Fate/Kyon's Order: The Return

A Haruhi Suzumiya & Fate/Grand Order Crossover

by Derald Snyder

Part 12: Garden of Sinners

Sweat poured down Artesia's face as she panted heavily, her face red and her throat burning. But she would not admit defeat to this adversary, never! Taking her weapon in hand, she once again struck at the enemy, which promptly retaliated with another fireball down her throat into her stomach...

"Wow, you're over half finished with that mapo tofu already," Kyon observed. "I'm impressed... you really are the King of Knights."

"Of course I am," the saber breathed out, lowering her spoon. "No spicy food will triumph over me..."

"You're certainly a brave one," Asagami Fujino spoke up, sitting next to Haruhi across from the other two. "I don't think I would have lasted three bites..."

"I only managed four before I was running for the faucet," Kyon shrugged.

"Well, that's what you get for being a weak human!" a female voice spoke up, it's owner soon revealed to be Jeanne D'Arc Alter, dressed in her Shinjuku attire. "What's with that face, ice bitch queen? Lose a bet or something?"

"I am trying to NOT lose a bet," Artesia gasped, before taking another painful bite.

"You don't say? C'mon, is this stuff really that bad?" She stuck her finger into the bowl, pulling out a tiny amount of tofu and sticking it in her mouth. "...EEEYAAAAGHH! HOT, HOOOOOOOT!" She promptly dashed off to the soda dispenser. "Water, wateeeeeerrrrr!"

"Serves you right," Artesia deadpanned.

"And so Joan humiliates herself yet again," Kyon snarked.

"I HEARD THAT, HUMAN!" *glug, glug, glug*

"That was mildly amusing," Asagami smiled. "Who was that, anyway?"

"A twisted Jeanne D'Arc born from an errant Grail wish," Haruhi explained. "She acts all evil and stuff, but she's like one of those pathetic C-list villains at best... Doesn't mean she isn't useful in combat, though."

"...I see," Fujino nodded. "I might have been considered a villain of sorts myself, in my early life..."

"What, did you twist people into gory messes with your powers?" Kyon asked.

"Well... yes I did, but... I really didn't know any better back then," the esper admitted, bowing her head. "It wasn't until I had a near-death experience myself that I stopped..."

"Oh, geez..." Haruhi grimaced. "So you were a serial killer of sorts?"

"She was," a low voice spoke up, a woman with short dark hair wearing a red jacket over a blue kimono walked up to the group. "It fell to me to stop her at any cost..."

Fujino gasped in horror at seeing a familiar face. "R... Ryougi Shiki?!" She abruptly clutched her side in pain, the table and bowl of mapo tofu starting to vibrate onimously... "G... get away!" A distortion shot from her eyes, Shiki quickly sidestepping, the soda machine denting and warping, streams of liquid spurting out! "Twist... TWIST!" Now tables were starting to fold in on themselves, Fujino's eyes flashing gold, the other people in the area quickly fleeing in terror as more furniture started bending and warping!

"Whoa! Calm down, Asagami-san!" Kyon cried to no avail, as their own table wrenched apart, the bowl of tofu shattering and spraying shards everywhere! "OW, my arm!"

"Die... die, Ryougi!" Fujino screamed as the very floor began to raise up and split apart, Shiki quickly scrambling out of harm's way!

"Asagami, stop!" Haruhi grabbed the esper around the waist, trying to pull her away. "By my command spell, stop twisting!" The distortions promptly ceased, Asagami going limp in her Master's arms, her eyes returning to their normal red shade.

"Yare yare, wasn't expecting that reaction," Shiki sighed, checking herself over. "Well, at least I didn't get twisted this time."

"Do you mind explaining things here?" Haruhi glared at the assassin.

"Not much to explain. We fought, she twisted my arm, I killed her appendicitis," Shiki shrugged nonchalantly.

"...Excuse me, how do you 'kill' a ruptured appendix?" Artesia asked as she tried to wipe mapo tofu off her skirt.

"Mystic Eyes of Death Perception," Kyon answered in Shiki's stead. "I've seen Ryougi-san in action before, apparently her eyes can see death lines that she cuts with her knife and kills her target. She's even killed dragons with that technique..."

"Ah... that's right... I remember now..." Asagami sighed. "I'm sorry... my old memories came back to me, and..."

"Don't worry about it," Shiki shrugged. "I was just doing my job."

"Yeah, well, what about the cafeteria?!" Kyon pointed to the mess that the archer had made with her powers.

"Yeah, I got soda all over my outfit, you bitch!" Joan yelled. "If Master hadn't stopped you, I would've burned you to ashes myself!"

"...are you sure your outfit's stained with soda?" Haruhi asked with her eyes closed.

"Of course it is! See, right here... huh?!" Joan looked over herself, seeing no signs of soda anywhere on her clothes. "The hell?! I know I got sprayed...!"

"Wait, the cafeteria's back to normal?" Shiki said, seeing the furniture all restored to pristine condition. "How...?!"

"Good, it worked," Haruhi grunted as she opened her eyes again. "Let's just say I have extraordinary powers and leave it at that, okay?"

"I wish you would have waited for Nagato-san..." Kyon sighed. "We're supposed to be downplaying your powers, remember?!"

"Well, as Asagami's Master, I have to take responsibility for her actions!" Haruhi retorted. "And that means fixing the damage she caused!"

"...listen, if it's any consolation, Asagami-san was far from the worst piece of scum that I had to take down," Shiki spoke again. "The fact that I saved her life instead of killing her should tell you as much."

"Well, please spare us the details, then," Kyon sighed.

"...So, since I wasn't able to finish the mapo tofu, does that mean I lose the bet?" Artesia spoke up.

"Nah, it wasn't your fault," Haruhi shook her head. "Let's just call it a wash, okay?" Just then several Peacekeepers appeared on the scene. "Whoa, whoa, easy! Everything's okay, see?"

"Then how come everyone was runnin' outta here screaming?!" Cu Chulainn demanded.

"Sorry... my powers went out of control... I'll try not to let it happen again..." Fujino lamented, before falling to her knees as her appendicitis flared up again. "Ah, it hurts..."

"Okay, how about we go to my room for now?" Haruhi suggested, picking her back up. "Kyon, help me carry her!"

"Right, right," Kyon nodded as he went to the esper's other side, the two supporting her as they slowly walked out of the cafeteria together, Shiki and Artesia following at a distance...

*Haruhi and Kyon's Room*

"So you were raped as a child?!" Haruhi gasped in shock.

"Yes... every day... but I felt no pain back then..." Asagami explained. "But, one day, one of the muggers hit me in the spine, and awakened my sense of pain... and my powers unlocked as well. I twisted them... twisted them all... but one got away..."

"That's what set off her killing spree," Shiki confirmed. "She just, (ahem) twisted anyone that got in the way of her pursuit..."

"So, you had a Freudian excuse of sorts," Kyon concluded. "No wonder Ryougi-san spared you in the end..."

"Yes... I am grateful for that..." Asagami nodded. "But... I'm surprised I became a Heroic Spirit..."

"I'm not," Shiki deadpanned. "You wrecked an entire highway suspension bridge to try and get me... a feat like that would definitely record you to the Throne of Heroes."

"You brought down a bridge?!" Haruhi gasped. "Holy shit... and I was excited about you being an esper! I didn't realize how powerful you really were...!"

"I-it's not something I like to brag about..." Asagami sighed. "I never told anyone at school that I didn't feel pain, because I didn't want to seem different from them..." She heaved another sigh. "I admit can be quite vindictive sometimes... you really shouldn't use my power anymore than you have to, like Artesia said."

"Well, you won't have to worry about Shiki coming after you if you lose control again," Haruhi promised. "I'm more than powerful enough to stop you myself, command spell or not. So don't fear Miss Mystic Death Eyes here anymore, okay?"

"Well, if you're confident you can restrain her, Master," Shiki acquiesced. "Just be careful... she acquired clairvoyance later on, which means she doesn't even have to be looking at an object to twist it."

"I'll keep that in mind," Haruhi nodded. "Actually might be useful for guarding against ambushes... I may be powerful, but if I get caught off-guard I'm as frail as any other human."

"I'll gladly twist anyone that tries to murder you, Master," Asagami said with a slightly unnerving smile.

"Well, try to refrain from killing them outright if you can," Kyon advised. "Just, twist their arms or legs, or something."

"In the meantime, let's see if Yuki can make it so that your appendicitis only flares up during deployments, when we'll need your full power," Haruhi suggested. "Hopefully that'll stop any more incidents like the cafeteria..."

"I would appreciate that, Suzumiya-san," Fujino nodded gratefully.

*Speaking of Yuki...*

"The Seraphix oil rig has vanished?" Nagato said.

"Yes, and we only received a distorted SOS message," Da Vinci nodded grimly. "I was hoping we could use your talents to try and locate it, or find out what happened... an entire oil rig just doesn't disappear like that."

"...Understood." Yuki promptly walked up to the console, looking up at Chaldeas as she typed away at the keyboard, the representation of Earth rotating this way and that, until abruptly stopping. "...I have located the oil rig in question. It is currently sinking into the Mariana Trench for some reason."

"The Mariana Trench?! What is it doing there?" Mash asked in confusion.

"Can you try to hail it?" Da Vinci requested.

"Actually, someone is already trying to hail us," the interface answered. "However, their method is attempting to hack our communications, which is being blocked by the safeguards I put in place."

"Can't you disable the safeguards so we can talk to them?" Mash asked next.

"I can," Yuki nodded. "Stand by..."

*To be continued...*