Chapter 9: The Long Road to Physical (and Mental) Recovery Begins Now
(Day 9 w/ the Bad Batch)
Upon the next morning when arriving after her bacta tank session, the Bad Batch boys watched in amusement as Talla argued with the medic over her plans to go to General Kenobi's funeral tomorrow evening.
"My ribs have mostly healed; my concussion is gone, and I have two legs again - I'M GOING!" Talla loudly vowed, arms crossed in defiance as he had immediately said 'No' after her original, more polite request.
The doctor, hunched over at his desk, pinched the bridge of his nose. "SAC-1 -"
"Talla."It was still taking some getting used to, but the female clone was already fiercely defensive about her new name and only wanted to be referred by that now.
He rolled his eyes, not liking being corrected, "Talla, you just had your procedure yesterday, and if it was any other part of your body operated on, I'd let you go. But you will have to learn how to properly walk again, and that will take a few days at least."
"For a normal person, maybe, but I'm an enhanced clone, created to be superior to the average person. If I can predict blaster bolts or lift ten-thousand-pound gunships, I'm pretty sure I can relearn how to walk within the next two days." She countered.
"It's going to take a lot more work than that." The doctor insisted despite the rather good counter argument. "You have to relearn how to stand, how to balance, and how to take steps -"
"And I'll work on it the whole next two days, like nonstop."
The doctor massaged his temple that was starting to throb and heaved a sigh. "Talla -"
"Look doc I swear I'm not trying to be difficult, but my commanding officer and friend has just lost a comrade and mentor, and asked me to accompany her to the funeral for moral support - I'm going, even if I have to crawl there."
The doctor threw his hands up in exasperation. "Alright!" He made an up gesture with his hand. "Let's see you try to stand up." He said smugly, using this as a test to prove she wasn't ready to leave the medcenter.
Talla gave him a testy look and swung her legs over the edge of her bed, planting her feet firmly on the ground. "I won't try - I will stand up." Gripping the short guard rails on her bed, she let out a breath to steady herself before heaving herself upwards.
When pressure was put on her modified leg, white hot searing pain coursed through it and she cried out, "KRIFF!" As she fell back onto her mattress, her breath ragged from the unwelcome burning sensation that knocked the wind out of her, tears pricking her eyes and a bead of sweat forming on her brow. Her head hung for a moment as she tried to catch her bearings before trying again.
The sniper smirked, not at her agony but at her improvement in using cuss words.
The doctor had a triumphant look on his face, but Tech stepped in before he could call this whole scheme off. "Research says that some pain will be normal the first few times you put pressure on the leg due to the limb not being used to having the metal parts attached to your flesh and bone structure, but the pain will go away the more you practice using the limb."
Hunter nudged his arm with his shoulder. "Tech, maybe we should just leave this to the doctor." He murmured as he did not want to continue seeing Talla in pain. It tugged at his heartstrings.
"The pain will be there regardless of how long we push off the walking lessons." Tech factually pointed out.
Hunter mouth pressed in a hard line be as he worriedly looked at Talla's pain-filled huffing and puffing, not liking the sound that or her trying again.
When Talla finally recovered from the pain, and breathed in deeply through her nose and let it out slowly through her mouth. "I'm ready to try again." She stated firmly with a nod of affirmation, and tightened her grip on the guard rails in preparation.
Hunter stepped forward with his hands out to try and protest. "Talla, maybe you should -"
"No Sergeant, Commander Tano needs a friend right now, and while I don't know much about friendship yet, I so think one needs to be there for the other when things are rough." Her squad had been by her side since she was admitted into the hospitals care, and while she didn't think that they were considered 'friends' yet, if the troopers who hated her guts five days ago were now by her side through this very difficult time, shouldn't she be even more so for Commander Tana, who actually was someone she considered a friend?
"What if things aren't so hot for you either?" Hunter retorted to her stubbornness, crossing his arms with a sour expression at this being the one time she didn't listen to orders.
Talla pondered this deep question for a second. "Well, then we can yell and scream about our problems together." He was dumbfounded at her answer, and she motioned for him to step back. "Now please give me some room."
Hunter shook his head in disbelief, not agreeing with ANY of this, but obliged her and took his place between Wrecker and Tech by the wall.
Talla gave herself a couple of seconds to prepare herself, then heaved herself up, and once again as she put pressure on her prosthetic leg the searing hot pain came back. Her face screwed up and her arms shook as she gripped the bars to try and keep herself upright, the pain making her feel like all the air had been sucked out of her lungs.
"Just breathe through the pain." Tech calmly told her, being the medic of the squad and knowing how to get his patients through the pain of an injury. "Breathe in slowly through your nose, counting to four," Talla obeyed, willing to try anything to help with the pain, "Hold your breath, counting to four... Breathe out through your mouth counting to four... Hold again, counting to four... now repeat."
Talla nodded, and Tech was right - the breathing kept her grounded, and as she continued to stand the pain began to gradually subside as each second she stood passed. Her arms stopped shaking and her facial features began relaxing, and she found herself supporting herself more with her legs than the rails.
Finally, the pain turned into a dull ache, and she was able to release the guard rails, a triumphant grin coming onto her face as she managed to stay upright on her own.
The doctor found it hard to hide his frustration at being proven wrong, a deep frown on his face. "Let's see you try to walk now."
Talla put her left foot out and limped forward, grunting as the step brought back the searing sensation for a split second, but she gritted her teeth through the pain and tried to take a full step, only for her leg to buckle. She braced herself for the face plant, but just before she hit the floor someone caught her by waist, then gently grasped her triceps and after she gripped his shoulders, he slowly raised her from the ground.
Talla, after making sure her leg wouldn't buckle again, raised her head and found herself looking into the honey brown eyes of her Sergeant, their faces just inches apart. Their wide eyes stared into each other's for a few seconds... or maybe it was minutes... or hours? Talla didn't know and panicked when she felt a little flutter in her chest at the intensity his orbs possessed that were also clear windows into his emotions, which seemed to mirror her own - nervous and unsure.
Was her heart about to give out?! It certainly felt like it was. And why was her face heating up? She felt like she was going to faint.
Vice versa, Hunter felt the same exact thing.
When someone cleared their throat awkwardly, Hunter blinked back his petrified state of being and immediately released Talla's arms in an almost shove-like move and was about to take a few steps back, but his abrupt action made the woman unsteady once more and he was forced to come into close contact with her again and grasp her arm so she wouldn't fall. He tried to keep his distance as best he could under the circumstances, which Talla was thankful for because she didn't want to feel that weird sick feeling again, though he really couldn't do much as she gripped tightly onto him.
Talla saw the doctor sigh in defeat and rise from his chair. "I see I won't be able to convince you to take it slow." He came to her side that Hunter wasn't on and held onto her other arm. "The Sergeant and I will hold onto you, and we'll start your physical therapy by taking slow laps around the room."
Hunter gaped, just wanting to go take a walk or something to cool down from whatever the heck just happened to him. "Uh, I think Tech is more suited for doctor stuff than me."
"You're already holding onto her, so you may as well help me out." The doctor ordered more suggested.
Hunter felt extremely uncomfortable about this, but decided he still owed her that much and helped Talla as she took her first steps.
Talla was right in saying that she would progress faster than regular folk. By hour five, she was able to walk on her own with only a crutch to support herself, and the doctor's frustration was replaced with awe, for he had never had a patient recover so quickly - she really was a super soldier!
Talla didn't want to stop walking, loving the feeling of freedom it gave her after of being carted around, and decided to walk around the medcenters surrounding area for more practice. The rest of the Bad Batch were more than happy to wander, preferring that over sitting in her room doing nothing for hours on end and being bored out of their minds.
Talla was absolutely ecstatic to be outside, the smell of antiseptic never failing to make her nauseous, and even though there wasn't any plant life on Coruscant, it was still a sight to behold! She was amazed at the tall buildings and scattered fountains that surrounded even the area surrounding the hospital and asked Tech a bunch of questions about the city planet, not getting to finish the file she found in the Kaminoan Library, and made the Bad Batch promise to use one of the last few days of their leave of absence to show her some of the sights in the surrounding area.
But since they weren't able to go anywhere beyond the hospital grounds, Wrecker, Tech, and Crosshair quickly became bored wandering the same circle they had already explored, which Talla sensed through their little sighs and the charged silence that came over them.
So, she graciously offered for them to go and 'Have fun!'
"Don't think you have to be at my side every second during visiting hours - I'll be fine on my own!"
Crosshair didn't bat an eye. "Okay." He turned sharply on his heel and without a 'Enjoy your physical therapy!' or a 'Thank you for being so kind!' or even a simple 'Goodbye!' he just promptly marched off in a random direction - well, to her it was random. In reality, his beeline was towards a shooting range where his itch for action could be satisfied.
Wrecker was torn, wanting to stay with Talla to try and help her feel better, but he knew what the destination of Crosshair's chosen path was and also wanted to shoot stuff up so much more than wander in circles for hours on end.
"Just go!" Talla insisted with a broad, encouraging smile despite Crosshair's rudeness.
So giving her a pat on the back in parting that almost knocked her over, Wrecker bounded after his little brother, yelling for him to wait up, and since she really seemed okay with them leaving, Tech followed, leaving just the hesitant oldest brother with the newest member.
"Don't you want to go with them? I know literally anything else is better than walking in circles around the hospital with a cripple."
Hunter, who's hands were resting in his pockets and his posture was overall very relaxed, facial features also serene, merely shrugged in response to her encouragement. "Going to a shooting range isn't very relaxing - any chance I can get some peace and quiet, I take it."
Talla could tell he wasn't fully relaxed though, something in his eyes revealed this fact, so she thought he was lying to spare her feelings and tried to push him towards a good time, "I thought you liked the thrill that comes from your suicide missions - 'the adrenaline rush'as Tech called it."
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy a little down time now and again. Gives my senses a break."
Talla huffed in agreement, "Speaking of giving enhanced senses a break -" She whipped her head around to look for a place to sit, found a bench and desperately hobbled over to it, wincing as while the pressure was relieved from her leg, the painful throbbing was still almost unbearable.
"Why didn't you say you were in so much pain?!" Hunter fretted as he caught up to her, seeing the apparent mask that hid her suffering drop into a twisted, pale face of agony, and she gripped the edge of the bench and sucked in a few sharp breaths to try and ground herself.
Her tone was strained when she finally did answer his question. "I didn't want to annoy anyone with complaints."
Hunter, utterly dumbfounded, face-palmed so hard it could have knocked his head off of he had enhanced strength like Wrecker, then tried to summon every ounce of patience he possessed and badly hoped it would be enough for him to not strangle her for her stupidity, "Talla, there's a difference between blubbering like a child because of a little splinter in your finger then telling someone that your chopped off limb that's just been implanted with cybernetics is giving you trouble!" Well, the amount summoned wasn't enough for him to not kinda raise his voice, but honestly was it uncalled for this time? This woman was UNBELIEVABLE! CRAZY, even!
She still didn't budge on her point of view though and was slightly put off by his raise in tone, and cursed her very existence for making him so upset and wished she had just limped on and kept her trap shut. The conditioned Clone Agent changed her tone to positive and grateful to try and smooth things over, "Well... I'm very lucky to even be alive in the first place -"
Yeah, it didn't make him less upset. "But with our enhanced senses the pain that comes from a wound is just as amplified - I'm amazed that you can even stand so soon after the surgery, to be honest, instead of being curled up in a ball and writhing in pain because they can only give you so much painkillers before it kills you! ... But I guess that you just lied to the doctor while he monitored your pain levels so you would be allowed more freedom?"
"I just wanted to be self-sufficient, so no one had to be burdened with caring for me."
Hunter rubbed his hands over his face in exasperation and grumbled something even her enhanced hearing didn't pick up, but it sounded something along the lines of, 'You're unbelievable.'
"Sarge, I'll be fine!" She insisted, though her pale face, firm frown, and sheen layer of sweat on her face was a dead giveaway that she clearly wasn't fine, and he shot her a knowing look. "I will! I just... need a minute."
"What you 'need' is to get back to your room and rest." He retorted.
"And I will, I just can't... Well... go right now... It hurts too bad." She admitted sheepishly when his piercing eyes showed that he could see the obvious signs of discomfort plainly written on her features now even though she tried to hide it once more.
"Was it ever not in pain?"
"... No." She murmured shamefully.
*Heavy Sigh* "Talla, you're injured, so why do you think we would be annoyed when you tell us you're in pain? We're not going to know how to help you if you don't tell the truth! And the doctor isn't going to know how to treat you without knowing truth either! Which means you won't recover as fast, or as good - which will hurt you more in the long run -"
"Bad things happen when I complain!" She blurted out, unable to take his rant anymore, and all the words died on his tongue when he saw the fearful face she made, which was one he had seen before: when they were talking about Nala Se.
Now, it all made sense.
Well, he had been looking for a time to bring up Nala Se again, not to give specific details that he chose to bury in the recesses of his mind, but to let her know she wasn't the only victim of that witch.
So, reaching up to massage the back of his neck nervously (yes, he still became a little fearful talking about the clone scientist and her experiments) he shuffled up and lowered himself onto the bench next to the squirming female clone, and cleared his throat to make sure his voice was steady. "Look, I want you to listen carefully, okay - " At his low tone, almost a mumble, she dared a look at him out of the corner of her eyes and saw him hunched forward with his elbows against his knees, his eyes now distant and trained on his wringing hands, "You're not the only one to be experimented on by her, Talla." It felt like the wind was knocked out of her all over again, but this time from a different type of pain, and she wisely kept quiet as he wasn't finished and wanted to get it all out before he lost courage, "Me, Crosshair, Wrecker, Tech - we were all subjected to the... 'endurance training' and the stupid Anti-Trauma De-Programming that we couldn't tell anyone about because 'If the Jedi found out, all our cloning scientists will be locked away in jail and we would not be able to produce more soldiers for the GAR, and the Republic would lose the war - do you want to shoulder that burdening responsibility?" Reciting the words ingrained in his mind made him want to puke up his lunch.
She even used the same excuse with them? It was both liberating for Talla to know someone else experienced this exact treatment, but also very, VERY distressing.
"But since there were four of us to choose from to satisfy her -" Hunter scoffed darkly, "'-scientific curiosity,' it was evenly spread out so..." He suppressed a shudder, "I can't even imagine what she did to just one test dummy," After a few beats, he managed to meet her wide-eyed gaze with a steely one of his own, to show he was dead serious about every single one of his next words, "But I promise you: you're safe now. She can't reach you now that you're out in the field, we are definitely not sending you back into her evil clutches, and our squad sort of has this pact: if Nala Se does try to come after one or all of us ever again, we blast that kriffing long-neck off the face of Kamino, consequences-be-damned."
For a moment, Talla couldn't manage more than a feeble nod to show she heard what he had to say, then a really awkward and tense silence followed for a solid minute.
Hunter, eyes focused on his twisting hands again, was trying to suppress the feeling of nausea that talking about Nala Se always did to him despite the stupid counseling sessions she so lovingly provided to ironically help them move on from the trauma she had created in the first place. Tech's learned skills usually helped, but some days were better than most.
Talla on the other hand was trying to process his confession and think of a reply that didn't make him more uncomfortable than he had become over the course of the conversation, but the swirl of emotions within her made her indecisive as to what would be appropriate. Relief, curiosity, fury, denial, anxiety, sadness, KRIFF it was like her brain was being pulled in a hundred different directions at once and a headache was well on the way again.
In a moment of clarity, she sensed his own whirling emotions and thought that he was most likely experiencing the same thing as her.
So, Talla decided to diffuse the tension altogether, knowing that stuff like this... you just didn't want to talk about it most times, and she hesitatingly put a shaking hand on his shoulder, giving a slight grimace when despite his relaxed-looking posture, he was as rigid as a wooden board. When his head snapped up upon contact, she gave the best smile she could under the grim circumstances that was their shared traumas, "Feel like getting a drink from the cafeteria? Wrecker smuggled up a bottle of a beverage called 'cola' to my room yesterday, and I took quite a shine for it. Figure we could both use one now."
Relief flooded the Sergeant's body - talking so openly about things, hard subjects or not, was more Tech's thing... he wasn't quite there yet - and Hunter gave a breathy chuckle. "Sounds great, but ONLY IF we take them back to your room so you can rest." Playfully she rolled her eyes in faux exasperation to his fretting but was secretly pleased at the thought of putting her aching cybernetic foot up or something.
And, also, she was secretly pleased to know she wasn't the only one to suffer at the hands of Nala Se. It made her feel less crazy, seeing someone else who despised her 'justified' actions, and made her now certain that it actually was a wrong thing to do to another living being. She had no idea how to move forward, and the conversation certainly didn't take away all the negative side effects to her trauma, not even all the skills taught to her in those counseling sessions working one bit. But to know she wasn't alone in this torment and that she didn't have to conceal all emotions or even actions that weren't blindly following orders and rehearsed words of respect, and to know that she didn't have to fear her squadmates or fear they would ship her back to Kamino...
It was a nice weight off her shoulders, and for now it was enough.
Once that hard subject was out of the way, conversation flowed more easily between the Sergeant and Clone Agent. Hunter, second place in the Reserved Manner Competition, Crosshair being the reigning champion since the day he was created, actually found that he liked talking with someone who carried on most of the conversation so he didn't have to try and think up of something interesting to say, though he didn't know why it was easier to do this with Talla then with Tech. There was just something about her he couldn't quite put his finger on... It certainly couldn't be because she was attractive because it'd be WRONG to think about her like that, him being the leader and her being a soldier in his squad and all.
Talla, on the other hand, was just happy that she and the Sergeant got along now! Another person to answer her infinite number of questions, but with simple, more straightforward answers. She found that sometimes she preferred that over long rants with large words she had to translate in her mind.
