for ql, kestrels, chaser 3, round 6, lily&severus, prompts: 2. tripping over something; 3. surprise; 15. guilt

thank you to ari and blue for betaing!

1345 words by gdocs


Lily is ignoring him.

Severus is trying to ignore that fact, but his eyes can't help but stray over to the Gryffindor table every once in a while. It's been going on for a couple of days now already, the whole ignoring thing, and Severus can't figure out why. Usually, Lily comes over to the Slytherin table and at least says 'hi' to Severus. Sometimes she stays and eats a little bit with him. At the bare minimum, Lily at least catches Severus' gaze from across the hall and gives him a smile. He'd be lying if he said that Lily's new silence doesn't sting. It's frustrating because he knows that he can't go over to her the way she comes to him — silver and green in a sea of red and gold attracts much more negative attention than the opposite.

It especially stings because of the time of year it is. Severus hopes that she hasn't forgotten and Lily's ignoring is only temporary because she's preoccupied with a class or something of the sort. There are still a few days left for her to stop ignoring him, he supposes.

There are still a few days left until his thirteenth birthday.

Except Severus misses his friend. Lily is the one person he has that he's been friends with since before Hogwarts. Friendship in the Slytherin house is complicated. Most people want connections to strong families. There are genuine friendships, but the future and what you can get from your friends is always at the back of everyone's minds.

With Lily, it's not like that. With Lily, it's simple.

Except when she randomly ignores him for four days straight. Severus can't figure out what he did to make her so cold. Seeking her out in the Great Hall is still something Severus wants to avoid, but Lily did give him a copy of her schedule at the beginning of the year to see if they had any classes that lined up. They didn't, but Severus can still catch her after a class and try to talk with her as they walk to her next class.

On that Wednesday, Severus leaves the History of Magic class a little bit early, slipping out of the back of the class in the hopes that Binns isn't paying attention to him. History of Magic seemed like the best class to leave early from due to the ghostly state of their teacher. Unfortunately, Lily has Charms when Severus has History of Magic — way on the other side of the castle. Severus starts walking relatively fast as soon as he's out of the classroom, but he's only halfway there by the time the bell rings. He picks up the pace a little bit, nearing a run, and in his mind, he starts to pray to every god he can think of that Lily is dawdling around in the hallway or in her classroom and Severus will be able to speak to her.

Preferably alone, he adds to his silent prayer.

His lungs are starting to ache and his heart is pounding, but the Charms classroom is at the end of the hallway he just turned into, and miraculously, he can spot a head of red hair coming out of the classroom alone.

Severus is almost there — so painfully close — when he suddenly goes flying. His feet get tangled up with each other and he trips over them, scrambling. He ends up on the floor on his stomach, his elbows and his ego bruised. Severus can hear a few people around him snicker at him, with no one offering any help. Severus pushes himself up with his arms and lifts his head just in time to see Lily at the other end of the hallway, giving him a glance of something — maybe pity? — before turning down a different corridor.

So much for the whole "talking" plan.

Severus' birthday comes.

Thirteen feels the same as twelve, more or less, except now he suddenly is lacking his best friend. Severus can't go over to the Gryffindor table during meals — he doesn't need all of the Gryffindor house to boo him and give him the evil eye on any day, much less on his birthday. Still, another brilliant plan forms in Severus' head in order to reach Lily. If she doesn't want to be best friends with him still, then fine. The least she could do, though, is wish him a happy birthday. That's all he wants.

He heads to the Entrance Hall early, before everyone else — but without running there — and he waits, standing outside as people start trickling in. Some people notice him, just standing there, waiting, but Severus only cares about looking for one person.

Eventually, she arrives, walking side by side with one of her friends — Mary, Severus thinks.

"Lily!" Severus calls to her, loud. Lily makes no indication that she hears him, but her friend pauses and touches her arm, saying something that Severus can't hear. Lily shakes her head and they keep on walking, completely ignoring Severus' call.

"Lily!" Severus calls again, cupping his hands around his mouth in the hopes that she could hear him better. She doesn't hear — or chooses to pretend she doesn't — and neither does Mary. For some reason, the thought that Lily is still choosing to ignore him sends a flash of anger through his body.

"Hey," he says, making a few strides to step in front of Lily and Mary. "You're ignoring me," he demands, looking Lily in the eyes as the anger bubbles in his stomach. "Why?" he demands.

Lily, for her credit, immediately looks at Severus with guilt in her eyes. Severus sees it and wants to forgive her right away. She probably has a good reason for her silence, right?

Except then Lily looks down and tries to step around him without answering.

"What is the matter with you?" Severus asks to Lily's back, nearly yelling, his voice rising in pitch.

Lily spins back around, the same guilty expression still on her face — a little frown, knit brows and pleading eyes.

"Look, I'm sorry," Lily says, glancing at her friend for a second. "Just meet me by the Black Lake at three, and I'll explain everything, I swear."

Before Severus even has the chance to answer, Lily turns back around and starts walking away.

"You could've at least wished me a happy birthday," Severus says uselessly at her retreating back.

Severus considers not going, just to show her how hurt she made him. Still, his feet find their own way to the Black Lake at a quarter to three.

When he gets there, he can see Lily standing a little bit away, pacing back and forth, looking nervous. Severus gets closer to her and he can see that she's standing near a huge blanket, with what looks like a feast for ten people on it.

"What is this?" Severus asks, making Lily's head snap up. She looks shocked as if she didn't actually expect him to show up. He is early, he supposes.

"Oh, Severus," she says, and a little thrill goes through him at her saying his name again. "I'm so sorry, I just knew I wouldn't be able to keep it a secret and I wanted it to be a surprise, so I thought not talking to you would help me from spilling it, which it did, but —"

"What do you mean?" Severus asks, not quite following her rambling.

"Well, I arranged this for you," she says, gesturing to the picnic behind her. Severus can see a bunch of different types of bread and marmalades and jams and fruits and puddings and it all looks delicious. There's ham and chicken and at least four different types of cheeses.

"For me?" Severus repeats. He can't quite believe Lily did this for him. It doesn't quite add up.

"Well, of course," Lily says, beaming at Severus, which makes him beam back. "Happy birthday, Sev."