Chapter 24: New Year's

Although Yuki was glad to be home, she did not enjoy having to resume training. Her mother had her practicing the night after she returned, even asking Maria to join her. Despite her delicate look, Maria was no stranger to the sword. Ever since she had gotten healthy, she had trained alongside Yuki under the tutelage of Shizuka.

The monotony of training and homework was interrupted by Shizuku's visit, a few nights before New Year's. Yuki was glad to see him, both because he was her friend and because it gave her an excuse to take time off from training and homework. After having dealt with paperwork and other matters that had accumulated during his time at school, Shizuku had been bored and had decided to visit Yuki and her mother.

It had been a while since he last saw Shizuka, and once he had overcome his initial wariness of the kuruizaki-hime, he found her rather interesting. Although a bit eccentric, she was not actually crazy as rumors would have one believe. The visit proceeded with him having a one-on-one chat with Shizuka first.

She did not display any surprise at his adult form, only briefly commenting that he resembled his father. Next, she asked how he was enjoying school and he replied it was an entertaining experience. Finally, she asked the question he was most excited for - how Yuki was doing at school. Without missing a beat, he started divulging the various improper behaviors Yuki had displayed at school. Shizuka maintained her composure as she listened to how Yuki had been wasting time reading shoujo manga instead of her textbooks, how she had been slacking on koto lessons, and how she had discussed her classmates' chest sizes in public, among other things, but Shizuku noted with mischievous satisfaction that the older pureblood's aura had flared up a bit. She thanked him for his candid report, and they moved on to more serious topics.

After their talks ended, Shizuka retreated to her quarters and Shizuku went to find Yuki in the kitchen, where she sat at the counter laboring over her homework. When he entered, she immediately abandoned her assigned reading and happily skipped over to him. However, as she got closer and saw him looking more smug than usual, her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"That was a long conversation you had with mother...what did you talk about?" she asked.

"Don't exaggerate, it only half an hour, and we discussed various issues," he replied nonchalantly despite her eyes drilling into him.

"Hmm...and those 'various issues' wouldn't include me, right? Because you should know that snitches get stitches," she said, laughing unnaturally.

"I merely reported the facts," he said and smirked.

At his indirect admission, she shrieked, already dreading the scolding she was sure to get later from her mother.

"You jerk!" she yelped. She contemplated stabbing him – or at least whacking him hard with the wooden practice sword. Her training should not go to waste...

"I'm not to blame for the consequences of your own actions," he said and shrugged.

"Asshole," she hissed accusatorily and continued glaring at him, her cheeks puffing as she scrunched her lips into a deeper scowl.

Despite himself, he found her angry pouting kind of cute and felt just a tad sorry for tattling on her. "You were being lazy with your studies despite multiple warnings and what you promised your mother," he said in a weak defense.

"Prick."

He decided to assuage her so she would not call him names and glare at him like a vengeful ghost the rest of the night. "Fine, I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have tattled on you."

She hmphed and turned away.

Sighing, he started to coax her into forgiveness. He never had to apologize to or cajole anyone until he met her – and that was when he discovered females were a very difficult species. Only after promising to treat her for the rest of the school year at the local patisserie was she willing to forgive him. They then spent the rest of his visit chatting about other matters, such as their classmates and the upcoming semester, which she was very excited for.

As his visit came to an end, Yuki asked what he would be doing for New Year's.

Since witnessing him forlornly play the violin, she had wondered about him. During her brief stay at his manor, she had asked his butler about Shizuku's family. Saikawa-san had informed her that Shizuku's parents were both deceased, and that his remaining relatives, an aunt and a cousin, were slumbering in some mausoleum, unlikely to wake up until a few centuries later. He had then sighed sadly, sharing his concerns that his young master was lonely, as he was an only child, and that it was bad for him to spend so much time alone.

"I'll relax at home. New Year's is a hassle, too loud and festive," he replied with a disinterested tone.

Yuki looked at his back as he put on his coat and hat and felt sad that he would be alone when everyone else would be with family or friends. She suddenly grabbed his hand, causing him to glance at her quizzically.

"Since you're free, spend New Year's Eve with us." She held his gaze, silently imposing her will.

He stared into her eyes for a while before looking away and nodded. She released her hold and watched as his bats disappeared into the dark skies.


It had become tradition for the Kurenais to invite their pureblood neighbors over to celebrate New Year's together. The days immediately prior to the holiday were a busy whirl of activity, with Aoi accompanying Kyoka into town to shop for ingredients and other goods. It was a hassle buying seafood when they lived in the mountains and they had to order the shipments of sea bream, shrimp, etc. in advance.

Kyoka was generally quiet and gentle, but when it came to cooking, she assumed the aura of a general. She loved any excuse that allowed her to pull out all the stops and relive her days as a professional chef, and even pregnancy did not deter her. She was determined to prepare a feast fit for a king. In fact, purebloods were royalty to vampires, so she spared no expense for the New Year's feast.

The gleam in her eyes was even more pronounced this year, with the addition of Lord Toma as one of their guests. Knowing his wife, Masao stayed out of her way as she bustled around the kitchen. In the past when they were newlyweds, he had tried assisting her and had experienced her anger for the first time when he had burned the eggs. He had since accepted that he had no talent for cooking and that his sole involvement was washing dishes and paying the bill for the ingredients. He was happy when his wife was happy, and besides, he loved dinner parties too.

Maria had been trained by Kyoka since childhood, so she was naturally her first assistant. Aoi, having worked briefly as a kitchen maid during her time at Rido's mansion, possessed enough experience to qualify as the second assistant. The three of them efficiently busied around the kitchen, preparing enough food to last a large family for a week.

Shizuka, bored and looking to kill time insisted on helping too. Kyoka could not outright deny her, despite her suspicions that Shizuka was not experienced in kitchen work, so she let her handle the simpler tasks like peeling chestnuts for the kuri-kinton and cutting vegetables. To Kyoka's relief, it seemed Shizuka's talent for wielding sharp blades extended to kitchen knives. It was a strange sight, the elegant Shizuka with her hair tied up, wearing an apron and julienning carrots.

Despite how out of place Shizuka was, she enjoyed the work – there was something therapeutic about slicing lotus and burdock roots. Aoi occasionally glanced over to observe Shizuka chopping away with a controlled yet intense focus bordering on vehement. She wondered if her mistress was picturing Rido-sama in her head as she zealously chopped at the roots and greens.

Yuki felt awkward sitting around while everyone else was busy, so she decided to assist in ways she could. Taking the initiative, she cleaned her house while Aoi was busy with the cooking. Yuki also helped Masao clean and decorate the Kurenai residence in preparation for the festivities. Decorating for the holidays was a favorite activity of hers, and she threw herself at it energetically.


Shizuku arrived an hour before sunset on New Year's and soon realized he was not prepared for celebrating the holiday with Yuki and her family.

He had come expecting something like what his parents had hosted when they were alive, a fancy dinner party with alcohol and pleasant conversation, but was greeted instead with the sight of a pine and bamboo arrangement at the gate, and a Shinto decoration of straw and an orange above the front door. At that point he realized he was out of his element, but it was too late to turn back.

Along with the humans, most of vampire society including his family and the Kurans were rather Westernized. They wore gothic clothing and lived in mansions of Western architectural influence. A handful of them even had European ancestors, way back when a few progenitors had traveled West and returned with foreign spouses. Historians attributed most of the westernization to the decreased isolation and increased globalization that occurred the few centuries preceding the nuclear apocalypse.

However, some vampires still clung to Japanese tradition, most notably the Hiou clan, their relatives, and the Ichijous. Shizuku knew that Asato Ichijou held traditional customs with high regard. Apparently, his daughter-in-law was the head of an ikebana school, and the man himself frequently attended Kabuki plays. Every few centuries, there were movements among some vampires and humans that pushed to revive traditional clothing and architecture, and to expel "foreign elements and ideas" from their country. However, those movements were always short-lived.

Anyway, thanks to dedicated vampires and humans, some traditional Japanese arts and customs survived even several millennia after humans almost wiped out all humanity and culture with their idiotic nuclear war. (Well, Shizuku supposed he should thank humans for the nuclear apocalypse, since that was what had given rise to vampires in the first place…)

While Shizuku stood outside pondering the survival of tradition, Yuki sensed his arrival and excitedly ran out to greet him. She was clad in a bright scarlet kimono, the long sleeves of her furisode swinging as she ran. She dragged him inside, where the Kurenais greeted him, all three also in kimono, shedding their usual gothic attire for the occasion. Shizuka was reclined gracefully on the couch and wearing a kimono, as expected for her.

How could Yuki not have mentioned the dress code? Shizuku was annoyed. He stuck out like a sore thumb in his tuxedo amidst all the kimonos. He was somewhat relieved when Aoi emerged, and he saw that she was in her usual westernized maid uniform.

The knowledge he had not arrived empty-handed also lessened his embarrassment a bit. He had bought three bottles of top-grade wine infused with blood as a gift. Wines like these were only obtainable in limited quantities from select sellers that catered solely to elite vampires. Although the Kurenais had purchased enough premium sake for the occasion, Shizuka eyed the bottles approvingly – more alcohol was always welcome. Besides, it had been a while since she tasted the more expensive wines – they were one of the few things she missed since leaving Rido. Despite his numerous problems, that man had good taste in alcohol, she will admit that much.


While waiting for sunset, the group ate a light meal of soba noodles and made polite conversation. When half of the sun had already settled into the horizon, the group made their way out into the garden. While it was custom for humans to watch the first sunrise of the new year, vampires had changed the custom to the first sunset instead.

The dark blue skies blended into a deep purplish color, then a red-orange hue near the sun. The mountains below appeared several shades of indigo blue, the colors reminiscent of watercolor paintings.

Shizuku glanced at Yuki out the corner of his eyes and saw her watching the sunset with twinkling eyes and a bright smile. The last rays of sun highlighted the red and white flower ornaments in her hair and reflected off the gold and silver threads on her furisode. She caught him looking and nudged him with an elbow.

"Isn't it beautiful? Aren't you glad I invited you?"

"It's decent."

She huffed at his response. "If you're happy, just say so. Stop trying to act cool!"

He ignored her rebuke and returned his gaze to the sunset...it really was beautiful.


They returned inside after viewing the sunset. In the dining room, Aoi had set out the lacquered boxes containing the exquisitely prepared osechi ryori as well as bowls of ozoni soup. She poured sake for the adults while Yuki and Maria had to settle for tea. The feast commenced with a toast to good fortune for the new year. As Shizuku ate, he realized it had been a while since he had attended such a gathering. Despite the differences, something about this gathering reminded him of the dinner parties his parents used to hold, and he found himself enjoying it more than he had expected.

Following the large meal, they moved to the sitting room where Masao proposed a group game of uta-garuta. Whipping out a set of cards, he looked at the purebloods with a serious expression. He informed them he would not be holding back, and even boasted that he had played competitively during his high school years. Shizuka arched an eyebrow, amused as she replied that he was two thousand years too early to even think about winning against her.

Shizuku declined, as classical poetry was not his strong suit and because it would be a bit embarrassing to possibly lose against an aristocrat... He had appearances to keep as head of the Toma clan after all.

The game proceeded with Aoi reading the yomifuda and the others searching for the corresponding torifuda as fast as they could. Watching from the sidelines, Shizuku was glad he had chosen not to participate, for it was a most unbalanced game, with Shizuka mercilessly crushing all competition without a strand of hair coming loose from her chignon. Fortunately, she withdrew after the first round, finally giving the younger ones a chance to shine.


After the games ended, the girls were sent up to Maria's room while the adults moved on to more sake and gossip. Among various topics, they discussed the current situation in the Hiou clan. Shizuka knew her cousin and his wife were slumbering, unlikely to wake for at least another century. The clan was currently led by their son who she had met a few times. She liked the boy much more than she liked his father and felt some sympathy upon learning from Masao that he was having difficulty getting his authority recognized by older clan members. Apparently, the reforms he was advocating, pushing for greater involvement and rights for his clanswomen were being ignored.

No surprise there, Shizuka thought. The Hious had always been so traditional they made all other clans seem like radical progressives.

Aoi bought in wine glasses and served the decanted wine.

Shizuka quietly sipped the blood wine while the conversation shifted to the Senate and their recent acts. Politics bored her, and she did not care for the Senate. Whatever they did or failed to do had never concerned her. Their laws and policies did not extend into the gilded cages she had inhabited most of her life. The only rules she ever had to live under were those the men in her life set.

She stopped paying attention and instead observed Masao and Kyoka. They sat across from her, Kyoka leaning slightly against Masao, their hands intertwined. Unlike her and Rido back then, holding hands in a performance for Haruka and Juri, they were genuinely happy together...

The conversation about politics ended and Shizuka bought up Masao's younger brother, asking what he was up to these days. This younger brother had once accompanied Masao to pay her a visit, about a century ago. Shizuka remembered with amusement a youth who had been so scared of her, trembling so hard under her gaze, the tea in his cup had threatened to spill. Rido (who had been present, as was the case whenever they had visitors) had smirked and asked him if he was cold, and whether he should have the servants start a fire in the fireplace.

Masao replied his brother was doing well as a painter specializing in Nihonga and had won a prestigious award last year. A few years ago, he had married an aristocrat distantly related to the Ouris, and they were currently expecting a baby too.

The conversation then drifted to the other pureblood clans. Shizuku revealed that Isaya Shoto, head of the Shoto clan should awaken soon, maybe in another year or so. He always kept tabs on the Shotos since they were distantly related, his maternal grandfather had been an older brother of Isaya's mother.

Shizuka commented that the Senate and lower vampires will probably push him to get remarried. Isaya had been a widower the past six centuries and the Senate did not like having unpaired purebloods. On one hand, they feared them and did not want more purebloods, but on the other hand, they needed purebloods to maintain the strength of their bloodlines. She reflected ironically that although purebloods were supposedly their royalty, in some ways purebloods were just glorified livestock – existing to reproduce and maintain the vampire population.

Shizuku agreed and added that the branch family of the Shoto clan would probably pressure Isaya out of his position as clan leader using this issue. Even if Isaya was open to a second marriage, there were no available female purebloods. Worsening the problem of the dwindling pureblood population was a concerning gender imbalance these past centuries, with more males born than females. That was the only reason the Senate had not stuck their noses into Shizuku's personal affairs and already engaged him to someone in the stead of his family.

After Sara Shirabuki, who was already engaged to the head of the Ouri clan, Yuki and her sister were the newest female purebloods born in recent times. Shizuku doubted Isaya would ever accept someone that much younger than him though.

So far, the only viable candidate was Shizuku's widowed aunt, who was still in slumber. Shizuku did not think they would be a good match; his aunt was too fiery for someone as boring and straitlaced as Isaya. He still remembered the sight of his enraged aunt chasing her now-deceased husband around the mansion, a large vase held above her head. Seeing her hunt down her husband like a demon, ready to crack his head open for his infidelity with an aristocrat was half the reason why Shizuku swore he would never keep a mistress, no matter how insistently the aristocrats pushed their daughters and nieces at him.


Sent away so the adults could drink and gossip, the girls were stuck killing time in Maria's room. Despite Yuki's love for TV and the fact that the New Year's program was airing, her attentions were elsewhere. She was not interested in the human prime minister's speech – it was a lot more entertaining hearing about scandals within vampire society.

Maria sighed seeing Yuki pressing her ear against the floor, trying to use her enhanced hearing to catch the adults' conversation in the sitting room below. "Yuki! Stop eavesdropping or you'll get a scolding if Shizuka-sama finds out!"

Yuki turned to pout at her best friend. "Don't worry. Mother can't see me; I won't get caught!"

Maria only shook her head and returned her attention to the TV, letting Yuki do as she pleased.

Yuki listened a few more minutes before giving up, they were now talking about boring political matters. She turned to stare at the ceiling and frowned, remembering how Shizuku got to be downstairs. He was not that much older than her in the grand scheme of things, and only a year ago he was still in the form of a ten-year-old! It was not fair that he got to drink and gossip with the adults when he was even less mature than her! The more Yuki thought it, the more annoyed she got. What really got her fuming was how he had smirked at her, telling her to drink juice instead when she had asked to try alcohol (her mother had refused).

As she turned to glower at the wall, she got an idea that had her smiling gleefully. Getting up, she informed Maria that she was going to the bathroom and went instead to the kitchen.

Aoi sat at the counter, eating as she read a literary magazine. She glanced up when Yuki entered.

"Yuki-sama, what are you doing here? Are you still hungry?"

"No, mother sent me to fetch the final bottle of wine Shizuku bought."

"Oh, I haven't decanted the wine yet, I'll serve more sake for now." Aoi rose to get the sake but Yuki stopped her.

"They said it's alright, they can do without the decanting," Yuki said, smiling innocently. "I'll bring it to them so you can enjoy your break."

Although a little puzzled, Aoi relented and watched Yuki skip happily out with the wine. She resumed reading, deciding it was alright for Yuki to play delivery girl occasionally.


Yuki returned to Maria's room and triumphantly planted the stolen wine on the desk. Maria frowned when she saw the bottle – this could not bode well.

"Yuki…what's this?"

"It's obviously wine, Maria."

"Yes…I see that. What I mean is why do you have the wine?"

"So we can drink it."

Maria blinked, Yuki had not a single shred of hesitation or doubt. Only purebloods could be so carefree and indifferent to consequences…

"We probably shouldn't…"

"Maria, we're 16, we're basically adults!" Yuki replied as she took out the bottle opener she had also filched and worked the cork loose. She had not been able to procure wine glasses, so they would have to drink from the bottle. A little saliva shared between friends was no big deal, especially considering how close she and Maria were.

Yuki knew her mother frequently drank a glass of wine after dinner and had heard some of her classmates talk about raiding their parent's liquor cabinet. Apparently, alcohol induced a pleasant sensation, and she wanted to experience it herself. Also, she wanted to get back at Shizuku for making fun of her and telling her to drink juice.

With Maria still frowning, Yuki raised the bottle to her lips and took a gulp.

As soon as the liquid hit her taste buds, she had to put the bottle down. The wine was bitter, and she wondered how people enjoyed its taste. She would've spat it out, if it were not for the pleasant-tasting blood infused and the fact that she had insisted on drinking despite Maria's warning. Yuki swallowed and forced a smile.

"See? Just like juice," she assured Maria.

"Really?" Maria did not look convinced. "You only took one sip…"

It seemed Yuki had no choice…maybe it would become more palatable the more she drank. Besides, she had heard it took more than a glass to feel the pleasant sensation. She took a deep breath before taking another sip. Out the corner of her eye, she saw Maria observing her curiously. Ignoring her desire to gag, she kept chugging for another few seconds. Finally, she put the bottle down, wiping her mouth with the back of her hands.

"Your turn." Yuki said, gesturing to the bottle.

"I don't think it's a good idea…" Maria squirmed under Yuki's insistent stare.

"You have to since I already went! We're supposed to do this together!" Yuki whined.

Maria sighed in resignation. She knew she would cave in and say yes, despite her better judgement. Yuki had always dragged her into her antics, given her uncanny ability to pout and get what she wanted.

Moving closer, Maria took the bottle and gingerly bought it to her lips. She took a tiny sip, followed by a slightly larger sip. It was not bad... perhaps a little bitter, but she could tolerate it. The wine had a nice fruity taste, though the blood was the highlight.

Yuki watched with awe as her friend drank continuously for ten seconds. How could Maria not be affected by the bitterness? Or was she also acting tough? It seemed she would have to finish the bottle with her friend as she had initially planned. On the bright side, she was beginning to feel warm and fuzzy. Perhaps the more she drank, the more the pleasant feeling would grow.

They continued drinking from the bottle, handing it back and forth until the last drop was gone.


The adults had finished the sake and two bottles of wine when Shizuka went to the kitchen to inquire about the last bottle. Aoi was confused for a few seconds before realizing what had happened. She gasped and apologized profusely to her mistress, who received the news with an amused expression.

How like Yuki to get in trouble the first night of the new year. With a small sigh, Shizuka headed down the hall and up the stairs. Upon entering Maria's room, she was greeted with the sight of two drunk adolescents.

Maria was fast asleep, deep in her alcohol tinted dreams, her cheek against her desk and her arms drooping off the edges. Meanwhile, Yuki was sprawled ungracefully on the rug. Her arms were spread wide apart, and her side bun had come undone. The incriminating bottle, now empty, was in her hand. She was not quite unconscious, and when Shizuka knelt to check on her, she groggily opened her eyes and smiled broadly. She drew Shizuka into a tight hug, still clutching the bottle in her fist.

"Okaa-sama!" She giggled happily.

By now, the others had wandered up, wondering why Shizuka was taking so long.

"Oh my!" Masao exclaimed.

He and Kyoka moved to where their daughter was, and he carefully lifted Maria onto her bed while Kyoka gently brushed aside her bangs.

"It seems the children were naughty. My apologies, Shizuka-sama, Toma-sama, but we'll have to excuse ourselves and tend to Maria."

Shizuka replied it was time they headed home anyway, and thanked them for their hospitality, with Shizuku following suit. Shizuka then tried extricating herself from her daughter. Yuki protested drunkenly but paused when she heard laughing. Seeing her flushed face and drunken state had Shizuku clutching his sides, guffawing.

Yuki squinted, and suddenly tore away from her mother to grab Shizuku's tuxedo lapels, finally releasing the bottle, which fell onto the rug.

"You jerk! Who do you think you are, always laughing at me?" Yuki fumed, while Shizuku stared at her, mouth agape at her unexpected outburst.

"Just because you're handsome you act so cocky. Telling me to drink juice when you looked like a ten-year-old the whole time I knew you?!" She continued her drunken rant, with Shizuku trying to remove his lapels from her clutches without luck.

Shizuka stood watching the scene play out, holding her fan before her mouth to hide her entertained smile.

"Jerk! Shizuku is a baka, the biggest, biggest baka in the world!" Yuki yelled, still holding on tight. "I'm going to fight you, Shizuku, I'll show you not to underestimate me!"

Before Yuki could further embarrass herself and call the head of the Toma clan an idiot again, Shizuka walked over and placed a hand on Yuki's forehead, using her powers to force her asleep. Yuki tilted unsteadily before falling to the side, with Shizuku catching her before she hit the floor.

Shizuka bid goodbye to the somewhat astonished Kurenais, and Shizuku followed her out with the unconscious Yuki in his arms. After a brief ten-minute walk up the mountain, they reached the cottage. Shizuka led him up the stairs into Yuki's room, where he finally deposited the girl on her bed.

"I apologize for Yuki's behavior," Shizuka said, although she did not look sorry at all.

"It's alright," Shizuku replied, frowning as he glanced down at his rumpled dress shirt. "Yuki is ridiculous even when she isn't drunk."

Shizuka chuckled lightly at his remark, and he decided it was time to leave. He took one last look at the sleeping Yuki and bid Shizuka goodbye. Walking out the cottage, he wore a smile until he morphed into bats and flew off.


As Shizuka helped the unconscious Yuki out her kimono and into a nightgown, she mused it was fortunate Yuki had not reached the stage of vomiting. One bottle of wine was not enough to induce drunkenness in most vampires, but it seemed Yuki was an exception yet again. Perhaps Yuki was such a lightweight given her small size. Shizuka also suspected Yuki had overdone it her first time, drinking too much too fast. As she wiped Yuki's flushed face with a cool towel, Yuki tossed to her side and mumbled something incoherently. Shizuka froze, the towel still in hand, and lowered her gaze as memories resurfaced.


That man had talked out loud in his drunken stupor too…

They had never really celebrated anything, with him being gone most of the year in his city residence, while she remained behind in his mountain manor with some servants. However, she knew he usually spent holidays attending parties or soirees with his mistresses. New Year's was the one holiday he was home for. It was not out of desire to spend time with her, but simply because everyone else was busy with their own families and he was expected to do the same.

Juri had always invited them to the ancestral Kuran manor for New Year's, stating in her messy script that it was best to spend the day with the whole family. Rido would read the invitation before tossing it into the fireplace and watching the paper burn, an undecipherable look in his eyes. Shizuka had never understood Juri's persistence, sending invitations year after year, century after century, despite Rido's perpetual refusal. Perhaps Juri had vaguely sensed her brother's descent and wanted to pull him back from the abyss… but her gestures all proved futile in the end.

During the week of New Year's, Rido would take a break from work, leaving matters regarding the Senate and his finances for another time. He would hole up in his study, listening to classical music on the gramophone while drinking himself into oblivion. Only during dinner would he emerge to terrorize the servants with his drunken fits. He would find things to criticize and often went as far as smashing plates and glasses. Shizuka would do her best to ignore him, eating quickly so she could leave for her chambers.

After dinner, he would return to his study and drink more, leaving countless bottles scattered all over. Eventually, he would forgo glasses and drink from the bottle, indifferent to alcohol spilling and staining his clothes. Sometimes he would go into the room with the dark red door, but that was rare.

At the end of New Year's night, to her chagrin, he would inevitably stumble over to her bedroom, located far on the opposite end of the floor from his. She had long given up on locking the doors, as he would just brute force his way in. It seemed New Year's had the unfortunate effect of making him seek her company, someone he could hold to momentarily stave off the all-consuming loneliness haunting him. He would go to her, unchanged and unbathed, reeking of alcohol, and fall into a deep slumber in her reluctant arms. She would sigh, grimace at his stench, and haul him to bed where she changed him out of his dirty clothes. As she cleaned him up, she would hear him muttering sporadically in his sleep. Sometimes she caught the names of his siblings escaping his lips, while other times he appeared to be arguing with his father.

The sight of him so vulnerable as he laid unconscious in her bed always unsettled her. How could he be so sure she wouldn't finally succumb to temptation and stab him, something she often fantasized about?

She preferred his usual cruel and taunting self.

Because the sight of him so exposed and miserable temporarily weakened her hatred for him. It engendered pity and a tenderness she did not want to feel for him...a weakness she could not afford.

She always tried to slip away, but he would somehow sense her desire to leave despite his unconscious state. He would grab her arm or sleeve, keeping her close and she would resign herself to staying by his side.

It was only during those times when he was out cold that she would allow herself a momentary lapse of reason, and touch the man she was bound to, lightly tracing the contours of his face.

It was truly pitiful, the face of a man slowly drowning in misery of his own making…


Shizuka slowly shifted her gaze from her daughter to the starry sky behind the window. She wondered if that man had enough sanity left to remember what day it was, and if he did, was he currently hard at work, drinking the last dredges of his reason away?


A/N: Happy new year! Hopefully 2022 will be better for everyone.