in person.

Oh, how wrong she was.

Literally the next day, Gajeel was seen with the blond on his way to class. Mira tugged on Cana's book bag and pointed to the buff man with a red bandana wrapped around his head. "Look!" It was like fire caught in Cana's eyes the moment she saw him, and within seconds she was snapped in front of him with her arms crossed over her chest.

The two men froze in confusion as Cana eyed them up and down. "Blondes or Brunettes."

Gajeel answered, "Neither." Simultaneously, the blonde answered, "Both."

"Wrong answers." Gajeel crinkled his nose up.

"What the hell is this?" Cana pulled her phone out and shot Gajeel her Tinder profile.

"Either of you seen this profile?"

Gajeel answered, "Swiped left." Simultaneously, the blonde answered, "Swiped right."

Cana glared as she lowered her phone. Mira made it then and giggled, placing a hand on Cana's shoulder to calm her down. "Good morning, you guys. Sorry if she's bothering you so early in the morning. This is Cana. My name is Mirajane. We're both visual arts majors. And you two?"

The blonde spoke for the pair with a smirk plastered on his handsome face. "Laxus and this is Gajeel. Welding engineer majors. And it's fine." Gajeel cracked an eyebrow up at Cana, and she cracked one back at him.

"What's with the awkward question?"

Cana shrugged, tucking her phone into a pocket on the side of her bookbag. "We saw your profile last night. Thought we would have matched, but I see you have a preference."

"Your profile said if you put pineapple on your pizza, swipe left."

"Ew, hell yeah. I'm glad you swiped left."

"So," Laxus said, cutting into their conversation, "You guys on your way to class or?" Mira nodded.

"Our first class is at eight." She glanced at her phone for the time. "And it's already seven fifty-five, so we better get going." Mira bowed and bid the two boys goodbye with a pull at Cana's shirt collar. "It was nice meeting you two."

Laxus and Gajeel watched them leave before exchanging glances at each other. "What an interesting pair." Laxus joked. Gajeel huffed, his eyes catching Mirajane's retreating figure, and grinned.

"Yeah, but I like 'em."


Gajeel had grown immensely interested in the silver head maiden who saved him from the roaring brown spitfire that morning. He had only been in college for a couple of weeks and was already developing a crush on someone. He found that hard to believe, considering he wasn't a huge person on romance and had only ever dated one person. Besides, he found talking to girls a hassle with not really knowing what to say.

But Mira stayed in his mind often. He was disappointed they didn't bump into each other again and even more disappointed he never found her profile on Tinder, no matter how many times he swiped or played around with the settings. He even bought the premium to see if she liked him but was left empty-handed.

"Well, "Gray was saying, his back pressed into their refrigerator. Gajeel was standing with him in their apartment's kitchen, eating a hot cup of noodles. Freed was sitting across from them, his nose stuffed into his classwork, only glancing up when they got too loud. "She's probably not the type to get on dating apps. Besides, I don't peg Mira for the type to use Tinder." Gray knew Mirajane. Actually, the majority of the university knew Mirajane. Gray didn't know her personally, but he did know of her. You could say she was a little bit of a local celebrity. She had a growing internet presence and apparently was the salutatorian from her high school. Gajeel wasn't really one to focus on other people and rarely talked with anyone other than his roommates, but Mira was wholly something different. "She's got that whole girl next door innocence too. She probably likes to keep it that way since she's a growing influencer."

Gajeel stuffed a fork full of processed ramen in his mouth and shrugged. "Then I'll just walk up to her and talk."

"Her fan club would kick your ass."

"Of course, she has a fan club. What is this is? A shojo anime from the mid-2000's" Gajeel rolled his eyes, dumped his empty cup into the trash can, and shot his eyes over to Freed. "What do you think, Justine?"

"Six more chapters until you get to the beach episode." Back to Gray.

"Just invite her to the party on Friday." Gray shot Gajeel a lookup and down, "You are going to the party, right?" Gajeel wanted to say he wasn't going to the party, but Gray had already shoveled down his throat a lengthy list of threats (promises Gray called them) of what was to come if he didn't show up.

"I'm going," Gajeel said with a sigh. "But ain't goin' cause you're forcing me to. I just want an excuse to try and hang out with Mira."

Freed spoke up, "Because asking for a coffee is too much in this day and age."

"Conventional courting is ass."

"It's coffee, Gajeel."

Gray pushed off the fridge and rounded the bar island that separated them from Freed. "I agree with Freed; you don't have to use the party as an excuse to talk to her. Just ask her out on a regular date."


Gajeel, couldn't even ask Mirajane out to the party, let alone coffee. His friends placed absolutely too much trust in his charismatic capabilities. Because of his inability to talk to the opposite gender, he stood in the middle of some frat boy's house, looking lost and confused. He passed the time by making a mental note of how many people showed up as batman. Sure, this was a costume party, but it was obvious who took time to think about who they wanted to dress up as and who just threw something together at the last second. Gajeel was the latter, he had absolutely no room to talk about the twenty batmen, but he was still going to rant about it in his head.

He was able to find a half-assed cop costume at his local party store at the last moment and went with it. It even came with a real pair of handcuffs. Gajeel liked to think his outfit fit him and that he wasn't like the other half-asses who just bought the first costume they saw. His costume resonated with his ability to stand in one spot and stare menacingly at the crowd of fraternity students for over thirty minutes. But the moment Mirajane Strauss strolled up next to him by the punch bowl, sipping a highly suspicious red plastic cup, he had to put his authoritative skills to the test.

"You underage drinking?" Mira fluttered her cerulean blue eyes up to Gajeel. As if to test his patience, she took another casual sip of her drink. Gajeel swept his eyes over her cute little devil costume (a red corset, black pants, devil horns, and a tail) and then back to her lips, taking another sip.

"I'm twenty."

"That's underaged."

Mira hummed. Another sip.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty."

"You should have a drink." Another sip and then a grin. "You know, to calm your nerves." Gajeel couldn't fight the urge to smirk back down at her.

"I'm feeling better already. But since you're breaking the law, I'm gonna have to put you in handcuffs." Mira downed the rest of her drink, threw the plastic cup into the wrong recycling bin, and pushed her wrists out to Gajeel.

"Oh yeah? Do it."

Clink!

Mira blinked down at the silver cuffs clamped around her wrists and then to Gajeel, smirking deliciously. "Well…I wasn't expecting you to actually do it."

"You can be my prisoner for the rest of the night. Where ever I go, you gotta go."

Mirajane Strauss had joined your party.

Mira sighed and dropped her hands. "Well, if you're going to hold me hostage, at least make it fun." Gajeel eyed over the frat party scene, with Laxus in the middle of participating in a game of beer pong. Tugging on the chain in between the cuffs, Gajeel grinned and pulled Mirajane along with him towards the blonde. "What are we doing?" Gajeel only grinned.

"We're gonna enjoy the party. Maybe go around, talk to a couple random people. Maybe increase their love interest in us."

Laxus turned and looked down at the two with an amused gleam in his eyes. "Mirajane, was it? Glad to see you at the party." He looked down to Gajeel, holding her by the cuffs, and chuckled, "And having fun, I see."

Mirajane peered down to the cuffs, subconsciously, and then back up to Laxus. "I was caught underage drinking, so Gajeel put me in handcuffs." Laxus looked over to his friend, who passively smirked before looking back down to Mirajane. This fucker had one hell of a way to flirt.

"What were you drinking?"

"Whatever is in the punch bowl."

"So just island punch. About a whole bottle of strawberry vodka, pineapple vodka, cranberry juice, fruit punch-"

"Yep, all of that."

"Come alone?" Mira knew immediately what he was really asking for. She pointed over to the kitchen where Cana was seen parting her heart out, smashed between two random men. Obviously drunk.

Mira peered back over to Laxus, watching with awe, and said, "I came with my best friend. We parted ways when I saw Gajeel standing alone and when she saw an open kitchen with bottles of alcohol."

"Then I have a quest for you two," Laxus said with a grin. "Hook me up with Cana."

Gajeel grinned at that and darted his eyes over to Mira. "Heard that, first path of the night." Mira giggled and trailed off after Gajeel as he started for the kitchen. They rounded a row of bar stools and shuffled over to Cana, laughing at whatever a blue-haired tanned man said.

When she saw them approaching, she waved a hand at them. "What's up, guys?! Having fun?" She said with a cheeky grin as they trotted up. "Frat boys definitely know how to get wild."

Gajeel leaned down into Mira's ear, cupping his hand around his lips so Cana couldn't hear them. "Okay, we're officially making game choices. Cana's your best friend. What would be an appropriate response?"

Mira nodded her head determinedly, "Hey girl, are you a beaver? 'Cause damn!" Not exactly what Gajeel was expecting her to say. Gajeel quickly pulled Mira back before Cana could say anything.

"That's one of the default bad responses. You're not supposed to say those." Mira shrugged.

"You said to pick the appropriate response; look, it worked." Next to Cana's head, a love interest gauge slightly went up. Gajeel rolled his eyes.

"You know what this party needs," Cana said when they turned back. "A costume contest."

"This," Gajeel annotated for Mira, "Is the part where we start intertwining missions until ultimately you forget whose path you're supposed to be working on."

"So we must stay focused on the main goal for Laxus," Mira whispered back.

Gajeel turned back to Cana, eyeing them weirdly. "If we get a costume party started, you gonna do whatever we say? That's typically how this is supposed to go?"

Cana shrugged, "By that time, I'll most likely be toasted. I'd take a belly shot off Reedus if you asked me to."

"Perfect." And with that, Mira and Gajeel were off again. They zig-zagged throughout the frathouse over to who Gajeel knew was the host of the party, Natsu Dragneel, obnoxiously in a dragon costume. He was standing by a keg, urging whoever it was to chug down the contents until beer spewed out of their mouth. Gajeel cringed at the scene, hoping he didn't have to spend too much time here with Natsu. He grabbed the pink-haired jock and pulled him off to the side. When the other man gave the two, his undivided attention Gajeel immediately went in.

"Yo Natsu, how's the party coming out?"

"Have you looked around?" Natsu said with a silly grin, "Everyone is having a great time. You two need anything?" Gajeel looked over to Mirajane, looking as if she was scanning the speech options through her brain.

When she landed on one, she started, "We were walking around and heard a couple of people mentioning a costume contest." Natsu shot them a confused expression and scratched at the back of his head.

"I didn't have one planned, but I guess a costume contest would make sense if this is a costume party." He dropped his hand and looked over the house, "Yeah, but what should we give the winner? Shouldn't they win something?" Gajeel went to say something, but Natsu cut him off, "Find me something for the winner, and we'll get this contest started."

"This is your house."

"Yeah."

"You okay with me rummaging through your shit?"

"As long as I don't see it." Gajeel cringed.

"I don't like that."

Mira clanked her cuffs, catching the other two's attention. "What if," She said brightly, "Natsu, you come with us!?"

Natsu Dragneel has joined your party.

Gajeel stomped up the stairs towards Natsu's bedroom, Mirajane, and Natsu in tow behind him. Natsu walked over to his bedroom door and jiggled the doorknob without budging. "Looks like the door is locked." He said, looking back at Mira and Gajeel.

Gajeel waited for the pink-haired boy to pull out a key and unlock his own bedroom door, but he just stood there staring back at him. "You don't know where the key is, do you?"

"If I opened it, the mission would be over too quickly, and that would cut playtime by an hour."

"An hour?" Mira repeated.

"You know, finding random objects all over the map, hidden in dumb ass places."

Gajeel cut Natsu a funny look and sneered, "We ain't worried about playtime-" Natsu quickly gripped Gajeel's shirt and tugged him forward.

"Look, man, just let me stay in your party a little bit longer! She never lets me be one of the main characters in the story, and I'm the original main character! I don't wanna be just an idle NPC! Let me have some screentime!" Gajeel shoved the babbling jock off and turned on his heel, looking down the hallway for another room.

They all opened a couple of doors, cabinets, and even the bathroom, but no key was found.

"This is why walkthroughs exist," Gajeel grumbled.

"Oh!" The crew all turned over to a potted plant in the corner of the room, a light twinkle reflecting off of absolutely nothing. Mira walked over, grabbed the key, and held it up in a victory pose.

Obtained bedroom key

Rummaging through Natsu's room was absolutely pointless. He had jack shit. Gajeel grew impatient as time went on, and nothing was being found. He glanced over to Mirajane, hunched over Natsu's bed, shaking out pillows. He stifled back a laugh. He was too busy playing into the bit that he had forgotten he was actually spending time and talking to, hands down, the most gorgeous woman in the university. He watched in awe as Mira tucked a silvery strand of hair behind her ear, feeling his eyes on her, and turned to look at him. Gajeel could have died and gone to heaven. She was too fucking cute. And the light, silly grin she gave him, pillow clenched in cuffed hands, was priceless. There was no wonder why he had a kiddy crush on her.

Natsu opened a drawer in his dresser and pulled out a twenty-dollar bill. "I guess twenty dollars is fine." He grumbled, looking back over to the other two.

"For a last-minute contest, that seems about right," Mira said.

"Alright," Natsu said, filing out of the room and back down the stairs. "I'll go get this contest started." And off he went.

Natsu Dragneel has left your party.

"We should go tell Cana her quest was completed," Mira said over to Gajeel beside her.

Gajeel didn't move and just stood staring out into the sea of college students. Mira raised an eyebrow at him, but all of a sudden, Cana came strolling by.

"You guys actually got a contest going!" She yelled over to them in excitement. "That's so awesome! You guys have totally gained my trust."

Mira blinked back at the acquaintance gauge beside Cana's head, swapping to friends. "I thought we were already best friends…."

"So," Cana said to Gajeel. "What was it you wanted me to do?" Gajeel pointed over to his blonde friend standing by the kitchen, eyeing them longingly.

"Laxus wanted to talk to you; guess he's into you." Cana contempt this before shrugging.

"I guess I do owe you one." She gave Laxus a small smile, watching his face perk up like a happy dog. "Alright," She said, chuckling, "I'll go have a drink with him."

Gajeel and Mira watched Cana join up with Laxus, the golden retriever all too excited for her attention. Mira giggled before turning to Gajeel beside her. "Well, I guess that was kind of fun. Thank you, Gajeel." Gajeel peered down at the silvery woman and smiled.

"Sorry I had ya cuffed the whole time," He pulled a key out of his pocket and swiftly unlocked the cuffs around Mira's wrists. She immediately rubbed out the slight pains, falling into the awkward silence now between them.

"You know," Mira finally started after a while, "I thought your profile was kinda funny." Gajeel huffed at that.

"Yeah, well, I couldn't find yours."

"I… don't do the online dating thing." Curse Gray and his ability to read people fairly well. Gajeel could almost hear the overconfident prick laughing in delight at his correctness.

Gajeel eased himself against the wall behind them and crossed his arms over his chest. "I heard you're a little bit of a celebrity around 'ere." Mira visibly cringed at that. "Fan club and whatnot."

"I post on Instagram occasionally. I guess you can say I have a little bit of a following." Mira leveled her eyes on him, taking in his features. She was finally able to get a really good look at him in person. She found his multiple-face piercing intriguing, having never really seen anyone with so many before. From his long messy black hair, thickly built muscle, and taller frame, it was no brainer he was attractive. Mira had always gravitated to the more rugged-looking men, the bad boy type if you must. Not for the thrill of entertaining someone who was arguably the most toxic beings on earth, but because she enjoyed feeding into the Wattpad good girl stereotypes. If she was going to be the textbook definition of a good girl with good grades and a pretty face, she might as well play the role to the fullest. Besides, bad boys were hot. That's good enough reasoning.

Gajeel pulled out his cell phone and handed it to her. "Add me. I don't really post often. Well, I post whenever I feel like recording a song." Mira's eyes twinkled as she took the cell phone out of his hands. Not only was he a bad boy, but a bad boy musician. Double the Wattpad points! It was only then that Mira remembered the picture of him from his profile, holding the guitar.

"That's right," She mused, "You play the guitar." She typed in her Instagram and pressed follow before handing Gajeel his phone back.

A few followers, his ass! Mira was locked and loaded with half a million simps waiting and at least half of that many likes on every picture! Any guy would be hovering over his phone, waiting for a notification stating she posted. Mira was practically a model, posing in various skimpy outfits around town or in front of a backdrop. God, she was gorgeous.

Mira caught him staring and grinned devilishly. "Like what you see." She teased in a sing-song voice. Gajeel didn't even try to hide it.

"Hell yeah," He groaned. "You're fucking gorgeous." Mira blushed a little at his straightforwardness, but her grin only darkened.

"I have some photos I haven't edited and posted yet if you wanna see."

"Hell yeah." Mira obliged, whipping her phone out and tapping away to her photo gallery before handing Gajeel the device. He nearly fainted. This silver goddess was clad in only a tiny ass swimsuit, posing all sexily at the edge of a pool. Gajeel flickered through the pictures, the poses slightly changing, lingering on a shot of her peering back at the camera over her shoulder. "Fuck." He grumbled.

"You better not get hard over there." She giggled, still enjoying his reactions.

But much to her surprise, Gajeel lowered the phone in front of his face, eyed Mirajane straight forward, and said with all seriousness,

"I can't."