Runar and Halvdan had just reached the forest of the Grey Mountains. They had endured the cold rain ever since the end of the last chapter. A considerable time, in other words. Now, the weather gods smiled maliciously on them and replaced the cold, wet rain with cold, biting wind instead. The dwarfs decided to camp for a couple of days in a narrow valley to dry their clothes and rest. After creating a small river formed from their dripping travelling cloaks they set out to scout and look for food. They didn't found any animals, because they were too smart to be out in such miserable weather and had gone to sleep in their nests for the winter. Some mushrooms and roots were available though, if not so tasty.

As they sat down for the evening longing to be somewhere else, Runar tried to find some way to cheer them up. Picking up a mushroom, he recalled a stupid story he once heard in a tavern in Dale.

-I once heard a stupid story in a tavern in Dale.

-What's new with that? Stupid stories are the only thing you hear in those taverns. Halvdan was clearly not in his best mood.

-It was about mushrooms. You know about those human warriors they call berserkers?

-Those "angry fighters" or whatever it was?

-Yes, they are supposed to be able to "go berserk" in dire situations, becoming enraged and stronger than usual warriors.

-Sounds pretty stupid. Like "What are you gonna do tomorrow?" "Oh, I have some painting to do and then I planned to go and get angry". Or the battle tactics; "Cover the flank while I get ready to go and get angry". Relations: "Coming, honey, just have to go berserk a little" "But you went berserk just before lunch?" "Yeah, just need to work on my enraged howl a bit".

-Evidently you have heard of them.The stupid thing I heard was that berserkers would use the mushrooms known as fly agarics to enter their rage.

-What, they like..eat those poisonous things and then get angry?

-Something like that.

-So berserkers don't just have a special way of being angry, they also have to eat poisonous mushrooms to get angry enough. Idiots. Those mushrooms make people sick and dizzy and have hallucinations sometimes. The only way to win a battle in that condition would be to vomit over the foe and hope they flee to escape the stench.

-Maybe they get angry because someone offered them fly agarics for dinner?

-I certainly would.

-Stupid thing to start with, this angry stuff. Anyone in battle is bound to get angry or frightened or emotional in some other way. I mean, a sane person don't stand in the middle of guys trying to hack his head off with an indifferent smile on his face.

-There is no coincidence that all authors who have tried to describe berserkers have never been soldiers themselves, much less been in a battle.

Runar and Halvdan continued to mock the silly tavern guests of Dale for the rest of the evening.

The next day all was white.

The two dwarfs jumped out of their hut at near light speed. All around them lay a thick cover of snow and the sky was clear. Runar and Halvdan happily hurled themselves into the snow, throwing snowballs at each other and on the whole behaved outrageously in the eyes of the warmongering total war centre audience. Their only problem was that the clothes were now covered in snow instead of dry, but it didn't matter too much since snow is easily brushed off. A bigger problem was that the cloaks had frozen and were stiff. They had to tie them to their backpacks and wait for them to melt.

After walking for some hours the dwarfs came out in the open again. A long ridge that stretched for miles; so high that trees did not grow on it, and therefore with much deeper snow. Skiing time! At that moment Halvdan had the most brilliant idea.

-Let's climb that mountain to our right! Then we can ski downhill on the other side and save time.

-You mean the time we lose when climbing the mountain?

-Uh, yes, but this is better than just going below the mountain. If someone would be waiting to ambush us, we can outrun them while skiing downhill. We will only be vulnerable during the climb. If we go below the mountain we will be open to attacks all the time.

-But the point here is to avoid being chased at all. We won't have the opportunity to negotiate with half a raiding party behind us.

-Just trust me. I am after all the head of the espionage and camouflage here.

-Right…

So the party set out to climb the great mountain. Again, the dwarf camping equipment proved sufficient and there was no shortage of mattocks, ropes and grappling hooks. Forcing their way to a wide plateau Runar and Halvdan could cover a great distance skiing. They were even able to find shelter for the night in a large cave.

To the left of the entrance was a large stone with a flat side that caught Runars attention. It seemed to have some cracks in it. On closer inspection, he found that they were letters! Someone had been there and engraved a message on the stone. Or was it more? He summoned Halvdan.

-Look, someone has written something here. It's like a guestbook of stone.

-Well, what does it say?

-Let's see…pass the torch.

-Pass the torch? What is that supposed to mean? Why write it instead of saying it?

-No it isn't written! Just pass the torch you are holding, please!

-Oh, right! Now what does it say?

-"Halvdan is a Scotsman better suited to gutting fish than pleasing women" said Runar with a faked accent that M2TW players would describe as South European.

-WHAT THE…

-Hahahaha!

-Oh, witness the maturity and diplomatic skill of Runar, the amazing talking sewer entrance. What's a Scotsman anyway?

-Some fellow at the pub talked about them one evening. He said that generals from some place called Milan used to motivate their troops by telling them that killing the Scotsmen was a mercy "for by doing this, we release them from their horrid wives, women better suited to gutting fish than pleasing men". Stupid. No soldiers would want to invade Scotland after hearing that. Now, the text…

"Chang"

"Tintin was here"

"Stop writing on my stone!" signed "the yeti"

"Where were you when that snow monster tried to eat me? I will never speak to you again Obi-Wan" signed "Luke"