Prompt: Favorite Moment (2021)

Realizing that you've been given a second chance with your first and nearly life-long love should cause elation. Masamune should be happy, eager, determined, thankful, hopeful, any of those feelings would be appropriate upon realizing you've been reunited with the person who has haunted the shadows of your broken heart for several years.

However, Masamune could only feel nauseous.

When Ritsu made an offhand comment about his high school reading habits it was just to make casual conversation with Kisa, but it halted Masamune's entire world to a complete stop as he finally realized just why Ritsu was so damn familiar to him.

He should feel...excited, right? Or maybe angry? Furious that Ritsu has the nerve to reappear in his life and not recognize him? That seemed right, and there was a hint of bitterness writhing inside him, but Masamune mostly just felt sick to his stomach because he didn't know what this meant. What it meant for him, for Ritsu, for them. The choices in front of him were too many and he wouldn't be able to come back from most of them.

The first option was the easiest (in theory) and it was also the easiest to change his mind about. He could just pretend like he didn't know who Ritsu was and not pursue any kind of relationship with him outside of their professional one. However, the mere thought of ignoring he and Ritsu's history while the object of his affections (and sometimes hatred on particularly bad days) for the past ten years was right in front of him...well, it seemed implausible, to say the least.

The second option was to fire Ritsu and completely forget about him like Masamune had been trying to do all this time. Or get Ritsu transferred to the literature department, since that would be the nicer thing to do. Either way, he wouldn't be Ritsu's boss and wouldn't see him everyday. It wouldn't be suspicious if he did it and Ritsu might even be a little relieved. Ritsu has no experience with any kind of manga and him being here seems to be some sort of mistake. But...Ritsu was trying so hard to learn and catch up. Ritsu was annoyingly endearing, just like how Masamune remembered. Masamune was also unfairly curious about the kind of work Ritsu could do for this department.

The third option was to tell Ritsu who he was and let him know just how badly he had hurt Masamune. Masamune could let out every cruel, mean, potentially unfair thought he ever had about Ritsu. He could let that sharp and sour side take him over like he did in the library so many years ago when he was yelling at Ritsu to leave him alone. But what would that accomplish? Masamune would be down one editor since Ritsu would surely quit after something like that. And...that would be it. Masamune doubted it would actually make him feel any better. He'd probably feel worse. Guilt and regret were hell to go through, Masamune would know.

The fourth option was not to tell Ritsu and pursue a romantic relationship with him so that the two of them could have a fresh start. No baggage, no drama, no history to interfere. Masamune wasn't even totally sure that he wanted a romantic relationship with Ritsu, but if he decided he did then lying didn't seem like a great way of starting one. Besides, Ritsu might be a little airheaded, but he wasn't totally stupid. He'd probably figure it out eventually, if Masamune's conscience didn't force him to come clean first. Then Masamune would really have a problem. This option was scraped pretty quickly.

The fifth option was to come clean and be friends as well as boss and subordinate. If Ritsu wanted to be friends. If Masamune wanted to be friends. The stinging, festering wound in his heart made it hard to tell whether he wanted Ritsu to patch it up or if he wanted to give Ritsu a matching one. But, Masamune was pretty sure he liked Ritsu. Maybe it was just this initial shock that had him so...conflicted. Ritsu's insistence that they hadn't met before certainly didn't help the ugly feelings inside him.

The sixth and final option was to come clean and be more than friends. Or, at least try to be, if Ritsu didn't immediately report him to HR for sexual harassment or quit. Masamune really shouldn't even be entertaining the idea. Ritsu was his underling, which already made this a very bad idea, but Masamune shouldn't care so much in the first place. He should be over his first love, he thought he was over it. It had been a brief high school affair with a total dork of an underclassman. It shouldn't have impacted Masamune so deeply.

But it did. And it follows him even now and has followed him right into his place of work and if he's being completely honest with himself he doesn't want to tell it to leave. He wants it to stay right next to him, even if it's old or broken or not good for him. He wants it to stay more than anything, even if he has to cling on to it and beg on his knees. He wants Ritsu to stay.

Masamune sighs. There never really was another option, was there?