Moments later, Aranea peekd outside her hive and looked out at the world she was to inhabit. But there was practically nothing to see at all! Her world was covered in fog: the Land of Fog and Shine (LOFAS). As she opened a window to see if she could see something, Aranea thought that perhaps some glitch had happened. But then she saw a small black creature scratching against her azure-walled hive. It looked like a short little creature-an imp-with a stocky body and no clothing. Implanted on its forehead was an 8. She gasped at the sight, not in fear but in astonishment. She logged onto Trollian to tell Meenah:

Arachne's Gift (AG) began trolling Cetaceous Catastrophe (CC)

AG: Woooooooow! The virtual reality simul8tor for this game is simply amazing! I look right outside my hive, and I see an enemy that looks so a8surd, 8ut so real! It even has a cute little 8 on its head!

CC: uh yeah serket i kinda lied bout the vr shit

this game just sent you to a new world. heck a new tunaverse

and uh your old place woulda gotten sunk by a meteor if you didn't get a swim on soon

somehow you did good which i just don't get

how can you take 8 minutes to glub with me but reel short time to get in the Medium

yeah it just seems weird. guess you're good if you don't have distractions like other glubbin' people

yeah anemonewaves shit just got reel for yall

had to lie to get you to join

it was the only wave

i been feelin' all kinds a sorry that i had to do it 38(

but i bet we'll be coral reel soon 38)

Peixes out 38) 38) 38) 38) 38) 38) 38) see i made 8 8s for ya

AG: ...8ut you only made seven emoticons...

Aranea sighed in frustration and decided to go exploring outside her hive.

"How could I have known that the game was real?" she asked herself. But then, Mindfang's voice-very quiet and faint this time-told her the answer.

"You knew it all along. You had just never found time to shed a light on this knowledge."

"Huh?" Aranea said aloud. She could hear Mindfang groaning.

"That was a hint! Li8!" Mindfang cried, her voice louder than it had ever been before. Aranea didn't know how she knew, but she felt like that was her last message.

From what Mindfang had said (rather, yelled) at her, Aranea figured she'd need a particularly powerful source of light to clear up the fog in her world. But first, she checked out the walkthroughs for Sgrub online. She didn't find any for it, but she did find one for a game called Sburb. When she tried to look at, she found that it was all in some kind of weird language. Oh, well.

She stepped outside, armed only with the two lucky six-sided dice that she gained from Mindfang. The imp turned its head and faced her, glaring with its pupiless beady eyes. It tried to scratch Aranea with its claws, but she dodged the blows. The imp tried to chase her, and she instinctively ran, but instead of back in her hive she went around her hive in a panic. Her fear was quickly alleived, however, when she heard a crunching sound.

"Oh, Nelly! Thank goodness you're here!" she cried, embracing the hairy leg of her lusus. Nelly was not the lusus' actual name, but she had learned to respond to it anyway. She had crushed the imp with her thin-but-powerful spder leg. Nelly lowered her head so that Aranea could get on her back. She was about to climb on when she heard a sloshing sound. She turned around to find that it was her 8-ball sprite, floating down to the foot Nelly had used to crush the imp. Where the imp had been were several bits of grist.

"You want me to pick that up? Well, ok. Does it help me in the game, or something?" Aranea asked her sprite. It hovered up and down to indicate a yes. Nelly lifted her foot and Aranea picked up the grist. Nelly once again let Arenea get on her back. As Aranea tugged on her hair to steer her like a hoofbeast, Nelly gave a cordial hiss.

"So, when you squashed the imp, how exactly did you feel?" Aranea asked for clarification. "Like you had just...advanced up the echeladder? What's that?" Nelly shrugged.

"From rookie spinneretist to 8 edged 8rawler? Sounds good to me!" Aranea replied. She got out her laptop as they traveled, remembering to contact the next player to enter the game.

. . . . .

Meulin Leijon was curling in full cat-nap posture (yes, nose to anus) when she heard the sound indicating that Aranea was trying to troll her. Oh, no, wait...no she didn't. She's deaf. And the vibrations certainly weren't enough to wake her up.

Arachne's Gift (AG) began trolling Anthropomorphic Complexity (AC)

AG: Meeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuliiiiiiiin!

Are you there? If so, please respond within the next thirty seconds!

...

Nope. Well, if you choose to show up some time TOD8Y, please install your client disc for Sgrub. I see you haven't done that already; otherwise I would 8e poking you with a 8ig green cursor right now!

8ye ::::/

Aranea sighed, realizing who it would be that she would have to contact in order to get to Meulin. She briefly reconsidered switching Meulin's and Kurloz Makara's places, but instinct told her not to. Aranea hadn't even stopped to realize that now it was her own, rather than Mindfang's. She sighed and instead turned her focus to Leijon's matesprit; Kurloz. He would also be very likely to be unresponsive, but she had to try and see if she could get a message across.

Arachne's Gift (AG) began trolling Undergarment Crusader (UC)

AG: Kurloz?

UC: :o)

AG: Good! You're here! Could you please wake up Meulin? We're finally starting Sgrub! Also...you need to know. Sgrub isn't virtually reality at all. It's all real. Meenah neglected to tell me, 8ut she claims she had a porpoise-I mean purpose-in doing so. She claims I wouldn't 8elieve her otherwise. That may8e so, 8ut she's still a 8itch for not telling me the truth. Why would she do that to the girl who's pretty much her 8est friend-her only friend, at that?

UC: :o(

AG: 8ut nevertheless, she's still my friend. When I get another moment with her, we're going to have a talk. Not a pointless exposition, 8ut a real talk. If she deli8er8tely left this piece of information a8out how the game works to me, it makes me wonder what else she didn't tell me.

UC: :o)

AG: Kurloz, we're both using our computers. Why are you just making emoticons instead of talking.

UC: i like the emoticons

AG: I see. Perhaps you feel as if you can say so much 8y saying so little. A very efficient manner of communication. I'm a little jealous! All I can do to talk to people is make long winded speeches, while you just make quick conversation with the emoticons! 8ut then again, even my emoticon itself is pretty long winded...

UC: :o)

AG: ::::)

UC: ;o) ill tell meulin

AG: Thanks!

Kurloz rose from his wicked motherfuckin chair and turned to Meulin. They were in the same hive; the two matesprits had been living together unbeknownst to everyone else in his hive. Neither of them had a lusus; Kurloz had killed his after it had tried to investigate his spiritual practices, and Meulin's had disowned her after she had returned from her home deaf one day. Turning to his "kittybitch", he communicated with her telepathically:

"ARISE, LEIJON. IT IS TIME TO BEGIN THE SESSION. WE MUST DO SO FOR THE GLORY OF THE ONE TRUE MOTHERFUCKIN MIRTHFUL MESSIAH, WHOSE MIRACLES WILL WREAK HAVOC UPON THIS WRETCHED PLANET IN OUR ABSENCE! AS THE BITCHTITS METEOR SUBJUGGULATORS ARE SENT TO PUNISH THE MEEK, WE AND TEN OTHERS WILL ASCEND TO DO OUR PART IN BEGINNING THE MOTHERFUCKIN CYCLE FOR HIS FEEDING UPON OUR FORSAKEN MOTHERFUCKIN UNIVERSES! IN FACT, HE IS ALREADY HERE, INSIDE EACH ONE OF US, WAITING TO BE BIRTHED THROUGH OUR MOTHERFUCKIN FAILURE AND MISERY! HONK!"

"I HEAR AND OBEY, HIGHBLOOD MASTER. I EXIST TO SERVE YOUR WILL AND DO YOUR BIDDING!" Meulin replied. Kurloz smiled at her as she woke up from her catnap.

"WE SHALL ENTER THE SESSION TOGETHER, BUT WE WILL BE TAKEN TO DIFFERENT LANDS! MEET WITH ME IN MINE, AND WE SHALL CONTINUE OUR CONSPIRING!"

"HEE HEE HEE!' Meulin giggled from Kurloz's alliterative phrase. Kurloz hid inside the recuperacoon that he and Meulin shared, and she logged on to Trollian to let Aranea know she was awake:

Anthropomorphic Complexity (AC) began trolling Arachne's Gift

AC: ($0$) i'm here! sorry i was catnapping before!

AG: That's all right, Meulin. Do you remem8er what I told you to do to get in the Medium? And as Kurloz warned you just what exactly we're all getting into?

AC: (+u+) yep! he told me! once we go in, we can't go back! i'll spurread the word to the others!

AG: No need. I already did it in a memo. I hope you world turns out to 8e better than mine! So far all I see is fog, and a faint sun in the sky. I think I'm supposed to clear it somehow, 8ut I'm not sure what to do ::::(

AC: (*&*) don't get your fur in a knot! i'll bet there's some way the game will give you a hint about this. talk to Latula and see what she says! :33

AG: Agreed. I'll place the necessary equipment in this room and the one adj8cent to it. My, your hive is certainly spacious, Meulin!

AC: (#-#) i had Kurloz help me renovate it! he's pretty good at building, so whoever gets him as serfur player is purretty lucky! say, can i ask you something?

AG: Ask away.

AC: (P._.P) Kurloz told me this would be fun and all, but if it's so dangerous and sends us so far away why are we even doing it?

AG: That...is a very good question, Meulin. I suppose it was Meenah's initiative, 8ut when she first mentioned this game to me I had the feeling that it was part of some strange destiny laid in store for us. One that could make us far greater than even our ancestors. I've had dreams with Mindfang in them, telling me that this is just what we need to do. I know it sounds crazy, 8ut I feel like that there is an adventure w8ing in store for us, Meulin. An adventure in which we must prove ourselves victorious over impossible challenges...or die trying. I feel like it's simply f8, and we mustn't question it. I know that's not a very good answer, 8ut it's my personal reason for playing this game and 8eginning the session.

AC: (ZdZ) sounds good to me!

AG: You weren't listening, were you?

AC: no.

Meulin logged off and searched the hive furantically for something to prototype with. Various objects lay strewn around the room, but none of them seemed suitable. Finally, Kurloz grew impatient and stuck his head out of the recuperacoon. From inside, he took off his shorts (which were, sadly, his only piece of clothing) and tossed them at the kernalsprite.

"(#0#) Kurloz! Hee hee hee-oh." Kurloz stepped out of the recupercoon. Turns out he had another pair on underneath after all. He gave a thumbs up at his matesprit and the sprite, which was basically a floating pair of purple boxers. Thankfully they were clean. Meulin went over to nuzzle her head against him, but he was already in the next room where Aranea had placed the Totem Lathe and the Alchemiter. An olive-green mouse appeared, as well as a horn about as big as Kurloz's head. Meulin pounced on the mouth and held in her hands paws. Kurloz picked up the horn and glanced at Meulin.

"YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS."

"I AM DEAF NOW. I WILL HEAR NO EVIL, JUST AS YOU SPEAK NO EVIL."

"FOLLOW THE TEACHINGS OF THE WICKEDEST MOTHERFUCKER AROUND, AND WE WILL BOTH BE HAPPY AS THE OTHERS SUFFER."

"I LOVE YOU." Kurloz nodded curtly in agreement.

He picked up the horn and honked a Vast Honk. But not the Vast Honk. That had already happened.

. . . . .

Miles away, another troll heard it faintly and knew what had happened. This was the sound he was supposed to wait for. He checked his computer, and sure enough, Kurloz was trolling him.

Undergarment Crusader (UC) began trolling Unorthodox Advancement (UA)

UC: :o)

UA: Hello there, Kurloz. I heard the Vast Honk. I take it's time for me to start the game?

UC: :o) yep

UA: Such a quiet moirail. The rest of us are guilty of the sin of talking far too much. I wouldn't be surprised if one day we are silenced, save for you of course.

UC: :'o(

UA: You wouldn't like that? Gog...I'm sorry I said something like that. I guess that is my fate for trying to make a joke. If only you would talk more, I would get to learn from the best. Please talk to me, friend. It's always nice to have someone who will listen, and keep my secrets. But sometimes I want you to respond.

UC: i talk sometimes

UA: Yes, but not enough. Well, time to start the game, I guess. Now that it's finally come to this, I just want to say something: I feel that a great danger is upon us, a danger that we can never escape from. The only thing to do is to play this game, and see what we can do to defeat it. But nonetheless, I feel that we will fail. That I will fail. But if that is what it takes to ensure the well-being of friends, then so be it.

UC: :o( be happy

UA: If only to appease the mirthful messiahs, then yes. I shall be happy for your sake. To be honest, you and your silly clown antics have kept me alive all these years. That and my lusus. They're certainly a protective species, are they not?

UC: :'o(

UA: Oh, right. I forget sometimes. I trigger you more than Kankri in a debate, and yet you always seem so quick to forgive. Perhaps you know what is truly important, Kurloz, and you just won't tell the rest of us. It's quite a secret you've got there. One day I'll find out what it is...Is it a matespritship?

UC: :o)

UA: Ambiguous as usual, hm? Well, you know who it is I have flushed feelings for. But she can never know. I'm...too shy, too stoic, too pessimistic for her tastes. Not...rad enough.

UC: :o) try

UA: Maybe when we all enter the Medium. Now how about you set up my game?

UC: :O)

UA: Quite the goofy nose you have put on for the occasion. But can it match this? #8D

Doesn't the pound sign kind of look like a roman numeral 2?

UC: :o/

UA: I'll work on it.

Mituna Captor logged off his computer, stepping out onto the balcony that was over the entrance to his hive. He found that the Alchemiter was in the way of his view, however. He smiled in amusment. He tried to head out the front door downstairs, but that way was also blocked by the Cruxtrader. The kernalsprite was in front of the respiteblock. Mituna's two-headed cyclops lusus was on the other side. Mituna concentrated with telekinesis and brought up his computer from upstairs in his room down to the respite block, hoping this would give his kernalsprite some sort of tactical usefulness. He quickly made his totem lathes and headed back upstairs to enter his session from the Alchemiter. When he put the totem lathes in a golden supercomputer, large as it was old and clunky, appeared. On its screen was the command: Execute? Y/N. The only keys on the keyboard were Y and N.

"Now why did I get the simple one?" Mituna wondered. He pressed Y, noticing the meteor flash in the sky above him before he disappeared.