DISCLAIMER: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I just love playing around with the characters we all know and love. :-)

Authors Notes:

***REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW Chapter 20, up to this point, has received over 40reviews! Thank-you all so much. You are all awesome.

***So many fans are 'GUEST' readers so I never get to respond to your reviews directly so I will do it here. Most of your comments of being impatient waiting for my updates honestly make my day and always make me laugh. ;-) ;-) I LOVE how much loyalty you all have to my story. (Samantha, Charlotte, Brit, Guest... just to name a few). If you can, get an account so I can comment to every loyal review you send. Thanks for the smiles. :-)

***After posting my last chapter I got over 4200 views in just 12 hours. WOW. :-) That is more than double on any other chapter post I've ever done...for any story. THANK-YOU all... I love how much of a following you are all giving this story. Lots of Love...

***People may have noticed I changed the rating on this story last chapter. Honestly I probably should have done it sooner considering our beloved Edward's tendency to swear a lot. Lol. Anyway the story will probably have more 'adult themes' now. Fair warning...

***SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY. Everyone in my house was HORRIBLY sick and I've been working A TON over the last few weeks. Lots of employees were out sick and others had to be let go/quit for other issues. After all of that I had family in town, staying with me, for almost 2 weeks. 5 kids, 4 adults, and a rottweiler all under 1 roof. I'm surprised I got any sleep. Lol. Ugggg. This chapter was also difficult to write. Sorry again and thanks for the patience. I have been doubting it for so long, worried it's not perfect but eh screw it. I don't want to keep you all waiting any longer. :-)

***My fanfiction "Elementary Law" was nominated in the 2018 Twilight fanfiction contest for Favorite Undiscovered Gem Fic

Voting closed on February 17th at 11:59 EST. Unfortunately I didn't make it to the second round :-( None of my favorite stories made it either. :-( So sad...

****LEMON ALERT THIS CHAPTER!****

CHAPTER #21: Imminent Domain

BPOV

PREVIOUSLY IN CHAPTER #20 (EPOV)

"Bella?" I pulled back immediately, removing my hands from her completely. She instantly covered her face with both hands and curled up as small as she could.

"Oh God." She sounded mortified. Fuck... what had I done? She was okay until I got under her underwear? Was that to far? That was the line wasn't it... God dammit.

"Baby..." I stroked her hair and she shook her head, still not looking at me, so I stopped touching her. I'm not going to lie, her not wanting my touch hurts but whatever she needs... "Bella I'm so sorry..."

"Please don't apologize." What?

"Beautiful?" She shook her head so I waited as she took a couple deep breaths and seemed to slowly calm herself down except her hands stayed up, covering her eyes. I readjusted so that I was laying next to her, both of us on our sides towards each-other. I tentatively guided her body close to me.

Please look at me baby...

She followed my wordless guidance but stayed hidden beneath her hands.

"I'm so sorry." Why is she apologizing?

"No... I pushed you to far. I'm sorry."

"Edward... you didn't..."

"No, I knew you had reservations about this. I shouldn't have..."

"That's not..." She interrupted with a sad whisper that broke my heart but I wasn't done trying to apologize to her.

"Baby I'm not disappointed. I love you and... I know that in the past you felt like you were forced before you were ready..."

"Edward..."

"We'll wait... it's not a..."

"Edward I'm a virgin."

…...

AND NOW... (BPOV)

OH GOD... He's not saying anything... I could hear my breathing and it felt so loud in the otherwise completely silent room. I can't believe I actually got the words out... We had talked about my relationship past somewhat, but it was obvious he had still assumed I had SOME experience, just probably not much. I let him think that simply because I didn't know how to clarify that I was a 21 year old virgin dating a 35 year old single father.

Why isn't he talking?

It felt like eternity since I said the V-word but it was impossible to know for sure as I still had myself cowardly hidden beneath my hands and Edward hadn't said a word nor had he made a single movement.

He did hear me right?

Rationally I knew he must have but... Why is he being so quiet? Why hasn't he moved? Why hasn't he made a joke or made me blush? Why wasn't he being my Edward?

"Please say something." I spoke while still not having the courage to remove my hands. What expression would he be wearing? Freaked out? Confused? Disbelieving? Disappointed?

I felt him shift a little bit so I could tell he was now hovering over me. I was still on my side and I could feel his weight rested on his right, keeping him angled over me. Slowly I felt my hands being tugged downward and I was greeted with Edward looking right into my eyes as he held onto both my hands in his right. His left lifted and stroked my face but he didn't speak.

What was he thinking? He had made no movement to get off or away from me so he wasn't to freaked out... right? His eyes never left mine as he continued to stroke me with his finger tips from my temple to my neck, then back again, following my hair draped there. "Please say something." I sounded even smaller then the first time I said the sentence and his eyes, which had been unreadable this whole time, turned soft immediately. He leaned down and gave me a sweet kiss which I returned eagerly, needing some level of reassurance but not knowing exactly why.

"What do you want me to say beautiful?" He hadn't pulled back much to ask that so I could feel his breath on my face as his head was rested against mine.

"I don't know." I felt tears in my eyes that I tried to hide.

"Baby..." He moved me so that I was on my back again and all his weight was rested fully on his forearms as he hovered on top of me. I loved feeling him like this. All of him touching all of me made me feel complete, like I was where I belong. "... don't cry." He kissed the side of each of my eyes as his hands stroked my head, before pulling back to check that I was obeying his request. I gave a small smile in response to how perfectly he took care of me.

I really do love him

"Did I freak you out?"

"Of course not."

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?"

"I don't know." The words caught in my throat as I fought back more tears. This feeling of being a complete social freak wasn't new for me but feeling this way with Edward scared me more than it ever had in the past. I never wanted him to see me as 'to young'.

"Bella..." He heavy sighed as he glanced down and away from my eyes for a moment. It was in that moment that I remembered I'm naked... well topless anyway. Did he remember too? He doesn't seem to be distracted... at least by that. After a few moments he rolled over to pull me on top of him effortlessly. I was laid out on top of him now as he stroked my face over and over again while watching me with nothing but kindness. "Baby why didn't you just tell me that... before?"

I knew he was asking about our phone conversation when we talked out the birth control issue, and now that I was actually thinking about it... that would have been a much easier time to reveal being a virgin to him. A moment where I didn't have to look at him and certainly a moment where I was at least dressed.

… I had let him undress me though... and I definitely don't regret that. How could I when I still feel a warm trail on my arms and torso where his fingers had grazed me? I can still feel tingling down my spine...

Before this weekend finally came I had decided that I wanted Edward, completely... that I want him to be my first but now,when the moment was here I just... I don't know... But as sure as I had been, I still froze.

"I don't know... I guess I was scared." That was a bad word choice... scared... but I didn't know what word fit.

"Of?" His hands resumed rubbing my hair on either side of my face as he listened to me.

"That it would make you uncomfortable and that it would show how STUPIDLY inexperienced I am... for my age."

"For your age?" He furrowed a brow at me while sporting a smirk. "Are you an old woman or something?"

"I'm serious Edward."

"I know which is why you're so adorably absurd." He pulled me down to him so he could kiss my glower away. Of course now I couldn't stay irritated with him...

"What does that mean?"

"You're only 21 years old... and barely 21 at that. It's perfectly reasonable to still be a virgin at 'your age'." Hearing him say the word virgin made this conversation feel so much more real and I felt my cheeks redden. It was honestly a miracle I hadn't been red since the word left my own lips.

"Were you still a virgin at 21?" He opened his mouth but nothing came out.

Yeah... I had him there.

"...No, I wasn't..." His fingers found my spine and he traced from the top where my back met my neck, all the way down before going back up. I could feel the soft press of each fingertip as he touched me. The intimacy of his touch had me fighting a moan. I love his hands on me and can't imagine I would ever grow tired of it. "... but beautiful... that's not a fair comparison."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not you. You can only hold yourself to your own standard." His continued stroking up and down the trail of my back and my whole body grew warmer. He smiled at me before pulling me down again so we could kiss. A few soft pecks and nibbles that he knew would make me smile, at least a little.

"I..." He was trying to make me feel better and it was working... especially when adding in his touch... but I still felt pathetically naive and shadowed by this confident, older, sexy man underneath me.

"You should have told me..." He trailed off and I felt bad that I had picked this, of all moments, to tell him. I ruined everything and I didn't know how to fix it. I didn't even know what to say or do next.

"I'm sorry." I really was.

"Nothing to apologize for." He sighed heavily. "I just... wish I'd known."

"I think... maybe part of me didn't want you to treat me differently."

His eyes watched me intensely for a moment at my confession. "It wouldn't have changed how I see you... just maybe how I handled... other things." He gestured to himself and me, clearly indicating our state of undress. I blushed and smiled as he winked at me.

He ALWAYS finds a way to make me feel better.

For that and to many other reasons to count... I love him with all my heart.

He started to shift from underneath me and for a moment I panicked. Where was he going? "What are you doing?" He looked at me confused as I held myself firmly above him.

"Ummm... getting up." Was he asking me or telling me?

"Why?" I blushed as I asked him that and he stared at me for a moment before smiling mischievously.

What's he up to?

"Hmmm." I was about to ask what that sound meant when he pulled me to him harshly, illiciting a small squeak out of me. We were now flush, chest to chest, with one arm around my back and the other holding my face.

This may have been the first time I was 'on top' of him but that really didn't change a thing about our dynamic with one-another. He was still very much in charge and I loved it.

"Do you not want me to get up?" His eyes bored into me as he asked and I shook my head slowly as my only answer. "Why not beautiful?" There was humor but also undoubtedly desire in him. The usual emerald color of his eyes was a dark forest shade now and they felt like two magnets pulling me into him.

"Because... I want you right here."

He lightly brushed my lips with his finger for a few strokes. "Bella..." There was little to no humor in him now. Mostly there was heat, lots of it. In his touch, his voice, his breathing, and of course his eyes. I nodded my head again rather then speak. His eyes never wavered from me and I stared right back. We watched one-another for awhile and it felt like we were having a conversation even-though no words came out. What was he trying to tell me? What was I trying to say?

Finally he ended our silence by kissing me hard. He parted my lips from the force and his tongue found my own. Warm touches left me forgetting anything else we were talking about. If I could choose just one thing to have for eternity it would be this... Edward kissing me. His lips held purpose as he got harder then softer, so sweet then completely demanding... over and over in that pattern, making me pant with need. He moved down to my neck stopping to nip at my sensitive spot he's grown to love manipulating. I couldn't hold back the giggle that escaped or the moan that followed as his mouth came back to mine and his tongue came out to lightly trace my lips.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"You have to tell me, baby. You have to say the words."

"I..."

"There's no right or wrong answer." He whispered into my lips and I took another deep breath, tasting him as I did. How can just him talking have me so excited? I could feel every inch of my body on alert, waiting for him to do... absolutely anything he wanted.

"I wish I knew what to say... what to do..." Always so awkward thanks to my own inexperience. He has done all of this and by comparison I have done so little. Will he be disappointed with my... performance?

"Just tell me what you want, Beautiful." His one hand was STILL tracing my spine and it felt so good that I wanted to whimper.

What is he doing to me? How does that simple move of his fingers feel so good?

"I..."

"What..." He kissed the side of my lips "...do..." Then he kissed my jaw. "...you..." His mouth ghosted to my neck "...need?" I felt dizzy under all the attention he was giving me. His voice, body, everything just seemed so focused on me as he waited for a response. "Just tell me baby..."

"I need you." That was about the truest thing I could say. I may not know much, including my own limits but I knew without a doubt that I wanted all my firsts to be with Edward. I wanted everything to be with him.

He smiled before kissing me again. I took the opportunity to run my hands down his shoulders and as much of his body as I could from on top of him. He was so strong and every inch of him rippled under my touch. I remembered the first time I'd seen him topless and how I wondered how his back alone could be so sexy and that was before I was touching him...

The answer was so obvious now. Every part of Edward just seems to call to me and while I do want everything he's able to give, more than that... I want to give him every part of myself.

Slowly we worked past the tension and were able to focus on just being together. His kissing was so sweet and attentive but also methodical in how deep to be as well as where his lips went next. Up or down, gentle and hard, loving and needy... All of it was exactly what I wanted. Every kiss made my breathing more ragged and had me trembling. Warmth spread down my chest and stomach, then my center and down my legs. I squirmed above him as the heat at my core turned hot.

I want him...

Being on top made it difficult for me to touch him back since my arms were shaking so hard I could barely hold myself up. Edward seemed to realize this around the same moment I did because without a word he ever so gently switched us so that he was now on top of me. I smiled as my shaky arms wrapped around his neck as soon as I felt the mattress underneath me, still warm from where he'd been. He kissed me for a few precious moments as I did nothing more than feel him above me, on-top of me, all around me. The comfort, the dominance, all of it. Everything that was Edward.

Finally his own hands began to wonder further down and the electricity between us was intensified by the chills his touch was giving me. His fingertips stroked my neck and upper chest before running down between my breasts and tickling my stomach. I felt his smile against my lips as he made me squirm.

His hand began to rub down my hip and thigh before moving up and following the band of my panties. His finger stroked from one hip bone all the way to the other and it felt incredible. "May I?" His finger was just slightly under the top now still tracing from one side to the other, making it obvious what he was asking for.

He wants to see... everything.

"Yes." Despite all the nerves firing throughout my head and body I still knew that I wanted this. I was anxious and maybe even a little scared but there was no question how much I wanted to be with him.

He kissed me again, a few sweet kisses before I felt his thumb begin to lower my panties down my hips, first one side then the other. I loved that he remained kissing me as he did it and warm comfort mixed in with all the desire and anxiety. He didn't pull back and focus on my body but instead his attention stayed on me... on kissing me. I'd never felt so cherished and loved before.

He couldn't really lower them past my legs since he was still kissing me so I did the rest while kissing him back with more desperation. I got them off and could hear how jagged my breathing was at the realization that I was now completely bare to him. "Shhhhh." He pulled back to look at me and stroked my face while smiling tenderly. "Are you okay?"

I nodded and offered a smile that hopefully hid how nervous I really was. So many thoughts were screaming through my head now. 'This is really happening...', 'PLEASE, PLEASE don't disappoint him.', 'Is it going to hurt?'... So many thoughts that I wished I could just turn off.

"Bella, look at me." I did. "Good girl." He smirked as I smiled and blushed. "Remember what I said okay. Anything you need..." I nodded and he shifted a little so that his weight was on one side, freeing up one arm. He traced my face, while watching me and I couldn't resist smiling at the small shocks his touch caused. His eyes followed his ministrations, with the occasional glance back up at my eyes. Each time those verdant pools met my own eyes I felt love, then each time they went back to trace my body I felt more heat.

Slowly... so very slowly, his eyes and hand drifted past my face to my neck and then they met my chest. My breathing caught as soon as his hand touched my breasts. His touch in combination with his eyes on me was overwhelming to every one of my senses, making me pant loudly. His response was to lean down and kiss me, just once on the lips. He lightly touched my lips as he spoke to me. "Breathe baby." I obeyed as I took a few more deep jagged breaths. He kissed my cheeks, one at a time before pulling back again, to resume what he'd been doing, looking at every inch of me. I could feel his eyes trailing down my body as he took in every detail. I was marked under his gaze, like I was being truly seen for the very first time. Tingles ran down my neck, arms, legs and everywhere else in response to his appraisal of my body. As his eyes reached my center I waited to see his reaction. I just knew the moment his eyes made it there because I swore I could feel it.

Warmth... moisture... need.

His hand had been trailing a bit behind where his eyes lead their exploration of me and as he looked between my legs his fingers stroked my hips, over and over again. My breathing was so loud in the quiet but I didn't know what to say or do to calm myself.

Please don't stop touching me...

After a moment his hand stroked down my hip and leg all the way past my calf. His eyes didn't leave me as he traced my leg a few times. I could feel myself react to each pass of his hand and it consumed me with so many conflicting feelings. I was so scared, but needy. I was also heated but somehow content. HE somehow centered me while simultaneously exciting me beyond anything I had imagined.

Without a warning Edward leaned up and gave me a searing kiss that stole my breath away while pressing himself against me. His mouth was hard and full of passion and I didn't want it to stop. Both hands had left their spots to hold my face to him and my own hands reached up to hold his in place on me.

"You are so beautiful." I smiled but didn't speak, not wanting to stop kissing enough to respond. I was happy when he chose to stay close to me now, though he still pulled back just a bit so he could stroke my body as he kissed me more.

I held him tightly, needing him close. That electric current singed a path on my skin as his hand touched me from my face, to my neck, chest, stomach, down to my hip. He held my thigh for a few moments before spreading me just enough to wrap my leg around him. I immediately felt exactly how excited he was but it didn't scare me... it excited me. I kissed him more, humming at the feel of him pressed against me. There was still one layer of clothing, his boxers, between us making the contact close but still not enough.

I could feel myself shaking as he began to move slowly against my core. God I can feel him... After a few deep strokes his hand moved between us to lightly touch my center. I pulled back from our kiss to catch my breath as I felt him...

… I felt him touching me...

My eyes went back to his and he was watching me with intensity. I tightened my arms around his neck and allowed myself to just feel. I leaned up to kiss him and he moaned a bit as my body shifted against him. My breathing got louder as he rubbed me. I was grateful that he didn't stop his movements. I loved him touching me and I loved that rather than stopping or asking me if I was okay he instead continued exactly what he was doing.

My body vibrated at his touch. I was in unfamiliar territory with him, never having felt like this with a man before, not even close. I was nervous but not hesitant. I wanted all of this, no doubt in my mind. I didn't want him to stop but I was so anxious of what was to come. He had asked me what I need but truthfully he instinctively seemed to already know, without me saying a word. He just seemed to know how slow I wanted him to go. He always knew what I needed which made me smile and relax beneath him.

I kissed his neck a few times, feeling bolder as he stroked me. Bring felt by him... "Edward." I unconsciously moaned as he entered me just a bit with one finger. My arms tightened around his shoulders and my fingers weaved into his hair, keeping him oh so close to me.

So long as Edward is kissing me I can handle everything else. I could feel him as he went in and out just a little and I could feel how wet I was as he moved inside.

He kissed down to my neck and my body paused under the power his soft open mouthed kisses felt like there. A million tingles went down my chest and spine all of which led to my core heating up, where he was fueling the fire more.

"Oh God." I whispered so quiet I doubted he would hear me but then again maybe he did as almost immediately his lips moved to my collar bone where he nipped and sucked on my skin, gently touching his tongue to each little spot afterward.

Now his pace felt almost painful. My body wanted and needed more but at the same time... I love this too. Do I want him to keep doing this or do I need him to give me more?

His hand never halted in touching me between my legs and my thighs rubbed against him, needing something... "Edward..."

"I'm right here beautiful." He leaned up to kiss me in answer to the silent question I didn't know how to ask. As soon as his lips met mine his fingers went deeper.

"Ung..." My breath caught and my voice was still so small. His lips moved to my neck and ear allowing me to hear how heavy his breathing was getting.

"Fuck... you're so soft." He kissed my ear a couple times as his fingers went in and out making me whimper, much louder now. I had never felt anything like this before and I just knew he could do so much more. "I want you so fucking bad."

There was so much I wanted to say to him. So many words in my head but nothing sounded right. Nothing said what I was FEELING, right now, with him. There was to much to describe or explain. I kissed him with all I had as his other hand held my face at my hairline. I could FEEL his deep breathing and I wanted to feel even more.

I knew instantly, as I felt him here with me, that the best thing I could say wasn't what was in my head or even my body, as it was just a live wire of feeling and need. The truest thing I could say to him was what was in my heart. Everything else was just in the way.

I slowed our kiss to deep and sensual, never letting our lips stop touching. My hands... my shaky nervous hands, held his neck to me as I kissed him with all the love I have. I love him with my whole heart and I know that he's the only man I'll ever feel this way about.

This is the only person I'll ever want this way.

"Edward..." My voice was shaky now just like the rest of me, but I was still sure. "I want you too." His head rested in my neck and I held him there as he breathed.

"Beautiful..." He leaned up to look into my eyes and for a moment I was worried that he doubted me but instead he just gave me a soft kiss and held a look of adoration as he moved his hand to rub my thigh, soothing me. I whimpered as he pulled out of me but my eyes stayed on him. We watched each-other as we silently recognized the change coming for us. "Bella..."

"I'm ready." I interrupted him, worried that he would question me because of how much I was shaking. My whole body was quivering and since he was on top of me I knew it was impossible that he was oblivious to just how nervous I really am.

He smiled and his knuckles rubbed under my eyes. "Baby... I would never doubt you." I smiled as he watched me for a silent moment. One more soft kiss and he whispered into my mouth again, staying so perfectly close to me as he spoke. "I was just going to ask if you decided what you want to do for protection?"

I took a deep breath and he kissed me again. "Do you want me to use a condom beautiful?"

I blushed red. He had asked me this before, for the future 'however near or far', but I hadn't really thought it all through. It was such an easy thing for him to talk about... I envied him. "I don't know." His smile never faltered and he continued to rub under my eyes, stroking my undoubtedly red cheeks.

"Whatever you want sweetheart. I just want you to feel comfortable."

My eyes stayed on him as my quivering breathing was trumped only by my quivering body. "I want to feel you." Maybe it was silly, ridiculous, and in the end didn't make a difference to the experience but I still didn't want to feel anything except Edward. Nothing between him and me...

His forehead touched mine and he took one deep breath before pulling back to watch me."God... Bella... Baby, that's all I want too. To just feel you..." For the first time my confident strong Mr. Cullen was shaky and hesitant. His touch was careful and kind, reverent even. He stroked my face as he watched me and I could feel myself get lost in his eyes. The ones that made my heart skip and my confidence soar. The look he gave that always made me feel so beautiful, because that's how this man sees me. I couldn't help but calm down, even just a little, at the comfort he brought me. He made me feel so sexy and so happy to be his and also so proud that I can call him mine.

He leaned in to kiss me again, this time slow. I could hear both of us breath deeply as our lips touched. I could feel every small movement of his hands on me. One strong hand, still on my thigh, firmly rubbing me, while the other moved to support his weight next to my head. I could feel the small tickle of his arm against my shoulder as he supported himself above me. His first hand moved up to hold my face, making sure I opened my eyes and was looking at him. "If you need anything, if you need me to stop or slow down... baby, just tell me." His firm tone was back and I loved how much he seemed to really need to do whatever I wanted. Somehow he did this without showing hesitance, doubt or fumbling. It was so simple to him... whatever I NEEDED was exactly what he NEEDED.

How can he make me feel so powerful while I'm feeling so terrified?

"I love you."

"And I love you." I wrapped myself around him again as we kissed and breathed each-other in. My fingers ran small patterns over his shoulders so I could feel him as he made the smallest movements. He pulled back from me, just barely enough to remove his boxers and amazingly all I could feel was relief when he was done taking them off because it meant he could kiss me again.

As he pressed himself back to me I kissed him more heatedly, missing him for just the few moments we were apart. His hand went back between my legs and I squirmed at the sensation of him stroking me for a moment before entering 2 fingers this time. His lips moved to my neck as my breath caught and both my hands clutched him tightly at his shoulders and neck, trying to hold on from what I was feeling.

"Edward." I whispered his name again and again as I felt his fingers move in and out. I could feel it, hear it, and I didn't want it to stop. He went slow then slightly faster before slowing down again. As my breathing calmed from the amazing tingles he was causing his movements got faster, and then he went deep. "OH GOD." I cried out softly.

"Am I hurting you?"

"No... Please." My frantic voice begged him not to stop. Luckily he listened and I felt another deep thrust as he simultaneously stroked me on the outside making me quiver. His movements inside got stronger but never hurt while remaining soft on the outside. Hard and soft at the same time. How does he do this to me?

"I'm..." I could feel myself getting so close as he continued to go slower before thrusting at just the right angle in a singular fast move, before slowing again.

He whispered to me and I listened to every word he said as I kept my eyes closed, my arms around him, and my body on alert to his every touch. I felt how wet I was getting and I whimpered at how amazing he felt. There was intensity but not really any pain as he worked me deeper then got gentle, over and over again making me whimper. "Shhhh, I have you sweetheart." I smiled at his sweet words. I loved his names for me that were just his. His movements got a bit faster and my body followed him as he pushed forward and pulled back. I pulled him tighter to me as I wound tighter and tighter from his fingers inside me. His mouth went to my neck, right to the spot that met my shoulder, and I quivered as he nipped and licked me there. I grasped onto him just a little tighter and his teeth immediately marked me making me scream as I came.

He didn't stop touching me as my body trembled with after shocks, though his movements were only soft and sweet now, bringing me down gently. I felt my body shaking as he kissed me but I was to dizzy to know how strong the vibrations were.

I felt him kiss me down my chest and stomach before coming right back to my lips. I kissed him eagerly as he held himself over me with both hands rested next to me on the bed.

I felt him between my legs and whimpered when he brushed up against my still sensitive core. "Baby, look at me." I hadn't even noticed my eyes were still closed. I looked up and he had such a soft smile on his face. He brushed some hair out of my face making me smile back. He gave me a few kisses along my ear before whispering to me. "Hold onto me okay." I didn't need to be told twice so I clutched his shoulders as hard as I could and buried my face in his neck.

I could feel my body shaking from what's coming next and despite how ready I really am it would be a lie to say I'm not scared as well. I want this but I want it be perfect too. I want Edward to enjoy me, but I don't know what to do...

I wrap my legs around him naturally happy to get closer. I immediately feel him touch me... down there making him moan and my breath catch. He doesn't hesitate as he starts to enter me... and my eyes close at the feel of everything. The feeling of Edward inside me. "I love you." I nod my head, unable to speak but holding him to show I love him too. One more kiss at my neck and he thrusts all the way in making me whimper and clutch him to the point that I'm worried I'm hurting him.

"Shhhh. Baby are you okay?" He looks at me full of love and concern and I just whimper and nod weakly. It hurts, a lot, but it feels good too, having him with me. "I'm so sorry baby." He kisses the tears I didn't know had fallen, before moving to kiss my cheeks, my jaw, hairline, everywhere on my face as he holds still over me.

"I love you." I meant for the words to sound strong, needing to reassure him as much as he is me, but they come out strangled under everything I was feeling, and not just physically.

"I'm right here baby." His arms are rock hard where he's hovering above me and I can feel the tightening of the muscles as I grasp onto his shoulders and arms. His jaw is tight and I can tell how much he wants to move, yet he's perfectly still, making sure I'm okay before he does anything. Tentatively I move my thigh up his hip, testing the pain. It's there, but less now. I move my hips just a little and he tenses further but still doesn't move. He continues kissing me lightly, letting me adjust. Giving me whatever I need. Just like he said he would.

I love him so much.

For the first time I can truly see how vulnerable he is. Edward is many things but a caretaker is one of the biggest parts of him. He himself and probably lots of people see him as hard and controlling. To a point he is all of that but deep down he cares deeply about the few people he has let into his heart. He would do anything for his child, his family, and I also know he would do anything for me. Knowing I'm one of the few that has earned the kinder side of him gives me the confidence I need to be strong for him too.

"I'm okay." I move my hands to his hair to try to reassure him. I run my fingers through as I kiss his temple.

He doesn't answer me but releases a heavy breath before he lifts out of me then thrusts right back in. "Fuck." He whispers the swear and despite the small amount of pain still there I have to smile. I love when he loses his calm.

He moves in and out of me and I try to follow his movements but there's just so much... so much to feel, to process, just... way to much. Instead I just hold him tight and kiss him, never wanting to let go.

His movements get more frantic and less controlled letting me know he's getting close. He speeds up then crushes his lips to me as he thrusts in 3 more times, hard and deep making me shake and moan into his mouth as he groans into mine.

I didn't realize how hard both of us were breathing until that moment, when he pulled back from our kiss so we could both catch our breath. He was still holding himself over me on one forearm while his other hand held my face. I didn't know what to say and he didn't seem to either. Instead he just kissed my face a few times and ever so slowly started to pull out of me.

That reignited the pain again and I whimpered. "Baby..." His fingers rubbed the apple of my cheek as he looked down where we had been joined. He leaned in to kiss my forehead and then started to get up.

"Where are you going?" I didn't want to lose the heat of his body next to me.

"I was going to get a cloth to help clean you up." I looked down and blushed at the sight of red and white between my legs, it wasn't to bad though.

"Can... can you stay a bit longer?" I was feeling ridiculously needy now. I'd just given him the biggest gift I could and it left me feeling amazing yet terrifyingly exposed. The only thing I knew without a doubt would soothe it all was him, holding and touching, and just being with me.

"I can stay forever beautiful. He rolled to his side and pulled me into his arms where I fit in happily. I felt him kissing the top of my head as I snuggled into his chest, breathing him in.

I felt myself drift off quickly to the sensation of Edward holding me.

END NOTES (PLEASE READ):

-Tell me your thoughts...

-Sorry for cliffhanger last chapter and HUGE delay everybody. I had really wanted to write their 'first time' from EPOV originally but in the end that just didn't seem fair to Bella in a weird way since it was HER first time PERIOD so I changed POV. Sex scenes are harder from the girl's POV.

-I really tried to emphasize how different Bella and Edward's characters are by EPOV during their foreplay being easy and physical while Bella's POV is full of emotion, inexperience, overthinking, and doubt. I hope it showed the difference between the two of them.

-So... the 'first time' telling... I once read that approximately 70% of women regret how/who/when their first time happened. The fact that Bella hadn't allowed herself to feel pressured in the past is amicable but no matter how READY you are, the first time can be so nerve racking. I notice in so many romance stories, and especially in fanfiction, the women seem a little to eager to 'LOSE IT' and it never seems realistic to me, and in fact reads as ridiculous. I hope I captured the honesty in the moment for Bella's character in a way that felt true. It was a long scene because girls always remember their first time, in vivid detail.

-I typically don't like graphic, at least to the point of being gross, love scenes so I hope this was sweet and intimate without being vulgar. Let me know your thoughts...

-When I read other author's love scenes I'm not critical at all and just take the scene for what it is but when it's my own I swear I re-read and re-write it hundreds of times. I always feel like something is wrong with it. To short, to long, to much thinking, to graphic, not enough details, etc... UGGGG They are the worst stuff to write...

HAPPY LATE DAY. This holiday is shared with my son Elijah's birthday. So many of my fans have been with this/other story(s) since I was pregnant with him and through all his early health issues. Lots of love to my fans. So many have offered your support to me during a dark time for my family. Thank you all for being good people. My son turning 1 after I was so worried for his life means so much to me that I would never be able to express the words.