Fate/Kyon's Order: The Return
A Haruhi Suzumiya & Fate/Grand Order Crossover
by Derald Snyder
Part 21: Clash of the Titans
*Dorsal Plane*
"So, are you all ready?" Robin Hood asked the party.
"Yeah," Ritsuka nodded, holding the code cast that would unlock Passionlip's heart.
"Um, but Edgemiya hasn't come back..." Tamamo Cat looked around.
"Forget him. He can handle himself, anyway," Artesia grumbled. "Let's hurry, we may still be able to save Sir Gawain! And then try to find Master!"
"Alright, here we go..." Robin Hood, bowing down and tickling the floor...
*Flank Separator, Ventral Plane*
(Music- 'spinal sg coaster')
"-Oof!" Haruhi grunted as she, Andersen and Shiki touched down. "Well, we made it back to SERAPH, at least..."
"And so did those two monsters!" Hans pointed at Tiamat and Kingprotea wrestling with each other. Beyond them stood a surprised Passionlip, and...
"Sir Gawain!" Haruhi gasped upon seeing the knight's dire condition. Immediately she warped herself and her two companions over to his side... "Gawain, speak to me! Stay out of the light!"
"Master... Suzumiya...?" Gawain grunted. "Where did you...?"
"Not important right now! Just sit down and let me take care of you!" Gawain did as ordered, Haruhi closing her eyes... (Okay, happy, healing, all-better thoughts!) A green sparkling aura enveloped the saber, restoring him to peak health!
"Ah, thank you, Master!" Gawain sighed as he stood back to his feet. "I feel like a million pounds! Or should I say yen?"
"All well and good, but what about the giants?!" Hans insisted.
"Get offa me!" Kingprotea finally managed to throw Tiamat off, only for the Beast to tackle her again as she tried to right herself! Just then, Ritsuka and the others reappeared nearby...
"Master!" Artesia cried upon seeing Haruhi, ignoring the titans and rushing over to her. "Are you all right?! Why did you not transport with us?!"
"Long story, Artesia," Haruhi shook her head. "I'll tell you after we resolve this!" She pointed to the colossal struggle.
"Wait, what is Tiamat doing here?!" Ritsuka gasped in disbelief, no doubt recalling the Babylonia singularity.
"I had no choice but to summon her to try and stop that giant Alter Ego!" Haruhi shouted to him. "Don't worry, I've got her under a Command Spell!"
"Okay, I can safely say I wasn't expecting this!" Meltryllis grunted as she and the others went to regroup with Haruhi. "What is Protea doing here anyway?!"
"That's a very good question!" BB's voice echoed. "I would send in backup, but I'm afraid that other giant would squish them immediately!"
"You remember Kuyou Suou?" Haruhi asked Ritsuka, the young man turning pale at hearing that. "I'll take that as a yes. She tried to attack me when I was stuck outside SERAPH's boundaries, and when that didn't work, she woke up that Kingprotea and told her to kill me!"
"Yes, and I'll kill you after I squish this meanie!" Protea yelled as she threw Tiamat off again. "Airvata, King Sized!"
"Oh, not again... everybody run!" Haruhi cried as Kingprotea grew to colossal size, the others taking her advice and fleeing! Even the controlled Passionlip decided to retreat as Protea brought her hand down...
"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Tiamat screamed in apparent fear before getting squashed into literal black paste!
"Any more bright ideas?!" Hans yelled at Haruhi.
"NOW can you call in backup, Boss?!" Robin Hood demanded.
"You bet I will! Violet, Kazuradrop, get your butts down here!" The two Alter Egos that Haruhi and Artesia had faced off against earlier appeared in cartoonish poofs! "Protea's slipped her cage! Stop her by any means necessary!"
"Understood!" Violet nodded, rushing forward as Kingprotea shrank back to her 'normal' size again, managing to cut off a piece of her bandages with her whip arms! "Here, Drop!" She tossed the bandage to her fellow Alter Ego.
"Yeah! Finally I get to cut loose!" Kazuradrop exclaimed. "id_es skill: Insect Eater!" The piece of Protea's bandage was turned into data which the Alter Ego literally ate and swallowed, suddenly growing to Kingprotea's size, aging up to a teenager in the process! "I hate anyone who reminds me of myself, so I'll have no trouble killing you, Protea!"
"Huh?! Why do you wanna kill me, Drop?!" Kingprotea cried in distress. "All I wanna do is squish Haruhi Suzumiya!"
"Suzu... miyaaaahh...?" the restrained Passionlip echoed, before turning and focusing on the brunette. "Ah... Ahhhhhh!" she cried, rushing at her!
"Oh, COME ON!" Haruhi screamed as she separated herself from the group, literally flying away from Lip's giant claws! "One Alter Ego trying to kill me was bad enough!"
"Haruhi! Catch!" Ritsuka threw the code cast in her direction. "Use that to unlock her heart!"
Although his throw fell short, Haruhi managed to call the code cast to her hand. "Thanks! Okay, here I go!" Stopping, she did a flip-jump over Passionlip's claw swipe, before thrusting the code cast down into the Alter Ego's massive chest...
*Inside Passionlip's heart...*
"Whoa... psychedelic," Haruhi stared in awe at seeing the film reels spiraling in the distance. Looking ahead, she saw Passionlip ready to attack. "Okay, Lip, let's do this!"
"Ahhh!" Passionlip answered, sending out her claws like rocket fists, Haruhi skillfully dodging one, then the other rushing forward and leaping, landing on Passionlip's ample chest, her knees pressing into her massive 'cushions'!
"Gotcha!" Haruhi grinned in triumph as she grabbed the metal blindfold, pulling at it until it popped off, causing it and the rest of the restraints to vanish, revealing amethyst eyes set into a very cute face! "Wha..."
"Huh...?" the Alter Ego blinked a few times, before looking up at the brunette. "Did... did you free me?"
(-record screech!)
"Y... you..." Haruhi stammered.
"Huh? What's wrong? Do I look scary to you...?"
"OMIGOSHYOURESOCUTE!" Haruhi screeched, throwing her arms around Lip's neck. "Ahh, your face-! Your voice-! It's just so- moe! Ahhh, so adorable~!"
"Ack, stop! You're choking me!" Passionlip gasped...
*Back in reality...*
Ritsuka and the others blinked in shock. One moment, Haruhi had been struggling for her life, and in the next she had Passionlip in a tight neck hug gushing about how cute and adorable she was! "-Please, stop! Can't breathe...!"
"Um, can someone stop her before she strangles Passionlip to death?!" Meltryllis asked.
"Leave it to me," Artesia stated, before calling, "Master! Stop making a fool of yourself! Or do I have to tell your lover about this?!"
That registered. "Lover...? Kyon! Oh, crap!" She immediately disengaged and slid down Lip's chest, standing straight before her. "S-sorry! Anyone that reminds me of a certain mascot just gets me worked up..." Her face colored a bit in remorse.
The now-freed Passionlip didn't respond immediately, focusing on sucking in precious air. "Ugh... w-well, (cough) better than being afraid of me, I guess..." A sudden crash then drew her attention, seeing Kazuradrop wrestling atop Kingprotea! Huh?! "W-why are Drop and Protea fighting?!"
"Not like anyone can stop them!" Violet said as she ran up to them. "In fact, you're the only one who can at this point!"
"Huh? How would I do that?!" Passionlip gasped.
"Can't you just crush them into cubes, like you did with that one passageway?!" Haruhi pointed out.
"Oh, that! O-okay, I'll try! Everyone, get clear!" Haruhi and Violet promptly jogged out of the line of fire as the Alter Ego turned to face your sisters. "You two have been naughty! Time for your punishment! id_es Skill: Trash and Crash!"
"Huh?" Drop looked over to see Lip spreading her claws wide! "NO! Not that! Anything but that!"
"What...?" Kingprotea turned to look as well, only to cry out as Lip slowly began to bring claws together, causing the two giants to compress! "Ahh! I'm being crushed!"
"NOOOOOOooooooooo...!" Drop wailed as she and Protea were crushed smaller, and smaller, and smaller, until finally only two meter-by-meter cubes remained, with their faces on the front!
"Phew, done," Passionlip heaved a sigh, letting her claws drop. "Ugh, I'm tired..." She promptly collapsed where she stood, completely unconscious.
"...Good work, Lip," Violet nodded in satisfaction. "I'll take over from here." Walking up to the cubes, she placed her hands on them, which promptly vanished in twin data spirals! "There, sent them back to Mother. She can handle the rest."
"Phew, disaster averted! Good work, everyone!" BB's voice called out. "Okay, Matcha, Vio, come on back now! We gotta get this Grail War back on!" Before either Robin or Violet could express their opinions, they were dropped down trapdoors! "And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming! Until next time~!"
"...Honestly, that couldn't have gone much worse," Andersen grumbled. "In the end, the Alter Egos had to handle the problem themselves!"
"Oh, come on! I was the one who freed Passionlip, remember?!" Haruhi shot back at him.
"Only because this Master happened to have the tool necessary! You ended up as little more than dead weight in the end!" Hans countered.
"Alright, that's enough. No infighting," Ritsuka put his foot down. "I'm sure Haruhi did her best, even without a servant to help her..."
"So what am I, chopped liver?" Shiki finally spoke up.
"Wait, MONSTER?!" Meltryllis gasped in recognition. "What are you doing here?! I thought you got thrown away!"
"As it turns out, I met her in that garbage pile," Haruhi replied. "And her name is Shiki, got it?!"
"It's always nice to have more allies," Ritsuka nodded and smiled. "Welcome to the party, you two." He held out his hand to Shiki, who reluctantly acquiesced to the handshake. "So, now what?"
"Well, now that Lip is free, the path to the Command Room should be clear," Melt pointed out. "But someone needs to take care of Lip, too..."
"I'll take her!" Tamamo Cat volunteered, running up to the prone Alter Ego, easily lifting her onto her back! "I'll bring her back to the church! Anyone going with me?"
"I'll come with you. I need some downtime after all that craziness," Haruhi replied. "Artesia, if you're not too fatigued, you should stick with Ritsuka for now. No telling what you'll find in the Command Room, after all..."
"As you wish, Master. Go back and get some rest," the blackened saber nodded. "What about you, Sir Gawain?"
"Well, thanks to Master Haruhi's healing skills, I'm as hale and hearty as ever! So I shall accompany you as well, my liege! -er, Artesia."
"I think I'll go back with Suzumiya," Shiki stated.
"As will I, seeing as I'm no use in a fight," Hans concurred.
"All right then," Ritsuka agreed. "Hopefully we'll be back soon, with survivors in tow!"
"Good luck!" Haruhi waved farewell to her fellow Master, the two groups going their separate ways...
*To be continued...*
