COLD OPEN

Kaleigh: Britney Spears, fifteen seconds to curtain, Miss Spears!

Britney (smiles): Thanks, Kaleigh. Uhh, Kaleigh.

Kaleigh (about to close the door): Yes?

Britney: I'm a bit nervous about being on your show tonight.

Kaleigh: Oh really? Why?

Britney: Have you ever had a percussionist on the show?

Kaleigh: Oh, you mean Buzz?

Britney: Yeah, I think that's the one! (sighs) I'm a bit nervous because I'm worried he'll attack me.

Kaleigh: Don't worry, Brit, most of us don't bite. (Buzz runs into the room and starts attacking Britney) … Or do we? (rolls her eyes)

OPENING NUMBER

"Another Opening, Another Show," performed by all seven ZOOMers.

Eric: Hi, and welcome to the ZOOM Hour.

Caroline: …Our new show, and a great one that's full of singing and dancing and loads of fun.

Kenny (nods): M-hm, that's right. Today we have our special guest Britney Spears (ZOOMers and audience applaud)!

Buzz: …And you're also going to see some fun songs and comedy sketches, but we won't spoil them for you. Stay tuned!

Rachel: Oh, umm, everyone, can I please do my act first?

Kaleigh (rolls eyes): …And I thought my act was first!

Frances: No way! My act was definitely first!

(The ZOOMers get in a fight)

(Just then, Kenny blows a whistle)

Kenny: Okay, okay, everyone, listen, I'm the oldest, so I decide who's going to do what.

ZOOMers: Respond with various "okays" and "I knows."

Kenny (cont'd): Alright, whose act was going to be first?

Caroline (raises her hand): Ooh, ooh, I was going to be first, Ken!

Kenny: Okay, Carey said her act was going to be first, so let's go with her.

Rachel, Kaleigh, and Frances (sighing): Okay, Kenny!

Frances (shrugs): Whatever you say!

Kenny (smiles: Good, everything's well. Okay, back to the number!

(Song continues)

BACKSTAGE

(Caroline and Kenny are seen walking into the ZOOM set)

Caroline: Boy, that was a great number! Wasn't it, Kenny?

Kenny: It sure was! Hey, Carey,

Caroline (stares at him): Hmm?

Kenny: What was your act going to be?

Caroline: I was going to … uhh, I forget, maybe something with you. (kisses him)

Kenny: Eww! Not another kiss!

Caroline: I have to! Why? Because I love you very much!

Kenny: THAT'S IT! LISTEN, CAROLINE, I DON'T WANT ANOTHER KISS, NOW GET OUTTA MY WAY!

Caroline (sighs and walks away): Okay.

Britney (walks in): Hey, Kenny, what's the matter?

Kenny: Hi, Brit. Caroline wanted to do something with me for her act tonight and started kissing me, now I don't wanna be her boyfriend anymore.

Britney: Wow! I guess that hurt her feelings!

Kenny: Yeah, I know I shouldn't do things like that.

Britney: Listen, why don't I be your new substitute girlfriend until Caroline comes back?

Kenny: Oh, okay. (Kenny and Britney kiss)

Caroline (watches them): Uh oh - he's with a new girl now!

MUSICAL NUMBER

Britney sings a clean version of her song "Toxic" with Kenny.

BACKSTAGE

(Eric is seen flirting with Rachel. Caroline walks up to them)

Caroline (sighs and waves): Hey, you two!

Eric and Rachel (notice her): Hey, Caroline!

Rachel: What's wrong, Carey?

Caroline: Kenny said he doesn't want to be my boyfriend anymore and now he's with Britney Spears.

Eric: Oh, really?

Rachel: This must be your imagination.

Caroline: No, really, and now I have to find a new boyfriend. (stares at Eric) Eric?

(Eric screams)

Eric: No thanks, Carey. I'm already with Rachel. Isn't that right, babyface?

(Rachel nods and kisses Eric)

Caroline (sighs and walks away): Fine, now I'll give Buzz a try!

SKIT

Eric, Kenny, and Buzz play basketball

UK Spot

Kenny, feeling fine with Britney but still missing her true love, sings "Sweet Caroline" in a darkened room.

BACKSTAGE

(Buzz is seen hanging out with Kaleigh and Frances, Caroline walks in)

Buzz: Hey, Caroline!

Kaleigh and Frances: Hi!

Kaleigh: So, wazzup, my girl?

Caroline: Kenny dumped me for Britney Spears.

Buzz, Kaleigh, and Frances: WHAT?!

Frances: Wait a minute, is that true!

Caroline (nods her head sadly): Yeah, and now I have to find a new boyfriend. (to Buzz) Buzz, what about you?

Buzz: Me? Well, I can't decide on who my girlfriend is - it's a tie between Frances and Kaleigh. (to Kaleigh and Frances) Is that right, you two?

Kaleigh and Frances (nodding their heads): Right!

Frances: …But everyone knows that I'm Buzz's real girlfriend. (to Buzz) Isn't that right, Buzzy-Wuzzy? (kisses him)

Buzz: Eww! (to her, Kaleigh, and Caroline) As I said, it's a tie!

Kaleigh: No way! (smiles creepily) I think I'm his real girlfriend.

(Kaleigh and Frances get into a fight. Britney and Kenny notice and walk into the room)

Britney: Hey, what's all the commotion about?

Buzz: They're fighting over who's my girlfriend!

Kenny: Oh, come on! We've gone over this at the start of the show! Now, who was his girlfriend first?

(Kaleigh raises her hand)

Kenny (cont'd): Okay, I guess Kaleigh was the first. Kaleigh, you go out on a date with Buzz. Buzz, you date Kaleigh.

Buzz and Kaleigh (nodding hands): Okay, Kenny!

Caroline: Well, Buzz has Kaleigh, Eric has Rachel, and Kenny, you have Britney, and now I have no boyfriend left.

Britney: I see, I see. Kenny, you told me this before, right?

Kenny: Right. Well, Caroline,

Caroline: Hmm?

Kenny (cont'd): Wanna go out on a date tonight?

Caroline (gets up): OH YEAH, YES, OF COURSE! (screams loudly)

Britney: Caroline, that was too loud!

Frances: Yeah, I almost lost hearing!

Caroline: Well, Kenny, wanna be my boyfriend again?

Kenny: Sure, girl. (they kiss)

SKIT

Buzz shows off his nunchuck skills.

BACKSTAGE

(Caroline and Kenny are having a romantic dinner at a fancy restaurant. Suddenly, Britney walks up to them)

Kenny: Britney, what are you doing here?

Britney: You dumped me for this other girl!

Kenny (corrects her): Caroline.

Britney (cont'd): Oh right. You dumped me for Caroline.

Caroline: Yep.

Britney: Kenny, one question.

Kenny: Hmm?

Britney (cont'd): Will you still be my boyfriend?

Kenny: Of course! I can have both of you girls - Caroline and Britney.

Britney: Aww, thanks, Kenny. You're the best. (kisses Kenny, while Caroline watches in awe)

Caroline: Problem solved! (winks at the viewers)

CLOSING NUMBER

Britney sings her song "Hit Me Baby One More Time" accompanied by Caroline, Kaleigh, Rachel, and Frances.

GOODNIGHTS

Eric: Well, that's all the time we have tonight for the ZOOM Hour.

Kaleigh:...Our first one ever.

Eric (cont'd): Right! Thanks for coming!

Buzz: …And we would like to thank not all of you who watched us tonight, but our guest star Britney Spears! (the ZOOMers and the audience applause as Britney walks up onstage)

Britney: Thanks for mentioning me you guys.

Kenny: So, Britney, how was being on the show tonight?

Britney: Being on the show? Oh, I loved it, just like I love you, Kenny! (she kisses him as the other ZOOMers watch in awe)

Caroline: Well, we'll see you next time on…

ZOOMers and Britney: The ZOOM Hour!

Frances: Thanks for watching!

Rachel: See you tomorrow!

Other ZOOMers: Bye!

CLOSING THEME: United We Stand

END