A/N: Hello, another SenRu oneshot hahaha! I just want a soft SenRu so decided to write this one.

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Rukawa was sittting on the windowsill while looking at the Shonan Sea not far away from their apartment. The window is open, and he can feel the coldness of the wind that carassed his face. He closed his eyes for a few seconds before opening them. He stared at the moon in the sky, full and bright, but alone. It's moonlight illuminate the water in the sea, making it shine while the waves gently crash into the shore.

After a few moments, Rukawa heard the door of the bathroom opened. He looked behind him and saw Akira Sendoh, his husband, wiping his hair while wearing a loose white shirt and gray sweatpants. He stared at him for a few seconds before bringing his gaze back outside. He can hear him shuffling around in their bedroom, and then, the sound of the hairdryer can be heard. When Sendoh was done drying his hair, he placed the hairdryer back to its place and approached his husband on the windowsill. He bend down a little to placed a kiss on his cheek, he smiled when he saw how the other blinked in surprise and turned to look at him. "Hey." He called out and cupped his right cheek with his one hand, his thumb rubbing the flesh under his right eye softly. "What are you thinking?" Akira can tell that Kaede has something on his mind. They've been together for 9 years now, married for the last 2 years so he will know if something is wrong with him.

Kaede placed his left hand on top of Sendoh's hand and stared at him. His face is blank as ever, but Sendoh can see in his eyes that something is bothering him. "Tell me." Sendoh urged and proceed to sit down beside him on the windowsill. It's wide and big enough for the both of them. Akira lifted Rukawa's legs and placed them on top of his lap.

Rukawa pursed his lips and looked away. Sendoh placed his left hand on top of Rukawa's lap, and his thumb drawing circles against the fabric of his pants. He let his partner took his time to voice his thoughts, not hurrying him. After a while, Rukawa turned his gaze away from outside and it landed on him. He opened his mouth to speak, and the words made Sendoh froze on his spot. His thumb that are drawing circles on Rukawa's lap stilled.

"Akira, do you regret marrying me?"

Sendoh stared at Rukawa's cerulean blues, unblinking. The lights on their bedroom are already switched off, save for the lamp beside their bed. The faint light were reflected in Rukawa's eyes, making his cerulean blues shine amidst his fringes that covers almost half of his face. It took a while before Sendoh found his voice to speak. "Why do you ask?" He says instead of answering his question and straighten his hand that are still on top of Rukawa's lap. He was truly astonished by the sudden question of his husband.

Kaede dropped his gaze on Sendoh's hand that are on his lap after hearing him speak. He did not answer his question and instead closed his eyes and hang his head down. Seeing his partner, Sendoh carefully lift Rukawa's legs away from his lap. He set them to the side and scooted closer towards Rukawa. Using his thumb and pointing finger, he pinched his husbands's chin gently to raised his head. "Kaede." He called his name softly and saw Rukawa opened his eyes. "What's wrong, love?" He asked, voice low and worry evident in his cobalt blues. He can see hesitation and sadness in his eyes. Sendoh's heart cracked a little seeing that look on his beloved. So he rubbed his thumb on his lower lip softly before leaning down to place a chaste kiss on his lips.

Rukawa's eyes closed when he felt his husband's lips on his. His eyelashes trembled gently at the softness. He then opened his eyes when he felt Sendoh retracted from his space. He was met by Akira's cobalt blue eyes looking at him worriedly. Half of his face is covered in the dark, and the wind from outside made his hair sway. A few seconds have passed, and the only sound that can be heard is from the rustling leaves outside because of the wind. Rukawa bit his lower lip before speaking. "Do you regret not having kids?"

After Kaede dropped that question, Sendoh blinked his eyes in astonishment. Of all the things he expected to hear from his spouse, he didn't expect that one. He stared at Rukawa thoughtfully, trying to search for clues in his face on where did that sudden question came from. But Rukawa's eyes doesn't show his thoughts, so he sighed before talking. "Why are you suddenly asking me these things?"

Rukawa turned his gaze outside in favor of staring at the lone streetlamp that are illuminating a part of the road, instead of meeting Sendoh's exploratory gaze. He knows Sendoh is confused at his sudden questions from him, but after arriving home from the party earlier, these thoughts didn't leave his mind. It was haunting him the whole night and he felt restless. He planned on dismissing these thoughts, but the look on Akira's face earlier kept flashing in his mind.

Seeing his partner's faraway gaze, Sendoh gently brushed Rukawa's hair away from his forehead and gently cupped one of his cheek with his hand and turned his face so he can look at him. "Kaede, what's bothering you? Why are you suddenly having these thoughts?" He asked and rubbed his cheek with his thumb. "I'm worried about you love."

After a beat of silence, Rukawa sighed and finally spoke what's bothering him the whole night. "I.." he paused, "I saw your face while playing with the kids earlier. "

Sendoh raised one of his brows when he heard his words. Confusion is etched on his face as he tried to understand Rukawa's words.

"You look so happy and I-"

Rukawa paused on his words and took a deep breath. He placed his hand on top of Sendoh's hand that is cupping his cheek. "And I can't help but think if you regret not having kids and choosing me." And then he closed his eyes.

Akira stared at his husband's face, illuminated by the light from the lamp. He roamed his eyes over his sharp eyebrows, his long eyelashes that cast a shadow on his face, his pointed nose, his pale cheeks, and finally, his eyes landed on his lips. It was thin, shaped in cupid's bow, and pinkish. He tried to register in his mind the words of Rukawa.

~~~~

The both of them attended the fourth birthday of Koshino's son earlier. His basketball teammates from Ryonan back then also attended the party so it served as a reunion for all of them. Since him and Rukawa were a couple since high school, the others are comfortable with him even though his husband is still silent with them. And since some of them have families now, they brought their own families on the party and their children played with each other.

Sendoh was good with kids since his sister has three children, one son and two daughters. So it couldn't be helped that the kids warmed up to him, and so they played with him.

But honestly, it never occured in his mind to have kids. Call it weird, but he really can't see himself as a father in the future. He may like children, but he doesn't think that he will take up the role of a father. It is a big responsibility and he doesn't think he can handle it.

~~~~~~~

Sendoh stayed silent for a moment to gather his thoughts. He was honestly surprised that Rukawa have those thoughts in him. He didn't expect that such things would bother him. To the point of thinking that he wasn't worthy of him. Sendoh's heart ache at that thought, but he really can't blame Rukawa. Almost all their friends have their own families on their own now, and only few remained to stay unmarried and focused on their goals in life.

Sendoh can't help but reminisce their relationship for the last nine years. Their journey to the life they have now wasn't easy. It was a roller coaster ride for the both of them, tears were shed many times. They have their differences that threaten to break them apart, but they compromised. Because they both want it, want this relationship to work.

Many knew that they started as rivals after that faithful day. But what they didn't knew was the instant connection that they both felt when they locked eyes with each other. It was that one moment, and then fate started working to pull them towards each other. There were many hesitances at first, fears and doubt that plagued their hearts and mind. But when two people were destined to be with each other, it doesn't matter how much they deny it, doesn't matter how much they hide it. Because the gods have already decided, written their fate in the stars. The red string that the love god have placed on the both of them cannot be severed. And before they knew it, they were whispering the words hidden in their hearts to each other.

And maybe the gods were really on their side, because the rejection that the two of them were afraid to hear from their loved ones never happened. Maybe someone out there is looking over them and protecting them. Someone who sees how pure their love towards each other is. Because they were accepted by the most important people in their lives. Other people's opinion towards them be damned.

Sendoh can't help but laugh softly that made Rukawa opened his eyes to look at him. Confusion littered in his blue irises as he stared at his laughing husband.

"You fool." Sendoh says after he stopped laughing. Rukawa's brows were furrowed after hearing his husband's words. "What?"

Sendoh flicked his forehead lightly that widened his eyes from surprise. "Why are you thinking so much?"

Kaede can't help but stare at his husband, mouth slightly opened from the confusion he is feeling right now. This is not the reaction he was expecting.

"You know," Sendoh starts and smiled at him. "I never knew that you were the type to overthink things." It's true. For the past nine years that he's been with Rukawa, this is the first time he have witnessed him like this, drowned by his thoughts, and doubting himself and worth.

"You-"

Before he could even finish his sentence, Sendoh stood up and grabbed him. He encircled his waist with one of his arms, while his other hand brushed away his hair to land a kiss on his forehead. "Stop thinking too much. I never, and will never ever regret choosing and marrying you." He starts and leaned forward so their foreheads are touching. "Honestly, it hasn't occured my mind to have kids, even back then." He confessed and Rukawa looked up at him. "But, if you ever decide and want to raise kids, I'll be okay with it."

Rukawa's eyes widened and he felt his cheeks flushed after hearing his statement. Sendoh can't help but laugh that earned a glare fron Rukawa. He scowled at him. "You! That's not what I-"

He was cut off again when Sendoh leaned forward to kiss him on the lips, completely swallowing his words.

"I love you, and nothing, absolutely nothing will ever change that." He whispered into him after the kiss. He raised his left hand and kissed the ring on his ring finger. "We made an oath to each other so stop with those thoughts okay? I chose you, and will choose you over and over again."

Rukawa cannot help but feel the warmth that spread on his chest at the display of affection from Sendoh. He can feel his cheeks and ears heating up, but there's no denying of the happiness that filled his entire being at the love that he felt from Sendoh. Even after all these years, his husband, his first love, can still make his heart go into absolute chaos from his words. It doesn't matter how many times he tell him those words, his reaction is still the same as the first time he said I love you to him back then. And he thinks he'll never get tired of it.

Rukawa's whole facial features soften, and his eyes are shining with so much emotions dedicated to the person in front of him. He circled his arms around Akira's neck and leaned forward to kiss him, pouring all his emotions into the kiss because no words can describe how much he loves this man. "I love you too." He whispered into the kiss and felt Sendoh smiled on his lips.