"Good morning, Lappland. I'm Dr. Folinic. It's a pleasure to meet you."

No it wasn't, Lappland thought. She sat on the medical examination chair at the end of the room, and she pretended it was a throne, and she felt like a true princess. All she was missing was the golden crown and the virginity.

She stared up at Dr. Folinic now, regarding the Feline with a faint curiosity. She'd seen her before, orbiting around Dr. Kal'tsit and that tiny nine-tailed fox.

"Hi doc," Lappland deigned to say.

"First of all," said Dr. Folinic, the Feline from Ursus, "I'd like to apologize for scheduling your first appointment so early. I thought it would be pertinent to get it out of the way, as it were. I understand your medical visits with Ansel were much later in the day…?"

She was understating it, Lappland thought. Her visits with Ansel weren't just later in the day, they were the absolute latest they could be. She's going to miss having such a slot reserved for hers truly.

"Mm-hmm," Lappland hummed.

"Okay," said Dr. Folinic, picking up a large clipboard atop her desk. It was pristine, just as Lappland expected. No knick knacks or toys or anything fun. She'd heard that Folinic was a workaholic. She couldn't empathize with that at all. "I'm going to ask you a few questions, if you don't mind… Ansel provided me with your medical history, but it's been a while since we've… run the gauntlet, as it were."

"Sure," said Lappland.

"First of all," said Folinic, "how are you feeling?"

"Peachy," said Lappland.

"Have you taken your Oripathy medication this morning?"

"Yep," lied Lappland.

"Okay, that's good." Folinic smiled faintly, and nodded. "Please don't ever forget that. I'm sure you don't need me to tell you what happens if—"

"Doc," Lappland said with a sigh, "I think maybe we should change my meds? They—"

"Just a minute, Lappland," said Folinic, "let's run through the questions first, and then we can get to the subject of your medication. Is that clear?"

Lappland rolled her eyes, gesturing for the Feline to continue. She made a mental note to ask Dr. Folinic to put in a new prescription for her. The Oripathy medication she was taking now made her feel… off. Numb, and apathetic, and hungerless. Pathetic.

"Let's see here… do you have any questions for me before we begin properly?" Folinic asked. Lappland shook her head.

"Nope, let's just get on with it, doc."

"Very well." Folinic flipped to a new page in her packet, attached to her clipboard. She put the pen to paper, and then asked: "did you have breakfast this morning?"

"Umm…" Lappland squinted for a second. "Yes."

"What did you have to eat?"

"A banana," said Lappland. Folinic looked up and gestured for Lappland to continue, which prompted the Lupo to shake her head. "That's it."

"That's it? Just one banana?"

"That's all, doc. Wanna check?" Lappland grinned, and then held up her finger, to mime like she was going to make herself throw up.

"No, please don't do that," said Folinic, finding the gesture wholly unamusing. "Are you hungry? How is your appetite?"

"It's shit," said Lappland.

"Really? How so?"

"I've been eating less lately. Feel like I'll be able to see my ribs any day now," Lappland said, forcing out a laugh for good measure.

"I see…" Folinic jotted something down in the margin of the page. "Do you feel any chills or fatigue?"

"Chills, no. Fatigue?" Lappland furrowed her brow. "No… not really."

"Not really?" Folinic looked up from the page. "Can you remember the last time you felt fatigue?" She watched as Lappland shook her head no. "Okay. Anything else you can tell me about your constitution right now? Do you feel weak? Out of sorts?"

"No… I mean, yes," said Lappland.

"Yes?"

"I feel out of sorts," said Lappland. "And maybe a bit weaker? It's been a while since I've been in the field… or so much as sparred with somebody else."

"Let's come back to that later," Folinic said, gesturing like she was moving something aside with her hand. "Is there anything else with your general physical wellbeing?"

"Not that I can think of," Lappland muttered. Folinic nodded.

"Okay then." Folinic turned to the next page. "Let's move onto immunology. Allergies, do you have any?"

"No," said Lappland.

"No allergic reactions to anything like latex, oranges, chocolate, et cetera? No plants, either?" Lappland shook her head, and so Folinic moved on.

"Now we're on ophthalmology," said Folinic.

"My eyes?" Lappland asked. Folinic nodded.

"That's right," said the Feline, "how would you best describe your visual acuity?"

"My vision is fine," said Lappland.

"Just fine?"

"Doc," said Lappland, "the Oripathy isn't making me blind."

Just crazy, she thought, bitterly.

"Very well. If you'd like to take a vision test at any time, however, please be sure to let me know," said Folinic.

"Mm-hmm."

"We're on E-N-T now. Ear, nose, and throat," Folinic clarified, before clearing her own throat. "Ahem. Any difficulty hearing?"

"What did you say?" Lappland smiled. Folinic did not.

"Do you actually have anything going on with your ears that I should know about, seriously?"

"No," said Lappland.

"What about your nose? Any blockage of the nostrils? Trouble smelling anything at all?"

"No, doc," said Lappland, "and before you ask, no, I don't have trouble swallowing, either. Just ask any of my exes," she added with a wink.

Folinic ignored that. "I'm skipping over endocrinology, since I know you don't have diabetes… now, a family history might give us something to look out for, but—"

Folinic's eyes were on the page, but she noticed out of the corner of her eye that Lappland suddenly flinched. She decided not to access the family history avenue again, given what the medical team already knew about Lappland's family. Or rather, lack thereof.

"You don't have anything wrong with your glands, as far as we know," Folinic said honestly, "and your Oripathy doesn't seem to affect your growth in any meaningful capacity."

"Mm." Lappland just hummed, just to let Folinic know that she was still listening.

"Now we're on respiratory disorders and afflictions," said Folinic, looking up at Lappland. "Do you have trouble breathing? Any coughing fits?"

"No. Thank God," said Lappland, smiling a little. "I'm not coughing up blood, or anything like that. But it's only a matter of time, right?"

"Not necessarily. Those who are suffering from Oripathy either develop new afflictions and disabilities," said Folinic, "or their existing conditions simply worsen. In your case, however, as of now, the Oripathy hasn't spread to your lungs or diaphragm. Most of it is localized to your lower extremities."

"So I'll lose my ability to walk, first?" Lappland asked. Folinic sighed.

"Just take your medicine and everything is going to be just fine," said Folinic.

Lappland knew that Folinic was full of shit, but she opted not to press further. She only let the Feline continue.

"Cardiovascular," Folinic went on to say, "any pain or tightness in your chest? Any dizziness?"

"Nnnnnnyes," Lappland mumbled.

"Oh?"

"Ha… not chest pain, but… dizziness, sometimes," said Lappland.

"That's normal. For those who are suffering from Oripathy, I mean to say."

"Right…"

"Right, well," Folinic added, "how often do you feel dizzy? Do you feel like the room is spinning, or you are? Any motion sickness, any blurring of distant or nearby objects?"

Lappland screwed her eyes shut, and she put her hands on her temples. For a moment, it seemed like she was in true pain. "These questions are just pointless, doc."

"They're not pointless, Lappland. We want you to get better, not worse. We need you to be up-front about your conditions and symptoms, so that we can better assess and—"

"UGH…" Lappland made a sound of disgust. "Stop talking to me like that."

"Excuse me?" Folinic narrowed her eyes at Lappland.

"Stop with the docspeak, just give it to me straight," said Lappland, "I'm already exhausted. I want it to end so I can go back to sleep."

Folinic took a deep breath, before letting it pass through her lips.

"I get dizzy sometimes, okay? That's it," said Lappland, "so take it or leave me alone."

"Are you hurt?"

"What do you think, doc? Do you need your PhD to know that I'm feeling like shit?"

"...Ansel warned me that you were a difficult patient."

Lappland looked up, her expression blank as she stared at Folinic. "What?"

Folinic simply repeated herself. "Ansel warned me that you were difficult. As a patient," she said, "and that you might be uncooperative. I'm trying to help you, that's all."

"I didn't ask for your help," Lappland said.

"Why are you here, Lappland?"

"I don't know. You're talking at me. I want to go back to sleep," she said.

"No, Lappland," Folinic shook her head as she declined, "we need to get through this. We're almost done."

"Cazzate!" Lappland was yelling now, her mood flipped as simply as a light's switch, "you think I haven't been through this before? You've got, what, like thirty more questions to go at least!"

"Gastrointestinal," said Folinic.

"What?"

"Do you feel nauseous? Are you throwing up? Do you have diarrhea?"

"Go fuck yourself."

"How nice. I'll just write that right here, next to all my next questions," said Folinic, gripping her pen tightly. "'Go fuck yourself', what a nice and level-headed reply." Lappland, to her credit, remained seated.

"The next bullet point details weight loss," said Folinic, looking up to get another full-body view of the agitated Lupo in front of her. "You haven't been eating well. You certainly look like you've lost a lot of weight."

"Now even Doctor can pick me up," Lappland mumbled, referring to Rhodes Island's favorite tactician.

"You need to eat more," said Folinic.

"Questa fottuta cagna non sa niente…" Lappland smiled.

"I can understand some Siracusan, you know."

"Good girl!" Lappland taunted. "My pronunciation and grammar is a little off. It's been so long since I've been home." Folinic brushed her comment off.

"Hematology," said Folinic, and this one gave her some pause. "Now I know you aren't going to like this question, but please bear with me, Lappland. It looks like you've got scarring around your legs, specifically around your thighs and shins, closer to your ankles. It's the kind of scarring that people who suffer from Oripathy," said Folinic, "get when they yank out their crystals. Now I need you—"

Lappland stood up suddenly.

"—to be honest with—don't leave," warned Folinic, putting her hand up, "I need you to be HONEST with me, Lappland, and tell me how often, and why, you pull your Oripathy crystals out of your skin. We know it causes bleeding, and you get your Infected blood all over—"

The Lupo still doesn't want to hear it. She's walking towards the door, and Folinic has to physically stand in front of her to block her way.

"Don't go anywhere," she warned the Lupo again, "I mean it, Lappland."

"You mean it?" Lappland smiled darkly. "What are you going to do, doc? Are you going to hit me? You plan on hitting me to make me behave?" Lappland shook her head. "Get out of my way. I'm going back to bed."

"Why don't you want to do this with me, Lappland? You don't have to be my friend, but I'd like for you to be my patient."

"I don't want to do it because the questions piss me off," said Lappland, "and because they're a waste of time."

"Why do you think that?" Folinic asked.

"Because it's not going to make me better or worse. It's the same," said Lappland, shaking her head and smiling ruefully. "You ask your questions, I get my prescription, I take the medicine, and then I feel dead. Like I should be."

"Don't say that, Lappland." Folinic reached out and put a hand on the Lupo's shoulder. "Maybe you don't like me, or maybe you don't like the medical team, but please understand… We want to do whatever we can to help you."

"Why can't you people just do what I want?"

"What is it?" Folinic asked, "what do you want, Lappland?"

"I want to die."