Fate/Kyon's Order: The Return
A Haruhi Suzumiya & Fate/Grand Order Crossover
by Derald Snyder
Part 1: Arrival at Chaldea
In the year 2018, human history was incinerated by an ancient evil, the last survivors being those in Finis Chaldea, an organization dedicated to the preservation of the human order. However, due to sabotage by a mole, nearly all the Masters were killed save one, a young man by the name of Ritsuka Fujimaru.
And so it fell upon this one to time-travel to seven singularities throughout time to try and restore the foundation of history, assisted by the Demi-Servant Mash Kyrielight, supported by the surviving Chaldea staff, including the acting director, Dr. Romani Archaman, and the genius caster servant, Leonardo da Vinci.
However, one of the surviving staff, a man known as 'John Smith' by his co-workers, turned out to have secrets of his own... namely, the fact that he was friend with an extraterrestrial being by the name of Yuki Nagato, who revealed herself to be alive after the Camelot singularity, joining Chaldea's cause as a Caster-class servant. Nagato then traveled with Ritsuka and Mash to a minor singularity based in John Smith, or rather, Kyon's hometown, foiling a plot by another extraterrestrial, Kuyou Suou, to twist said time period into a Holy Grail War where none had occurred.
Following this incident's resolution, Nagato obtained a catalyst which was used to summon Kyon's love interest, Haruhi Suzumiya, as a Ruler. After a happy reunion, Haruhi assisted Ritsuka and co. in the Babylonia singularity, being one of the few still standing after Beast II's final defeat... However, Haruhi overextended herself in the final battle with Beast I Goetia, with Yuki only able to sustain her existence long enough to meet her living counterpart and transfer her memories to her before fading away. Thus, the true Haruhi resolved to assist Chaldea against the remaining Evils of Humanity, with Yuki, Kyon, and another friend by the name of Itsuki Koizumi, an esper, joining her in the SOS Brigade's latest adventure.
And so our tale begins...
*Mount Meru, Antarctica*
"Brrrr! You didn't tell me it was gonna be this cold, Kyon!" Haruhi Suzumiya protested as she rubbed her upper arms, despite wearing a thick winter coat.
"Well, it IS Antarctica," Kyon pointed out, he and the other SOS Brigade members similarly bundled up. "At least the sun's out today, and it's not a blizzard up here..."
"Indeed, it's quite a picturesque landscape," Itsuki Koizumi concurred, looking over the frozen tundra at the foot of the mountain. "Suzumiya-san is right, however. We should get inside with all due haste..."
"Understood," Yuki Nagato assented, walking forward with her suitcase to the entrance to the Chaldea facility proper.
"I wonder what's been going on since we left," Kyon mused. "I heard there was going to be an investigation from the Mages' Association..."
"We should try to downplay Suzumiya-san's abilities, then," Koizumi suggested. "We might be able to get away with the explanation that she is an esper like myself, if they pry too much..."
"Right," Haruhi nodded. "Don't worry, I know well enough to keep my powers in check now... anyway, let's hurry up and get in before we freeze to death!"
*Inside...*
"Hey there! Are you guys new arrivals, too?" a grinning teenager with blond hair greeted the group.
"I am, the rest aren't," Koizumi replied. "You are a new employee here?"
"Yup! I'm Flat Escardos! Nice to meet you!" the blond boy greeted. "So, you three have been here before? Why'd you leave?"
"Just wanted to spend some time at home for New Year's," Kyon replied. "I'm John Smith, by the way. This is Itsuki Koizumi, Yuki Nagato, and my fiancée, Haruhi Suzumiya."
"Oooh, you're gonna be married? You gonna walk down the aisle and throw flowers and all that?"
"E-eventually," Haruhi said, blushing deeply. "Still gotta work out the details, though. Weddings take a lot of planning..."
"Flat, what are you doing?" a gruff voice spoke up, belonging to a man with long brown hair and dressed in a matching suit. "Why the bloody hell are you talking about weddings for?"
"Cause those two are gonna get married! Isn't the great, Professor?" Flat responded with a grin.
"Lord El-Melloi II," Kyon greeted. "Good to see you again."
"Ah, John Smith," El-Melloi nodded. "So you have returned, as have Nagato and Suzumiya. Wait..." his brow furrowed as he glared at Haruhi. "You... you're not a servant...?"
"Nope! I'm the real deal! Servant Me went back to the throne, sadly," Haruhi explained.
"You were a Heroic Spirit?!" Flat gasped. "How did that happen? I heard humans from this era couldn't become servants or spirits!"
"No, it's highly unlikely it would occur," El-Melloi corrected. "But not impossible."
"Um, yeah, let's just say I have special powers and leave it at that for now," Haruhi said quickly. "Aaaanyway, are Kyon and Yuki's rooms still in order?"
"They should be," the professor nodded. "You weren't gone for that long, after all, though we have had a few new summonings..."
"Yeah, like that lucha libre lady! She's a lot of fun!" Flat exclaimed.
"Quetzalcoatl's here?!" Haruhi's face was split by a wide grin. "Sweet! I've been looking forward to a rematch! She won't get the better of me this time!"
"Yes, but first, we should get our things unpacked," Koizumi spoke up. "Is it all right if I stay in your room for the time being, Nagato-san?"
"It is fine," Yuki assented. "I will prepare a futon for you to sleep in."
"Right, we'll let you go and get your rooms sorted," El-Melloi said. "But you should try not use your powers too much while you're here, Miss Suzumiya... some of the new staff here I wouldn't trust as far as I can throw them."
"You're telling me what I already know, professor," Haruhi replied evenly. "But thanks anyway. C'mon Kyon, everyone, let's get to our rooms..."
*After getting unpacked...*
"This is so weird," Haruhi mused as she looked around Kyon's room, sitting on their shared bed. "I've got memories of this, and yet I know I'm seeing it for the first time in person..."
"Yeah," Kyon agreed as he shut the drawer. "Looks like the clothes that were made for your servant incarnation are a little small, though..."
"They still fit!" Haruhi protested. "Or are you implying that they show off my figure too much...?" She gave a sly smirk. "Showing stuff that only you should see..."
"Um, maybe?" Kyon reddened a bit. "(ahem) Seriously though, we should have the Clothing Department take your measurements again..."
"Sure," Haruhi nodded. "Just as long as Medea doesn't put any curses on my clothing..."
"You know she's not like that anymore," Kyon shook his head.
"Of course I know! It was a joke, Kyon!"
"I'm not laughing..."
"You hardly ever laugh! Get a sense of humor!"
"I do have a sense of humor. It just comes out as snark."
"Yeah, the King of Snark, that's you..." Haruhi felt herself getting warm. "Wow, I missed these pointless arguments we had..."
"Heh... me too," Kyon admitted, sitting on the bed next to Haruhi. "You know, I always had trouble getting to sleep here before you arrived... but when you were summoned and moved in with me, I started sleeping like a baby... at least when you let me."
"Uh, yeah... Servant Me was kinda forceful, wasn't she...?" Haruhi looked down, blushing again.
"In bed, yeah," Kyon nodded. "You weren't too bad otherwise... at least compared to how you acted in high school."
"Ugh, don't remind me," Haruhi groaned. "If I'd known half of what I know now back then... I treated everyone like shit. Mikuru especially..."
"I think you're exaggerating a little," Kyon put a hand on her shoulder. "Besides, you got better, even before you learned the truth about your powers..."
"Only because you almost socked me in the face," Haruhi sighed. "You were the only one willing or brave enough to put your foot down and say 'no' when I crossed the line... the others were either too intimidated or under orders not to intervene..."
"I think part of the reason for that is because I didn't know anything about you or your powers when we first met," Kyon pointed out. "I just thought you were a weird, eccentric girl..."
"...and what do you think of me now?" Haruhi raised her head up to look Kyon in the eye.
"...I think you're a weird, eccentric, beautiful woman."
Haruhi couldn't help but smile as she put a finger to Kyon's forehead. "Better watch your mouth, or you might get a penalty."
"Oh no, anything but that," Kyon snarked with an identical smirk. "How about I do something with my mouth that I know you'll like?"
"That depends on where," Haruhi stated.
"Right here, of course," Kyon said before locking lips with her, Haruhi closing her eyes and moaning as they slipped into an affectionate embrace...
Only to break apart as someone knocked at the door. "Suzumiya-san, Kyon-kun, are you two finished unpacking yet?"
"Leave it to Koizumi to kill the moment," Kyon deadpanned.
"He's good at that," Haruhi sighed as she separated from Kyon and stood up. "We'll be out in a second!"
After making sure they were decent, Kyon and Haruhi exited their room to meet Koizumi in the hallway. "So, what do you think?" Kyon asked the esper.
"Well, what I've seen so far seems pretty utilitarian," Koizumi commented. "Though, I have yet to glimpse the lounge or the beach resort... I did see a few of these Heroic Spirits, however, including one fox girl, of sorts..."
"Tamamo-no-mae," Haruhi nodded. "She's a kitsune, actually."
"A kitsune?! ...fascinating," Koizumi pondered. "Any other mythological beings I should be aware of?"
"There's a couple of Oni here," Kyon expounded. "Shuten's pretty much just a seductive drunkard, and Ibaraki's easily placated with sweets. If worse comes to worse, just pretend you're scared of her, that's usually enough."
"Duly noted," Koizumi nodded in assent. "Anyway, Nagato-san is on her way to meet the acting director and explain the situation..."
"Did we tell you about Da Vinci? I don't remember," Haruhi asked.
"As in Leonardo Da Vinci?" Koizumi's eyebrows went up at this. "He is the acting director?"
"Yeah, the previous acting director sacrificed himself during the final battle," Kyon explained grimly. "But that was what gave us the opportunity for victory... Anyway, Da Vinci-san was his closest confidant, and one of the first Heroic Spirits that was summoned here... it's really no surprise she took over after his death."
"She...?" Koizumi noticed.
"Um, yeah, she turned into the spitting image of Mona Lisa when she was summoned," Haruhi stuttered. "She's every bit the genius she claims to be, though. Even I had trouble wrapping my head around some of her explanations for her inventions here, and I was a straight-A student myself..."
"Just so you know, Da Vinci's not the only historical gender-flip here," Kyon deadpanned. "So try not to be too shocked, okay?"
"I shall keep that in mind," Koizumi concurred. "So then, shall go check out the lounge? We'll save the beach resort for last."
"Sounds good to me," Kyon nodded, the three going off...
*Salon de Marie*
"Looks like they've pretty much cleaned up the broken glass and debris from the final battle," Kyon noted as they entered.
"Good for them," Haruhi said. "Looks just like my servant self's memories..."
"It does seem quite high-end," Koizumi nodded. "As you would expect from the Queen of France." Looking about the lounge, he spotted a petite brunette who seemed to be up a bit higher than the others standing about, soon realizing that she was actually floating a half-foot above the ground, her feet seemingly engulfed in fire. "Ah, who might that one be?"
"Nezha," Kyon replied. "I believe she's a Chinese Buddhist deity of some sort..." At the mention of her name, Nezha promptly turned and floated over to them.
"Greetings. John Smith. Haruhi Suzumiya," Nezha said in a monotone not unlike Yuki's. Looking over at Koizumi, she asked, "Who is. New companion? Friend? New employee?"
"A friend of ours since high school," Kyon said, making introductions. "I'm just giving him a tour of the facility..."
"I assume you're floating up high so you're, ah, feet don't burn the carpet?" Koizumi guessed.
"Correct. Queen Marie. Does not like. Replacing carpet," Nezha replied.
"Is there a reason you're speaking so haltingly?" Koizumi asked.
"She is something akin to a primitive automaton, albeit a sapient one," Yuki Nagato suddenly spoke from behind the others, startling them slightly.
"You know, it's really annoying when you do that, Yuki," Haruhi turned to the interface in mild annoyance.
"I saw her. Should have. Said something. Sorry," Nezha apologized.
"It's alright, Nezha-san," Kyon shook his head. "Nagato-san's just naturally quiet..."
"I am sorry for not speaking up sooner," Yuki stated. "I have explained the situation to Da Vinci-san. She is going to try and modify the file on Suzumiya-san's servant incarnation so that she is seen as an ancestor of the current Suzumiya-san, instead of the same person."
"Ah, that way we can say that Suzumiya-san possibly inherited some power from her ancestor, if the investigators try to probe too deep," Koizumi comprehended.
"Why would. You lie?" Nezha asked, curious.
"Let's just say there's some mages we can't trust with with the truth of Haruhi's power," Kyon lowered his voice.
"Understood. I will. Keep quiet."
"Thank you, Nezha-san," Yuki said with a small nod. "By the way, Suzumiya-san, Quetzalcoatl is currently at Fantasia Resort, as is Jaguar Warrior."
"Sweet! We were just gonna head there," Haruhi grinned. "C'mon Kyon, Koizumi, let's go!" She promptly jogged off giddily...
"Hey wait up, Haruhi!" Kyon called as he and Koizumi ran to catch up.
*To be continued...*
