Fate/Kyon's Order: The Return

A Haruhi Suzumiya & Fate/Grand Order Crossover

by Derald Snyder

Part 2: Flashbacks

*Fantasia Resort*

"Oh, my..." Koizumi used a hand to shade his eyes as he looked over the sandy landscape and crystal blue ocean. "This is quite impressive, I must admit..."

"Yes," Yuki concurred.

"Wow..." Haruhi looked about in awe. "Memories are nothing compared to the real deal..." She then heard some splashing, seeing a petite woman with orange-brown hair and cat ears emerging from the water in a tiger-striped bikini. "Who's that? She looks familiar..."

"Try imagining her wearing a tiger suit," Kyon suggested in a deadpan manner.

"Oh!" Haruhi gasped in comprehension. "Hey Taiga! Remember me?!" she called.

"Huh?!" Taiga looked in Haruhi's direction. "Um, do I know mew?"

"Try imagining me in a bunny suit!" Haruhi said with a grin.

"Um..." Taiga's brow furrowed, when it suddenly came to her! "Wait, I remember! You're..."

*Flashback*

"Argh!" Ruler Haruhi grunted as she caught the enemy's paw staff with her hands! "Go on ahead! I'll deal with this cat-woman!" Ritsuka, Merlin, Mash and Ana promptly took off into the jungle toward the city of Ur...

"So, you're gonna be my sacrifice, meow?" Jaguar Warrior grinned savagely.

"Hardly!" Haruhi growled, shoving her opponent away. "I may look like a playboy bunny, but I'm the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog!"

"The what of WHAT?!" Jaguar Warrior said in confusion, allowing Haruhi to hit her with a blow to the solar plexus! She quickly recovered, however, smacking Haruhi into the air with her staff then using her speed to juggle her without end!

(Okay, NOT playing this game!) Haruhi thought as she stopped in mid-air, causing Jaguar Warrior's next attack to whiff.

"Hey! Mew can't just fly like that!" the tiger-suited woman protested, leaping up to strike- only for Haruhi to vanish, Jaguar then getting nailed in the back and crashing to the ground! "Argh! No fair teleporting!"

"I wasn't aware there were any rules!" Haruhi taunted. "Survival of the fittest, right?"

"That doesn't mean mew can just defy the claws of physics!" Jaguar complained.

"Too bad! And for my next trick..." Haruhi teleported to the ground before hitting Jaguar Warrior with a telekinetic blast that shoved her far back!

"Ha! That didn't even scratch meow!" Jaguar said with a grin... only for said grin to vanish as Haruhi pointed down. "Huh...?" She looked down- and saw air beneath her feet! "Oh, cat litter..." Her body fell down, her neck stretching before her head followed, a high-pitched whistling sound reverberating through the jungle as she fell, ending with a 'KA-POW!' when she hit bottom!

Teleporting to the cliff's edge, Haruhi grinned as she looked down at Jaguar Warrior splayed flat on the ground! "Oh, what tragedy! How the mighty tiger hath fallen...!" She recited overdramatically.

"I'm a jaguar..." Jaguar Warrior groaned. "I'll get mew for this..."

*End Flashback*

"The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog!" Taiga snarled. "Kuku might've gotten the better of you, but now it's time for Jaguar's Revenge!" With that, she charged-

-only for Haruhi to nonchalantly flip her hand upward, resulting in Taiga being pulled up into the air and flipping backwards! "Nyaaawwt faaaiiirrr-!" (SPLASH!)

"Too easy," Haruhi chuckled.

"Yare yare, of course you would do that," Kyon sighed, as his hand met his face.

"-Pwah!" Taiga gasped as she resurfaced. "Mew and your cheating! Kuku, avenge me!"

"Why should I do that?" another female voice replied dispassionately. Haruhi and the group looked to the left, seeing a blonde woman with an elaborate headdress stretching in the sun. For Haruhi and Kyon, this servant was all too familiar to them.

"Oh come on, Quetzalcoatl! You don't wanna rematch with me?" Haruhi yelled, causing the woman to whip around in surprise.

"Senora Haruhi!" Quetzalcoatl gasped in joy. "Usted está aquí! ¡Realmente estás aquí~!" In an instant, the Mesopatamian goddess had tackled the brunette to the ground, laughing excitedly!

"Yep, she's as lively as ever," Kyon said, having instinctively backed off a little, as had Koizumi.

"Agreed," Yuki commented.

*Flashback*

Servant Haruhi was panting heavily, down on her hands and one knee, sweat pouring down her face as she looked up at her opponent...

"Well~, you lasted a lot longer than I expected!" Quetzalcoatl exclaimed, sporting a few bruises but still full of energy. "But it's clear you're on your last legs, yes! But as recognition of your tenacity, I will simply pin you to the ground for the three-count, so you lose rather painlessly, no?"

But then, a voice echoed from the skies above... "SKY-HIGH RIDER BUSTER JUSTICE BOMB!" Quetz and Haruhi looked up to see none other then Ritsuka himself falling from a height of two hundred meters!

"Oh, my! Is he doing what I think he's doing?!" Quetzalcoatl gasped in shock.

"You fool...!" Haruhi gasped. "You can't survive... at that height!" Closing her eyes, she used the last of her strength to teleport and swap places with the young Master, so now he was kneeling on the ground, while it was the bunny girl falling from the sky! "JUSTIIIIIICE!" She screamed, partially out of fear...

Fortunately, Quetz managed to meet her in mid-air, their chests colliding before the two slammed into the ground, causing a large dust cloud! When the dust cleared, Haruhi was lying atop Quetz in a small crater, both with relieved smiles on their faces...

"My... how brave, taking your Master's place like that!" Quetz said as she sat up, hugging Haruhi in a relaxed embrace. "If I hadn't caught you, you'd be going back to the throne by now! I can see why you're a Ruler-class, you know how to put yourself on the line for your companions! Ay yes, for impressing me so thoroughly, I shall leave the Three Goddesses Alliance and join you!"

"What?!" Ishtar gasped, in utter shock.

"I knew it..." Ritsuka said with a relieved grin.

*End Flashback*

"Ay, sorry for tackling you like that!" Quetz apologized as she got back to her feet, pulling Haruhi up with her. "I thought you got hurt in the final battle! It's nice to see you back in top form, yes?"

"Um, yeah, about that..." Haruhi muttered, she and the others explaining the situation...

"Oh... so that's what happened," Quetz said with a small frown. "Well, at least you're here to take her place now! So, did you come to see if you could take me in a lucha libre match? To try and succeed where your servant self failed?"

"Technically, I won that fight, you know," Haruhi pointed out with a sly smirk. "After all, I was on top of you for the three-count..."

"...Huh?!" the goddess gasped in disbelief. "But, you didn't have me pinned!"

"You didn't get up for three seconds, by the rules, that means I won," Haruhi argued.

"A... Ay caramba..." Quetz went weak in the knees. "I lost... on a technicality...?!" But then she suddenly shook herself to her senses, jumping back and taking a fighting stance! "No, I can't accept this! I think it's time we settled this account, yes?"

"You read my mind!" Haruhi grinned as she took a ready stance herself, Kyon and Koizumi swiftly retreating, Yuki following them at a more sedate pace.

The two combatants charged at each other...

*Medical Bay*

"Honestly, how could you two let your fight get out of hand like that?!" Florence Nightingale scolded the two goddesses, who were sporting several small bandages. "Had it not been for Miss Nagato, not only would the Medical Bay have been overwhelmed, but Fantasia Resort would have been closed down for weeks! As Da Vinci is busy with other matters, it falls to me to reprimand you! What were you two thinking?!"

"I made sure to direct my Xiuhcoatl finisher into the ocean..." Quetzalcoatl sighed.

"And caused a tidal wave in the process!" Nightingale cut her off.

"Man, I can't believe I lost like that..." Haruhi sighed in disappointment at herself, only to cry out as Florence slapped her in the face, the nurse then doing the same to Quetzalcoatl!

"It seems I'm not getting through to you two!" Nightingale stated. "If you wanted to fight, you should have taken it to the simulation room, which is specifically reinforced for Servant fights! Is that understood?!"

"Yes ma'am."

"Si si, senora."

"Good," Florence nodded curtly. "You two are dismissed. Try to avoid any further fights until you are fully healed!" The duo got up and slowly exited with their heads hung low in shame...

Outside, Koizumi, Yuki, Kyon and Taiga were waiting. "I heard what she said," Koizumi began. "For what it's worth, I agree with the nurse, though I wouldn't have been so harsh about it..."

"At least you avenged me, Kuku, so it all works out, right?" Jaguar Warrior spoke up.

"Says the one who was panicking from the resulting tidal wave," Kyon snarked. "Good thing we got outta there before crud hit the fan..."

"Yeah..." Haruhi sighed. "Thanks for fixing our mess, Yuki."

"It is fine," the interface said. "However, you should strongly consider Nightingale's advice for next time."

"Noted," Haruhi concurred. "Hey, by the way, where's Master- I mean, Ritsuka at? I haven't seen hide or hair of him since we arrived..."

"That is because he is currently on deployment to a pseudo-singularity," Yuki responded.

"What?!" Haruhi whirled on her friend. "Wait a minute, why wasn't I told about this?!"

"It is fine," Yuki assured her. "The situation is well in hand. I would have informed you had that not been the case."

"Does that mean he'll be back soon?" Kyon queried.

"It should not be too much longer," the interface confirmed.

"Okay then! Let's head to the Rayshift chamber and wait for his return!" Haruhi resolved, going off with the others following.

"You go on ahead!" Quetz waved after them. "I'm going to be busy practicing on a punching bag!"

"What punching bag, Kuku?" Jaguar Warrior asked.

"Why, the one right in front of me, of course!" the Mesopotamian goddess gave a grin full of pointy teeth, causing Taiga to start sweating profusely...

*To be continued...*