Chapter 20: Grief Is The Price We Pay For Love
(Day 18 w/ the Bad Batch)
The Bad Batch were supposed to head back to Coruscant right after things wrapped up here on Kamino, but Wrecker didn't want his new girlfriend to see him this way. So sad. So broken.
Those weren't his words exactly, but Talla got that vibe when Wrecker dodged Skylar's comm this morning at breakfast, two days after he told her they'd be back after the Battle for Kamino. It was remarkable his girlfriend had enough restraint to wait this long before calling, because she knew her boyfriend's squadron was on the front lines and could have very well diedif there was a second attack after the first... but if he did happen to be alive, she didn't want to appear clingy.
It was not a good two days for Skylar, to say the least.
When she explained this reasoning after getting a hold of Talla soon after that first call, and Wrecker gave his friend permission to explain a little what happened because he didn't want her to worry, the female clone couldn't quite understand it. From Talla's point of view, if someone she cared about was scheduled to arrive at a certain time, but they didn't, and they didn't establish contact to explain why they were twelve hours, twenty-four, FORTY-EIGHT HOURS LATE, and she knew that they were in the midst of a potential battleground... a comm would be warranted for her peace of mind much sooner than what Skylar settled on. Either way, Wrecker's girlfriend was really relieved she hadn't sort of became a widow... or whatever the technical term was for a woman losing her boyfriend of less than three days.
Was there even a technical term? Probably not.
Anyway, you get the idea! She understood why he was not feeling up to talking, and did want to be there for him, but respected his want to spend a couple of days just with his family for now.
In other news, Talla kept her word and completed most of Tech's tedious work around the ship, she tried to make sure the boys ate by taking them to the mess hall as the Agent couldn't find the time to cook them meals herself with all the chores she did, and generally was always ready to be there for her friends when they needed it.
They all ended up accepting comfort in different ways...
Tech
When she sensed Tech's mood was at a really low point, she coaxed him out of his room to watch Holovids, finding the channel with the thriller crime drama they'd grown fond of, and enjoyed swapping theories and predictions while viewing it, even having some full-blown debates.
This time around though, Tech just huddled in the corner of the couch, wrapped in the cozy blanket Talla had purchased in the Coruscant Markets, silently sipping his cup of tea Talla also got for him. So, she couldn't do anything but just silently sit next to him, which made her feel so useless. Except, about halfway through their third episode, Tech started stating facts about grief.
"Grief is a normal response to the loss of a loved one."
Talla jumped when she heard his small voice, but immediately recovered so she wouldn't miss a thing. She twisted towards him in her seat and tucked her leg under her, propping her arm on the back of the couch, giving him her full, undivided attention.
He didn't return her gaze, in fact it seemed like he was focused on the holovids, but even with the flashing kaleidoscope of colors within his glassy eyes from the holoprojector, they still looked dull and lifeless. It took him a bit to find the right words, which was weird because he ALWAYS knew what to say, but this was not a battle scene. He was trying to express his appreciation for her compassion and friendship. Anxiously, he tapped his fingers against his now cold mug. "Grief is ... unpredictable." He stated factually again, "It comes and goes, and the emotional variations - and the fluctuations on top of that - what I am experiencing makes me feel like I am violently twisting and turning through an aerial battlefield." He paused, then shook his head once as he had a better example that she'd understand better, "No, a better example would be your first flying lesson, because there I had no control as what was going to happen, thus I was unable to prepare myself for the violent whiplash."
If this was Crosshair giving a comment like that, she would have instantly become defensive and insulted because it would be said to make her feel bad. But Tech, he just stated facts. And for a fact, her first flying lesson was no picnic, and that was putting it lightly.
It was a good metaphor.
"The healing process is going to be long... and difficult." Tech continued, "... and it should not be done alone... in fact I have seen it is most effective with the help of friends."
Talla knew that this was his own way of opening up and saying: "Thank you, for all your doing. You have really helped make this horrible situation more bearable."
Wrecker
When she sensed Wrecker hit a really low point, Talla approached him with a smile and asked if he wanted to work out, which she knew he did in for preparation for a battle, for fun, and also when he was stressed. After some hesitation he said sure, so she brought her gear into his shockingly still cleanish room and the two of them vigorously exercised, Talla with her heavier than normal weights and portable pull up bar, and Wrecker with his own weights. As the two of them silently did their own routines, Talla secretly watched from the corner of her eyes as Wrecker had a deep scowl on his face while he used his anger to push himself to his limits.
When he finally reached it, he growled loudly and ended up using the last bit of his strength to chuck the 300lb weight at the wall opposite from him. Doing chin ups on that same wall with her pull-up bar, Talla flinched when it caused a big BANG! five inches away from her head, then as she lowered herself from the pull-up bar alarmingly focused her attention on Wrecker, who was now sitting on the edge of his bunk, hunched over with his head in his hands. He was not going to cry in front of her, but he definitely was in deep emotional turmoil.
The female clone was unsure what to do at first, just cautiously approached her friend while wringing her hands together and slowly lowered herself so that she was sitting next to him. Talla knew that he was the Bad Batcher who seemed to find physical touch more soothing than words, if the constantly invading everyone's personal space was any proof. So, a caring hand was laid on his shoulder, and when he didn't protest Talla went a step further and wrapped her smallish arms the best she could around his massive upper body, and set her cheek against his shoulder in a hug that she hoped was warm and soothing since they weren't wearing their armor.
He responded positively to the hug thank goodness, leaning into her touch and letting out a little breath of relief, and they remained that way for some time.
"Thanks, Tala." He eventually murmured.
"Anytime, Wreck." She responded kindly.
And she obviously also kindly fixed the new window created through the wall separating Wrecker and Tech's rooms by the weight hurled by the freakishly strong male clone.
Crosshair
With Crosshair, it was harder to help him because he was so distrustful of her, and there were still some underlying hurt feelings on her part. Talla had to keep reminding herself: If he's so upset over 99's death, he must have cared for him deeply, so he must a heart.
Boy, did he make it difficult though.
She kept making the caf in the morning, but he didn't find it very outgoing on his behalf after he had seen what she did for the other two. ''Wow, you made the caf.'' He said monotonously when she handed him his mug the second morning. ''I see you go above and beyond for Wrecker and Tech, but I'm apparently chopped convor liver.'' He scowled at her before angrily striding away, not even accepting the warm beverage.
She actually considered giving up on him, but again: If he's so upset over what happened, he must have a heart.
Late that night, Crosshair was unable to sleep again, and ended up finding his nemesis sitting on a crate in the cargo hold, doing the routine maintenance on their extra rifles and blasters. That was something he usually did, but he was quick to assume it was out of guilt or want to keep up appearances rather than compassion. ''Now you try and do more for me. Funny how it's only after I say something.''
Talla just calmly shook her head while continuing her check up on the DC-17 hand blaster in her hand. ''You misread the situation - Hunter was doing your other chores, but because of his own emotional pain he was going slower than usual, so he didn't get to this tonight, so I was finally able to do something more for you than just making the caf.'' Crosshair didn't know how to feel about this reveal, how to respond to this reveal, but she wasn't finished anyways. ''Plus, even though I've only been with you guys for a couple of weeks, I already know that you're very different from Tech and Wrecker.'' She sent up at him a knowing look through her lashes, ''If I tried getting you out of your room or hugging you, you would have bit my head off, and I mean that literally, so I thought it best that I gave you space and when Hunter reached his limits I'd step in and help you out more.''
Again, he didn't know what to say to that, for she certainly appeared to be right - he had misread the situation. He wouldn't accept it of course, and quickly turned the conversation around, lest he start believing her lies. ''You need to go to sleep.'' He asserted instead, crossing his arms and leaning against a crate pile next to her and giving off a fake relaxed mood, trying to make her think he was falling for her lies instead, because Talla did have a blaster in her skilled hands. It would be easy for her to take her nemesis out, but he figured she was smart enough to not stupidly do it - there'd be no believable cover story to the others.
Better safe than sorry though.
''You're one to talk.'' Talla retorted lightheartedly, setting aside the blaster inside the padded case it came from and picking up another spare to look over. ''This is your third night in a row not sleeping.''
He was not used to having another light-sleeper in the group. ''I'll be fine.'' He claimed defensively.
The blaster clicked as she snapped the powerpack back in, ''Then so will I.''
Crosshair rolled his eyes at her stubbornness. Whether it was for manipulation purposes, or just because she was too nice, he found himself infuriatingly unsure of. ''You've been running yourself to the ground helping everyone out.''
The glance of disbelief he received from Talla was teasing, for she wanted to keep the mood relaxed so HE'D stay relaxed, as she didn't want a repeat of their last argument. ''Is the emotionless, borderline sociopathic sniper of the Bad Batch actually concerned about me?''
Crosshair sneered, utterly repulsed at the assumption. ''Don't insult me. We can't have you falling asleep during our next mission and screwing things up.''
A wave of the blaster - their means of defense - emphasized her point. ''We also can't have faulty weapons, because that'd screw things up real nice too, wouldn't it?''
Crosshair huffed with another roll of his eyes, pondered his next actions very carefully for a minute, then ended up walking to the line of rifles leaning against another crate across from him, picked one up and plopped down on a crate across from the Clone Agent.
As a result, the corners of Talla's lips lifted in triumph, thinking maybe this was his silent way of saying he'd help out, so she'd get to bed at a decent time.
''Don't read too much into it.'' Crosshair made sure to growl, and she chuckled, but swiftly silenced herself when he gave her a scathing look. He was only doing this because the methodical checking and cleaning of a rifle was something that always calmed him down, and he had already done so with his precious Firepuncher three times already - it now gleamed even in Kamino's pitiful sunlight.
The two of them worked in silence... and again he'd never admit it, but Crosshair's mood did lift as the time went on... as much as it could for a guy like him... and he actually did become relaxed.
Talla would go so far as to say that the two of them experienced comfortable silence. Hopefully this meant things between them were looking up.
Hunter
You would think that helping these three out would be what sucked all the energy out of Talla, but no, it actually wasn't. Most of her energy was spent keeping an eye on the stoic leader of the Bad Batch.
Hunter worked himself to death, taking over lots of Crosshair and Wrecker's chores when they didn't have motivation to complete them plus his own on top of that, and the work he did as Sergeant of the squad shoveled into that hole he was digging himself into. And being a light sleeper and having the room next to his, Talla knew he worked late into the night, crashed around 4am for an hour or two, then trudged through the day again trying to keep a brave face on for his younger brothers. Her surveillance also revealed wasn't eating anything much period, living on straight caf and a few bites of ration bars, and with all of this plus the emotional turmoil the usually calm, cool and collected leader had become a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.
Unfortunately for Talla, she was the cause of Hunter blowing up... and had lost track of how many times he had lost his cool because of her since joining the team.
Hunter stayed behind on the ship while the rest went to the mess hall for lunch on the third day since the Battle for Kamino, and while they were gone Hunter answered a call from Commander Cody, who wanted to check in and remind them that the mission Rex delivered to them wasn't time sensitive, but hopefully they'd be in a better frame of mind within the week.
Of course, Hunter had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. "What mission?"
"... The one Captain Rex ended up giving to Talla." Commander Cody repeated with some hesitation, "... she was supposed to relay the information..."
There was an awkward silence as both realized that Talla had, in fact, NOT informed Hunter of the mission. And by Hunter's aura of wrath that could be literally felt through the hologram, Cody knew the poor woman was in for it again.
Needless to say, when Talla walked back into the ship she was met with a seething cauldron of rage once more.
"You received a mission and didn't tell me about it?!" Hunter roared when she and the rest of the boys walked into the common area.
Her fearful shock could not be contained. "How'd you find out?"
This confirmation she had kept it secret did not make him any less furious. "Why didn't you say anything?!"
Talla knew she had to tread lightly, and explained her justified reasoning slowly and carefully, "I just figured you all needed a couple of days to process 99's death before we went back to work, and when Captain Rex told me that this mission wasn't time sensitive, I thought it was something like a..." She shrugged sheepishly, "A divine intervention, perhaps?"
It wouldn't matter how she said it though, Hunter was FURIOUS. "How dare you assume we can't do our job!" He roared again.
"I didn't say that." Her tone was still even, which only succeeded in frustrating him more. Calmly gesturing to the other three guys who were watching with wide eyes their Sergeant rage at their new squad member yet again, Talla tried getting through to him, "Look, these three might be able to handle a mission, but you're in no way ready to." Hunter's glare intensified, but she pressed on, tremendously wanting him to see reason. "You're barely sleeping, barely eating, and emotionally all over the place -"
"Leave us!" He barked to the others, which snapped them out of their stupor and then they quickly obliged, scurrying to their rooms, each throwing over their shoulder a pitying glance at Talla before their doors shut behind them. Crosshair usually enjoyed the drama, but now it just made him uncomfortable. And sorry for her. And confused as to why she made Hunter lose it so easily so much. The sniper had probably done far worse things than her in his days.
Once they were out of earshot, Talla tried justifying her actions. "Hunter, I was trying to look out for you -"
But he was in Sergeant Mode, and it was working overtime, not even allowing them to discuss this in a friendly manner. It was Silva all over again. "First, you overstep your boundaries," Hunter interrupted, "Then, you withhold important information I am entitled to know, and now you've questioned my authority in front of the squad and humiliated me in front of Commander Cody - you're way out of line, soldier."
Her clamming up and sputtering out apologies was just a natural response after Silva and before that, the evil Kaminoan labs with their evil scientists, who acted as if she could do no good as well. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to -"
"No, you never do." He crudely remarked, then held his palm out. "Give me the puck."
Wide-eyed Talla held his gaze for a moment. I was just trying to help - helping people is in my blood! How did helping my friend end up backfiring so badly?
She could only sigh in defeat when he snapped his fingers in a silent order to give him the puck now, and the Clone Agent pulled it out from her belt and smacked it into his palm, and rightly guessing she already knew the information within this digital silver disk he ordered her to fire up the ship.
They were to leave immediately.
(Some Hours Later)
The ship landed in a secluded spot on the jungle planet about twenty clicks south from the rebel base so they could avoid being detected on any ground floor scanners, and they planned on riding their speeders the rest of the way.
As the large back ramp lowered Hunter gave instructions for what each member of the Bad Batch would be required to do... except Talla.
"... And, what will I be doing?" She questioned after a confused pause, thinking he forgot about her being here, which would be understandable - she'd only been with them for a short while. It'd make sense she wasn't integrated into their strike plans yet.
"You're guarding the ship." He disclosed shortly as he led his bike and the other soldiers with theirs down the ramp.
Talla questioned her above average hearing for a moment. "What?"
"Did I stutter?" Hunter snapped back over his shoulder.
At this, her eyes turned to slits under her helmet at the insult. "You can't be serious." She was fully geared up and eager for some action, and he wanted her to stay with the ship?! That is such a rookie's job, not for a soldier of my caliber! And I really wanted to see the jungle - I've never seen a jungle!
Hunter abruptly stopped his descent, and the rest of the Bad Batch boys stepped aside so they wouldn't be caught in the crossfire as he released the handlebars of his bike from his vice like grip and slowly whirled back towards her. "Are you going to add questioning direct orders to your list of incompetent behavior?" He challenged in a dangerous tone. "You're staying with the ship, and it's not up for discussion."He wasn't going to wait for a reply and made to grip his speeder again, but then remembered that she had the ability to find the base later on if she got defiant, and promptly whirled on her again, "And don't even thinkabout coming after us, do I make myself clear, soldier?"
Forget being intimidated, Talla's hands turned to fists at her sides and she pressed her tongue against her inner cheek. This is unfair treatment! I was thinking about the health of my friends when I didn't say anything about the mission!Though they both wore helmets there was a heated staring contest between the Sergeant and Agent. Hunter dared her to speak against his order, and boy did Talla want to. Except Rex's words echoed in her mind -
'Remember to be patient with them... They're not angry with you, they're angry at what happened.'
- and she knew Hunter wasn't thinking clearly right now. Though, he never seemed to be able to think clearly around her in the first place. What up with that, anyways?
It took a deep breath through her nose and releasing it several seconds later through her mouth in an act of cruel defeat again before she trusted her voice would not be shaky with fear or white-hot anger. She was feeling both, and it was not a very fun sensation combo. "Sir, yes sir." She reluctantly conceded before sharply turning on her heel and stalking back into the ship, jabbing the control panel on the way in to close the ramp.
Even her nemesis had to admit, this was kinda messed up. But neither Crosshair nor his other two brothers felt the courage to stand up to Hunter, even if he was being irrational... because he was being irrational. No telling how he'd react to orders being disobeyed right now, even if it was their squad's forte.
Taking off her helmet, Talla blew a raspberry. It was going to be a long, boring few hours... Or however long it would take for her team to infiltrate that rebel base and retrieve the leader.
It could be DAYS!
The only thing she could do was meander into the cockpit, flop down in the pilot's chair and turn on the sensors to survey the ships surroundings in case of intruders. That was the only requirement for the job 'Guarding the ship.'
And it was boring as kriff.
The only 'exciting' thing that happened was the slight pitter patter of an on again off again light deluge after two hours of idly turning her chair back and forth in all-consuming boredom. "OoOoOoo, a rain shower." She observed dryly. "Time to break out the blaster cannons and rocket launchers."
Since joining the squad, Talla had wanted nothing more than to be friends with Hunter and be a friend for him ever since 99 died. But that didn't mean right now, in this moment, when his treatment while understandable yet at the same time completely uncalled for, that didn't mean she was above hoping his blacks would get soaked underneath his armor and for the whole duration of the mission he'd be dealing with a sick case of chafing, which would be more irritating for him than with anyone else.
But as soon as the mean thought came, she dismissed it.
Kept coming back though.
Fortunately for the Agent, a comm alert came in on the projector Tech had taught her how to install on her wrist commlink. With furrowed eyebrows she answered it and was extremely happy to see her female Togruta friend appear! "Ahsoka!" She exclaimed in excitement, perking up immediately.
Sitting cross-legged on her end, Ahsoka greeted Talla with a smile mirroring her excitement, "Hey, Talla! Sorry it's taken me so long to get a hold of you, but between Commander and Jedi duties, I really don't have much spare time. I got a couple of hours to relax before I meet up with my master though."
"Don't worry about it!" Talla reassured her. "You've called at exactly the right time! I thought I was going to be bored out of my mind this entire mission."
(Some More Hours Later, probably a whole day... or maybe just a couple of hours... boredom makes you lose track of time)
(Side note: It was roughly thirty-eight hours, give or take)
Conversation flowed easily between the young Jedi and Clone Agent, but eventually the comms were jammed, no doubt by the insurgents, so Talla was left to her own devices. Hunter had given her a direct order to stay with the ship, so she had no way of knowing their progress, what their status was in general! Or even the capability of communicating with anyone else to entertain her!
During their celebration lunch on Kamino, Fives had told her about his squad's first assignment - guarding the Rishi Moon Outpost - and now she finally understood the boredom his squad experienced. And Talla knew that taking out this base could take days or possibly even longer, so that doubled her frustrations at being left to carry out this boring task.
When the sensor on the console came to life, signaling the boys had returned, she didn't need wings to fly across the ship and meet them.
Except, Talla was expecting them to bring back an extra passenger, the rebellions leader who turned out to be a female orange twi'lek. Her unconscious figure was slung over Wrecker's shoulder like a sack of Kinyenian potatoes, hands in binders and mouth gagged. But she was not expecting Tech's face to be twisted in pain and pale as a ghost, and him holding onto Crosshair as if his life depended on it.
"What happened?!" She questioned anxiously as the wounded soldier and his human crutch slowly made their way up the ramp. They had appeared to walk the whole twenty kilometers back, the speeder bikes nowhere in sight!
"I sustained a blaster bolt to my left thigh." Tech informed Talla as he was transferred from Crosshair to the second medic of the squad, relieving the sniper who had been forced to be the human crutch the whole journey because Hunter refused to go anywhere near Tech. After Talla murmured an encouraging 'I gotcha, buddy!' when Tech dangerously swayed, almost faceplanting if she had not caught him and swung his arm over her shoulder, the brainy clone with sarcastic tendencies still stated his observation of the alleged dangerous insurgents albeit with gritted teeth, "I do not know how this rebellion has managed to amass its power over the planet, Talla. Those so-called 'soldiers' of theirs cannot shoot worth a damn - pardon my foul language."
"Pft, look who you're talking to, Tech." By now Talla had the capability to spout curses that would make the vilest of people blush. "Plus, if anyone's earned the right to use foul language, it's you." Talla humored him, wanting to distract him from the pain as he had to limp alongside her to medbay when all he wanted to do was collapse. With all that happened on Kamino, Tech had forgotten to bring his medpac, so he had walked the twenty kilometers back to the ship with nothing to ease the pain. He was the trooper of troopers.
Hunter, who hadn't taken off his helmet to hide the pained expression on his face, had silently trailed behind the group as they entered the ship, then wordlessly made his way into the cockpit after with a crushing guilt plaguing him on top of everything else.
Because of his brothers' visible frustrations with the Stupid Sergeant, they didn't stop him from making the unilateral decision to pilot them off to Coruscant to drop off the twi-lek, but Talla did send a worried glance in the Stupid Sergeants direction before heaving Tech through the door into the medbay, gently depositing him onto the edge of the hospital bed. "Let's get you fixed up." She said softly, then Crosshair handed her the stimpak to administer painkillers via injection because that was one thing he still could not do despite his tattoo milestone a short while back. It made him want to puke just looking at the sharp medical instrument that had been used against him for evil once upon a time.
Talla though, she had been trained to be a level-headed medic on top of everything else, so it didn't affect her as much.
"Make it a double, please." Tech winced as the needle briefly pierced his leg, even though he knew that couldn't be done with a maximum dose. Worth a shot though.
It was obviously denied. "Can't do that, soldier." Talla gave Crosshair back the medical tool to disinfect while putting a comforting hand on Tech's shoulder, "But you'll definitely be feeling a lot better soon, I promise." His sigh of appreciation at the coming relief was followed by Talla helping the injured soldier to rest against the back of the raised bed so he was in a comfortable sitting position before she started her work, Crosshair on standby if she needed help.
After taking off Tech's armor with the snipers help, Talla was given a play by play from Tech that helped the wounded soldier remain calm during the treatment process while she cleaned, applied bacta gel to and then bandaged the blaster wound.
The mission was in theory pretty simple: sneak into the base, capture the leader, then use her as leverage to get everyone to surrender. Well, they had managed to sneak into the base without alerting anyone, but the target ended up setting off the intruder alarms before they stunned her, which created absolute chaos within the base. The insurgents may have been an incompetent group of idiots when it came to blasters, but the boys found out that people who couldn't shoot straight were still as dangerous as droids who couldn't shoot straight, and they unfortunately were smart enough to blow up the boys' speeder bikes so they couldn't make a hasty escape. And it appeared that since their leader was weak enough to be captured, no one cared if she got caught in the crossfire. The new objective for the traitors ended up being: 'Whoever takes out these guys, gets to be the new leader!'
There was so much wayward blaster fire, so much unpredictable explosions in the randomest places, and a large body count by the end. Thankfully, none of the Bad Batch boys were included in that number, but there were no survivors to be taken prisoner.
"We could have used some backup." Crosshair, sitting at the foot of the bed, summed up after Tech's long and detailed rant. "You could have sniped out a clear path for us from above since apparently 'we needed all hands on deck to lock down the base.'" The annoyance at Hunter's bad call was evident in his tone, and Talla didn't need to be looking up at him to know he had rolled his eyes while stating this. While they did like suicide missions if there was a way to prevent someone getting injured, they took it.
Talla shook her head regretfully, wishing she had been there, not even able to care that this was the first time Crosshair sort of admitted she was useful, and he wanted her there. And she also wasn't able to be giddy on how well they had worked together treating Tech.
They'd be a formidable team if he just allowed it -
"I'm just thankful that the mission was a success... sort of." The bandage was secured around Tech's thigh, and by now the painkillers had kicked in so his rigid shoulders slumped as he let out another breath of relief, and he finally allowed his battered and bruised body to relax against the mattress, the exhaustion from the last eventful day and a half settling in.
"Yeah, no thanks to Hunter." Wrecker growled, having joined the party after locking up the twi-lek in the small, ray-shielded prison cell within the cargo hold - a cool feature of their ship they had discovered a few days ago.
A part of Talla agreed with Wrecker, but she defended the Stupid Sergeant anyways. She couldn't explain all of his behavior towards her lately, but how bad things got today was a direct result of 99' death. "Look, cut him some slack -"
"'Cut him some slack?'" Crosshair furiously drew her attention back to his injured brother whom Wrecker was draping a blanket over. "If he hadn't had been so pigheaded -!"
"Hunter has taken 99's death just as, if not more badly than you guys." Talla revealed to them.
The concern she received for Hunter's well-being was underwhelming. Though, it was understandable. For as long as they'd known him, he'd always been level-headed.
"He seemed fine to me." Was Wrecker's opinion as he stepped away from the bed again and crossed his arms angrily, and Crosshair gave a short nod in agreement. Tech also nodded, but it was feeble as the urge to sleep was overwhelming.
"It's an act. He's been trying to be strong for you guys, but he's not eating or sleeping and drowning himself in work and everyone's chores and it's taken its toll." While the boy's shared conflicted looks, Talla made for the door. "I'm gonna go talk to him."
Despite his tiredness, Tech snapped his eyes open and his upper body up from his restful position to stop her with a frantic - "Are you sure that's wise?" She turned back to him questionably, "He may be experiencing extreme emotional turmoil now due to my being injured and might have another outburst, which he has been prone to since you joined the squad." It drove him nuts that he couldn't figure out why.
"He deserves comfort." Talla insisted, not having any other answer for him on that last part. "Maybe he's at a point now where he'll finally accept it."
Yet another thing she - or anyone - wasn't expecting was Crosshair to physically stop her from confronting the Sergeant with a fast hand on her shoulder as she passed him by. "You have a death wish or something?"
Talla faced the concerned man sitting on the edge of the bed with shock, then thought about his question for a sec. "Hunter did say I needed one to fit in with you guys."
This was meant to be a lighthearted joke, but Crosshair didn't show any signs of being amused. "If you go in there right now, when he's this agitated, there's no telling what he'll say." He removed his restraining hand to cross his arms as he spelled out how bad it would be for Talla to talk to him now. "Like Tech said, you bring out the worst in Hunter for some reason, so if you start babbling about 'the healing process' and all that crap, he's probably going to blow up again." He slyly remarked to Wrecker, "Personally, I didn't know so much rage could fit in such a small creature, did you?"
"Hey, he's got nothin' on Talla! And she's tinier!"
Wrecker laughed, Crosshair snickered, Tech was passed out so he couldn't, but Talla's short laugh on the other hand was not because she was amused at the shade thrown on her and Hunter's so-called 'vertical challenges.' In reality, her and Hunter were the average heights of their species and gender! Her laugh was more of the bitter variety because the warning offered by Crosshair was ironic coming from him. "I doubt Hunter would tell me to go kark myself, or that I'm a worthless failed experiment that belongs in a tube, wasting precious space till the end of time."
Crosshair's eyes flashed with an emotion at this verbal jab, but she didn't get her hopes up that it was guilt. "Fine, then let me rephrase - do you want to be sent back to Kamino? To Nala Se?"
The Clone Agent suppressed a shudder at the mention of the experiments and the evil scientist behind them. "Hunter promised me that he'd never bring up the deal ever again."
"That was two weeks ago." Crosshair claimed shortly. "But, and just to be clear I am very annoyed it has to be repeated a third time, you have made him unhinged for whatever reason, and personally I don't fancy another visit to Kamino if you push him over the edge."
Ah, there it was. "So, this intervention isn't because your concerned about my feelings?" This was a stark contrast to his sentiment earlier, when he wished she was there with them at the base.
Crosshair confirmed his insensitiveness with a cold, "Why should I care if he hurt your delicate little feelings?"
Wow. "Oh. My. Skies!" She was so close to giving him and Tech matching blaster wounds! "You have more mood swings than a woman on her period!" She whipped 45 degrees to Tech, who jerked awake with a snort when she yelled. "Do men get them too and I was not made aware of it?! And do they last for weeks on end instead of just one?!" It would completely explain Hunter and Crosshairs behavior, wouldn't it?
For the first time in forever, Crosshair was faced with an insult he couldn't understand. "What the hell is a period?"
"Yeah, what does that mean?" Wrecker also asked, wanting to understand the punchline.
Talla scoffed and lowered her elevated hands in displeasure. "Well, that answers my question."
Crosshair and Wrecker may not have known what a period was, but Tech in fact did. But he was too out of it to explain it to them right now, and was thankful her question was inadvertently answered, and he shifted his blanket more securely around himself and hoped they'd also inadvertently get the hint to respectfully kark off so he could sleep in peace.
Thankfully, Crosshair did get the hint and cut the convo short. "Bottom line, Hunter's not thinking clearly right now, so just leave him alone so we don't have to make your death look like an accident." He threw a conceited smirk Talla's way as he passed her on the way out. "And trust me, we can." He made sure to say, to further cement the fact that he still thought of her as easily expendable.
The stubborn side of Talla wanted to argue with the sniper. The rational side though knew he was right... about Hunter being too agitated right now, that is.
(later that night)
They were right, Hunter was having one of the lowest points of his short life. And how he was lashing out towards everyone, Talla specifically, it was not making him feel any better about himself. It had proven hard enough being around Talla before 99's death but adding in that awful factor just made him lose what little control he had on his emotions.
It was no secret that Talla reacted badly to being treated unjustly, and Hunter expected her to dish it right back to him, and you know what he wasn't wholly opposed to the idea. If anyone deserved to be yelled at it was him. While it was wrong to withhold important information like this, she didn't do it out of mutiny... she did it to look out for him.
Sitting in the dim computer room, hunched in his seat and massaging his throbbing temple, Hunter tried processing this strange phenomenon with his mush for brains that prevented him from typing up the kriffing mission report.
In battle, he knew he could count on his team to have his back. And if he was physically injured, they'd look after him, made sure he had everything he needed. But during the dark days, those first few months after their liberation from Kamino, Hunter more helped Tech in helping his brothers to try and alleviate the symptoms of their emotional trauma than actually receiving help himself. Sure, Hunter learned skills, but actually being supported as opposed to being the supporter was a boundary not really crossed. Hunter was Crosshair, Tech, and Wrecker's big brother, but also their leader. He had to be strong for them. He couldn't let them see their leader weak. Not to mention, with that complicated brother/business relationship they could also lose respect for him, which would ruin the dynamic of the team. They wouldn't trust his decisions anymore!
While this pattern thinking that distressed him was, admittedly, self-inflicted with zero facts to back it up, that was beside the point. The point was, Talla pushed aside that imaginary boundary and actually tried to support him, and he had less than kindly rebuffed her.
And Hunter had no idea how he was going to make it up to her.
All his grief, all his mistakes, it all culminated in this moment, and when Talla passed by the room without any plans on disturbing him, her enhanced ears picked up the inaudible sound of a slight sniffle. And her compassion demanded she check up on him.
Sergeant Hunter wasn't full on crying, in fact only a single tear was reluctantly allowed to escape when his eyes squeezed shut, even though he trying to prevent any from falling at all. Crying was not something he did. Hell, showing emotions in general was not something he did. But this tiny shred of evidence that proved he was suffering was enough for Talla to declare it was time for an intervention, and she cautiously stepped through the doorway and announced her presence gently. "Hunter?"
Talla figured he would know she was there before even saying a word, but his panicked jump proved otherwise. Though before she could murmur an apology for startling him the emotionless mask was put up in record speed and he didn't even turn his chair around to address her face to face, choosing to pointedly focus his attention on the abandoned monitor screen while discreetly wiping away that damned fallen tear. "What?" Old habits die hard, and this question was asked harshly as opposed to nicely. He didn't mean to, but being caught almost crying by her, he couldn't help it. Why, of all people living inside this ship, did it have to be her who stumbled upon his moment of weakness?
Again, he also asked himself: Why has the Force forsaken me?
Resilient Talla proved to be a trooper against his temper and strayed closer. "Are you -"
Didn't mean he liked it. "I'm fine." This kind-heartedness she was trying to show would be comforting to a normal person, but Hunter was not normal, and it only made him all the more unnerved. He would have preferred the yelling instead of talking about what she no doubt saw. When Talla tried negating the claim that he was fine, Hunter flipped the lid for the hundredth time since she came into his life and snapped over his shoulder. "Talla, can you just leave me alone?!"
He expected, he hoped for yelling, but instead he got his wish - she meekly left without saying another word. And that made him feel ten times worse than what he was feeling before. Geez, how can that even be possible?!
An apology was in order, Hunter knew that. But how could he apologize without actually talking about what she saw? This dilemma is what caused him to delay an excruciating five minutes before following her trail and finding Talla in the kitchen, that being her original destination when she was forced to leave her cozy bed at the ungodly hour of 2am due to a nightmare. Her favorite snack, blue macarons, had proven to always make things better.
Except he didn't find her stuffing her face full of those strangely colored cookies. Instead, once Hunter stepped into the kitchenette, a mug of something warm was held out to him before any apologies spilled from his mouth. "Drink this." Talla commanded with a no-nonsense face.
There were some suspicions. Not that Hunter didn't trust Talla, he just didn't trust Angry Talla. Though she didn't even look remotely angry, and that was even more suspicious. "Is this poisoned?" He asked unsurely before accepting the kind gesture that was in no way deserved. It certainly smelled like that calming Jeru tea Tech bought a stash of, but that didn't mean she couldn't slip something a little LETHAL into it.
Hunter may have earned an angry outburst, but he didn't want to die just yet.
Talla got a sense of déjà vu that made her eyes roll. "That's the second time someone's asked me that. Do I really look like the type of woman who would poison someone who upset her?"
If she had been asked this not once but twice, then it was obviously a possibility they didn't put past her.
Hunter didn't say that of course. "Guess not." He wisely muttered instead, uneasily accepting the steaming beverage, but his paranoia forced him to make sure and he shoved the mug towards her lips. "You take a sip first." He instructed with eyes squinted in mistrust.
Another roll of the eyes, but Talla placed her hands over his on the mug and she did just that, and both tried not to react to the sparks that were always present when they touched. When she didn't drop dead after swallowing the small gulp of sweet-flavored tea, her dramatic response included slight jazz hands and a mocking smile. "See? Not poisoned!" Now, she could very well have the antidote in the pocket of her sweatpants or even taken it beforehand, but that seemed a little too paranoid. "Come on, I'm more of a slice 'em and dice 'em type when it comes to my victims, Hunter." Talla reassured him when he still hesitated. But it wasn't reassuring at all because A) it was concerning she even had a preference on how to kill in the first place, and B) there just so happened to be a discarded knife on the edge of the sink. She noticed the flick of his anxious eyes towards the eating utensil and did find the humor in it. "Don't worry, I'm not mad at you." She chuckled.
Talla was full of surprises. "You're not?" Upon further inspection of her demeanor, Hunter couldn't believe that. There was a glint of something in her eyes he didn't think he was going to like.
And he was right. "I'm a wee bit miffed about all the yelling and snapping and hissy fits," She admitted without even a slight rise in blood pressure, and the second part revealed why, "But that's okay, because I have made the unilateral decision to stage an intervention," While his heart sank, she raised her chin with the authority of a senator or even a queen, "And it's taking place whether you like it or not."
"And I'm out." Hunter stubbornly declared, and made a beeline to the door, "Goodnight."
Except Talla was faster in blocking his exit. Haughtily crossing her arms, she gave the disgruntled man a look that said, 'I dare you to try and pass me.'
Not a problem, right? He could just squeeze past her.
Nope, now an arm possessing inhuman strength was blocking his way.
That's alright, he could duck under it and be free!
Nope, now blocking his exit was a leg with that same freakish capability he was starting to find annoying.
And Hunter knew he couldn't shove the strength enhanced clone out of the way even if he wasn't weak from starvation and exhaustion.
The human roadblock didn't pretend his sigh of bitter defeat wasn't music to her ears, and further annoyed him by declaring with a victorious smirk, "Just so you know, I'm not letting you leave until you hear what I have to say."
Hunter should just accept that exasperation came with the territory of knowing this Special Agent Clone. Maybe it'd make things easier. "Tal, I don't want to talk about this."
His pleas were futile. "Too bad!"
Hunter let out a sharp breath through his nose and counted to ten. "What happened to that whole 'compassion' thing, huh?"
She unsympathetically shrugged with her arm that wasn't busy restricting him. "It wasn't working, so like with Crosshair's bitchy tendencies I had to adapt, and I've decided to, ironically, take a page from Crosshair's behavioral profile and will for the next five minutes be severe and unyielding, and after that you can do whatever the hell you want, but I hope my words will have a positive impact on your mental and emotional health."
Force, she sounds like a kriffing medical journal! And he had never in his life been in the mood for those, but she didn't exactly give him a choice.
"You said we're friends and what I've learned about friendship is that if your friend is acting stupid, you either join them so they don't do the stupid thing alone, or you help them stop doing the stupid thing altogether, and since your being stupid is making you unhinged and having catastrophic consequences on the safety of the squad, then I'm forced to stop doing the first and will now be doing the second." Now he understood that glint in her eyes he didn't like - it was the spark of unrelenting determination. "So, you're going to shut up and listen to me because there's no way you can pry me out of this doorway."
There was still one more thing Hunter could try, and he copied her authoritative raise of the chin and tone of voice. "As the Sergeant, I order you to let me leave."
The challenging raise of the brow in return did not bode well for him. "Really? You wanna play that card?" His resolve only faltered but didn't break, so she gave a dangerous laugh. "You told me that dynamic is only needed on the battlefield, but if you want to play by those terms, fine!" She tossed her head, the sassy flick of her hair demonstrating her unwavering belief in her checkmate, "As one of two professionally trained medics in this squad, when it comes to health crisis of any type, I technically outrank you 'Sarge.'"
It was not fair a woman five(ish) inches shorter and roughly two-thirds Hunter's size could successfully stand in his way between him and the safe haven that was his room where he could be miserable in peace.
His beautiful human roadblock didn't join in on his brooding and instead raised and perched herself more comfortably in his exit to freedom, back and feet supporting her weight on opposite sides of the doorjam, and for extra flair she even comically crossed one leg over the other and folded her hands in her lap, as if they were having a completely normal discussion under normal circumstances. "First off, I'm not forcing you to talk about your feelings, I know talking isn't your thing, so I'm going to talk and as I stated before you're going to shut up and listen." Knowing he'd be here a while, against his will mind you, Hunter made himself also 'comfortable' by casually leaned against the wall that allowed him to face her and began sipping his tea since there was nothing else he could do, all the while counting to ten and beyond to keep his sanity in check. "Now, I understand you're trying to be strong for your brothers while simultaneously wearing yourself down to the ground to distract yourself from your own grief, but full disclosure - that is not a healthy way to cope, Hunter.
"One healthy way to cope is by opening up to someone your close with which ideally would be your own brothers, but we've just established that talking even with them is not your thing, though they're the only ones in the universe who can understand every single thing you're going through -" A sideways warning glance came at him, "Feel free to explain why you won't by the way, otherwise you're going to hear a whole 'nother prepared rant about every single thing I've learned about family through observing yours."
This school of thought, he finally did reveal to someone because there were no words to describe how much he didn't want to hear TWO RANTS AT THE UNGODLY HOUR OF 2AM IN THE MORNING! He was barely even processing to this one, counting all the way to 43 not helping him feel any less calmer. "I'm the leader of this squad, Talla." He really thought that would be enough of an explanation.
"... And?"
But apparently, the smartest woman in the galaxy needed it spelled out for her. Force, he just wanted this torture to end! He hadn't talked about his issues since...
... he had never talked about his issues. As a cadet to 99 yeah, but never during his career as a Sergeant, not even with 99. Once he was required to take on the leadership role he was groomed for, he kept everything bottled up to make sure no one questioned his decisions. He was completely out of his comfort zone now and found the mug of dark tea in his hands something easier to focus on then her keen eyes that seemed to look right through him. "I'm expected to be strong for everyone, so if I allow myself to be so weak and vulnerable, the soldiers under my authority will lose respect for me."
There was a tense pause as she processed this spilling of his guts. There was a slow nod that said she acknowledged his confession. Then came the severe and unyielding part, but unlike Crosshair it wasn't to tear him down, instead to build him up. "Okay, that protocol is understandable within a normal squad of troopers, but you guys aren't normal, are you? You pride yourself in not being normal, so those normal standards between a leader and their subordinates don't really apply here, do they?"
Hunter couldn't decide if he was annoyed that she was contradicting his self-inflicted torment with straight facts to end it, because then he'd have no real excuse to keep things bottled up anymore. On the flipside, the self-inflicted torture would be over, and maybe his mental and emotional state could benefit from her rant. Then came the annoyance again because he didn't want her to have the satisfaction of being right.
This conversation had him on a worse emotional rollercoaster then what he suffered since 99 died!
And she wasn't finished. But it turned out to not be necessarily a bad thing. "The others were annoyed at what happened, but it stopped when I explained what was going on with you." His head raised to display his surprise. They aren't upset? "That pretty much guarantees they haven't lost their respect, don't you think?" Yeah, I guess... "And just to further squash that pattern of thinking I, someone not a member of your family, has watched you unravel from the second the news about 99 was broken to you, endured your emotional outbursts and fixed your critical mistakes, yet I can honestly say you haven't lost a measure of my respect."
That family comment didn't sit well with him, but that was another battle for another time. He focused his attention on her saying she hadn't lost even a little bit of respect... something he didn't even know he had in the first place. "Why?" He truly wondered. After all he had put her through, couldn't think up of a single reason why she'd still think well of him. I mean, obviously she didn't feel like a part of their family yet, even though they'd already been through two battles together, and suffered death, near-death, trauma - Hell, she was a full-fledged member of the Bad Batch family in his book.
"I know you're not heartless." All of my behavior points to the contrary. "Yeah, you don't like to show it, but you're attentive and selfless and considerate, except right now your wounded. If I don't think badly of Tech healing from his injury, so should be the same with you, I don't think badly of you and the emotional wounds you've received. You just lost a loved one in the middle of another huge change in your life - me joining the team - so you're dealing with a transitional period and grief at the exact same time. But I see the whole person you are, Hunter, not just the struggles." The purposely forgotten compassionate manner came back because Talla felt she had doled out enough 'tough love,' and preferred not resembling the cold and heartless Nala Se, and listed examples of his good qualities his self-loathing had buried deep. "You're the man who came back to rescue me on Silva instead of letting me die from my own rash decision to maintain the 100% success rate; I'm told you didn't leave my side when I was recovering in the hospital; and you've been there for me when I needed someone to talk to despite your anti-social tendencies, and I'm sure your brothers can attest to all this."
Hunter briefly wondered why she didn't use this gracious reasoning when it came to Crosshair, but she probably did except the sniper had made sure there was next to no evidence whatsoever that he actually had a heart. Hunter, apparently, had provided some evidence. And with all the mental health mumbo jumbo Tech has most likely filled her head with so she could understand the C-PTSD and all that jazz, Agent Talla had I guess become Talla, 'licensed' Therapist, Phycologist, and whatever other professional position existed in the mental health field, which meant she was more adept at reading people than before, thus concluding Hunter was a nice guy, and Crosshair was a high-functioning sociopath.
For obvious reasons, Hunter still doubted these diagnoses.
Talla's voice brought him back to the present, having yet again not finished. "And while I don't quite know all there is with how the galaxy works, I don't think it's right to think that just because you're the leader, you're not allowed to feel, or receive comfort if you need it." Hunter had lost count at how many times his own words were thrown back at his face, and he seriously considered putting the kibosh on trying to talk to people altogether if it just meant it'd be used against him later. "You told me once that even though we're bred for war, we're still human, so it's a completely normal human thing that you're experiencing grief, and you deserve comfort just as much as Tech or Wrecker or even Crosshair does."
Hunter was definitely not used to showing his vulnerable side anymore, or receiving comfort for that matter, and his unease showed itself by a shift of his feet and fleeting eye contact, which Talla picked up on, and gave him a smile that hopefully told him he shouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed because she was not putting him down for feeling feelings. "If you still don't want your brothers to see you at your lowest moments because of the imaginary risk you'll lose their respect, then I just want you to know that I'm here for you. And my respect won't go away unless you, I don't know, kick a tooka kitten or something." She joked, and it succeeded in earning a short half-hearted chuckle from the self-conscious man, "I'll already know when it's bad time for you, so you may as well accept my support, and we don't even have to talk! There's a plethora of other things we can do that will help you feel better."
By now, Hunter figured even if he rebuffed her again, Dr. Talla would still be his shadow if he was feeling down because what he was doing before wasn't helping at all with working through the pain, so he might as well know what he'd be up against and prepare himself for the inevitable. "Like what?" He queried softly.
"Basically, we can just do something, anything together so that you're not alone for those really low moments, because if there's one thing I do understand about your situation, Hunter, is that it's not fun being alone when you're struggling."
That was a valid claim. Talla was all alone down there in the Kaminoan Labs, with zero support or even a person to share in her pain, unlike him. This is what finally made him agree to her intervention. "...Alright, I'll bite - what do you suggest would help, Doctor?"
How it was possible for her to be even more perky than she already was, in the middle of the night of all times, Hunter would never know. But hearing him sort of, kind of agree to her support, it sent her all the way to cloud nine! "If we're planet-side, we can... go for a walk! Or we can watch holovids at a volume we choose!" She gasped in excitement when a truly amazing idea came to her, and she couldn't stop her hand from hitting his shoulder a couple of times in excitement. "Oh! We can even train! We couldn't do like hand-to-hand stuff, but I bet you'd be great with a vibrosword!"
There would probably be a hand-shaped bruise on his shoulder by morning, but he had to be honest - none of those ideas sounded terrible. At least he didn't have to sit in a circle and talk about his feelings. Hunter gave a faint smile, his grief and guilt continuing to weigh heavily on him, but it was still a genuine, small smile and his eyes revealed the depth of his sincerity at her offering this kindness in spite of the crap he put her through. "You're something else."
Talla simpered, pleased that this conversation proved to be yet another victory for her. "If that is your way of saying 'I'm Sorry' and 'Thank You,' then you're forgiven and you're welcome."
It was indeed both, but in addition it was also him admitting to himself that he had to be cursed or something. His luck had run out, or the Force was working against him, or karma was indeed a bitch, either way one or two or all of these had to be responsible for his misfortunes.
His friend, his beautiful female friend who was woefully also a soldier in his squadron, the one he had told himself repeatedly was -
!OFF LIMITS!
- not only did he find her attractive... but she also had proven to have a great personality and a heart of gold as well, regardless of all the extenuating circumstances in her life trying to prove otherwise.
*cough* Crosshair, the prickly stringbean *cough cough*
There was no denying it. Sergeant Hunter was in danger of falling for Special Agent Talla.
He was in trouble.
He was not kidding, Hunter swore his heart fluttered and sank at the same time with this realization. And no, he was not going to ask Tech if that was even scientifically possible.
Having said everything that needed to be said, Talla declared this intervention over, and since her hand was still on his shoulder it was used as an aid for keeping herself steady as she hopped down from her perch and kindly released Hunter from this hostage situation. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea, She mentally lamented as her back felt very much abused, but kept her smile on for Hunter and gave his shoulder a final squeeze before letting him go. "Now, I want you to get some sleep, got it soldier?"
Boy, it was strange being referred as that. "I can't." He promptly disobeyed, swiping his free hand down his tired face. All this emotional crap was exhausting, and yet he still knew he wouldn't fall asleep. Physically and emotionally, he was spent, but mentally he was still running a marathon. "I gotta finish the kriffing mission report."
Light bulb! "Ooo, I'm great with reports!" Talla enthusiastically offered.
He blinked down at the woman barely able to contain her excitement. "Seriously? You want to tediously write down every single little, tiny itty-bitty detail about what happened on this mission, which includes informing them that four of our brand-new expensive speeders have already been destroyed?"
"Uh, yeah!" She told him, as if it was the most obvious thing in the galaxy. "I love anything to do with organization, you should know that by now!"
True. "But you don't even know what happened because I - erm - you know -" Why did I even bring it up? He mentally smacked his forehead over and over while saying: Stupid, Stupid, Stupid -!
Thankfully, she waved a dismissive hand, saying 'Water Under the Bridge!' "I got a pretty detailed play-by-play from the others, but you can jump in to fill in any blanks if you want!"
Hunter scoffed in bewilderment but was pleased, nonetheless. "Then by all means - knock yourself out." He felt like he was using her, but the Sergeant loathed the one rule he couldn't break - submitting mission reports. If it makes her happy though, who am I to deny her that? Maker knows I've given her every reason to not be. And she wants to be helpful, and this was helpful. And it's not like they'll ever know anyways!
"Yes!" She cheered, and Hunter would have worried the others would be rudely awaken but let's face it - Tech and Wrecker could and did also sleep through hurricanes, just like Crosshair. The fact they had not gotten up during the whole duration of their not-so-quiet, one-sided discussion was proof of this.
Talla was truthful in saying that she didn't poison the tea she gave him... the first cup, that is. That didn't mean she didn't with the second one he shyly requested before they start working.
It actually wasn't poisoned, per se! But Talla may have faked accidentally burning her finger on the scalding hot water while pouring it into the mug. And she may have used that as an excuse to run into the medbay real quick to 'put some bacta gel on it.' And she may have used that lie as a cover to sneakily find the small vial of liquid melatonin, to which she'd slip a few tasteless drops into Hunter's tea when he wasn't looking.
That natural supplement did not work for Talla, but it could work for Hunter. And Hunter needed some sleep.
It's for a noble cause. Talla told herself when she plucked the vile of sleep-inducing substance from its assigned spot in the medicine cabinet.
I'm not doing anything wrong. Talla told herself when she administered four droplets into the tea with a shaky hand.
I have a good case. Talla told herself when she gave the mug to the thankful Sergeant who had no idea whatsoever the Special Agent had medicinally laced his tea.
And Talla mentally repeated these anxious mantras over and over and over again as he drained that second cup while next to him, she sat cross-legged and typed up the mission report with his datapad, trying to not act suspicious.
Hunter discovered he liked this tea even though it was sweet and syrup-like in texture. Maybe it was the calming effect of the blend and overall soothing nature of a warm beverage that didn't have caffeine, which would heighten his already enhanced senses. Either way, Hunter felt so calm and relaxed even that he started nodding off halfway through Talla typing up the report. Next thing he knew, there was an angelic voice urging him to not fight the sleepiness, and a gentle push coaxed him to lay down. Hunter had no idea how or when he ended up back in his room and now his bed, or when he took off his bandana, but he laid his heavy head against his comfy pillow, and he pulled his comforter that also magically appeared securely around his otherwise limp body. The last thing the worn-out Sarge remembered was the brush of something soft against his cheek before he experienced the first good night's sleep he's had since 99 died.
In reality, he was still in the common area and ended up passing out on the couch because the melatonin Talla dosed him with shockingly worked. It was Talla who removed his bandana when she saw him nodding off, and Talla brought his pillow and comforter out from his room, so he'd have the perfect recipe for a good night's sleep, and it was Talla who coaxed him to lay down on the couch and not fight the sleepiness.
All guilt she had for 'poisoning him' faded into the background as she saw how peaceful he looked, even if it was mostly because of the 'drugging.' And she couldn't help but brush the back of her hand against her friend's cheek in what was hopefully a soothing and totally not creepy way, sadly noting the stubble because he had been too out of it to shave properly like he always did, and along those sad lines she noted the enormous dark circles under his eyes from going on five days without a proper night's sleep, which with feather like strokes she brushed with her thumb and sighed regretfully. Talla's heart ached for him and for his brothers for what they were going through, even if she didn't fully understand the situation.
As she returned to her seat in the corner of the shared couch and finished the report while watching over Hunter to make sure he slept peacefully, Talla could only pray he would not put two and two together on what happened upon waking up, which would ruin the elation over the huge milestone the pair had reached in their friendship - the trust that they could be vulnerable around each other went both ways now.
She couldn't exactly calculate which would be a more probable reaction to being served laced tea that made him sleep against his will:
1.) Thankfulness because by the Moons of Gozgo he finally got some much-needed damn sleep!
... Or 2.) Righteous rage and loss of newfound trust because she forced him to get some much-needed damn sleep.
Yeah, she really didn't want to find out the results.
But even with that stress and the figurative dark cloud casting a gloomy shadow over everything because of poor 99, that new trust specifically between her and him made her strangely giddy. The butterflies in her tummy were through the roof! Sure, Tech and Wrecker also felt comfortable enough to be sad and depressed around her... with Hunter though it felt different. Maybe it was because he wasn't open with anyone else, and it was her exclusively who he opened up to. Talla didn't give him a choice really, but he had agreed to doing activities together when he was down when he could have said no and gone to his brothers, which meant Hunter was okay spending time together without his brothers around and right now he trusted her more with his vulnerabilities than them, which also sent another kaleidoscope of butterflies through her system. She also felt like throwing up. And her heart palpitations were no joke. And she wasn't even touching him this time!
Again, she asked herself: What is happening?!
Shaking her head to clear it of these anxieties, Talla just hoped her help would indeed help Hunter feel less wound up and alone and depressed, something he did for her that no one else in this squad had the capability to do altogether. Sure, Tech loved to talk so she was never lacking for intellectual conversation at least; Wrecker was always ready to try cheering her up when she was down with a joke, a hug, or binge-watching their favorite holodrama; Crosshair was just one of her two major stressors since leaving Kamino. Hunter though, she could talk to about anything and everything that came to her mind, heavy or not, and he tried comforting her to the best of his abilities with his reserved nature and all, putting a hand on her shoulder or taking a stab at verbal reassurances and was also perfecting being a sincere listening ear. And he never let her go through anything alone after their reconciliation and tried to do anything to make her feel okay.
And it looked like the woman was going to be able to do the same for Hunter.
Whoa - butterflies again!
A/N:
Fun Fact: A group of butterflies is called a kaleidoscope
I have found immense joy using emojis to visually enhance my story if you can't tell XD
- Ella
