Fate/Kyon's Order: The Return
A Haruhi Suzumiya & Fate/Grand Order Crossover
by Derald Snyder
Part 16: More Alter Egos
"So that was Vlad the Impaler before he became Dracula, huh?" Haruhi mused as she and the rest of the party entered the church with a newly-recruited Tristan in tow. "Nice job double-teaming him, Gawain, Artesia."
"He was strong, but no match for our blades combined!" Gawain exclaimed.
"Shirou! Are you in here?" Artesia called.
"Yeah, come out so I can punch your sorry face, Emiya!" Meltryllis taunted.
"...About time you got here," a deep voice responded, a man walking towards them, his identity masked by the dim lighting of the church interior. "I've been watching you from the roof. You were lucky to survive even a brief engagement with that Alter Ego..." As he approached them, certain features became visible... dark skin, white hair shaved to a buzz cut, wearing dark pants but no shirt, and carrying two guns with blades at the end.
"Emiya Alter?!" Ritsuka recognized the servant.
"What the hell?!" Meltryllis cried angrily. "No fair! I lost my chance to take that Don Juan wannabe down a few pegs! This is so frustrating!"
"Sorry to disappoint you," Emiya Alter gave an uncaring shrug. "Hello again, Master. And you as well, Artoria Alter."
"You know each other?" Haruhi asked her fellow Master.
"We met in Shinjuku," Ritsuka nodded. "He was part of the villain group initially, but he turned out to be an agent of the Counter Force all along."
"My word..." Artesia put a hand up to her mouth in shock. "What happened to you, Shirou?!"
"Shirou...? I don't know that name. I'm just Emiya the mercenary," Emiya Alter replied. "By the look on your face, you're clearly not the Artoria I met in Shinjuku. Too bad, we seemed to work well together at the end of the singularity..."
"Well, things must be serious if the Counter Force is involved," Haruhi mused. "That Vlad mentioned a Demon Lord had taken over his body. You think he meant a Demon God Pillar?"
"It's a possibility. After all, one those pillars was responsible for Shinjuku in the first place," Emiya Alter said. "By the way, I have information for you. That Alter Ego will be impossible to beat unless you find the 'key to her heart'. And I'm pretty sure it's an actual item."
"You mean like a card key for a hotel door," Haruhi said. "I wonder if we'll have to slide it into that enormous chest of hers..."
"I'm more worried about her giant claws," Artesia pointed out. "Even if we find the key, it will be tough to get close enough..."
"Leave that to me, my l- Artesia," Gawain caught himself again. "I believe I could divert her attention enough for the Masters to make their move."
"I won't allow you to sacrifice yourself, Sir Gawain," Artesia said sternly. "But enough about that for now. First, the Masters need to rest. I'm sure Fujimaru is near his limit after so many battles..."
"Rest sounds good," Ritsuka nodded, yawning.
"There are private rooms on the second floor," Emiya Alter supplied.
"B-but what about that Alter Ego?!" Mable spoke up. "I-is she sleeping with us, too?!"
"I can rest outside. It's not like I have to worry about disappearing into data," Meltryllis shrugged indifferently.
"Yes, that would likely be for the best," Tristan agreed. "...Master Ritsuka? What is it?"
"Oh, I just noticed something here," Ritsuka said as he walked toward the altar by the back wall. "Looks like something was broken here..."
"Probably just a vase or abstract art or something," Meltryllis shrugged. "Pay it no mind."
"Wait a minute..." Haruhi said as she walked over to get a closer look. "These... these kinda look like your leg-blades, don't they?"
"...!" Meltryllis suddenly tensed.
"Ah, I see now," Tristan smiled knowingly. "You broke your legs on something in here and had to get them replaced, did you not?"
"...Ugh. Okay, yeah, you got me," Melt said quickly. "I got a little too swing-happy and broke my legs, so BB had to repair me. And she snarked and insulted me the entire time she did so! I think she deliberately dragged out the process to make me suffer! I mean, is it any wonder I decided to turn on her?!"
"That makes sense," Haruhi nodded. "Aaaanyway, let's get some sleep for about six hours, and then we'll plan our next move. Sound good?" There was a general murmur of agreement.
"One more thing," Emiya Alter spoke up again. "That altar seems to contain a recording of some sort, but it also needs a key. It might help us figure out what exactly occurred here..."
"Then we shall begin our search for the key after the Masters have rested," Gawain asserted. "Rest assured madam, none shall bring harm upon you so long as we stand guard!"
"You're a wonderful man, Sir Gawain!" Mable sighed, before regaining her senses and following the Masters upstairs...
But as she went outside, Meltryllis couldn't help but smile to herself. "I'm glad you noticed her, Master..."
*Six hours later...*
"Good morning. Did you sleep well, Master?" Artesia inquired as Haruhi emerged from upstairs, Ritsuka not far behind.
"(yawn) About as well as I could without Kyon there to snuggle up with," Haruhi grunted.
"Kyon?" Mable asked as she also came down the stairs.
"My fiancee. He's one of the staff at Chaldea proper," Haruhi explained.
"Oh! ...how wonderful that you have such a good man to lean on," Mable smiled.
"Right, so now we have to find the keys," Ritsuka said. "Unless... BB Kitchen, execute." A holo-screen popped up, showing a list of items for sale with BB's image imposed on the left side. "...I knew it. The altar key's for sale right here."
"She's selling it?!" Haruhi shoved Ritsuka aside to look herself. "Ugh, we need that much Sakura Money?!"
"It can't be helped. We'll have to defeat attack programs and enemy servants until we have enough," Tristan sighed. "But how sad it is, to have to slay fellow servants for money..." He strummed a sad note on his harp/bow.
"And yet, we have no choice but to play her game," Artesia shook her head in resignation.
"I could've told you that!" Meltryllis' voice echoed from outside.
"Well, let's go then," Haruhi sighed.
"Tristan, you remain here and keep an eye on Miss Macintosh," Artesia ordered.
"As you wish, my liege."
*A fair bit of grinding later...*
"Thank you for your business!" BB's voice sounded, the holo-screen winking out as the key materialized in Ritsuka's hand.
"This had better be worth the price we paid for it," Haruhi grumbled with arms crossed.
"Only one way to find out," Ritsuka said as he inserted the key into the altar. "What's this?"
"Something wrong?" Haruhi asked.
"Only one of us can listen to the recording, and it'll delete itself afterward," the young man relayed.
"N-not me!" Mable cried. "I-I'm getting a sudden stomachache, here...!"
Haruhi bit her lip. Normally she would have volunteered, but the fact that no espers, Koizumi or otherwise, were available to deal with any closed space... "Ritsuka, you should listen to the recording. Just tell us the gist once you're done."
"Alright... Proceed," Ritsuka spoke to the altar, which promptly beamed a laser at his forehead, his face going blank as the information was relayed. A few seconds later, he came back to himself, his face looking haunted. "The... the therapist..."
"Therapist? The one who was in charge of the church, then," Artesia deduced. "What happened to him?"
"Her," Ritsuka corrected, before describing what he'd heard...
"So the survivors basically reverted to tribal warfare amongst themselves," Emiya Alter summarized. "And the therapist herself was influenced by the Demon God Pillar..."
"She said something about the planetarium," Ritsuka added. "Apparently something really bad was going on down there..."
"So if we find this planetarium, we'll solve the mystery of Seraphix," Gawain stated. "Of course, we have no idea where to find it, but..."
"There are some areas we haven't explored yet," Artesia finished. "Of course, some require gate keys..."
"Guess we gotta start grinding for more Sakura Money then," Haruhi sighed. "Just what is BB's endgame, though? Why is she putting us through this crap? It can't be just for a Grail War battle royale..."
"It's sad, but we really have no choice but to play along for the moment," Tristan lamented.
"You can say that again," Meltryllis concurred.
"And I'll go see about killing some of those insane servants," Emiya Alter said.
*A short time later...*
After acquiring the money necessary, Haruhi and Ritsuka had split up to cover more ground, Haruhi and Artesia heading west while Ritsuka went east, Emiya Alter having yet to return. And so it was, after using the gate key to unlock the area, Haruhi and her servant came upon a most interesting sight...
"I still don't see what the point of all this is," a small girl dressed in green clothes that seemed a few sizes too large for her complained.
"Knowing Mother, it's purely for her own entertainment," a spectacled adult woman responded, dressed in a black long-sleeved business jacket and white pants. Both girls had the same shade of purple hair as BB herself, identifying them both as Alter Egos. They appeared to be working on several digital copies of Robin Hood... "But if we don't want to end up like Melt or Protea, we should keep our mouths shut..."
"Meh, I liked it better when I was running the show," the smaller girl groaned.
"We all know how that turned out, don't we, Drop?" the woman snarked. "I wonder when that interface is going to show up..."
(Interface?) Haruhi thought. (Could they mean... nah, they have to be talking about something else...)
"Excalibur..." The two whipped around at hearing Artesia's voice. "MORGAN!" -then quickly jumped out of the line of fire as the dark energy wave swallowed the Robin Hood copies, destroying them utterly!
"Hey, what are you doing here?! You're not supposed to be here!" the younger girl, Drop, yelled in surprise.
The brunette responded, "I'm Haruhi, and this is my servant Artesia! We'll be your opponents today!"
"...So be it. Know that you face the Alter Egos Violet and Kazuradrop," the taller woman proclaimed. "I hope you're ready to die like the others."
"Not today, and not by you," Artesia shot back.
"We shall see."
(Music- 'spinal sg coaster')
Violet's arms suddenly transformed into whips, lashing out at the saber, who swiftly dodged and backflipped! Kazuradrop also transformed her arms, her whips stretching out to catch Haruhi, one wrapping about the brunette's arm! However, Haruhi took advantage of this, letting herself be pulled in, using the momentum to power a knee strike to the Alter Ego's chin! She then lifted the small girl up and whirled around, tossing her a fair distance away!
"Drop, you idiot! Don't underestimate Masters because they're only human!" Violet chastised as she ducked a diagonal cut from Artesia, only to get blasted away by dark energy from the saber's free hand!
"Not like you're doing much better, Vio!" Kazuradrop shot back as she righted herself, ducking a kick from Haruhi then tackling her other leg to take her down! But the brunette recovered and grabbed her opponent, tossing her behind herself with a leg thrust! The two combatants then righted themselves, charging at each other again-
(-record screech!) "TIME OUT!"
Trapdoors suddenly opened up, Violet and Kazuradrop both screaming as they dropped out of sight! A holo-screen then materialized nearby, showing you-know-who again. "Sorry about that, but those two aren't supposed to be fighting, especially Drop. Still, what a naughty Master you are, trespassing into a restricted area and ruining my Matcha Robot plan!"
"Gee, sorry for sequence breaking! But this Master doesn't play by the rules!" Haruhi taunted.
"Where is the planetarium?" Artesia demanded.
"Ehhh?! You know about the planetarium?! No fair, I was gonna save that for the next info dump!" BB just shrugged it off. "Oh well, even if you know, I'm not telling you where it is, so you'll have to find it yourselves!"
"Why do you think we came here to begin with?" Haruhi pointed out.
"...Okay, that's fair. I suppose I can let your minor violation slide this time," BB smirked. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to lecture my newest Sentinel about using her Karmaphage properly! BB, out~!" The holo-screen winked out.
"...Well, at least we dealt her a minor setback," Artesia sighed. "Shall we return to the church, Master?"
"Yeah, let's," Haruhi nodded, the two going off.
*Back at the church...*
"Wait, so Gudako's newest servant was the Sentinel?!" Haruhi gasped after Ritsuka told her what happened.
"Yeah, she said she was napping after her catfight with Tamamo, and then she woke up here and got enslaved by BB," the younger Master explained.
"Hmm... Sir Gawain, did you take a nap at any point this morning?" Artesia asked.
"Well, I think I went to Fantasia Resort to relax before I heard the summons for the rayshift," Gawain's brow furrowed. "I don't think I nodded off, but..."
"Are you saying that Sir Gawain and Tamamo Cat are naught but dreams here?" Tristan suggested. "They seem real enough to me..."
"I think I would know if I was dreaming," Gawain asserted.
"W-well, I hope you don't wake up anytime soon!" Mable spoke up. "You're the one I trust most to keep me safe, brave knight!"
"Excuse me, but I'm the one that's been guarding the sanctuary all this time," Tristan said in mild annoyance.
"O-oh, no, I didn't mean that as an insult!" Mable backpedaled. "It's just, you seem so melancholy all the time..."
"Sir Tristan can be a hard one to read. Believe me, I know," Artesia sighed. "Back in Camelot, I could never tell if he was sleeping or not, due to him having his eyes closed all the time..."
"N-no, I surely wouldn't nod off in the course of my duties!" Tristan stuttered.
"Liar, liar, pants on fire," Meltryllis taunted.
"Enough, Meltryllis!" Artesia yelled. "Our priority right now is rescuing Tamamo Cat from BB's clutches! Does anyone have any suggestions?"
"I might have a way." The group turned to see Emiya Alter standing at the entrance. "When you next confront that berserker, take me along. I'll get the job done."
"...Very well, Shi- Emiya," Artesia assented. "We shall leave it in your capable hands."
"...Heh, don't be too trusting. I could turn on you in a second," the darkened archer smirked. "When you're ready, we'll head out."
"Let's just hope we don't run into those other Alter Egos Haruhi mentioned," Ritsuka said.
"Nah, I think they're being kept on a tight leash. The only one we have to worry about is that Passion-girl," Haruhi stated.
"Passionlip. And I can understand why Drop is being reined in... she tried to usurp BB outright in the past," Meltyrllis recalled. "Vio's likely just keeping an eye on her, just in case. So shall we head out, Master?"
"Alright, let's get moving," Ritsuka nodded. "Haruhi, you and Artesia stay here with Tristan for now. Hopefully we'll be back soon with Tamamo Cat in tow..."
"Good luck, guys," Haruhi said, waving after the party as they left...
*To be continued...*
