Fate/Kyon's Order: The Return
A Haruhi Suzumiya & Fate/Grand Order Crossover
by Derald Snyder
Part 7: Dinosaurs and Deductions
"How very odd," Sherlock Holmes pondered as he closely examined the coffins that had once held the Chaldean A-Team. "How very odd indeed..."
"Have you found something, Ruler?" one of the Clock Tower mages inquired.
"...Not a thing," Holmes stood straight. "But that in and of itself is telling... if someone had simply physically removed the corpses, there should have been some trace of blood or DNA left behind... but these coffins are as clean as a brand-new magnifying glass."
"Which means what?" the mage pressed.
"The corpses weren't removed by natural means," Holmes deduced. "Indeed, it's as if they were teleported or something to that effect. But no human mage would have that kind of power, especially if they were taken during the Incineration of Humanity... An entity capable of this would have to at least be on the level of a Divine Spirit, like the Lion King from the Camelot singularity..."
"But what would this Divine Spirit want with Master corpses?" another mage asked.
"That, I cannot fathom," Holmes lamented. "I'm afraid this is all that I can deduce. After all, just as you cannot mold bricks without clay, neither can I deduce a solution without clues. Well then, gentlemen, if you will excuse me, I must inform the acting director about this..." With that, the detective vanished into spirit form.
"...Whoever this Divine Spirit is, they must mean to plan against Chaldea somehow," the second mage mused. "Perhaps it would be too hasty to try and effect the shutdown of this facility after the remaining demon god pillars are dealt with..."
"Try convincing the Clock Tower of that," the first mage snapped. "Actually, never mind that, I will send a report to them myself. Perhaps they can send some combat-oriented mages to assist us..."
"McFremitz would be a good choice," another mage spoke up...
*Rayshift Chamber*
"Well, I don't really like that you've taken Tiamat's remnant as a souvenir," Da Vinci said, "but if you're confident the containment can't be broken, I'll keep my own council."
"Like I said to Gilgamesh, I'll keep a close eye on it," Haruhi nodded.
"You had better," the King of Heroes warned.
"I'm sure it will be fine," Enkidu spoke up. "By the way, don't be alarmed if I start manifesting some of Kingu's personality traits, as I have absorbed a fragment that remained after his sacrifice."
"I'll keep that in mind," Da Vinci nodded. "So what were you doing there, Nagato?"
"Obtaining material for Queen Semiramis' Noble Phantasm," the interface replied. "If you will excuse me, I must go and assist her with it's construction." Bowing briefly to the caster, Yuki swiftly made her exit. Not long after, Sherlock Holmes materialized.
"Ah, there you are, director," the detective greeted. "If you aren't busy, I'd like a word in private..."
"Certainly. In that case, let's go to my office," Da Vinci suggested. "Haruhi, you make sure that fragment is stored someplace secure, okay?"
"No worries," Haruhi smiled. "Come on, Saber. See you later, Dr. Bell," she said to Holmes as she left, causing the ruler to duck his head in mild chagrin. Gilgamesh couldn't help but snicker at the detective as he and Enkidu also took their leave.
*Salon de Marie*
"So things went well, I assume?" Koizumi asked as he, Haruhi, Kyon and Artesia sat at a table together. "Did Artesia follow orders?"
"Well, I trust she can handle herself in a fight," Haruhi shrugged. "We actually worked together pretty decently."
"I am surprised you deigned to use those black keys," the dark saber noted as she nibbled on a plain hamburger.
"Well, I got 'em, I might as well use them," Haruhi said matter-of-factly.
"Better than getting a bowl of spicy mapo tofu," Kyon stated. "I actually tried eating one of those, I was drinking water for hours afterward."
"You probably shouldn't eat things that show up from who-knows-where," Koizumi said in bemusement. "Of course, sometimes a cake is just a cake, but you can never be too sure, especially around here..."
"Please don't start philosophizing on me," Kyon groaned. "I only tried it after Da Vinci confirmed there wasn't anything poisonous in it..."
"It was still stupid of you," Artesia deadpanned. "You should have given it to my counterpart, she would have consumed it without much issue."
"Well then, next time one of those tofu bowls arrive, you can put your money where your mouth is," Haruhi taunted. "Pun intended."
"Challenge accepted. The King of Knights will not lose to a bowl of spicy food," Artesia asserted.
"In that case, we reserve the right to laugh at you without retribution if you fail," Kyon half-snarked.
"...So be it." Just then, Riyo Gudako dashed into the lounge with a panicked look on her face.
"Everyone run for your lives!" she screamed with flailing arms, "I've just summoned a T-Rex!"
"A T-Rex?!" Haruhi gasped.
"Yeah, right," Kyon sighed. "It's probably just a prank from Mephistopheles or someth-"
"GRRROOOOAAAARRR!" A horned Tyrannosaurus rex with a white cloak over it's body suddenly barged into the lounge, causing everyone to scream in terror!
"HOLY SHIT!" Kyon cried, he and Koizumi ducking under the table as the dinosaur began to wreak havoc!
"Oh wow... a real T-Rex!" Haruhi said in awe, only for Artesia to tackle her down, the T-Rex's tail swiping through the spot where she'd just been sitting!
"Pay attention, Master! That thing almost took your head off!" the blonde saber chastised.
"Sorry!" Haruhi grimaced. She watched as the human employees and several servants fled for their lives, the T-rex overturning tables, smashing plates and chairs, and generally making a mess.
"Non, non, non!" Queen Marie cried in dismay. "My beautiful lounge...! Sanson, do something!"
"Only if Fergus doesn't take care of it first," the executioner said, pointing to the where the muscular saber was confronting the horned dinosaur, Medb cowering behind him.
"Don't let it eat me, dear Fergus!" Medb squealed as she curled up behind her husband's legs.
"Back, you overgrown reptile! Or I'll give you a dental job you'll never forget!" Fergus declared, his Caladbolg spinning ominously. It seemed to do the trick, as the cloaked T-Rex stopped to stare curiously at the strange weapon...
"Gudako!" Haruhi called to her fellow Master, who was curled up nearby in terror. "If you summoned that thing, then you're it's Master! Use a command spell and bring it to heel!"
"A command spell...?" Gudako's eyes lit up as it suddenly clicked. "Oh yeah! I should've known that!" Leaping atop a table, she held out her right hand, calling, "Tyrannosaurus rex, by my command spell, stop this right now!"
"Grrrr..." the dinosaur seemed to deflate somewhat, backing away from Fergus and Medb... then there was a bright flash! When the light faded, in the dinosaur's place was a beautiful brunette wearing an off-white kimono with red highlights! "Oh dear me, I'm sorry. I'm afraid I got a little carried away there..."
Fergus' sword dropped to the ground, as did his jaw.
"Oh my," Koizumi spoke up, "it seems the beast has let her inner beauty shine through."
"Ha, ha. Funny, Koizumi," Kyon deadpanned.
"Wait, so this is your true form?!" Gudako said in disbelief as she marched up to the woman. "What the heck?! Why'd you have to scare me like that?!"
"I'm so sorry, Master, but when you screamed and ran away, I just thought I would play along a bit," the servant chuckled. "Allow me to introduce myself properly. I am Kōyō, Berserker-class, from Togakushi, Shinano. The oni of the lightning's blaze who paints the mountain paths in a bright crimson color. I am also known as Momiji, but you should only call me that if you are prepared to burn. Fair warning."
"An oni?! So the T-rex was your monstrous form, huh..." Gudako mused. "Well, okay. I'll forgive you this once, but don't ever pull a stunt like that again!"
"In the meantime," Haruhi cut in, "I think you should clean up this mess you made. I'll take care of un-breaking the plates and cups and stuff, but you gotta put it all away! That's your penalty, understand?"
"...So be it. So you are a Master as well," Koyo observed the command spells on her hand. "But no need to use a spell, I will do as you say."
"I'll bring out a cart to put the dishes on," Sanson said as he dismissed his weapon, and walked through the doors to the kitchen.
"Honestly, madam," Queen Marie sighed, "after I and everyone else put in so much effort to fix and renovate this lounge after the battle with that Beast... Please only wreak havoc on the battlefield from now on, oui?"
"As you wish, madam," Koyo curtsied, before starting to pick up plates off the carpet.
"In the meantime, Fergus, how about we return to our room?" Medb said suggestively. "You can flirt with that oni later..."
"Alrighty then," Fergus smiled, dismissing his sword and picking up Medb in a bridal carry, causing the queen to giggle as she was carried off...
*Da Vinci's Office*
"Gone without a trace?" Da Vinci said after Holmes told her of his investigation's findings. "But how?!"
"As I said to the Clock Tower mages, it would seem that a being at least on the level of a Divine Spirit must have teleported their corpses out of the coffins," the detective replied. "However, I did not tell them what the possible implications were. After all, if it was the magic crests they were after, they could have easily removed those and left the corpses where they were. Which means they intend to use the A-Team for something else... most likely their ability as Masters."
"You think whoever took them means to reanimate them to use against us," Da Vinci concluded.
"That is the most likely scenario, yes. And seeing as we only have three Masters at the moment, one of whom is somewhat mentally-impaired..."
"Not good. Not good at all," the caster bit her lip. "Daybit and Wodime are the ones we have to be especially wary of. Daybit managed to summon an extraordinarily powerful servant, and Wodime is a prodigy that Marisbury favored even over his own daughter. Not to speak ill of the dead, mind you..."
"Then I suggest that we come up with contingency plans in anticipation of the worst-case scenario," Holmes stated.
"I've already got something planned in case something were to happen to me," Da Vinci said. "But yes, we should come up with plans, just in case... do you think Miss Nagato could help us out?"
"I don't know how much we can trust that alien," Holmes pointed out. "She may well be serving two masters. We should limit how much we read her in, for safety's sake."
"She seems more loyal to John Smith and Suzumiya than anyone else," Da Vinci countered. "While I agree we can't let this get back to the Clock Tower, that doesn't mean we shouldn't inform some others that there may another threat out there besides the remaining demon pillars. El-Melloi II, I'm sure we can trust at least."
"I see... very well, then. I will let him know what I have found," Holmes agreed. "At least the numbers are in our favor as far as summoned servants, unless the Clock Tower forces us to shut down the system... Hmm. If you'll excuse me, director..." He then turned and left, leaving Da Vinci to ponder what the future might hold...
*To be continued...*
