English is not my main language, so confusing words or phrases may be noticed.
Chapter I
The staff room was a place I liked to think I was quite used to frequenting.
Sometimes I was called in because of some of my famous youth essays. Other times it was just for some advice about the future or simply a whim of the professor.
While I could be seen as "a troubled student" who needed a good, competent counselor, there was nothing wrong with going to such a place. I even liked it.
Mainly because of that young Sensei in her white overcoat who always sought to give me advice. She was the person I respected the most in my entire life, and to this day I do, of course. That's why the counseling room had become a special place for me.
Unfortunately, the same cannot be said these days…
"Tell me, Hikigaya…" His voice sounded rough and impatient, as if he was tired of everything. "Why do you always get into fights? It's the fourth time this month alone, damn it!"
My current counselor wasn't a beautiful woman in her thirties, but a tired-looking balding old professor who didn't seem to like anyone.
Very unlike my high school counselor, this teacher had no interest in doing his job properly, he was still overweight and didn't look athletic at all. He was just another employee enslaved and forced to deal with delinquents to keep his shitty job.
I won't even waste time mentioning this guy's name, it's not worth the price, believe me.
Back to the sermon…
"You're not in high school anymore and you're not even a damn brat anymore! You're now a college student! An adult! Seeking to be someone in life like everyone else!" He growled, banging hard on his desk. "So tell me, why the hell do you keep getting into fights on this university campus?"
he said, and despite shooting him a look that demanded an answer, I didn't bother to respond. Not worth the price.
Also, I'm not going to say that this man's reason for being angry with me sounded wrong, on the contrary, he was partially right.
It turns out that after graduating from high school at Sobu, I was able to attend a good university in Chiba through a scholarship.
Following the humanities field, I was planning to take any degree and pursue a career as soon as I left. The problem is, no matter where I went, or how much most students at this university might be considered "decent people," I was a trouble magnet.
I always had these dead eyes that made a bad impression on anyone who saw them. In general, people used to keep their distance or simply not look at my face, ignoring my miserable existence.
But every now and then, some idiot would mistake my stoic look for offense or someone wanting to pick a fight. That said, when three guys tried to corner me in the cafeteria, I had no choice but to "let go of the arm". Although I was at a disadvantage, believe me when I say that those guys' faces will no longer be recognizable for the next few days.
"You're not even listening, are you?" The professor sighed reluctantly before shooting me a warning look. "I'll be honest with you, Hikigaya. I don't care if you're a delinquent, if it's not your fault, or if you're destined to get into fights. If it depends on me, you can drop dead and I won't mind, you see. ?"
This time the teacher/counselor/bald gave me a sneer, almost as if he liked to put me down. What was expected of someone like him.
"But…" He continued, this time showing a stern face. "Rubbing your colleagues' faces with the desks and chairs of this institution is out of the question! Although this university is not strict about the rules, it doesn't mean that we will let people like you disturb the peace in our hallways, understand? If you want to pick a fight, let it be off our campus!"
Making a hand gesture as if he were expelling a stray dog, the bald professor simply turned to his desk and began organizing the paperwork. I don't think today was the best day for him, after all...
"I'll pay for…"
"Oh, so now you can talk? Incredible! And even more incredible that obviously, you're going to pay for destroying a table and two chairs in our cafeteria." The professor said with a sneer. "And should another such event occur, I will direct you to administration because I don't want to have to deal with someone like you anymore, Hikigaya. If you want to keep your scholarship intact, I suggest you refrain from your childish acts for the rest of the school year."
With that our conversation ended. The professor proceeded to ignore my existence as he went back to the paperwork.
About me? I just stood there, looking at him a little annoyed. As much as I wanted to punch that bald guy in the face, it's not like I've done anything good here.
In fact, I was vandalizing this university while smashing people's faces into tables and breaking ribs using chairs. But is it irritating to know that those bastards didn't get any warnings, even after they'd supposedly started the fight?
In fact, they were the first to commit vandalism! I just grabbed the "blank weapon" in his hands and used it just like they tried to do to me. The chair was destined to be destroyed, it just wouldn't be about me, damn it!
"Are you still here?"
Seeing how I still hadn't moved from my seat, the bald professor threw me a disgusted look, as if he was looking at garbage that should be disposed of immediately. I grunt annoyed at this and quickly walk out of the counseling room.
Now in the halls of the university, I let out a big sigh to try to calm my anger, but without much success. No matter how much I clenched my fist or meditated, this would still be a fairly frequent problem in my daily life.
Anyway, I took one last look at the sign on the wall that said "Teachers' Room" and concluded one thing...
The place that was once almost cozy in high school has become more of a fake shit full of bastards who want to screw me over.
One of the best places for a loner to hang out would be on the most secluded terrace of an educational institution.
Not only can you watch the "ants" minding their own business from above, you can also prevent them from keeping an eye on you. It's an absolute attack and defense situation.
Anyway, it's not like I'm interested in these ants. I only come here at lunchtime and enjoy a good cigarette, watching the smoke drift on the wind as I am accompanied by solitude.
Speaking of loneliness, it's almost funny how she and I became good friends. You see, me, a college student, twenty-one year old Hikigaya Hachiman is still a loner. In fact, put emphasis on the lonely part because these days I don't talk to anyone anymore.
It's been about three years since I started attending Chiba University and so far I haven't made any acquaintances, let alone a friend. The few people I still had any contact with ended up going their separate ways.
You would be surprised to find out how lonely I am these days.
Not that I care, I'm used to it, but a part of me feels guilty about not socializing. I always worry about what Hiratsuka Sensei would say if he saw me in this state.
The effort she put in and the extra attention to her "favorite" student was totally wasted. She had said goodbye to me with a note of pride, happy that my person had supposedly found the genuine thing in the midst of youth that I considered to be a lie.
Aahh… How wrong was I about this genuine…
But that's a thing of the past now… If there's one thing I know how to do really well, it's clicking the reset button on my relationships. So you could say I'm back to square one.
"Ah! Found you."
Or almost…
"I've been looking for you, it took a while, but just eliminate the places you usually frequent."
The voice was mature and a little rough, being an athletic girl who wore jeans and a light-colored dress shirt. Tying her long blue hair into a ponytail, the figure showed herself in the form of a longtime acquaintance.
"What do you want, Kawasaki?"
"Always sounding rude. Don't you, Hachiman?" Kawasaki said, putting his hands on his hips with dissatisfaction. "And call me by my first name, idiot! How long do you think we've known each other?"
"Time is relative, Kawasaki. And I don't remember us being so close to call each other by our first names." I joked as I took a drag and blew smoke into nothingness. "Not to mention this is something only close friends do."
"And we're not friends by any chance?"
"Acquaintances, more precisely." So I said, making Kawasaki huff with dissatisfaction.
She then cast a playful look at the lunch box in my hands.
"Funny, I don't remember there being an acquaintance who cooks you lunch and keeps an eye on you every day, right?"
"It's a pretty cool acquaintance." said mockingly. "For starters, I never asked you to do anything, Kawasaki. I can take care of myself and I can just buy lunch at the saize."
"You can't take care of yourself and you'll die if you don't have a real lunch, Hachiman." Kawasaki said crossing her arms. "Besides, your sister wanted me to keep an eye on you, remember?"
When my sister was mentioned, I couldn't help but internally grunt and Kawasaki couldn't help but notice my attitude.
"You…" Kawasaki whispered on a wistful note. "You haven't spoken to her, have you?"
I just turned my head around as I turned back to face the university campus, watching the ants roam. I could hear a tired sigh and the sound of footsteps coming towards me from behind.
Now beside me, Kawasaki extended his hand towards me, to which I responded by handing over the cigarette I had been smoking until then.
She took a deep drag on it, holding her breath for a while until she released a huge wave of smoke.
"How often do you smoke?" Kawasaki asked.
"Only when I'm angry."
"Which in your case is all the time…" Kawasaki sighed with a hint of disappointment. "So who were the poor souls that dared to mess with you this time?"
I smiled internally at this joke of hers before replying. "Just three freshman idiots who think they can extort their seniors. No big deal."
"No big deal, is it? Hear they're passed out in the infirmary. You really didn't go easy on your juniors." Kawasaki said with a disapproving note.
"They didn't want to take it easy, so why should I?" I replied huffing at the memory of those bastards' faces. "If I hadn't done anything to fight back, I'd be the one in the infirmary right now."
"Even so, one of them still had a broken rib, Hachiman! You…" Kawasaki intended to finish his sermon, but stopped when he realized I wouldn't give a damn. Then she sighed again. "Leaving that matter aside, I came here to ask you a favor."
I just hummed in amusement as I shot Kawasaki a smug look. "Do I owe you favors?"
"Yes, you must! And many!" She said getting completely indignant. "The lunches I make for you, the housework in that shitty apartment of yours, and the many times I got your ass out of trouble! You owe me a lot of favors, ungrateful idiot!"
"Ok woman, don't yell! My head is still throbbing from the blow from those bastards. Just say it at once!" When I said that a little annoyed, Kawasaki heaved a sigh of relief.
"I need you to go along with me, what was the same name? Ah! Group meeting or something…" Kawasaki said thoughtfully. "My friends want me to go with them on a random group date to chat and all that social shit you know."
"So, do you have friends?" I asked, half horrified and half smug. Of course Kawasaki didn't like my tone and punched me in the shoulder. It hurts woman!
"Of course I have friends!" Kawasaki yelled, "Unlike you, I've changed, okay? Of course, I still don't really like interacting with strangers, but Hina wanted me to come along and..."
Kawasaki gradually lost her tone, I think she thinks she said too much.
Anyway, Ebina Hina huh? I knew that Fujoshi and Kawasaki had grown closer in high school, but I didn't know they would be that close. How surprising.
I noticed that Kawasaki was fiddling with his fingers a little shyly before continuing.
"You know how Hina is. She doesn't like guys trying to flirt with her, but the idiot is too stubborn to let any possible 'BL' moments between boys pass by. And that makes her a pain…" Kawasaki grunted a little annoyed as he remember Ebina's classic "explosions.
"That's why she always drags me around when she can. You know, to keep guys away with my delinquent girl attitude."
In the end, Kawasaki concluded so. Looking a little annoyed at being used as a boy repellant by Ebina.
"So…" I called to her, narrowing my eyes a little. "Why the hell do you want me to come along?"
"Well, as scary as I am, I'm still an attractive girl, right?" Kawasaki said so, smiling a little proudly at that fact. Since when did she get so smug?
"So there's always some guy brave enough to try to flirt with me. And in my case it's the guys with the hot attitude, which sucks to deal with!"
Kawasaki growled, tossing my cigarette over the edge of the terrace. I'd like to say she committed an infraction by dumping trash in the middle of campus, but seeing her look fragile after those words made me change my mind.
"In case, you want to avoid another incident like that, right?" I asked, to which Kawasaki nodded a little embarrassed.
"The nice guys keep their distance thinking I'm scary and the smug motherfuckers think I'm playing hard to get, so they put me under the bitch label the next second…" Kawasaki sighed, giving me a puppy dog look in the process. "So… Can you please accompany me Hachiman? I would really feel better if you were there with me…"
It wasn't a request, it was a plea. From Kawasaki Saki, to be more specific.
Seeing how her eyes were threatening to fill with tears. I can clearly say that incident affected her in some way. So much so that she started to show me quite often these expressions that are out of character for her.
Shit! How can a scary delinquent be so cute?!
"Fine, I'll go with you…" I said sighing, at the same time making Kawasaki's eyes sparkle. "But not today, I have a part-time job and you know it."
"Of course I knew, idiot!" Kawasaki said so, now quite smiling. "I've already convinced the others to arrange this for the weekend, so you don't have to worry."
"I think I should… You're destroying my Saturday day off."
I snapped in annoyance, but that only served to make Kawasaki's attractive smile widen even wider. Which only made me even angrier.
If only she showed that expression to other guys, I'm sure those who found her scary would see her in a new light. But that's none of my business, so whatever.
With that, our conversation ended and it was time to start the afternoon period. Kawasaki walked to the door, hesitating a little before putting her hands on the knob and turning to face me.
"Listen, Hachiman… I know you're not on good terms with your sister." Kawasaki said to which I grunt indignantly.
"It's not like we've had a fight, Kawasaki."
"But the same can't be said about your parents, right?" She retorted with a serious face. "I won't tell you to reconcile with them, but your sister is worried about you. At least take her calls, you idiot."
"..."
I was speechless. I couldn't refute anything at all.
Many things have happened in recent years since the beginning of my University phase. Full of highs and lows, especially the low moments.
There isn't a single day that I don't feel anxious or irritated. The constant fights I've been having around this campus, my state of absolute loneliness and the guilt for breaking too many expectations was the main trigger for my "late rebel phase".
I won't say it was entirely my fault, but I still didn't do anything to change that. That's why I'm speechless. That said...
"I'll talk to her…" I whispered, my voice coming out a little husky. "I'll definitely talk to her later, that's for sure."
When I gave a small reassuring wave, Kawasaki let out a little "Humpf!" satisfied and went through the door.
"See you Saturday, Hachiman."
On that last note, I was once again alone. With nothing but myself for company.
I took a look at the blue sky over Chiba City. There were clouds, birds and a plane slowly flying over my eyes. And you know what I noticed?
Anything. This vision added nothing. It didn't change anything. It was just a total waste of time. But still, I liked to just watch the "normal" things around me. A way to distract yourself, I guess...
You have received an email!
Feel the device in my pocket vibrate. Grabbing my old phone, I quickly open my email inbox. Analyzing the sender and content of the message for a few seconds, I take a small breath and finally choose my next step.
"It's time for work."
It's funny, right?
I, Hikigaya Hachiman, the cynical and eccentric loner who used to say that to work is to lose, is doing exactly what swore would never do.
Work, of course...
Well, in my defense, I didn't really have much of a choice at the time.
First, some turmoil with my family left me on my own. Second, my younger self forgot that the miserable life of a corporate slave boiled down to the saying that "if you don't work, you don't eat."
Simple, isn't it?
It is the logical rule of society. As much as the system sucked its life, unfortunately we are all dependent on it. Of course, there are ways to get around it, but this is an issue for few.
Anyway, the worst part wasn't even having to work, but finding a job that suited me.
I already mentioned this, but these eyes of mine are a lot more troublesome than you think. After certain events the rot between them only got worse. Making them more tired, darker or as Kawasaki put it "scarier".
I won't go into too much detail, but most of the job openings I applied for were instantly turned down.
Who would want a scary guy as a cashier or as a co-worker?
And who's to say that person won't want to punch the abusive boss or the smug customer in the face?
In short, most of the jobs I took didn't last a week.
For a long time I had to survive with odd jobs or simpler jobs as a newspaper or errand boy. It was what you could do at the time without having to get into so much trouble.
Fortunately, I got a job that fit my guidelines. In this case, I currently drive as a taxi driver during the early hours of Chiba city.
It's not the safest job due to the hours, but I didn't need to interact with clients much. They didn't even have to talk or look at me more than necessary, it was all just making the trips and charging the price for shipping.
In addition, I could enjoy the solitary moments in the car with a good book or even study material. Other than that only had to deal with the boss once a week.
As for the smart-ass customers? Rare occasions, but usually a single glance from me is enough.
And crime? I'll probably be arrested instead of the criminal. My appearance these days doesn't differ much from a Yakuza, you know.
Anyway, it was past midnight and a heavy rain was falling over the whole city. I was in my car, accompanied by a book in one of the darkest and quietest districts of Chiba. Nothing out of the ordinary.
I'm here waiting for a customer, who had called at the last minute with some urgency. It's been about fifty minutes and so far nothing. I hope you didn't waste gas for nothing...
My worries were allayed the moment I saw a figure sneaking up from behind. Couldn't describe it very well due to the darkness, the place was very poorly lit, but then a hand wearing a pair of leather gloves tapped lightly on the back door.
I quickly disengaged the lock so the figure got into my vehicle.
He was a tall, burly man who wore a black overcoat. He had what looked like gray hair and a beard, probably a gentleman in his fifties or sixties. I also noticed that he looked a little tired, as if he'd just made a run here.
"Good night…" He said casually to which I nodded. The gentleman then removed his hat which was slightly soaking wet before catching a glimpse of the outside. "Pretty rainy morning, isn't it?"
"The weather forecast never gets it right." I said nonchalantly, earning a chuckle from the old man. That same laugh soon turned into a coughing fit.
The old man even gripped his chest tightly and I could see the bloodstained trails through his white dress shirt.
"Hard night?" I asked, to which old man nodded, humming painfully.
"I ended up catching a big fish." He said with a little weary breath. "It turns out he was a pretty tough fish to catch."
"I see…" I replied calmly as I noticed several suspicious silhouettes approaching the car. My grip on the steering wheel increased considerably.
"Listen son…" Realizing the same thing as me, the old man casually approached me and pulled something out of the pocket of his black overcoat. "Chiba's noblest district, Continental Hotel, can you take me there? As fast as you can, if possible."
The man smiled kindly at me, holding out what appeared to be a single coin entirely made of gold.
One side of the coin contained the figure of a lion in front of a shield, on the other side could be seen the figure of a woman carrying a sword. The Latin words "Ens Causa Sui" and "Ex Unitae Viries" were present on each side.
For a few seconds I was surprised and at the same time hesitant. I couldn't believe what I saw. I took one look at the old man's face, it was smiling gently. I took a look outside, the silhouettes were approaching and soon my car would be surrounded.
What…
I gave a small sigh before taking the coin from the old man and quickly putting it in my pocket. old man grinned at me, snuggling back into the backseat.
"It will be my pleasure…" I said with a professional smile as I turned the car key. The roar of the engine roaring in all its glory. "Enjoy the ride, Mr. Watson."
I didn't wait a second longer and hit the gas pedal. Making the speedometer exceed 100 per hour in a very short time.
I also didn't mind the sound of gunfire and the multiple shell casings that punctured my car's body like it was paper. Mr Watson didn't seem to mind either, just enjoying a good cigar while singing some English song to himself.
I looked in the rearview mirrors, the armed figures getting further and further away making me smile like crazy.
Looks like today was my lucky day!
Did you find it interesting so far? Hihihi...
I won't say much about this story, I'm just sure some of you will pick up the references I put at the end.
Well, until next time.
