I have never seen Darcy as afflicted as he is in Ms Bennet's presence. I cannot blame him, however, for-upon my word-more agreeable company I cannot conceive of. Such spirit! Such vivacity! Would that these country beauties made their way to town more often!
I must confess that I often find myself in Darcy's shadow. What chance do I stand against his 10,000 a year? And I daresay his look is a bit more refined than mine. But here! Ah, here at Rosings, Darcy has made himself quite stupid, and so I shall take advantage of his lapse in good breeding! She teases him but does not seem to love him, so the odds may finally be in my favor.
Our trips to Rosings, while an amusing pastime, have not given me occasion to form any great attachment to it or its inhabitants. I visit chiefly on Darcy's account. Tonight Ms Bennet played the piano forte, and, for once, Rosings looked and sounded delightful. It is beyond comprehension that my aunt talked over the performance, but she at least provided me with a measure of privacy while I engaged with Ms Bennet.
The blush! as her fingers flitted over the keys, Ms Bennet blushed, increasing her beauty tenfold! I cannot recall what compliment I had paid to induce such color in her cheeks, but it was not a moment later that Darcy was there at my side. One must congratulate him for escaping the clutches of my aunt, but how I savored that time alone with Ms Bennet!
But Darcy! He blundered-oh, what a mess he made of it! He was all seriousness and grimness until he smiled. Lord, how I wish he'd forgotten how to smile! He won her over with that one gleaming reminder of his humanity!
I tried in vain to gain back her consideration, but, fool that I am, I merely encouraged her to speak of him! My only hope was that she described his dancing and his manner as lacking! Darcy offered some feeble reasoning regarding her accusations, and my hope increased further when she addressed me.
"Shall we ask him," she said, "why a man of sense and education, and who has lived in the world, is ill-qualified to recommend himself to strangers?"
Heavens themselves, I would not allow Darcy to reply.
"It is because he will not give himself the trouble," said I.
My aunt soon demanded to know the subject of our conversation. Ms Bennet answered by playing again-a daring response-one that caused me to laugh. Darcy seemed to find no humor in this, however, and watched Ms Bennet much too closely for my liking.
I shall make a point of wandering down to the parsonage as soon as I may in the morning. Darcy may shine like the sun, though he has done his best to cover himself with the clouds of his brooding. But every night the moon is granted time in the sky, and, here perhaps is the possibility that I too could secure a measure of felicity.
