Double star lines indicates change in POV.

Addison wasn't sure how she did it but she had managed to make herself sleep. The fact that she was sleeping at Meredith's house, at her soulmate's house kept her awake for much longer than she would've liked. Even when she had slept the notion of it in addition to memories of their past hadn't left her alone. Dream after dream were haunted by those baby blue eyes, by her smile, by her voice, by her.

By the brightness coming through her closed eyelids she knew it was morning already. She frowned, feeling heavy, she wanted to sleep. She had purposely not set an early alarm so that she could sleep in a little longer. So why was she awake? The giggles and the tiny fingers on her hip. Her hip!

Opening her eyes quickly made her slightly squint as the sunlight came through the windows. She found the source of the giggles immediately, little Ellis. The blonde girl looked at her with a wide grin, her small hand still resting on her hip. Giggling, she spoke and Addison felt her mouth dry up quickly.

"You are her."

"E-Ellis, hi."

"You have a red feather like Momma."

"I uh…"

"You're Momma's soulmate!"

"Shhhh." Addison said quickly and covered the girl's mouth. "Ellis, how about another ice cream party? And this time we make sure you're there the whole time. Plus we can play catch. Did you know I used to play softball?"

The little girl nodded excitingly and she saw some light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe.

"One condition though."

"What? I'll do it all Addie."

"You need to keep my mark a secret. Can you do that?"

"Why?"

"Because it's a game. How long can a superstar keep a secret?"

"That's a game?" The girl frowned, completely unconvinced.

"Yep. But it's an ultra secret game. Only a few people can play."

"Does everyone get ice cream parties?"

"Only if they win."

"Okay!"

"Okay."

"Addie! Come on! Pancakes!" She heard Amelia call from down the stairs.

"Momma's making pancakes!" Ellis said happily.

"Ellis," Addison said, taking her hand before she ran out. "Remember the game, ok?"

Ellis only smiled and drew an imaginary zipper with her fingers across her mouth. Addison smiled and did the same. As she watched the little girl scamper off she prayed to whatever higher power that existed that the little girl did in fact keep her secret. However, in the back of her head a little voice kept whispering that her secret would be out before too long.


Meredith was almost done with the second batch of pancakes, which were supposed to be her guest's favorites. She remembered when Mark had mentioned something about Addison and mini pancakes with cinnamon. For some reason it was the first thing she had ever actually wanted to learn how to make. It was easy, really, but with her amazing prowess in the kitchen it took her forever to figure it out, even with Mark's help when she'd had it. Now, after so long making them she was a master.

"Addie!" The choir of her kids' voices alerted her to the redhead's presence.

"Good morning, guys! Wait, Meredith?"

"Hmm?" She replied turning around to face the redhead who was frowning and making her way towards her.

"You're cooking."

"Yeah? Why do you seem so surprised?"

"Because I thought this was the one thing you… sucked at." The redhead whispered the last part when she got close enough.

"Hey…" She pouted and Addison giggled next to her.

"So pancakes."

"Minicinicakes."

"Those were Mark's."

"Yeah umm, is it ok? I know they were your favorite and I thought I'd make them for you but maybe it wasn't… maybe I shouldn't have… I…" She began to ramble apologetically until Addison flicked her forehead. "Hey…"

"So cinnamon before mixing or after mixing? Do you put it on the pancakes as they're being made or do you sprinkle them when they're out?" The redhead asked as if testing her while washing her hands.

"Before mixing and when making the pancakes, but not too much."

Addison dunked one of her fingers and brought it to her mouth. Meredith felt a jolt of electricity run through her as she witnessed the redhead savoring the batter. The way Addison's pink lips wrapped around her finger made her cheeks heat up.

"Not too much… just a hint. Good girl." Addison spoke the last words and she was pretty much gone. Tingling all over, with butterflies fluttering at the pit of her stomach. "Meredith? You're gonna burn those."

"Oh umm right."

"Here, I'll get a plate."

The redhead moved away, clearly oblivious to everything she had awoken in Meredith. Meredith herself was confused, this had never happened to her before. Well, only once but… yes it was with Addison, but still never like that. Never to the point she felt her heart just about beating out of her. The redhead's voice and her giggling kids along with Amelia woke her from her trance.

"Ready? I have a plate. Thanks guys."

"Addie, you're gonna love the minicinicakes." Bailey cheered.

"I know I will."

"They are the best thing Mer knows how to make." Amelia joked and the redhead scolded her.

"Ames be quiet. I'm sure Meredith can cook plenty of other awesome things. Right, Grey?"

"Huh? Yeah. Mhmm."

"Are you ok?"

"Yup."

"Can I have some?" Addison asked with a bright smile, just like the one she'd had the day before when Meredith got the tingles all over.

"Yup."

Stop shaking. What the hell is wrong with you?

She managed to serve the redhead her pancakes without dropping them. However, once Addison's smile brightened even more, making her eyes glimmer in the light she dropped the spatula.

"Got it." Addison quickly grabbed the utensil before it fell coming closer to her. "Be careful. Thanks for the pancakes."

Don't smile anymore, Addie. Please.

"Addie, come eat." Ellis chirped.

"Yeah!" Bailey joined in.

"Coming guys. Here. Thanks." The redhead said with a wink and a smile, handing her the spatula.

Fuck. Don't.


Meredith and Amelia had landed in Minnesota six hours after the whole breakfast affair. She had been happy to confirm that the cinnamon pancakes were indeed Addison's favorite. Also for some unknown reason the fact that the redhead would be staying a few more days in Seattle made her happy as well.

Naturally, it had taken a bit of convincing from her, Amelia, and the three kids to get the neonatal surgeon to stay at the house. They had made quite the scene both her and Amelia begging while Zola held Addison's hands and Bailey along with Ellis had attached themselves to the redhead's legs. Her kids did amazing with the lost puppy eyes, she knew as soon as they pulled the big guns Addison would be done for.

It had comforted her, knowing Addison would stay there even if she wasn't there. What had her a little down was the fact that by the time she'd return the redhead would be gone. But then who knew, puppy eyes worked miracles and if she asked the kids coming back to Addison wouldn't be so far off.

Meredith had always questioned why the pull. She had always had it when it came to Addison. There were times when she knew things weren't alright with the redhead. Whenever she was down or whenever she was extremely happy Meredith could tell. It was weird but she chucked it to some unknown cosmic pull.

Now that she thought about it. Like really thought about it. Why did she feel that pull? Why the want? Why the need? Why was she able to tell what the redhead felt? And why the hell had she felt like a teenager all over again now that Addison had stayed over? It was as if… but that couldn't be. Could it?

"Mer!"

"Why are you yelling, Amelia? I'm right next to you."

"And so is hottie." Amelia muttered, throwing a glance somewhere next to her.

"It seemed you were in deep thought."

"Nick?! Hi."

"Hi."

"I'll leave you two. I'm going to the lab." Amelia announced leaving them alone.

"How was your flight?"

"Good. Uneventful thankfully. You on your way out?"

"Yeah. I need the bed. Wanna come with?"

"I'm not sleeping with you. I told you." Meredith laughed a bit, the image of Addison popping into her head out of nowhere.

"A man can dream."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. You go do whatever secret mission you have."

"Right. You have a good night."

"By the way. Dinner?"

"I uh…"

"Come on." Nick pleaded with his charming smile.

A smile that compared to a certain redhead did nothing to the butterflies in her belly. Wait, Meredith stop that. Why the hell are you comparing them?

"Sure. Dinner would be nice. I do have to eat."

"Ok. Pick you up at the hotel at seven?"

"Seven." She smiled and he kissed her cheek.

For a moment she wished it had been Addison the one doing it. Those pink soft looking lips would probably feel much better on her cheek as opposed to Nick's rough ones accompanied with his stubble.

Really Meredith? STOP!

"See ya." He grinned.

"Mhmm."


Being here was like being home. It was weird. Though of course the name of the hospital had changed and many of her people were no longer here, this place, this hospital, was home. She sat outside the ORs on one of the benches resting her feet after an almost full day of surgery. Miranda had skillfully roped her into working a few cases since she was here and her patient was being closely monitored. Frankly, even if Miranda hadn't asked she would have finagled her way into an OR.

With her gaze fixed on some dot on the wall she allowed her mind to take her on a trip through the morning events. Waking up to Ellis and fearing the worst to going down and finding Meredith cooking, cooking , completely melting away her fears. It had been a great breakfast and the company had been even better. She had also dared enough to be a bit flirtatious for no better reason than to test the waters. She wondered if Meredith had ever felt that special kind of connection. Also she wasn't sure if the flush and jittery mess the blonde had become was because she liked her that way or because she was embarrassed.

If it was embarrassment. If she had made Meredith uncomfortable with her actions… she couldn't be here. She didn't want to be here. Just why? Why had she found out? Why did the shirt ride up? Why did she have her mark? Why were there even marks when they could cause this much pain? This much uncertainty. This was all unbearable and she wanted to leave. She could just go. She could just run. Running was much easier than staying here. Even when this was home.

Addison shook her head and let out a groan, blinking away the tears that had begun to well up. This was stupid. First, she shouldn't have stayed over. Second, she shouldn't have flirted, not even slightly. And third, she shouldn't have agreed to stay in that house. But then who could say no to those faces? And how the hell had those three children mirrored their mother's expressions so well? She had purposely looked away from Meredith with her pleading eyes only to find Zola, Bailey, and Ellis looking at her the same way. She was so weak and so screwed.

Deciding to give up on thinking for another while she headed towards the elevator to go check on Tovah again. She had been over to her room plenty of times but it wouldn't hurt to check her numbers again. The uterine transplant was amazing and all and she couldn't wait for the trial and all her work to take real flight but her patient was more important so she'd check on her as much as she could. Besides, Tovah deserved to be looked after.

The elevator ride hadn't been long and soon she was making her way towards the ICU, where her patient was under continuous observation. She passed by a small lounge when she heard her name being mentioned, which made her stop and pay attention to the conversation. It seemed as though the residents were having some sort of argument.

"Stop saying that." Schmitt had said. Addison liked him, he seemed competent enough among the rest.

"I am only stating facts. Dr. Grey is a million times better than Dr. Montgomery." She knew that voice, it belonged to the blonde resident, who was all 'team Grey' the day before.

"Helm, you can't compare them." Schmidt replied. "I mean, yes. Dr. Grey has a Catherine Fox award and she is a brilliant surgeon and teacher. But even she learned from Dr. Montgomery and in her field Addison Montgomery is one of the best if not the best. Like, come on, they're both amazing in their own right."

"Levi is right. You can't compare them." Another resident spoke, Perez, if she recalled correctly.

"You can say what you want. In my eyes Meredith Grey is better than that woman." Addison could practically hear the girl's eye roll.

"No need to be so disrespectful." Perez said.

"Listen, you can't blame me. I'll always defend Meredith Grey."

"Here we go again." Schmitt groaned.

"We're practically destined for each other. Even though she doesn't know it." Helm continued and the statement made Addison frown.

"You aren't her soulmate, you idiot."

Soulmate? Of course she isn't. I am.

"I'm close enough. I have a bird like Dr. Shepherd did and she has that beautiful feather in her lower back, which on it's own is a work of art."

Addison felt her blood boil at the girl's tone when she spoke of Meredith's mark. The sound of her beating heart drowned almost every other sound as she walked into the room. All three residents looked at her and went pale almost immediately.

"D-doctor Mont-gomery." Schmitt stuttered out.

"Is this what you are paid to do? Sit and lounge? Talking about things you have no business in talking about?"

"N-no we umm…"

"What?" She bit out her eyes on the young man before they drifted to the girl. "Speak!"

"I-I… we umm we… it's our break and we…"

"I don't care." She snapped at the stuttering blonde. "Go find something more productive to do with yourself than staring at other people. Whether Dr. Grey has a mark on her lower back or not is none of your damn business. And that moronic idea you have of being destined to be together…" She let out a sarcastic laugh. "I mean come on. You? You are to be her soulmate? Don't make me laugh."

"I…"

"Enough! Go do your jobs and stop lazing about. This isn't what you're here for. You're here to learn. Not to be gossiping like old ladies at the porch. So move!"

The three residents cleared the room quickly and she ignored the hurt look on the girl when she breezed past. She should feel bad but she didn't. She was annoyed, beyond annoyed, she was angry and frustrated. Her soulmate. Meredith was her soulmate. Hers!

"Wow." Startled, she turned to the door to find Richard with a wide grin.

"Richard."

"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you." He smiled apologetically.

"It's all good. Sorry about that."

"It's fine. Glad to see that The Ruler of All That is Evil still has it down. They're so scared of you now."

Addison couldn't deny she was slightly freaking about Richard having heard her little, well big, outburst. She wondered when he'd start to question her.

"Honestly, I agree with you. They're too lazy. It's what I've been saying and I'm glad you agree."

"Right."

"You ok Addie?"

"Me? Yeah. Mhmm."

"You sure?"

"Definitely. So umm how long were you there for?" She forced a chuckle.

"I was just passing by when you told them to get to work." He laughed and she joined in relief. "Their faces were priceless."

"They totally were. Anyway, I'm gonna go check on Tovah and..."

"Why don't you sit with me for a little while?"

"Well I…"

"Come on, Addie. Let's talk." Richard pressed sitting on one of the couches in the lounge. "I've missed you." He added and she couldn't help but smile and walk over to him.

"I've missed you too."

"So? You have a son now. How is he?"

"He's good. He's an amazing kid."

"You'll have to bring him next time. I'd like to meet him."

"Next time. I promise." She said with a grin while he nodded.

"Are you ok Addie?"

"What do you mean? Of course."

"Addie, you've been so stiff today. Compared to yesterday when it was actually the day to worry. You're smiling and half the time the smile isn't genuine."

"I'm not sure…" She began to rebuke his statement but he continued.

"Addison, I've practically known you forever. I watched you grow as an adult. You're not ok."

"I'm fine, Richard."

"Fine… my daughters tend to use that word as a blanket to cover everything."

"Daughters?" A tiny smile tugged at her lips and he smiled back.

"Maggie, Meredith, and you." He replied and she hummed with a bigger smile but averting his eyes. "What's wrong Addie? Talk to me."

"I… I found my soulmate." She smiled at him.

"Addie. That's amazing news. Why aren't you happy?"

"Simple, really. I highly doubt we can be together."

Tears welled in her eyes and quickly flowed down her cheeks. She had thought all the crying from the day before would have been enough but when Richard pulled her into a hug the floodgates really opened. Richard rubbed her back as she cried onto his shoulder. She supposed she had needed this. Needed someone to talk to about this. Who better than the only man, who had always acted like a father towards her?

"Addison, there must be a way."

"No, there isn't."

"You can't know that for sure until you try."

"Of course I can. It's me. It's how my life goes. I should be happy, though. I have a brilliant career. A comfortable life. An amazing son, who loves me. That should fill me. It should be enough. It should…" A whimper escaped her and Richard pulled her in once more.

"I refuse to believe you can't be happy with your soulmate. You can never have too much happiness or too much love."

"I have a family and so does she."

"She?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Is she married? Is she with someone else?"

"I don't know. All I know is she can't be mine and I need to get used to the idea that while I do have her, while I have found her we won't be together."

"Addison, it really sounds like you're just trying to convince yourself. You don't know for sure."

"I know."

"No. You don't. You sound exactly like me and Catherine. We struggled at the beginning. Oh did we struggle. But look at us now. She's my soulmate. Mine. It took us a while to figure things out. To work through our issues but I wouldn't trade what I have now for anything else."

"It's not the same thing! You don't know. You couldn't possibly understand what is happening! Why me having her as a soulmate is the most complicated and painful thing imaginable." She stood abruptly and began to pace the room while Richard looked at her.

"Then explain it. Maybe I can help. Tell me Addison." He offered. "Let me help you. Please."

"No."

"Addie, you deserve to be happy."

"I am."

"If you were, you wouldn't be acting this way. You wouldn't be crying or pacing or in pain." He stood while he spoke and took her face in his hands, brushing away her tears. "Let me help you. She's your soulmate and I think you already love her."

"I-I think… I did before I even knew."

"Who is it? Do I know her?"

"Richard." She shook her head.

"Maybe if I knew I could tell you what to do. Scope her out for you. Figure out if she's open to a relationship. I don't know but I could do something."

"No."

"Addie…"

"No. I won't tell you. Stop asking because I won't."

Richard seemed ready to speak again when her cellphone rang.

"Addison."

"I have to take this." She said, pulling out her phone and he released a sigh.

"This isn't the end of it. I love you, you know?" He said while planting a kiss on her forehead which made her bottom lip quiver.

Addison wiped her face once more and took a few deep breaths before answering the phone. Amelia's name flashed on her screen insistently and she took the call.

"Hello?"

"Addie! Thank god."

"What's wrong Amelia?"

"So you know how I was supposed to get there tonight?"

"Yes."

"Well my plane got delayed and Link has to work and Scout is in the hospital but link said Jo would take him though I think you could but then Mer's kids."

"What about my kids?" Meredith's voice rang in the background. "Give me that you're rambling."

"You ramble too." Amelia replied to the blonde.

"Give me the phone. Give."

She heard a struggle in the background and a small smile etched itself onto her face. Were they really fighting over the phone?

"Hello?" Meredith's light voice came through clearer.

"Hi."

"So Amelia's flight got delayed. She was supposed to pick up my kids since I have a meeting here in the morning. So we were wondering, since you're already going to be home, but only if you could like… I could still get a nanny. We can get a nanny Amelia."

"Now you're the one rambling." Amelia's annoyed voice came through.

"I can stay with the kids and pick them up from school. It's no problem."

"Really?" Meredith squeaked. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure Meredith. I'll get them. Just send me the address to the school so I don't get lost. Also I can take Scout."

"But then you'd have four kids. Won't that be too much?"

"It'll be fine."

"Are you ok?"

The question took her by surprise. She had thought she sounded chirpy enough through the phone. They couldn't see her face. Meredith couldn't see her face so how…

"Addison? Addie?"

"I'm fine, just tired. Did so many surgeries today."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Really, really?"

"Yes."

"Ok. Thanks for doing this."

"It's not a problem. Send me the address. I'm going to check on my patient and then I'll head over to the grocery store and to pick up the kids."

"Ok." Meredith said and she could hear the smile in her voice. "Amelia will be there in the morning."

"Sounds good." But I wish it was you.